Chapter 82: Don't talk to strangers
Well, Dad's dead and things are getting better for Daryl. But they're not perfect. Daryl's 17 now and reeling from the loss of Eric. But at least he's got his brother.
Or has he?
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A few weeks later
Daryl
Merle had grudgingly let my 'boyfriend' stay for my 17th birthday party at the burger joint before we moved onto Marty's bar. Marty, my brother's best friend, was there too along with a few of Merle's friends who I didn't know well beyond their names and faces. My brother liked to keep business out of the house. I'd occasionally let them in over the years when they turned-up looking for Merle but he usually took their conversations outside into the woods. He never told me what 'business' they discussed, of course.
I felt a little intimidated by them to be honest and so did Eric who I knew was naturally shy. Real hell angels, big men, most of them. Black leather jackets, tatoos everywhere, loud and brash as the roar of their Harleys and I didn't know why my brother had invited them. So we ate our cheeseburgers and drank our milkshakes a little nervously and didn't say much and just listened to the older men. Some of bikers gave me a 'friendly' hard slap on my back to congratulate me. With them there, me and Eric didn't advertise our relationship and just pretended to be regular friends. We knew their views on 'filthy fags'. Ironic when they didn't know what Merle – my own brother - did to me and that thought made me hide the smile I felt growing on my face.
After we moved onto the bar, everyone bought me a drink or at least offered to. After Merle's buddies left, it was just me, Marty, Eric and my brother. Marty was cool – he'd known me all my life and of course, he knew the way I swayed. I just hoped that our sighs of relief when the Hell Angels left weren't too obvious. Now I held Eric's hand openly making my brother narrow his eyes at us in jealously. I loved winding Merle up, it heated things up a hell of a lot later when we were finally alone and made for a lot of fireworks between us.
'You're gonna get it later, ' He scowled and mouthed at me so that the others couldn't see. He even grabbed himself under the table where only I could see and licked his lips hungrily! I'd got over him tying to tie me up and he never tried pulling shit like that on me ever since.
At least not without asking me first.
I smirked back at him and pulled my boyfriend closer to tease him, feeling invisible and comfortable enough in our small, private booth. It was the only one kept for 'VIP's' which I guess in that small place meant people close to the owner.
Marty pretended not to see any of this if he did. At least he didn't comment. Being a bartender, he held a lot of his punters' secrets and woes in the palm of his hand and that's where they stayed and his job made him more tolerant than most where we lived. But I was pretty sure he didn't know about me and Merle. I shivered because I really hoped he didn't. I don't think even he could stomach incest.
Even if it wasn't all our fault.
Anyway, soon we were laughing at jokes and relaxing over our beers. Then each of them dropped a present in my lap, one by one. How had they brought them along without me noticing?
Eric went first. Grinning, I tore open his silver package to find a box with a braclet to match the paper it was wrapped in. Pure silver wrought in a simple design – no pattern or anything but with my name etched on the inside in slightly flowery hand-writing. It looked expensive.
'A good luck charm from my family's village in Italy.' He told me this with smile yet his voice was a little sad. 'I saw it and thought of you and got your name inscribed.' The only dampner on my birthday party was that he would be leaving soon, maybe forever. He didn't know himself when he would be back but it all probably depended on whether their business took off in Bridgetown or not.
'Thanks! It'll always remind me of you.' I took it as he meant it - as an early goodbye present and hugged him, maybe hanging onto him a bit too long in my audience's eyes, especially my brother's before I let him go. I could practically feel the jealousy steaming from him. Neither of us cared because it wasn't like I hadn't known my 'best friend's' stay was probably always only going to be temporary. Still, we'd got closer and I got to hoping that he might give up his family business to be with me. Would I have grown to love him more than Jamie? Given time, maybe. Given hindsight, Eric would have definitely made me happier.
I shook off my sadness at Eric's inevitable departure and brightened up when Marty dropped his present wrapped in red paper and gold string. It was a book – looked like a hardback – not cheap- all about hunting, tracking animal spoor and living in the wild off the land. I beamed as I hugged him. 'Great! Thanks!' I exclaimed with no clue how useful it would come in the future.
Finally, the present I was looking forward to the most. It was big and bulky – an unrecognisable shape piquing my curiosity. I couldn't guess what it was from the shape. Merle hugged me sideways with one hand and ruffled my hair. 'You'll get ya main present, as soon as we're alone.' He whispered hotly into my ear. 'You know what I'm talkin' about.' He gave my shoulders a quick squeeze and looked up at the others to see if they heard before he let me go. Reluctantly.
I tried to control my rapidly beating heart and stop my breathing from speeding-up at his words. My body was reacting to his promise and there was nothing to stop it! I felt my cheeks get hotter as my blush spread and willed it to stop, praying that the other two didn't notice.
They didn't seem to. Hopefully, thought it was just my reaction to all the beer and whiskey. I'd filled out a little but grown taller still but was still pretty skinny.
I ripped open my brother's present and grinned down at the bow and arrows. 'For you to practise your shooting skills.' He leaned over and ruffled my hair. 'Fuck knows you need to.' He mocked playfully.
'Thanks, Merle! I can't wait to try it!' I looked up at him with eyes shining.
His presents were always the best.
A couple of months later
Daryl
And there I was, the first time alone in a long time, driven out by loneliness - back at Marty's sleaze-pit. Yet, it was to me - a reassuringly familiar redneck watering-hole. Merle had been called away on business, typically he didn't tell me what and Eric had left some time ago.
Merle had happily for once done him a favor and driven him to the train station in the nearest town (about an hour and a half away). I wasn't focusing on the scenery despite this being my first time out of our shitty little mountain village. Instead, me and Eric were holding tight onto each other as long as we could. Merle would occasionally turn back over his shoulder to look at us with an unreadable expression on his face. When we arrived, we hugged and kissed each other in farewell - we didn't give a fuck who was looking – some passengers stared in shock and disapproval, not least of all my brother. But we were saying 'Goodbye' for fuck's sake!
'I'll write and send ya a ticket to come out there as soon as I get things sorted', Eric promised me as he reluctantly drew away from our embrace. Too soon, his train was already being announced on the loudspeakers.
I embraced him one last time, never wanting to ever let him go. I knew I would probably never get that plane ticket to Italy – Dixons didn't fly planes and Dixons definitely didn't go abroad. Nothing that lucky ever happened to you when your name was Dixon.
Merle did his best to try and comfort me on the drive back but I wouldn't let him. Just curled up on the other side of car, nearest the door. I kept taking off that silver bracelet to read my name etched on the inside, then putting it back on and twisting it. My tears were close.
'Don't worry, you'll get over him soon.' He took his eyes off the wheel to pat my shoulder. 'Plenty of fish in the sea, huh, baby brother?'
'Shut up! Jus' cos ya never loved anyone in ya whole worthless life…' I knew it wasn't fair but I couldn't help myself at lashing out at him.
'Not true because you know I only really love you, baby brother.' He leered playfully at me.
'Merle!' I snapped, not flattered.
Worse, what I knew deep inside me came true. I never did see Eric again.
I told myself the reason was that what happened with Jamie forced us to leave town and maybe he did send me a letter with a plane ticket inside. But we were gone.
We didn't exactly leave a calling card or forwarding address.
I even tried calling that expensive phone number to Italy several times but there wasn't even a ringtone.
Anyway, could I have ever left my brother behind if it really came down to it? I sighed in resignation.
Being with Eric in his family's vineyard in Italy was just a nice dream.
Daryl
A fight broke out between a couple of locals I vaguely knew forcing me back to the present. Now they were throwing bottles at each other causing their women to scream; before both of them – one bleeding heavily from a big cut to his face, were tossed out by a couple of burly guys acting as bouncers.
I wasn't bothered because I knew how to talk, act and even move like everyone there to convince them that I was one of them. Being Merle Dixon's little brother also added some weight. Yet when I pretended to be like them, I always felt like I was walking out of my skin. Like I was merely an imposter and a bad one at that.
Anxiety was niggling at the back of my mind again that some of the sick ones, the bad ones, would recognise me for who I really was and prey on me? Just like he'd said before he died. Is that why he had treated me differently from my brother? Even before he'd gone and crossed the final line that no father should cross with his son?
Because he knew I was different?
Let 'em try. Maybe I'd let them.I was ready for a fight to get rid of some of my nervous energy or even better – find someone to help me work it off in a much more pleasurably way in bed. Yet I felt bad for even considering doing that.
I clenched my jaw and growled deep in my throat, drawing a few curious glances –before I glared back at them and they left me alone. Went back to sullenly swigging back my beer alone while I dwelled uselessly on the past that wouldn't change anything or make me feel any better. On useless daydreams about Eric, for example. Angry also at my brother for not being here with me – I knew he had to work to put food on the table and pay the bills but it didn't mean I liked being left solo. Despite growing up there, I had few friends.
Then there were others like Dad's old buddies Joe and his crew who suspected that we'd offed him – probably after one too many brutal beatings or whippings gone too far but they couldn't prove a thing. They'd been on at us since it happened, demanding to know where our Dad was.
Right then I didn't give a toss what the few people who cared thought had happened to our father. Yet it was a dinner of herbs for real, one I had been left to deal with alone and I just had to take my mind off the bitter memories somehow. Wishing more than anything that my waste-of-space junkie brother was here to distract me. I felt guilty anyway because not only were we two guys screwing – being that way was enough to get a knife in your back here but being a Dixon I was protected from that – but he was my brother. But then I'd done a whole lot worse.
Did they know I had killed my own father? Could they see the guilt on my face?
I shoved that thought away in a hurry. It was stupid thinking like that because nobody could see and nobody could know unless I told them and I wasn't ever going to do that. Especially why I had gone and done it.
Merle was gone for almost a month already after he had left me enough cash to take care of myself. I knew that I could go to Marty if I needed more until he got back but I didn't want to if I didn't need to. I had some pride after all even if I was down to my last 20.
On the night before he'd left, my brother had held me tight to him. I didn't want to think it meant that he planned to be away from me a long time.
'I've gotta go, Darlena.' He'd kissed my forehead, a strangely innocent and brotherly kiss in complete contrast to what he'd been doing to me just minutes before.
'For how long? Why?' Upset, I stopped lazily tracing his chest with my finger and looked up at him and he'd seized my lips like he might never see me again.
'Don't ya worry about that. I gotta get us some dough – we're runnin'out. Then I'll treat ya when I come back, make it all up to ya. Promise.'
'Ya...ya jus' gonna leave me alone here?' I looked around his bedroom. I hated that house. 'Why can't ya take me with you?' I hated the whiny little brother tone of my voice that came out sometimes when I was with him.
'Don't tell me ya scared of ghosts?' He smirked but then glanced nervously towards the door as if he was afraid Dad would suddenly appear through the wall. It had been months, for fuck's sake!
'He can't get to ya no more.' He whispered, breath tickling my ear while his fingers wound themselves through my hair soothingly.
'He's gone.' He insisted quietly but I shivered and he pulled me even tighter against him. 'Sh. It's OK.'
I brushed away his hand irritably. 'Jus' tell me where the fuck ya goin', Merle!' I was serious now. 'I need to know! What if ya don't come back? Or somethin' happens to you?'
'Don't ya worry about that. I've been doing this shit for years and I always come back, don't I? Anyway, I've left ya some cash in our hidey-hole and Marty'll give ya more if ya need. He'll make sure ya alright, cos' he'll do it for me.'
'I don't care about the fuckin' money! Jus' stop treatin' me like a kid! I ain't one in case ya ain't noticed!' I tried to get up from him but he gave a dirty chuckle and moved us so I was back under him. I gasped.
'Uh huh, ya sure ain't, my sexy little brother.' He attacked my neck and chest with his mouth, lightly kissing and biting his way down my body.
'Fuck ya, Merle!' I gasped and plunged my hands into his hair. 'I'm ya brother, ya sick fuck!'
'Exactly. And don't it feel good?' He rose his head long enough to stop his assault on my stomach, that is take his tongue out of my belly button and grinned wickedly up at me. He knew I didn't really want him to stop, far from it. I was just teasing him.
He took me into his mouth and I writhed and clutched at the sheets in both hands as my back arched and my body arched as his expert mouth and tongue went to work on me. The asshole took me just to the brink before he stopped and I cursed at him.
'That was ya farewell present, Darlena. Now give me mine.' He ordered and I was more than happy to oblige although I hated the first part. When he entered me. It always made me think of Dad.
'Ready?' He asked, not making a move until he saw me nod and then he flipped me back over onto my stomach. Started preparing me again although I was pretty stretched already from before. After a while of pounding into me, his hand soon snaked under me to finish me off so that we climaxed at more or less the same time. Merle liked to be considerate like that, same way he always made sure that I wanted whatever we did.
And I loved him for it.
Daryl
…
A shout and another narrowly avoided fight between a burly drinker I didn't recognise and a local I vaguely did, shook me out of my reverie about the last time I was with my brother. I looked away again, determined to keep myself to myself and not draw attention. I just wanted a quiet drink and look forward to my brother coming home plus avoid Dad's buddies and their incessant questions about his whereabouts.
Nobody in Marty's gave a shit about me only being 17, they all knew me and usually left me to it when no cops were prowling the neighborhood. Besides, by extension of his friendship with my brother, I was unofficially under his wing and nobody dared to mess with me under his roof. Merle or no Merle, I was still underage and Marty made me promise to take a hike immediately if there was any sign of a cop sniffing around. I knew most of them by face anyway even if they were off duty in their civilian clothes.
I wasn't looking for anything serious. Only someone to distract me from thinking about how much I missed Eric but even that thought made me feel like I was cheating on him. Not only on him either. Even if I couldn't get through to him by phone.
As I started on my fifth beer of the night, these feelings of guilt gradually faded away and the only thing I needed was someone to relieve my loneliness. It didn't even have to involve sex - just someone to talk to. Preferably someone not from around here.
It was all the same faces and the same conversations swimming around me that I'd heard a million times before. Nobody bothered me but at the same time, no-one paid me any particular attention.
I was hungry for something – someone new.
You could never know what or who was around the next corner. Damn you, Merle, for leaving me for so long! I know you had to but…Why did you have to leave me, Eric? Couldn't have cared that much about me since your phone doesn't even work. Was it even a real number or just a 'deliberate' mistake? Were all your promises about sending me a plane ticket just lies?
No, you probably meant it at that time but changed your mind after a few days in Italy. Why would you want to get mixed up with a scummy, redneck Dixon – the lowest of the low, anyway? I clenched my fists then at the image of my ex twisting and moaning in the sheets with an Italian – a young, handsome guy with the same olive-skin and mild brown eyes. Eric entering him.
Is that why you left me? Because I wouldn't let you…but you didn't say anything at the time. Seemed even happy…
I couldn't, Eric. You don't know the things he did to me… and whenever someone does that it brings them all back. Even with Merle. And I can only let him because he knows but even then…
Did you sense something about me and my brother? You picked up on the names he called me… Did you know and that's why you didn't want me because we disgusted you? Not that I would blame you but you don't understand…
I shook my head, trying to climb out of the rut of negative thoughts I was currently stuck in. I drank my booze slowly – savouring the taste. Still painfully aware that I had to keep that my remaining dollars for emergencies even though I knew that Marty wouldn't mind putting my drinks on my brother's tab until he got back. I badly needed a whiskey to finish off with to raise my spirits.
But I couldn't make myself ask that of Marty.
I also badly needed company yet I deliberately avoided direct eye-contact with the other drinkers who I sensed were interested. Well, other than with the guy I was sizing up. He was meeting my gaze dead on, with a little crooked half-smile. He was tanned and smartly-dressed in a light blue business suit and designer leather shoes that literally screamed that he was from out of town. Not what I thought my usual type would be but… he just didn't fit in with a Rolex hanging off his wrist which I was surprised frankly that he still had. I could see some of the rougher punters also checking him out discreetly but not in the same way I was.
If he noticed them, he clearly wasn't worried as apparently alone, he sipped on his fancy drink. He stood out like a sore thumb – I mean - I got on well with Marty, he had known me and Merle our whole lives but his place wasn't really suitable for a rich guy from the city on his own. Wasn't he worried about being jumped and robbed as soon as he stepped out the door?
In fact, nothing seemed to bother him. He was so confident, possessing a self-reliance and I-don't-give-a-fuck-what-you-think attitude that was bordering on arrogance that was as sexy as hell. I had to admit that he was attractive – despite the obvious differences between them, he reminded me of Merle in a lot of ways. Although he was a dark brunette like me and not blond.
I wasn't the only one who was admiring him either apparently as now one of the women who had watching him, boldly took up her big glass of beer and slammed it right in front of him on the table. She sat down and thrust her big tits bulging out of her cheap tank-top right in his face. I wasn't all that surprised when he showed zero interest and instead, tried to look past her at me. I smirked victoriously as the bimbo failed to notice that she was not wanted.
'Mind if I sit here?' She slurred, leering at him.
He smiled politely but coldly at her.
'Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.' He drawled courteously at her. 'Would you mind giving me some space? I'm waiting for a friend.'
I raised my eye-brow because if he hadn't stood out before he did now. Just the way he spoke and dealt with the situation emphasized further he wasn't the same as everyone else in that bar.
She got up angrily, swishing her long blonde hair in his face.
'Screw ya then.'
He grinned at her back. 'Same to you, honeybunch.'
Without looking back, she stuck her finger up at him.
He ignored her and stared at me instead with an inviting smile.
'And there he is!' He announced loudly and beckoned me over. 'Didn't ya see me sitting here?'
I scowled back at him, not sure if I wanted his attention or not even if he was hot. Roasting. Meanwhile the handsome stranger grinned at me and scanned his eyes down my body almost too briefly to notice.
But I did and it told me everything I needed to know.
Marty and a few of the other regulars who knew me stared because they knew that I didn't know the guy from Adam. They were all watching and waiting to see what I would do.
Squirming at being the center of attention which I always hated, I thought, fuck it and decided to play along. I was bored and skint anyway. At least I might get a drink out of it.
I got a flash of perfect white teeth under his bright blue eyes twinkling with mischief. He was fit, strong and glowing with the good health that only money could buy. I also noticed that he wasn't smoking and up close, that his expensive drink was probably a double brandy. He noticed me looking at it with interest.
'Want one?'
'Yeah.'
He snapped over Rachel, one of the young, dark-haired waitresses who actually wasn't a skank. I think she may have been stupid enough to sleep with my brother once or twice.
'Another one for him, please.'
Jesus, he really didn't belong here. Did he just say 'please'? I saw her raise her eyebrows in surprise. She was impressed.
'Comin' up, sir.' Rachel tossed her pony back at him flirtatiously, swishing her hips as she went to get it. But she might as well've been invisible.
'Thank-you. Put it on my tab, would you?' He called after her. She turned around and nodded before going back on her way.
Of course, he has a tab! I wondered how he got this when it was probably his first time here.I nearly rolled my eyes but I couldn't help but watch Rachel as she continued to show off for him and caught Marty's eye instead. With Merle away, he felt like he should take over as big brother and watch out for me just like Merle said he would. He'd always done this since I couldn't remember. Of course, he didn't know about me and Merle, or if he ever suspected, smart guy that he was, he never showed it or judged us.
He shook his head at me. I briefly wondered if that was meant to be a warning, and if that was the case what did Marty know or sense about the newcomer?
'Thanks.' I played along and ignored him and everyone else who thankfully soon lost interest and went back to their drinks and conversations. 'So, what brings ya over here? Strollin' in here and pretendin' to be my friend?' But I smiled to take the sting out of my words. Also, I didn't want to seem ungrateful when the waitress came back with our drinks.
'You.' He flirted and put a hand over mine on the table-top. 'You brought me here.' I saw Marty roll his eyes before he got back to pulling beer and I had to resist the urge to pull away my hand.
He laughed then and withdrew it himself. 'Only joking – I'm here on business.' He noticed my worried expression. 'Don't worry, I'm not a crazy stalker or anything.'
I added my laughter to his, partly out of relief but feeling as exposed as hell. It wasn't that I wasn't attracted. After all, he noticed I was uncomfortable without me telling him and had backed off on his own.
I tried to pretend we were the only ones there in that bar and shut everyone, especially my brother's best friend, out. 'What kind of business? 'Cos if you ain't noticed, this place kind of sucks. Ain't nobody got money here.'
His warm breath tickled my ear as he leaned closer, making me shiver. 'Maybe I'm not here for that. I want to help people by investing in deprived areas like this.'
'Oh really?' I wasn't giving in to his charm, not just yet anyway. Besides, I didn't take to him calling my hometown 'deprived' whatever it meant but it sounded real bad. I decided that it was probably just a story to make himself look good.
I know I was acting ungrateful but talking to people had never been my strong point and I was suspicious of this guy. I saw the way he'd been looking at me although he'd tried to be discreet. Merle was better at this shit and he was the one who usually did most of the talking when we were together.
'You OK over there?' Marty called over to me.
'Yeah, fine.' I snapped then thought better of it. 'Thanks, Marty.' I added.
He nodded and served another customer. The stranger smirked and backed off to his side of the table. 'So, I finally managed to catch your attention then?' He asked it like it was a real question. 'I must have sparked ya curiosity since you came over here.'
'True.' I leaned back and folded my arms stubbornly across my chest. 'Don't take it the wrong way but ya kinda stick out here like a sore thumb. Anyway, I was bored.' I examined my hands dismissively but didn't add 'lonely' - that would just spell 'loser' even though he obviously was too. Otherwise, why was he in that dive all on his lonesome and why would he want to talk to someone like me?
'Me too.' He admitted. 'Jus' wanted someone talk to – I'm new in town.' He spoke like he'd just read my mind. 'Name's Jamie, by the way.'
I ignored his proffered hand. I knew he must have extended it out of habit but it would have looked weird to anyone watching - after all, they thought we knew each other. But I had never really cared about what other people thought and neither did he, apparently.
'No, ya don't look like ya from around here.' I leaned back and eyed him up sarcastically and took in his broad, yet toned body. He clearly looked after himself and I didn't want to let him know I approved. I guessed he was about 10 years older than me, probably late 20's or early thirties at most. I had to admit that I did find him alluring apart from being way out of my league. Or maybe even because of it. I tried to shut up those inner voices that screamed that I was betraying someone. Maybe even two people.
'I didn't catch your name.'He prodded gently. At least he didn't call me 'son', I thought to myself.
'Daryl.' I replied grudgingly then immediately looked down shyly at the table. Something about him just made me want to make a good impression, especially now that he was checking me out a little more openly but still not in a sleazy way. It was more like he was admiring me.
He opened his mouth to say something but then politely excused himself when an equally dressed and slightly older man approached him. Jamie shot off a smile at me, telling me that the guy was someone from his office. Someone else who also looked like he didn't fit in here – why had they decided to come here?
With a wink at me, he mouthed out 'Don't go anywhere.' With that, I shrugged and took my seat back at the bar, taking my drink and smokes with me. I was sipping it slowly because I rarely got the chance to drink stuff of such high quality.
Half an hour passed before I nearly jumped out of my seat when I felt someone grab my shirt roughly from behind.
I got ready to fight.
...
