Chapter 83: Jamie

Well, it looks like Daryl is finally getting his life back on track and he's meeting people and having some well-deserved fun! However, is Jamie all he seems to be? He definitely leaves a lot of questions unanswered. I also added a brief POV of him at the end which makes an interesting (and I hope revealing) glimpse into his character. It also helps to break up the Daryl-centric narration although this is necessary.

Please leave a review if you can. It would really help the author to know if you are enjoying this story or what can be improved.

Daryl

Someone grabbed the back of my shirt roughly and then ruffled my hair in a totally over-familiar way to annoy me even more! I shoved whoever it was backwards behind me before I turned round with my fists clenched ready to confront them. It was One-Eyed Joe, trailed by his shadow, Smitty – two of my father's best friends and the last people I ever wanted to see.

Feeling trapped, I nearly choked on my drink and wished myself away. As I nervously searched around the dark bar for any means to escape, I saw that Marty was busy, and Jamie who I secretly would rather be with, was nowhere to be seen. Probably talking business with his co-worker.

'Long time, no see, kiddo. Same goes for that father of ya's. Where's he at, huh? Been gone far too long now. Is he even still alive? Keep askin' ya and Merle but none of ya knows. Cops don't give a shit either not that we'd go to those hogs.

'I don't know anythin' more than last time you asked.' I shrugged and pretended not to notice Joe's look of disbelief that was written all over his face as I went back to taking another gulp of expensive brandy. His next question nearly made me choke again on it.

'Talkin' 'bout that, ain't seen ya brother around for a while. What's he up to these days, huh?'

'Dunno.' I was as non-communicative as before with the first question but they didn't take the hint.

'Come on, I don't believe that, son. ' Smitty cooed paternally at me, finally opening his mouth as the two of them gradually corralled me out of Marty's sight, away from the bar.

'You and ya brother are like this.' He hooked his two pinkies together. I looked around in panic but no-one was paying any attention. It wasn't like they were going to do anything to me but I just wished that they would just leave me the hell alone. Would they never give up?

'You say ya Dad just upped and left one night without sayin' where he was goin'?' Joe was relentless.

'Yeah! That's exactly what happened. Like I've been tellin' ya for months now!' I looked around, hoping Jamie was nearby and I could escape this grilling for much more intelligent and stimulating company.

'But he hardly ever left ya house – not lately before he... Why would he…?'

I rounded on speaker, Smitty, because now they were really pushing me to the brink between the two of them. 'Merle reckons that maybe he was even drunker than usual and slipped down a ravine – you know the one near our house. That or he jus' upped and left.' My tone was flat.

But they didn't listen.

'How can ya be so cold 'bout ya own Daddy, Daryl? He loved ya and now don't ya care about what happened to him?'

'It ain't that I don't care but what can me and Merle do about it?'

They both gave me piercing stares and part of me actually believed they could see the guilt rising like a dark tide within me.

I straightened my spine to steel myself. Who cares what they think? They obviously smell a rat but they can't prove shit. Times like that, I wished Merle had kept his damn promise and that we were already out of there. Or that he was there at least to back me up.

'Come on, Joe, can't ya see ya upsettin' the kid?' Smitty, with his ruined mouth full of black stubs piped up but unfortunately, he wasn't running the interrogation. I moved my head sideways to avoid the stench but now they were definitely deliberately backing me into a wall.

'Sure, but I want to know if he has any idea at all where Will went. If there's at least a chance we can track him down... Ya got to give us somethin', son. He was our friend!' The organ-grinder insisted.

'We already done that but he didn't leave no trace. Told ya before!' I put indignation into my voice and deliberately looked down at the floor. Then I looked up with a surprised expression of sudden realisation.

'Wait a minute, … I remember him telling us that he planned to leave one day and find a woman to start a brand-new life. Said he was sick of it here. If he's still alive and decided to take off someplace else now that I'm grown, it's his decision… 'I continued, sounding stupid even to my own ears. 'Sides, he knows how to look after himself.'

Judge and Jury both stared back at me skeptically and I admit, it wasn't the most convincing story. However, they knew that his drinking had been getting out of control before he died and that he stopped inviting them over so frequently. Because he was too busy fucking me, I thought to myself grimly. He wouldn't want them to suspect was going on.

That or Mike was scrabbling at the back of his mind and he no longer fully trusted them.

Probably both.

'Yeah, right.' Joe scoffed and laid two heavy hands on my shoulders, pinning me right where I was. I squirmed under their heavy weight furiously. 'Ya jus' remembered that now?'

When I didn't answer, he got worked up. 'Don't give me that shit, BOY!' He raised his voice and hissed at me at the same time. Now, he was sounding just like my father, making me shudder under his touch and recoil, despite myself.

'He didn't have no money and no place to go and he loved you two boys! Would never have left ya and Merle and the house he built for ya Mama!'

'Ya don't know shit.' I snarled and finally shook him off. 'Don't touch me!'

'Well, well. The little man don't want us touchin' him. Better keep ya distance, Joe.' His sidekick chuckled.

'Fuck you. I'm 17!'

'Ooh...big 17!' Smitty continued to mock me.

'What did you and ya Daddy fight about before he left, huh?' Joe drunkenly wouldn't let it lie but at least he wasn't touching me, yet I felt the familiar heat of rage spreading in the pit of my stomach.

'Who said anythin' about a fight?' I snapped.

'Joe…We don't know that. Don't want to trash Will while he ain't here to defend himself but ya know he went too far with them sometimes. Beat 'em up real bad …'

'Well, everyone knows the two of ya weren't exactly seeing eye to eye most of the time.' Joe slurred slightly now as Smitty went to order more beer (the place was now thronging with customers and the waitresses were all too busy). 'Jus' as bad as each other, the lot of ya. 'He added.

'What the hell's that supposed to mean? You sayin' ya think one of us killed him? Oh, come on.' I prayed deep inside that they couldn't hear my heart start to jackhammer in my chest when I said that or see the deep flush spreading hotly over my face and neck.

Joe shrugged and smiled creepily from ear to ear: 'Just sayin', like father, like son.'

That did it, the next thing I knew my hands were around his throat and squeezing it hard. 'I ain't nothing like that worthless sack of shit, ya hear me?!'

Whoops. Too much information. Shouldn't let them know how I really felt about the asshole before he died. Especially if they suspected that me or my brother or possibly both were responsible for his disappearance. Although both of them were too gutless to say it outright.

Normally, a still relatively scrawny 17-year-old would have had nothing against fully-grown men like Joe even though both of them were a hell of a lot older than me as well as slowed down by booze.

They had the extra bulk but the powerful drugs adrenaline and rage were flowing through me. And no matter how much Smitty (who rushed back without the drinks to the aid of his buddy without being told to first for once) tried to get me to back off from his lord and master, I always somehow snaked out of his grip.

That was until I felt another pair of hands grab my shoulders and hold me back. This time I couldn't move. Those strong arms that wouldn't budge an inch clearly belonged to someone who worked out daily; judging by the muscles I could easily feel against my back as he held me hard against the solid wall of his chest and stomach. I didn't need to think twice about who it was who held me fast in his iron-grip.

Great. How much had he heard? Did he hear about what I said about me or Merle killing him? At the very least he probably knows that I didn't get on with my Dad.

Who's dead by the way and I killed him.

I just couldn't stop my mouth running away with me when they pissed off.

'Hey, hey, Daryl, calm down.'

'Let me go!' I blurted out, frustrated out of my mind that I couldn't move an inch from where I was. 'Get your hands off me!' I roared and tried to kick out at him, but he had swift reactions and avoided every move I threw at him.

'I will, once you calm down. Can you do that for me, huh?'

Defeated, I nodded while staring daggers at Joe and Smitty as they smirked back at me. Apparently, not even surprised that Jamie had turned up or asking who he was. Probably because they were half wasted already, judging by their eyes which became more and more obviously glazed towards the end of the 'interrogation'. Coupled with increasingly clumsy body movements.

I wouldn't have been surprised even if they failed to notice his existence at all.

Yet despite him restraining me, I caught myself melting back into him before I jerked myself away again.

'Daryl, we're just lookin' for answers, that's all. We're just worried about ya ole man.'

'Yeah and as I already told ya like a million times, I ain't got none for ya!'

'All right, all right. We'll try again with Merle and see if he's got somethin'.'

'Doubt it. I'm tellin' ya the truth!'

'Maybe. But come now, can ya blame us for tryin' to find out what happened to him?' Joe carried on like Jamie wasn't there, standing behind me and holding me trapped.

It was strange. A very strange situation to be in and all I wanted was to be rid of them and have Jamie all to myself. Without his co-worker hanging around either! Was he gone? I hoped so!

'How many times do I have to tell ya both, I don't know!'

They both exchanged bleary glances but seemed more convinced finally.

'Why won't ya ever listen to me? He's probably OK and hooked up with a real piece of trailer-trash in another state like he said he was going to by now!' In my anger, I had forgot that Jamie was there and listening to all this and felt the hot blush spread on my cheeks.

I never wanted him to know about my father and now I was lying to cover up the truth. I desperately struggled to get free then but gave up when it did no good and it wasn't like I completely hated the feel of his body against me.

'That trailer-trash part sounds like him, all right.' Jo conceded. I cringed inside at my own words repeated back to me by him. Jamie would never want anything to do with me now.

'We'll try with Merle and see if he's got somethin' new to tell us. When's he comin' back?' Smitty opened his mouth again.

'Dunno (I wouldn't have told them if I knew). But you'd be wastin' ya time 'cos he don't know anythin' more than I do.'

'Sooner or later, we'll find out the truth. Ya have a nice night, now, boy.' They left, giving us strange looks when Jamie still held me put, telling me that now they saw him if they hadn't before.

'Go to hell!' I screamed after them.

They shook their heads disapprovingly and retreated to a drinking spot far away in the opposite corner of the bar that had become 'theirs' over the years. Those two were creatures of habit and die-hard patrons of Marty's, if anyone was while my Dad had never been keen on the place. Had preferred his booze and drugs 'parties' at home.

'Now, now…' Jamie said. 'Calm down.'

'Fuckin' idiots!' I snarled at their backs while I tried to free myself from him. No such luck and I hated the familiar feeling of helplessness. Truth was though, I was conflicted, wanting to be free of him but enjoying being restrained by him at the same time (how's that for fucked up?) but I wasn't going to let him know that. If I'd really felt threatened, he would have been rolling about on the floor and clutching his crotch in agony by now.

'Ya can let me go! They've gone now.' I hissed.

'Not until ya calm down.' He tightened his grip on me!

'Fuck you!' I renewed my struggles.

'Hey, kid, I said easy does it.' Jamie breathed out close to my ear but still didn't release me. Luckily, nobody noticed and Marty at the bar was luckily too far away.

'Don't ya be callin' me 'kid'!' I snarled back. He sighed but didn't loosen his vice-like grip on me. Not by a single inch.

Normally, this would have thrown-up memories of Dad doing the same or even worse and I marvelled that Jamie didn't make me feel that way.

He made me feel safe. At the beginning, anyway.

He chuckled, his warm breath tickling my ear and his arms around me got even tighter. 'I'll let ya go when ya stop fightin' me.'

Under other circumstances, all this would probably made me want him that much more, but right now, I was simply too angry. I was also wondering why he didn't help me get rid of them but had just stood there, listening to our conversation. I blushed red again because I really didn't want him to know about my trashy, redneck family. People like him wouldn't usually lower themselves to exchange the time of day with hill scum like me.

'What did I tell you about calming down? Or do you want to us to stand like this all night?'

I forced myself to go still. 'Well, I have. So would ya let me go and we can say our goodbyes now!'

He laughed. 'I ain't doing that just yet. You're still not relaxed...I can feel you trembling against me. Or maybe you do want us to do this all night, that it?'

'Yeah. No, I mean 'No'…Sorry…' I realised it was true. Although I wasn't scared – the very opposite in fact, I knew I wasn't getting out of this any other way. So, I found myself falling back on an old trick that never let me down with older men. I ducked my head in submission and surrendered my body, making it all go limp.

It worked and he let me go and spun me round to face him with an expression full of amused but not unkindly curiosity.

'So, what was all that about? Who were those guys?'

'No-one.' I mumbled. 'Just some of my Dad's buddies.'

'Did your Dad did a runner on you? You OK?' Lines formed on his forehead as he looked at me in concern.

'I can take care of myself.'

'Still… to leave you all alone… in a place like this…' He mused quietly to himself, looking around him disgustedly.

'Dixons ain't very good at stayin' in touch...He's been gone longer than that before.' I paused and even I was amazed at how easily the lies tripped off my tongue when the bastard hardly used to go anywhere after he started fucking me, not when he had my 'hot, little ass' on tap for him at home.

Definitely never stayed anywhere overnight (we didn't have the money for that most of the time) as far as I could remember. But I couldn't help worry that my new 'friend' would be suspicious, nevertheless.

'So, your name's Dixon, huh?'

I shrugged wondering if I had told him too much. If he went digging, he would find out about our reputation and I doubted he would be impressed by it. Nobody who wasn't local was.

He said nothing else, only looked at me quizzically with that playful, little smile playing on the corner of his lips. Did he suspect what really happened? Not for the first time, I cursed Dad's cronies for putting me in the shit with him. I really liked this guy, had wanted to impress him. Make him want me too. Besides, could he really be single – a rich, handsome guy like that…?

'Ya weren't meant to hear all that...'

'Tell me, anyway.'

'I want some smokes and some fresh air first.' I brushed past him to lead the way because it was getting really stuffy in the bar which was rapidly getting more and more crowded. But it wasn't my only reason for wanting to go outside.

'Want one?' I offered him a red Marlborough and he shrugged as we crossed the bar to the other side and went outside in the yard area.

'Don't smoke, huh?'

'No. And I don't think you should, either. Bad for you.'

'I'll do whatever the fuck I want!' I rounded on him. After him restraining me like he did, even though I had liked it - partly, this was too much.

'OK, OK.' He backed off with his hands held up. 'Didn't mean to tell you what to do.' We were outside by then.

'Better not.' I growled. Yet I was intrigued. My head spinning with images of him doing just that in another place and time with me liking it.

'I haven't blown it, have I?'

'Blown what?' I asked innocently, deliberately making my eyes fly wide innocently. Hell, it drove my brother crazy, would probably work on him too.

'You know.'

'Do I?' I smirked but drew closer to him. We were alone out here because line-dancing was going on inside with the necessary accompanying loud cowboy music. I'd never been a fan. I moved even closer to him and sucked on my cigarette in the corner of my mouth in what I hoped was a sexy way and blew smoke circles right in his face.

He gazed at me, taking me all in approvingly. Seemingly unaffected by the smoke. He smiled and didn't back off. He didn't know I was testing him.

'Maybe ya ain't...' I said.

He grinned.

'No. Ya ain't blown it with me. Ya still got one more chance.' I finally finished as if I had to think about it!

He grinned, showing his sparkling teeth like a shark. Was that a diamond stud in his left front tooth?

'Ya were gonna tell me what they were talkin' about in there.' I thought it strange when he changed the subject suddenly.

I shrugged, tried to act casual and inhaled long and hard. Talking about my father always made me jittery.

'What's there to tell? My Dad goes off sometimes on his own. He likes huntin' and they're jus' makin' a big deal 'bout nothin'. They jus' pissed probably 'cos he owes them some money. He'll be back sooner or later.'

His eyes narrowed like he was processing all of this and I could tell that he wasn't fully convinced. But he decided not to press it.

'So, who's this Merle then?'

I laughed. 'Why? Ya jealous?' It was the first time I clearly showed him some interest. I just had to see if he would reciprocate and if the vibes I got from him and the way he looked at me were anything to go by...

He laughed then, deep rumbles coming from his chest.

'I sure am, baby.' He let a finger trail down my cheek to just lightly brush my lips, making me close my eyes and shiver. My skin was burning with a trail of fire where he touched me and I wanted more.

Much more.

Nevertheless, I jerked away. I didn't want to make things too easy for him. Make him work for me a little.

'Well, ya don't need to be.' Another lie. 'Merle's my brother.'

'Thought as much.'

I laughed then at my own private joke. If he only knew...

There was a pause while I waited for him to kiss me with my eyes closed and face upturned hopefully in his direction.

But nothing came, making me feel stupid. Why didn't he? He was clearly interested.

He laughed again and I opened my eyes.

'Well, where's your brother now? I guess he's older than you?'

'Yeah.' No doubt, he didn't miss how I only answered one of the questions.

'So, ya tellin' me that soon I'll have ya Dad and your big brother to deal with, huh? They anythin' like you?'

'Depends if ya stick around long enough to find out.' I didn't know exactly what I was suggesting by that or what he was hinting at but it didn't really matter. Still, I wasn't exactly happy that he'd heard about my family like that and that I had to lie about them. Better to say nothing – the least said, the better.

Had he heard that I was only 17? I prayed not because while he'd been holding me like that, my attraction to him had grown deeper.

Jamie's laugh was contagious and despite my embarrassment, I soon joined in and we would've stayed there longer if not for Marty coming out with a frown and patting my back to announce that the cops were there checking ID's and I had to get myself gone. Typical.

In the corner of my eye through the small gap in the door I saw the same fucking cop that had dragged my sorry ass home that day my whole life went from just shit to pure hell.

I fought down the urge to aim a bottle in his direction and hopefully split his head open but decided against it. Not just for obvious reasons but also because I had always liked Marty and didn't want to get him and his bar in trouble. Jamie gave me a curious look but didn't get to say anything else before I bolted and was out of the door like a gunshot.

I didn't get very far before those strong arms were back around me from behind. Of course, I'd deliberately let him catch up with me.

'Hey, where d'ya think you're goin'?'

I was just on the verge of replying when he whirled me around and crushed his lips against mine. His hand fisted the back of my jacket as my thumbs found their way through his belt hoops and I pressed myself against him.

'Hold up, how old are ya exactly?'

I looked up at him and decided to take my chances. After all, I hadn't been too young for my own brother. Or my teacher.

Or my own fucking father for that matter.

'19.'

'Don't lie to me, sweetheart.' He pecked me on the lips. 'I was there, remember? Ya only 17. A.K.A. Jail Bait.'

'Fuck! Why does it matter how old I am?' I hissed. 'Don't I get to have any fuckin' fun around here?' He'd only kissed me, hadn't touched me like I badly wanted him to. Not even copped an 'accidental' feel.

He kissed me gently before he released me. 'Jus' had to steal a kiss, is all. I couldn't resist.'

'Well, then, if ya can't resist me...' I wound my arms around his neck and kissed him deeper as I reached down to slide one hand seductively under his shirt but he took my hand away gently and pointedly moved away.

'Like I said, sweet jail bait by any other name. Be seein' ya around, baby.' He blew me a kiss as he strode off for the carpark.

'Ya promise?' I called after him but only when he was out of earshot. I had been on the verge of asking him for his telephone number before he left but thought better of it. After all, I didn't want to seem desperate and no doubt, I'd see him around, back at Marty's at least.

Jamie

I couldn't get that alluring boy out of my head as I found my car and got in. I don't know why – but he really got to me. Of course, I knew he must be underage even before I overhead their conversation and was frankly surprised that he was 17. The kid looked more like 15, maybe 16 at a stretch. A stab of guilt hit me when I flirtily touched his hand to test the waters even before I found out his true age. Still, it hadn't been enough to stop me.

He'd got uncomfortable then and I'd immediately backed off. Yet I had restrained him in front of those two old drunks because I wanted to hear more about him and his family. Of course, I would have intervened if things got out of hand but the whole time, I held him to me there; I was turned on by how he alternatively leaned back into me and struggled to free himself at the same time.

I had done it as a kind of experiment although I would have immediately let him go if I felt that he had really wanted me to. Besides, I was pretty sure he could have made me if he believed I was a genuine threat. Then kissing him …that had been such a sweet, forbidden thrill…

But I would have to wait. Shouldn't have done even that but I couldn't stop myself. Not when he clearly wanted me to.

What made him so irresistible though, was that he wasn't just a pretty face. Spikily assertive and tough as nails on the outside but oh-so vulnerable in the core. His trembling in my arms contrasted with his no-nonsense assertiveness told me a lot about his past.

For example, how he turned on that obedient little boy act to pacify me like it was his only recourse when he was scared? Who had trained or forced him to do that? Of course, while that made me feel sick to my stomach for him, I couldn't deny that it didn't get me going…

He had that look of fragility – of being easily startled and always on the alert for threats although very fleeting before he instantly masked it. He felt everything and felt it far too much because he hadn't had it easy. That much was clear.

And that absent father of his? Sounded like a waste-of-space, plus possibly abusive, so no big loss there. One obstacle removed and I hoped he never came back. Especially when I could tell Daryl wasn't sad that he was gone, no sign of grief at all.

No, I sensed he was in fact relieved.

I had to forget him and focus on others instead.

I would have to try and put him out of my mind because touching a minor was wrong. How could I have sunk so low? Yet I hoped he would still want me if our paths ever crossed again and he was older.

But I wasn't planning on it.

I couldn't afford to.

No, I had to put that beautiful boy out of my mind.

Because when it came down to it, we'd just been two fleeting trains passing each other in the night.

Barely a horn of greeting had been exchanged.

Daryl

I went to Marty's the next night, and the next and the next one after that for the next whole fortnight, trying not to seem like I was looking for someone in particular. But he never turned up.

'He's gone, Daryl.' Marty, sharp-eyed as ever, noticed what I was doing. 'Stop lookin' for him.'

'Do ya know where? Is he comin' back?' I asked eagerly.

'I don't know but if I was you, I would forget about him. Too old for ya, anyway.'

'Yeah. That's what he said.' I muttered gloomily before I turned and got up to leave.

'Hey, before you go, do you need more dough?'

I waved him away with a smile. 'I'm OK for a while but thanks, Marty.'

'Night then. Be careful.'

'Night, Marty.'