Author's Note:
Fashionably late posting today but you know - 'tis the season, and I haven't been anywhere near a computer for most of the day so... Here goes :)
NOTE: This is the last chapter of 2018, as I will be taking a short break next week to get back on track with my chapters, which are coming on exceptionably slow right now - and, of course, to spend some time with my family :) Christmas cheer and all that.
And seeing as this is the last chapter of 2018, I'm ending the year on a grand note by introducing an entire chapter featuring a brand new POV: Tinker's
Hope you enjoy it and thank you all so much for reading and all the wonderful feedback on my story! I'm looking very much forward to continuing with it in 2019, starting on January 4th :)
Merry Christmas and happy New Year, everyone!
Tinker
The forest had plenty of food to offer now that the greenery had begun to return with renewed vigour, and Tinker was happy to note how the woven baskets they all brought on this trip were more than halfway full at this point. The last couple of months had been meagre and due to the fact that this had been the apes' first winter at their new location, they had only just begun to figure out exactly where the best places for foraging were at this point.
But about a month and a half ago, around the time Cedar and her flock had come crawling back to the colony, the trees and bushes and ferns had begun their regrowth, steadily returning the forest to the glory of spring and summer.
Ash had always loved this time of year, when everything was new, and the sun's warm rays would bring life to the forest and all its inhabitants.
A lump formed in the female chimp's throat at the thought of her deceased son, murdered by someone they had all trusted and respected. Even if it had almost been a full year, it still sparked a vicious flame of rage inside her chest just thinking about it.
And she knew that, had she actually been there when it had happened, Koba would've been dead before Caesar, Rocket, or anyone else would have ever gotten a hold of him.
The loss of her son back then had hurt Tinker like nothing else ever had and in the aftermath, she had fallen into a state of depression, angry with the world that had taken her beautiful child from her.
And resentful of those who still applauded Koba's actions… Who still thought he was right, even with everything that had happened since then.
Even if they had seen what he was willing to do to his own kind.
Tinker was convinced that had it not been for the fact that she'd had Rocket to shoulder her sorrow, she would have remained in that state even now. Many thought him gruff and simple, but Tinker knew there was so much more to her mate than that, at least when he was with her. When alone with Tinker, he was thoughtful, kind and gentle, wiping away her tears and holding her close when thoughts of Ash's death crept into her mind.
Goodness, how she missed her little boy terribly – and her husband as well these days.
Truthfully, Tinker had feared that she would finally crumble back when it had first been announced that Rocket would go on this journey to find their new home. In the privacy of their home, she had protested vehemently, arguing that he couldn't leave her now when she needed him the most.
"It is not just you, Tinker, but all the apes who need me." He had signed solemnly back then, his dark features apologetic and pained all at once. "There is no one better suited for this task. You know this too."
She had wept, opposed and denied, even if she had known that what her mate had said was true. Rocket had been so patient with her then, facing her distress with calmness and giving his wife the space she had needed until she had been able to calm down.
And once she managed to do that, Tinker had been able to admit that he was right. There really was no one better suited.
Caesar couldn't go – he was the colony's leader and had to manage the battle with the soldiers. Maurice, while being the smartest ape in all of the colony, wasn't exactly the one best suited for long, physically straining journeys, and besides, his brilliant mind was needed here. Luca couldn't go either, as he was the commander of the Gorilla Guard and therefore needed to manage the colony's defences. Then there was Lydia, of course, and Tinker had no doubt that the dark-haired woman would probably have gone if it wasn't for Caesar specifically asking her to stay to perform other duties. She would most likely have done well on such a journey, Tinker had mused, seeing as the human woman had undertaken something quite similar once before. But her hunting had become a crucial backup for the colony to rely on, and her responsibilities had only mounted since Malcolm and his group had happened upon Ash, Blue Eyes and Orion that fateful day almost a full year ago.
Then there was Tinker herself, and while the female chimp had no doubt she could handle such a journey, she knew that she, as the only she-ape on the council and Cornelia's closest friend, had to take on the task of leading the colony's females.
Even so, she still hadn't gotten completely used to the thought of being all alone by the time Rocket had left with the two younger apes. Truth be told, she probably never would.
"You and Lydia should take comfort in each other, then." Rocket had said the evening before the departure. "She is a good friend and your situations are very similar."
And so, Tinker had taken her mate up on his advice.
It had helped immensely with easing the loneliness she had felt since Rocket's departure. Lydia, together with Cornelia, had been one of Tinker's closest friends for years now, and these last ten months had only strengthened that bond. Lydia understood what it was like. She was as alone as Tinker was with this sadness and longing. With the pain of losing one and saying goodbye to the other for goodness knows how long.
Which was why Tinker had felt that much more betrayed when Lydia had voted for letting Cedar, Cornelia's constant adversary back when she had been alive, stay in the colony. Truthfully, it had felt like a punch in the gut at first, seeing as Lydia knew of her friend's history with this traitorous she-ape as well as Cedar's overall problems with her attitude and lack of respect for authorities.
Deep down, however, Tinker knew that it had been the right thing to do, even if she strongly opposed it to this day. Cedar's crime was no greater or any more severe than any of the other females' deeds. A group needed a lead female, after all, and seeing as Grey had led this band of apes as they had left the colony, Cedar had been the obvious choice.
And Cornelia would have let her stay too, I'm sure, Tinker thought. Her dear, late friend had always been better at seeing the bigger picture. Better at setting her personal feelings aside when strife had occasionally occurred in the Ape Village.
It was one of the reasons why Tinker felt quite inadequate acting as the lead female in her friend's absence. Most commended her for doing a good job, actually, praising her ability to diffuse conflicts among her charges and the ease with which she handpicked groups of females to perform the different tasks that needed completing around the colony.
She was good at that. Knew she was and took pride in it, as many said she should.
But in situations like this, she just couldn't put aside her dislike for Cedar. She just couldn't leave her personal feelings out of it and at least try to look at the situation objectively. As she should have done.
There was too much history between them. Too much animosity.
Just too much bad and not enough good for Tinker to see the bigger picture and help Caesar judge fairly.
She shook her head at herself as she sighed, her shoulders slumping with the action. She should probably be glad that the likes of Lydia and Maurice were also on the Royal Ape Council in situations like this to counter such ill-willed inputs as the one she gave that day. She still didn't like the fact that Cedar had been allowed to stay, even now, and she knew very well that several of the other apes in the colony agreed with her on this matter… But even so, Tinker accepted the decision, knowing that it was only fair that those who had committed the exact same crime received equal punishment.
That still didn't mean she had to like it, though… Because Tinker most definitely did not.
Just then, a group of females Tinker had sent out to forage returned to their rendezvous spot at the forest's edge and she nodded at them in recognition as she made eye-contact before signing to them that they could take a break as they waited for the remaining groups to return as well.
And as if the mere thought of her had managed to summon her, it just so happened to be that this was the group Cedar had been assigned… Or rather, they had been assigned to keep an eye on Cedar, as well as a few other deserters.
She, as was her custom nowadays, maintained a few feet's distance to her… well, babysitters, as it were, and Tinker couldn't quite tell if it was because she was being kept out by them or if it was the other way around.
She seemed out of place. Both her and those who had followed her lead.
But when Cedar spotted Tinker, she swiftly turned on her heel and began walking in a beeline towards Tinker, head held high and with an air of superiority about her as she reached her destination. It made a sense of silent dread swell in Tinker's chest and she tried to school her features as the other chimp got nearer, though she knew she didn't quite manage to ease the tension in her posture as Cedar came to a stop in front of her, a bored frown on her face.
"I have finished picking roots with the others as you asked." She signed indifferently, though Tinker could tell that the she-ape in front of her struggled with her next sentence. "What else am I to do?"
"You can find someone to escort you back to the colony." Tinker answered curtly, doing her best to keep the interaction as brief and neutral as possible. Normally, they would wait until everyone had returned before going back to the colony – but Tinker knew that Cedar was much too impatient for that, and decided that it might be prudent to have her do something else in the meantime. "I'm sure there are kills from today's hunt that needs to be gutted and skinned."
The female chimp in front of her continued to frown all the same, looking quite unimpressed by Tinker's words.
"I don't need to be looked after every moment like a child. The colony isn't far from here and I'm quite capable of walking there myself without causing trouble for you."
Here we go again, Tinker thought as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes in exasperation. In spite of the supposed horrors Cedar had endured in her time away from the colony, the she-ape had managed to maintain her defiant, hissy attitude. In fact, as soon as the dust had settled after her group's arrival, she had gone straight back to her old habits of complaining, nagging and especially low-key opposing the female in charge – meaning Tinker herself, now that Cornelia was gone.
Tinker did a sigh as she regarded the other female chimp, steeling herself for yet another discussion.
"I don't care how close or far away the colony is. Caesar has decided to have you watched and you know exactly why. I am not going to go against his orders."
"Humph. No wonder how you ended up with Rocket. You're both blind to any fault in Caesar's leadership." Cedar scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest once she was done signing, her lips pouty and her stare still unimpressed.
Tinker felt her hackles begin to raise ever so slightly at the mention of her mate. The blatant critique of both him and Caesar. How dare she? Especially after having practically crawled back to them, begging to be let back into the safety of the colony!?
Tinker did her best to remain calm, however. Snide remarks were nothing unusual from Cedar and the lead female should really have been expecting it by now. This she-ape could never just follow an order without complaint, nor leave well enough alone when the situation called for it. She always had to have the last word, no matter the discussion and no matter if she was right or not.
But this time Cedar, perhaps catching on to Tinker's already mounting irritation, chose to take it a step further.
And what a step it was…
"A shame he did not accept me when he had the chance. I could have given him strong children, capable of defending themselves." Cedar signed with a slight, but no less malicious smirk on her face all of a sudden, challenge clear in her green eyes.
It was true that back at San Bruno all those years ago, Cedar had indeed been vying for Rocket's attention, trying with all her might to gain his favour and become his favourite. It had been back when the apes had not chosen a single mate to stay with, but rather had one male divide his attention among several females – and yet Rocket had never as much as looked Cedar's way back then, choosing Tinker over everyone else, much to the opposing she-ape's aggravation.
It was how the animosity between the two had started, though Tinker had never before given in to Cedar's games and low blows. Not that she wasn't quite capable of delivering the same sort of scorching remarks and acidy looks as the other female was – she had just never felt the need to lower herself to that level.
Not until now, that is. Tinker had just had enough right about now. The reference to their old rivalry, if one could call it that, was bad enough, but her so brashly implying that Ash had been a weak child was the last straw after many months of her little tantrums and backtalk.
"And how many children were you able to give Grey in all your years together? Please remind me." Tinker shot back with a raised brow in turn, Cedar's attitude and obvious challenges to Tinker's authority only fuelling the fire of her retaliation.
The opposing female looked slightly taken aback at first, clearly not expecting Tinker to react like this and especially with a comment so scathing.
But once the initial shock had passed, an indignant look took over Cedar's features, and her eyes flashed with anger at her long-time rival.
"That is a matter between Grey and I. Besides, my point is that it could have been different with Rocket, had he not been so blinded with how… manageable you are. He did always like the meek ones the best." She countered, and the lead female noticed how her opposer's hands clenched ever so slightly at her sides once she finished signing.
Tinker herself resisted the urge to bark out a mock-laugh at Cedar's poor attempt at a jab. Anyone who knew her was aware of the fact that, while she did have a gentle and compliant personality in general, Tinker was by no means meek, shy or indeed manageable, as Cedar had put it. She had clearly just needed to throw something to make Tinker feel inferior, as well as put forth her own traits of defiance and crassness as something desirable.
"It would never have been. My mate tolerated you, no more than that. And you never loved him, Cedar – you loved his position. His power. And had Caesar not already had his eyes firmly set on Cornelia when he took over Rocket's position, you would have thrown yourself at his feet as well for the chance to feel important!" Came Tinker's reply, acidy and on-point as she noticed how Cedar's fur began to bristle further and further with every word the lead-female signed.
Tinker was clearly hitting a sore spot and felt a tinge of satisfaction at the fact in spite of how a small voice inside her mind continued to insist that she shouldn't stoop to Cedar's level. That she should not succumb to the urge to retaliate. That she should instead make an effort to show how she was clearly better than that.
But the way her long-time adversary's face contorted in distaste and poorly-hidden offence was just too pleasing right now.
"Careful now, Tinker, you know nothing about my motivations! Besides, love is not necessary to be a great leading pair. Decisiveness and strength is. And I still made for a far greater lead female than both you and Cornelia!"
Tinker immediately noticed how Cedar didn't rush to deny anything else she had said, and now it was her turn to give an unimpressed stare.
"I see. Was it your decisiveness and strength that made the females in your group refuse to follow you? To lose faith in your ability to lead?" Tinker jabbed, just as riled up as Cedar by now, and that little, reasonable voice inside her mind completely drowned out.
What was it Lydia always called it when women disagreed strongly like this? A catfight?
Yes, that was the term – and this discussion was turning into a catfight very quickly by now.
"And you are in no position to criticize my leadership or Cornelia's, when you yourself have admitted to everyone here just how poorly you handled the responsibility yourself." The lead female added, her nose wrinkling in distaste at her opposer.
And even more so once she saw Cedar's signed reply.
Or rather, the poor attempt at defending her failure.
"If only they hadn't refused to be led, it would never have come to that!" Cedar signed angrily. Indignantly. As if her now dead charges had been errant children or stubborn horses who had refused to yield to her commands.
As if Cedar and her indecisive, passive leadership had had nothing to do with it. Had not made them lose faith in her.
Oh, Tinker had overheard plenty of talk from the other females from Cedar's group – if for nothing else than to try and subtly confirm if their stories about the massacre matched up or not, which they actually did, to Tinker's surprise. But besides the descriptions of the terrible attack, one thing everyone kept talking about was how Cedar had seemed insecure and doubtful whenever a decision had had to be made. Oh, she would act high and mighty and order everyone around as she saw fit, alright, but whenever it had become time to make an important decision, many had discussed how Cedar had seemed almost afraid of the prospect of making them.
Which was why Tinker now had to scoff and roll her green eyes at Cedar's words.
"If you had had the courage to lead them in the first place, and yet I'm told it was not exactly the strength and decisiveness that you talk about which you showed in your brief time as queen."
By this point, Cedar's ears were as red as the tomatoes the apes used to harvest from the garden back at the old village, and her face was contorted into an angry grimace which Tinker could easily see that she was desperately trying to mask with a look of indifference.
It didn't work at all.
"You know nothing of that time and you have no right to criticize me! Look at yourself, you're not even a real queen, your child is dead, and your mate probably is too because you let him leave on Caesar's orders! Everything you've ever lost, you've lost because of Caesar, not Koba, or Grey or me."
At that, Tinker's posture stiffened, and her lips tightened, rage welling up inside her chest.
The nerve of this she-ape!
"You are wrong." Tinker replied, her green eyes suddenly narrowing dangerously at Cedar, which seemed to catch her off-guard as she took a step backwards. "It was not Caesar who threw my son to his death. It was Koba. And you supported Koba. Supported what he did to my son and all other apes who did not agree with him. Supported an ape who killed apes."
Tinker knew her hackles were raised considerably by now. She also knew that her eyes were piercing, and her upper lip was pulled back ever so slightly, showing Cedar just a hint of her formidable canines to warn her that she meant business by now. To tell her that she had crossed a line and that if she didn't back off soon, if she continued to aggravate Tinker, mere words would not be her only consequence.
"And I know plenty of that time from others. I know that you failed as a lead female." Tinker signed further, wanting to make it clear to Cedar what she thought of her once and for all. "That you are a false queen who failed to protect her group, and now you must deal with the consequences."
It had been Tinker's intention to end the exchange here, but Cedar, true to her nature, even when faced with an enraged and clearly superior female in front of her, still had to have the last word. Like in any other conversation she had ever had with anyone.
"You failed to protect your own child. Your own blood. I would say that's far worse." Cedar retaliated, though she had clearly lost some of her previous bite after Tinker's demeanour had changed.
She still seemed determined to defend herself and her actions from the past, but now looked unsure and reluctantly submissive in the face of Tinker's quiet, seething rage.
Adding to that, she visibly flinched at the lead female's next words as well, and Tinker felt another small surge of satisfaction go through her chest at the sight, knowing for a fact that she had the upper hand in this little battle of theirs.
"At least my son died with his dignity intact, staying loyal to our true leaders and daring to speak against Koba's actions, which is more than anyone can say about Grey." Tinker countered, going along and continuing their back-and-forth of low blows quite effortlessly – more so than she had ever thought herself capable of, really, which was beginning to leave a bad taste in her mouth.
Just then, as Cedar's upper lip began to pull back to reveal her canines in a display of aggression towards her superior, a low, warning rumble sounded, and both she-apes quickly whipped their heads around to look for the source of the sound, coming face-to-face with Maurice.
"Forgive my interruption, I could not help but notice the... tension, as I approached… Is there a problem with our newly returned colony member, Tinker?" The elder orangutan asked pleasantly, though the look in his eyes as they regarded her told Tinker that he had witnessed most of the exchange by now, if not the entirety of it.
But at this point, though she immediately calmed down at the sight of her fellow council member, Tinker really didn't care that he had seen it.
And what was more, part of her wanted to answer the orangutan's question in the affirmative just then, especially when she saw how Cedar visibly blanched when she realised what this little scene she had triggered might mean for her continued stay in the colony.
She did promise not to cause trouble, after all.
It was one thing for Tinker to run to Caesar and tell how she acted – it was a well-known fact that the two didn't like each other.
But if both Tinker and Maurice reported on how she had acted, especially with how she had so blatantly disrespected and even defied Tinker when she had given her word not to do so in front of the entire colony, Cedar was sure to be thrown out immediately, lone female or not.
Tinker knew this very well too. Knew that she had a chance to get rid of Cedar for good and get back at her for everything that had ever happened between them to boot. Especially for her critique of Rocket and Ash just now.
It would've been so easy to just answer in the affirmative, have Cedar disappear from her life and never again as much as think about the she-ape or of what could potentially happen to her alone out in the forest. Out of sight, out of mind.
But a little voice inside of Tinker, the same voice that had continuously told her not to give in to Cedar's taunts and lower herself to her level, reminded Tinker that doing just that would make her no better than the opposing female in front of her. Or Koba, or Red…
Apes who didn't care. Apes who just got rid of those who happened to oppose them, by any means necessary…
Tinker drew in a deep breath before answering, noting in the process how Cedar flinched once more, most likely expecting her old rival to finally take her chance to get rid of her for good.
"Not at all, Maurice. I was merely explaining a few things to her, that's all. She's going to find a female now to escort her back to the colony." Tinker signed as amicably as she could muster right now, as rage at Cedar's words from before still flowed through her veins.
Cedar looked at her like she couldn't believe what she had just said. Couldn't believe that Tinker would pass up an opportunity like that when she herself would have jumped at it headfirst. There was little to no gratitude to be found on her face, however. Only confusion, followed quickly by embarrassment as Tinker eyed her warningly when she didn't leave immediately, and Cedar began skulking back towards her foraging group, shoulders hunched and steps quick as she left at last.
The two council members stared at her retreating form before Maurice turned to Tinker with a raised brow, obviously expecting some sort of explanation. He knew better than most how the two females loathed each other
Tinker merely shook her head at her old friend, silently telling him that she didn't want to discuss it right now – if ever.
She patted him on his shoulder as she walked past, bidding him goodbye as she prepared to lead all the females back, seeing as everyone had returned by now and were waiting for her to hand out more tasks.
Maurice hooted at her before she got that far and Tinker, polite as ever, turned around to face him, only to be met with a searching expression on his dark features.
"Are you alright?" He asked concernedly in sign, arms heavy and the hairs on them swaying with every subtle movement.
A lump formed in Tinker's throat, but she managed to smile softly at her old friend.
"I am fine, Maurice." She replied before turning her back to him once more and completely missing the doubtful look in the wise ape's eyes as he silently regarded her.
Later, as Tinker was sitting in her cave, preparing to go to sleep after such a long, trying day, it became apparent that she had in fact lied to Maurice.
She was most definitely not fine.
While she had become used to Cedar's snide remarks and low verbal blows over the years they had known each other, and even more so during this last month and a half that she had been back in the colony, today's quarrel had been worse than any other that had ever occurred between the two.
And as opposed to all the arguments the two females had had in the past, this time, Cedar had managed to get under Tinker's skin.
Her comments about Ash and the way he was killed. How she had said it was Tinker's fault for not protecting him. That she had let her own son die…
Tinker knew it wasn't true. She had been in the forest with the other females at the time, just as scared and confused as everyone else, and hadn't had any way of knowing what had even happened.
But even so, as a mother, such an accusation was bound to hurt. It reopened deep wounds that had barely managed to heal enough for Tinker not to cry herself to sleep every other night and stung worse than any jab that awful human back at San Bruno had delivered with that horrible device he had always carried to torment the apes.
And then there was the subject of Rocket, and Cedar's words about him probably being dead by now, a possibility Tinker knew existed, but hadn't dared to dwell on.
But now, after today's argument with Cedar, the thought just wouldn't leave her. She sat in her nest, as she had done for the past hour or so, thinking about it. Her shoulders were slumped and her usually vibrant and mischievous, green eyes staring dully at the flickering flame of the torch fixed to her cave wall.
What if Cedar was right? What if Rocket was actually gone too, like Ash? Was she the only one left now? The sole survivor of her little family, destined to face the rest of her days alone?
Tears welled up in her eyes and her bottom lip quivered as she clenched her fists in her lap.
It wasn't true… It just couldn't be! She knew what her mate was capable of, and what was more, he had promised to return to her. He had given her his word and Rocket always kept his word.
Always…
Just then, before Tinker managed to wipe her tears away and school her features, she heard the tell-tale sound of booted footsteps that told her Lydia was approaching her part of the caves.
The human woman pulled aside the skins acting as a makeshift door, already in the middle of a inquisitive request before stopping dead in her tracks once her eyes landed on her best friend.
"Hey Tinker, sorry to bother you this late, but I was wondering if you could help me with-…"
It was clear what she was going to say and despite her current state of doubt and distress, Tinker almost cracked a smile at the sight of Lydia standing there, holding her brush in hand and with her long, dark hair loose from its braid and dishevelled around her head.
"What happened?" Her human friend asked immediately, serious all of a sudden, and ready as always to spring into action when she sensed something was amiss.
She was beside Tinker in less than a second, taking just two steps with her long legs before she dropped down unceremoniously in Tinker's softly padded nest, her deep, blue eyes fixed on the female chimp, looking for answers.
Tinker was slightly taken aback by Lydia's forwardness, even though she honestly should've been expecting it by now. They had known each other for years, after all, and Lydia's eagerness to help those she cared about was all too familiar to Tinker by now.
The small female chimp shook her head and waved her hand dismissively, though she knew that Lydia would persist until she got an answer – the human woman was nothing if not stubborn.
And sure enough, her friend crossed her arms over her chest, pursing her lips as she stared expectantly at the she-ape in front of her.
"Tinker…" Lydia said impatiently, sounding very much like a mother prying for answers after her child had caused mischief.
It had been a very, very long time since anyone had ever made Tinker feel like that.
The female chimp sighed and reached up to rub her arm as she avoided eye contact with the human beside her.
"I had another… dispute with Cedar this afternoon… An ugly one." She finally signed in a subdued manner, hoping Lydia would realise that she wasn't keen on discussing it just yet and hopefully have her change the subject to make Tinker feel better.
She did not, however, and the ape found herself resisting the urge to groan in a frustrated manner at her friend's persistence.
"About…?" Lydia urged further, leaning forward and staring ever more intently at Tinker's face, and the chimp found herself compelled to elaborate under her friend's continued scrutiny. There was just something about the way Lydia stared at her… The way her eyes were kind and firm all at once.
As a mother's eyes should be. As a friend's eyes should be.
And then, as she stared into the searching eyes of her best friend, the kindest, most fiercely loyal human Tinker had ever met, she knew it was no use trying to avoid telling her what was wrong. If anyone here knew exactly what Tinker was going through, her worries and her fears for her loved ones and the pain she carried because of it, it was Lydia.
And so, she began signing, telling her friend everything that had happened and described today's exchange in great detail as a lump began forming in her throat and tears started glistening in her bright green eyes.
After that, it didn't take long before she felt Lydia's arm wrap comfortingly around her shoulders and saw a look of empathy on the human woman's face once the female chimp managed to lift her gaze and look her in the eyes once more.
A look of empathy… and guilt.
"Tinker, I'm so sorry for this. It's all my fault for suggesting she should stay in the first place…" Lydia spoke once Tinker had finished signing, her hands dropping heavily into her lap immediately afterwards.
Tinker shook her head at her dear friend. While she had felt betrayed by Lydia after she had said that she thought Cedar should be allowed to stay, she would never dream of blaming Lydia for incidents like the one that had happened today. Never.
"It isn't your fault at all. You made fair points while I let my animosity towards her affect my counsel." She answered reassuringly, the tears now beginning to dry on her cheeks.
Lydia sighed, biting her bottom lip in thought.
"I know you don't blame me, Tinker. But I do… You're my best friend and it pisses me off that you're subjected to this because of a decision I helped making…"
"We all took part in making this decision. If you are to blame, then Caesar, Maurice and Luca are as well, and I don't want that. We're on the Royal Ape Council, Lydia, which means that sometimes, we will have to make decisions that we don't like. We cannot avoid it. We have to judge everyone fairly, and you did that better than I that day." The female chimp reasoned, though she gave her friend's hand a quick squeeze after she had finished signing.
It didn't seem to ease Lydia's guilt, as she still wore a slight frown on her pale features.
"Still, you shouldn't have to put up with this… It's not right, Tinker." The human woman countered quietly, looking quite disheartened.
"Few things are in these times, Lydia…" Tinker sighed tiredly, feeling old beyond her years all of a sudden. Then, she reached over to lay a reassuring hand on the human woman's, which rested atop her clothed knee. "It's just that… Sometimes, I really do wish we did not have to be the ones to do the right thing…"
Lydia nodded in understanding and squeezed Tinker's shoulder after a brief moment of silence, biting her bottom lip once more as she thought on those words.
"Yeah… Me too, Tinker…" She said at last as the she-ape leant against her side, and the human woman put her head on top of Tinker's, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. "Me too…"
