Lydia
In the following months after that first night she and Caesar had shared in the cave, Lydia felt as if she was balancing on a knife's edge, wobbling between feelings of blissful, all-consuming love and dreaded anxiety on a daily basis.
It was the strangest state of mind, really.
On one hand, she felt almost giddy with excitement at finally being able to give in to the feelings she had nurtured for him for so long, relishing in the love they shared with one another and how very natural it felt to be with the Ape King.
The fact that the nights they spent together often led to passionate lovemaking didn't hurt either, but mainly, Lydia was just happy to finally be able to let go of her grief and give in to her heart's desire. To let herself love again.
On the other hand, though, it wasn't as easy as either of them would have liked.
They still had to keep their relationship a secret to the colony, so as to keep a semblance of stability and order. In a time with so many changes and so much uncertainty, it wouldn't do for Caesar to suddenly announce that he had taken a human as his new mate. Sure, Lydia was well-liked among the apes and now held a position of power by being on the Royal Ape Council, but Caesar didn't want to push the goodwill of his people too far.
It was a strain on their relationship, having to hide it like they did and limiting their interaction to stolen moments of passion away from the colony and its potentially prying eyes.
Good thing that either of them getting up and wandering off during the night had never been an uncommon occurrence, even long before the apes' lives had been turned on its head. It was a well-known fact that Lydia sometimes had problems sleeping – even more so nowadays – and so, the Gorilla Guard on patrol at night usually just nodded at her in acknowledgement if she happened upon them on her nightly walks, letting her wander as she pleased, unsupervised.
It was much the same story with Caesar, who often brought Cornelius to sleep with Tinker now if the he found himself unable to get some rest. The ape child wasn't even woken by the rustle anymore.
And naturally, nobody questioned the comings and goings of the Ape King.
Lydia sighed, running her fingers absent-mindedly through the fur on Cornelius' back as she sat in front of the cookfire together with Tinker and Maurice.
She hadn't told either of them what was going on between her and their leader. Hadn't known if she even should. She hadn't discussed doing so with Caesar yet and besides, she wasn't even sure how or when she would bring it up anyway, or if it would even be appropriate.
What am I even supposed to say? Lydia pondered as Cornelius gibbered merrily whilst sitting in her lap, toying with her long, slender fingers.
Hey, Maurice and Tinker, you know how I sometimes can't sleep at night? Yeah, I found the perfect alternative in shagging Caesar. The human woman continued her train of thought, imagining the mortifyingly humorous scenario inside her mind.
She almost immediately had to resist the urge to grimace at her own tactless thoughts. Surely, she could come up with a better way to handle it?
It's not like now is the right time to speak about it anyway… or the right place, for that matter. She decided, returning her mind to the conversation at hand instead and finally paying attention to what was going on around her once more.
They were in the main cave, quietly discussing matters of concern as the fighting apes began to come home from the forest.
Caesar himself had yet to return.
"It's strange that they haven't struck yet. It has been months." Tinker commented with a soft, worried frown on her delicate face, looking at Maurice as if he might hold the answer. "If what Cedar and her group said was true, then surely Red must have told the soldiers where we are by now?"
The large orangutan heaved a deep sigh and shook his large head, his cheek flaps swaying as he did so.
"I don't know, Tinker." He signed with heavy movements. "I do believe Cedar and the other females' story to be true. You saw how frightened the children in the group were… But as you say, it's odd that Red has not directed the soldiers to the colony yet if that's the case. Surely he would gain the favour of the Colonel from this?"
The female chimp's lips formed a thin line as a nervous look came upon her face. It was always unnerving when even Maurice was uncertain about such a grave matter.
"Or he would cease to be useful to them." Lydia pointed out, finally catching up with the subject of the conversation. "No doubt the Colonel and his soldiers are aware of how well the apes know this forest and want to use it to their advantage. As long as they still need to find us, it'll be worth it for them to keep Red and his apes alive."
The apes in front of her pondered on this with uncertain expressions on their faces before Maurice nodded at Lydia's theory. It was honestly the only plausible reason Lydia could think of by now, after months of them expecting an ambush that never seemed to come.
And the time that had passed, still more and more soldiers and apes had gotten injured or killed when the two factions had clashed in the forest, and Lydia couldn't for the life of her imagine why the humans would continue to let that happen if they already knew the apes' location.
So she had, in her own mind, come to the conclusion that Red and his apes were biding their time, keeping themselves alive by keeping the valuable knowledge they possessed to themselves for as long as possible.
But the human woman did not entertain any illusions about Red and his follower's compassion for their own species. According to Cedar's group, these traitors had killed apes before, and Lydia wouldn't put it past them to do it again.
"That is probably true, though I wonder how long they would be able to keep that sort of scheme up before the Colonel will demand results in exchange for their lives. So far they have shown little mercy for apes." Maurice said with a concerned frown on his dark face.
Lydia could only shrug at that as the Ape Prince in her lap began to hoot and pull excitedly at her fingers, prompting Lydia to lift her gaze and direct it towards the cave's entrance as the barest hint of excitement and relief filled her heart.
And sure enough, it was Caesar who had just entered the large cave, hauling himself up onto the plateau behind the waterfall with Luca and Spear in tow.
She couldn't help but note how tired he looked, though she knew that this time, at least, it wasn't her fault. They hadn't been down in their secret cave for the past four nights.
Maybe that's actually the reason, Lydia wondered as he approached, doing her best to school her features so that the smile she shot at the Ape King didn't seem too… friendly.
Goodness knew she wanted to get up and go to him. Lay her arms around him… To greet him with a loving embrace and to bury her nose into his shoulder, breathing in his now familiar, musky scent.
She barely managed to keep from shaking her head at herself as the thought passed through her mind. Perhaps later, she would be able to do so. In the night, in their cave, where no one would witness it.
But not now and definitely not here.
How many times have those words gone through my mind this week alone? The human woman pondered further, nodding in greeting at the three apes as they came to sit down with her, Maurice and Tinker by the fire.
"Father! Father!" The ape child in Lydia's arms signed enthusiastically with clumsy hands, though he refused to let go of Lydia when Caesar came over to greet his son, choosing instead to reach out and grab his parent's hand, nuzzling his face into its hairy back.
Lydia couldn't help but smile fondly at the child and shoot a brief, knowing look at Tinker, with whom she now shared the responsibility of raising Cornelius in his mother's absence. The human had to admit she thought they were doing a pretty decent job at it, given the circumstances. The child was, as a one-year-old, already beginning to do basic signing, which Lydia especially found quite impressive.
When Orion had been that age, back when Lydia had found him, he had barely been able to sign a single word despite having a mother already capable of sign language. Then again, at that point nobody had actually taught Orion in the way Lydia would do after she had adopted him, and especially not in the structured, purposeful way Maurice was teaching the ape children in the colony.
"How many injured today?" Maurice asked seriously once Caesar had had time to properly greet his young son, worry evident in his wise, green gaze.
Though a frown appeared on his rugged face, Caesar shook his head as he replied.
"None today. It has been quiet." Came his tired, gruff voice, which would have sent pleasant, electric thrills down Lydia's spine, had the subject of conversation not been so grave.
It made her briefly wonder if she had ever been like this with Roy.
But like so many times before, she quickly came to the conclusion that it was no use to even try and compare the two relationships with each other. She had loved Roy in a different way, him being her first and, at the time, only love. Also, their situation had been entirely different from what Lydia and Caesar had now. They hadn't had to hide it from anyone in that first year, when their union had still been new, and while she had longed for him back when they'd had to keep it low-profile within the colony, she had always known they would be sharing a nest at the end of the day.
With Caesar she had no such luxury, having to resort to stolen glances and rare brushes of fingers during the day, if he was even within the colony at all. That, and their irregular meetings in the cover of darkness down in their secluded cave. And even then, it wasn't even a certainty that he would be there on any given night that she would find herself sleepless and venture down there.
Synchronising two individuals' insomniac tendencies was a lot harder than it sounded, honestly.
And yet, in a way, it was exciting and even liberating for Lydia to have this with him. This thing that only they knew of and could shape any way they pleased, with no sideways looks or outside opinions as to what their relationship should be – or what ought to come of it.
But on the other hand, it was such a strain to keep up pretences, even after only a few months. She missed Caesar during the day, and worried for him immensely while he was gone, even with all the tasks she had to attend to that kept her mind busy.
But Lydia had no one to talk to about all of this.
She shot another sideways glance at Tinker, her best friend and greatest support since Orion, Rocket and Blue Eyes had left. At the moment she was signing with Luca, Spear and Maurice, while Caesar nodded along at her words about food storage and foraging – her area of expertise.
Even if she was following the conversation closely now, Lydia could almost feel Caesar's searching gaze seek her out every now and then, though she knew he hid it well by pretending it was Cornelius he was looking at, seeing as the Ape Prince was still sitting in her lap, babbling merrily.
Lydia bit her lip, doing her best not to give anything away about what that stare did to her.
What would Tinker say if she knew that Lydia was having a secret relationship with their old friend's widowed husband?
Well, of course it sounds bad when you say it like that, for goodness sake! Lydia thought, pursing her lips as she let Cornelius run his fingers against the edge of her fingernails experimentally. But then again, that's how it is, really… No point denying it.
Among humans, Lydia knew that what she was doing would most likely have been looked badly upon, but what about the apes? It was a question she had never had to consider before, and now that she was at the centre of such a dilemma, Lydia began to seriously worry about how her best friend would react. Would she condemn it? Would she think poorly of Lydia for it?
Would she distance herself from her?
These unpleasant thoughts ran through her head one after another, distracting her as worry gnawed at her heart.
She only just managed to detect that Luca had turned to her to ask about the hunting routes she was planning on using the upcoming days, though it did, thankfully, manage to briefly pull her from her troubled musings. She chided herself inside her own mind, and not for the first time that evening, for almost letting her private problems interfere with her duties as a council member.
"I'll roam around north of here on my next couple of hunts and I'll take Hillock with me. I was thinking we should send the other hunting parties in a western to north-western direction. We could use a bigger area with less of a risk of running into any soldiers." The human woman spoke clinically, to which Spear, Luca and Caesar all nodded with severe looks on their faces.
A couple of weeks ago, one unfortunate hunting party had stumbled upon a small group of scouting soldiers and had barely managed to get away unseen and report what they had found. The apes had quickly dealt with the threat by luring the humans into a different direction, but even if they had been nowhere near the colony, the fact that they had been roaming in one of the apes' hunting grounds, unknowingly bypassing the apes' defensive measures, had hit a little too close to home for Caesar.
Later that night, he had spent the whole time in their secret cave brooding and worrying to the point that Lydia had felt they were having a private council meeting rather than a secret midnight tryst.
"We could probably try sending one party south, just to check if we'd be able to hunt undisturbed now. I don't want to hunt the northern part of the forest to the point that there's nothing left, and-…"
At that moment, Lydia was interrupted by the sound of insistent hooting from below her face, and she, together with everyone else, lowered her gaze to see what it was the Ape Prince wanted as he wiggled in her arms. Maybe he was hungry? He usually made a bit of a fuss if that was the case.
But evidently, it wasn't that, because as soon as Cornelius' eyes met Lydia's, the small chimp gibbered excitedly and began signing, showing a new word he had learned.
And what a word it was he had chosen to display…
"Mother." The little ape in her lap signed as he stared up at Lydia, his green eyes insisting and joyful all at once as he regarded her.
As for Lydia, her jaw went slack as her blue eyes widened in surprise at the young Ape Prince, who only seemed encouraged by her sudden change of expression.
"Mother! Mother! Mother!" He began to shape the word repeatedly with his little hands, turning his head to look between his father, Maurice and Tinker interchangeably, pride and childish glee clear on his bright little face.
And every time he had shown it, as if to confirm who exactly he was pointing out to the adults, his gaze turned back to Lydia as he hooted happily up at her.
In that moment, the human woman found it extremely difficult to come up with an expression that would fit the situation as what little colour her skin held completely left her face.
Part of her felt proud of the little prince learning to sign a new word and reasoned that this achievement should somehow receive praise. He shaped it perfectly, after all, and was clearly expecting some positive reaction from the adults all around him.
Then there was another part of her which felt that this was somehow a betrayal towards Cornelia, since Lydia had seemingly taken her place as a mother in Cornelius' eyes.
A stab of guilt went through the human woman's chest.
Please let him turn to Tinker and do the same. A little voice in Lydia's head begged, though to who exactly, she didn't really know. Tinker and Lydia shared the responsibility of raising the Ape Prince, though they both knew he did seem to prefer bunking in with Lydia rather than Tinker on those nights when he'd run off in search of motherly comfort. Why that was, Lydia had never been able to decipher.
And then, there was yet another part of her which felt ecstatic that the young Ape Prince had apparently singled her out as his mother-figure. It was a something that, despite the feeling of guilt towards Cornelia and her memory, made Lydia feel even more certain that what she had with Caesar was meant to be.
But she couldn't rightly show that as she was sitting there, so instead, Lydia alternated between staring, mouth agape, at the ape child in her lap and looking at the surrounding adults for help in handling this delicate matter.
And most of them looked as surprised as Lydia felt, honestly – and Caesar especially so.
It was Tinker who finally came to Lydia's aid after several seconds of the woman eyeing her friend with quiet desperation, and the female chimp reached over to pat Cornelius on his back with a gentle smile on her fine features.
"It's a good word, Cornelius!" She signed encouragingly. "Can you sign 'teacher' for Maurice?" She asked, and the elderly orangutan played along by looking expectantly at the child as he folded his large hands in front of himself.
The distraction worked instantly, and Cornelius happily took on the new challenge Tinker had presented him with, prompting Lydia to shoot her old friend a grateful look above the ape child's head.
It didn't work quite as well on Lydia, who was doing her very best to keep a straight face and pretend as if the youngest Ape Prince's use of that single word hadn't just made her heart do several somersaults inside her chest. To pretend that it hadn't made any difference when in reality, it had stirred up a storm inside of her.
And most importantly, to pretend that the subtle, but no-less intense looks Caesar cast her way every now and then didn't make her shiver with anticipation.
Oh, this was definitely something they had to discuss… and Lydia didn't quite know if she was looking forward to it or not…
Tinker
"You seem quite happy lately." Tinker couldn't help but comment later that night, after she and Lydia had retreated to the female ape's private little hovel and she had finished brushing her human friend's stubborn, dark tresses. As she so often did these days.
The woman turned her head and offered Tinker a startled look, having seemingly not even noticed that the she-ape had finished her task and put down the brush to sign at her.
"Huh? Oh, sorry, Tinker." Lydia replied sheepishly, reaching up to pull her fingers experimentally through her hair to double-check Tinker's handiwork. Her fingers ran smoothly through the fine strands. "I guess I got lost in my own thoughts there… You were saying?"
Tinker raised a brow at Lydia's tardiness, finding it odd.
It wasn't entirely unusual for the human woman to drift off at times with a far-away look in her deep, blue eyes, and especially so after a long day filled with duties towards the colony to tend to. Honestly, by now Tinker had become quite used to having to gently poke Lydia's arm to make her return from wherever her complicated mind sometimes decided to take her, and it wasn't like she minded either. She figured it was Lydia's way to calm her own thoughts – letting them drift wherever they pleased.
But lately, these moments of hers had seemed… different.
And Tinker had a suspicion that it had something to do with the woman's recently improved mood.
"I said you seem happier than usual." Tinker repeated as she gave a friendly smile. "And I was wondering why."
Lydia huffed a quick laugh at her as she pulled on her thin, grey hoodie. It wasn't really a cold night, seeing as it was in the middle of summer, but the interior of the caves was always cool, and especially so during the evening and night.
"I didn't realise I was that much of a grouch before." The human replied with much humour, rolling her eyes as she did so.
But it would take more than that to distract Tinker.
"You know that's not what I meant." She pressed on, becoming blunter in her approach as she gave a soft frown. One needed to be like that with Lydia sometimes, as the woman was a master at avoiding or downright disregarding questions she didn't want to answer.
But Tinker, having known Lydia for so long, wouldn't give up so easily. There was something she wasn't telling her, she could just feel it.
It wasn't something Tinker figured anyone who wasn't as close with Lydia would notice, since, apart from being an expert at dodging uncomfortable questions, Lydia also happened to be extremely good at hiding her feelings when she really wanted to.
Tinker knew what to look for, however. Knew all her little tells, which, when put together, amounted to a stark difference that the female chimp simply couldn't ignore any longer, even if it didn't seem to be something bothersome for her old friend.
The way Lydia would hum merrily to herself as she went about her daily tasks. The renewed vigour with which she performed her duties to the colony, be it gutting a deer or training would-be hunters.
And then there was the startled and skittish, almost guilty looks Lydia would sport when she was pulled from the deepest recesses of her mind – which happened more frequently than ever before.
And if there was one thing Tinker had never known Lydia to be, it was skittish.
In short, everything about her recently seemed to radiate cheerfulness, excitement… and also secrecy.
Something was up, the she-ape had concluded, and she was going to find out exactly what it was.
And more importantly, she was going to find out why Lydia hadn't said anything to her about it. That was what really puzzled her at this point, as it seemed to have been going on for well over a couple of weeks by now, if not an entire month.
"What are you not telling me, Lydia?" Tinker finally decided to sign when her friend only seemed to shrug at the ape's previous words.
At first, Lydia avoided Tinker's gaze entirely, biting her bottom lip as she stared down at the pelts that made up the female chimp's nest. Clearly, it wasn't something she felt comfortable talking about, which only made Tinker all the more curious. Lydia had always been somewhat brash and straight-forward, not afraid to state her opinion or point out harsh truths, however unwelcome they might be. This frankness was something Tinker had come to appreciate over the years, knowing that she could trust Lydia to be truthful with her, and count on her during difficult times.
The two had become such good friends that Tinker felt quite comfortable sharing her innermost thoughts, good and bad, with Lydia, and especially so after Rocket and Orion had left with the eldest Ape Prince in search for a new home.
True, Lydia had always had a habit of keeping her more personal feelings to herself, choosing instead to act as emotional support for everyone else, including Tinker, but the ape thought that her human friend had become better at expressing them over the past months. So much so that the female ape had honestly thought that by now, at least between the two of them, Lydia wouldn't feel the need to hold back anymore. To… what was the phrase? 'keep her cards close to her chest'? Yes, that was the one Lydia had taught her.
Tinker leaned forward, silently willing the woman to raise her head and meet her own searching, green gaze.
Surely, whatever it was, if it made Lydia act so cheerfully, it couldn't be a bad thing, right?
At last, Lydia sighed in an almost defeated manner and, strangely, cast a sideways glance at the entrance to Tinker's cave, which was blocked by two overlapping deerskins, much like the entrance to Lydia's own private chamber. Tinker followed her friend's gaze, puzzlement written all over her face at the human's strange behaviour.
"Alright, just… promise you won't be mad? And that you won't tell anyone else?" Lydia spoke in a voice which grew more and more hushed towards the end, trailing off into an urgent whisper.
Despite her obvious confusion, Tinker sensed that this was an important condition for the human woman, and she nodded seriously at her friend's request. At this point, she was too curious not to.
"Okay, erhm…" Lydia spoke awkwardly, biting her lips yet again as she scooted over inside the nest to sit with her back towards the entrance of the little cave. She directed for Tinker to sit directly in front of her, and briefly looked over her shoulder, as if to make sure no one would be eavesdropping on them, before she turned back to Tinker with a serious, yet awkward expression on her face.
Then, she began to sign, which wasn't really strange in itself. She still did that regularly when conversing with the apes, after all, even if she didn't have to.
No, what was strange was that she didn't speak simultaneously – something that had always been a habit of hers.
"Now, listen, Tinker… I… I really don't know how to talk to you about this… I figured you'd be really, really mad if I told you, so…" Lydia began, her eyes darting from Tinker's face and down at the pelts they were sitting on as she struggled with her words.
To say that Tinker was intrigued at this point would be a gross understatement.
She was practically hanging on to every word, every gesture that Lydia was making.
"I already promised not to be mad, Lydia. Come on, tell me already! I'm beginning to worry." She nudged with a slight streak of impatience to her signing. What could be so bad that Lydia would refrain from telling her about it? Did it have something to do with the soldiers? Or the apes she was training?
Honestly, Tinker couldn't come up with any scenario that would change Lydia's behaviour in this way and at the same time be so bad that she felt the need to take such precautions to keep it a secret, even from her best friend.
And so, it was with bated breath that she awaited her human friend's explanation, steeling herself for something she did not yet know.
But whatever Tinker had expected, whatever she had imagined her friend would confess to her, it surely hadn't been… this.
"It's… You see, Caesar and I… We're… Well, we're 'together', as it is." The human woman signed, still gnawing at her bottom lip to the point that Tinker feared she'd pierce the skin. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen her friend being this uncomfortable.
The ape frowned and narrowed her eyes in confusion, thinking at first that she might have misinterpreted Lydia's signing, asking her to repeat it.
When the same words were shown to her, Tinker could do nothing but blink in surprise for the first couple of seconds before the message finally sank in and she managed a soft, questioning hoot.
"You mean like… mates?"
Lydia nodded, looking for all the world like she expected Tinker to have some sort of fit. Shoulders hunched, hands fidgeting and the look in her eyes uncharacteristically uncertain.
And suddenly, it all made sense to the she-ape.
The far-off looks, the improved mood, the startled, guilty looks when she was caught daydreaming. Her friend was in love. Her friend was having a secret relationship and she was in love!
With the Ape King! Their mutual friend and leader – and Cornelia's widowed husband!
She understood now why Lydia had been uncertain about telling her, though Tinker quite honestly didn't think she could manage to be angry, given the circumstances. Cornelia had been their mutual, dear friend and here Lydia was, advancing on the mate Cornelia had left behind…
But it was love in the woman's eyes, that much was clear to Tinker now.
Had it been anyone else, Tinker might have thought they'd be taking advantage of Cornelia's absence to make personal gains from being with the colony's leader.
But Lydia was quite obviously keeping this a secret and even if she hadn't, there probably wouldn't have been much to gain for her anyway by being with Caesar. At least not as things stood right now, with the war going on and all.
And just like that, she also understood now why Lydia had taken the precautions she had before telling Tinker – if anyone would have happened to pass by and hear such a confession…
Tinker didn't even want to think of the consequences… especially not if that someone, for whatever reason, happened to be Cedar or someone of her ilk.
"How long?" She asked with a raised brow, though she had a pretty good idea of when this… arrangement must have started.
"A couple of months." Came Lydia's answer, confirming Tinker's suspicions. Then, a look of slight horror came over the human's face. "Wait, you didn't think I would… I mean, that we would start something like that right after…?"
Cornelia's death, Tinker finished inside her own mind.
She shook her head at that. For a split-second after Lydia had confessed her relationship with the Ape King, the thought had indeed occurred to her, though she had dismissed it just as quickly. She knew both Caesar and Lydia very well, being close friends with both for many years now. And because of that, she also knew that neither of them would start something like that so soon after having lost a mate.
After all, it wasn't just Caesar who had lost his beloved. The loss of Roy had been just as devastating to Lydia and Tinker knew it had taken her a very, very long time to shake off the grief that had hung over her like a dark, menacing cloud ever since Roy's death.
There was no way that Lydia would've been able to start something with another while being in that state, so this development with Caesar had to be a recent one, Tinker had quickly concluded.
"I know you wouldn't… I just couldn't help but wonder, that's all." Tinker reached forward to lay a reassuring hand on Lydia's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before retracting her limb once more.
Lydia's mouth fell slightly open at that.
"You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would." She commented with that peculiar tilt of her head, her expression one of mild surprise and… was it relief?
Tinker pursed her lips at that.
"How exactly did you think I would react?" The she-ape asked perplexedly, crossing her arms once she was done signing. It didn't sit well with her that Lydia seemingly thought she would blow up a storm because of something like this.
Sure, it was a huge deal, and Tinker might have reacted differently if Lydia had come to her and confessed this just a few months after Cornelia's death, but now, so long after it had happened?
"Well, I don't know… scandalized, perhaps? I imagined I'd get a scolding, at the very least." The human woman signed in a more relaxed manner now that she had realized Tinker wasn't going to react in the way she had expected. "I mean, it's Caesar, after all."
Tinker huffed a gentle laugh and shook her head at the notion.
True, it was strange to think of two of her dearest friends being together like that when she had witnessed them being with their respective partners for so long. In Tinker's mind, Caesar had always belonged with Cornelia and Lydia had always belonged with Roy – it had been like that for as long as she had known the four of them. It was hard to imagine it differently, she had to admit.
But Roy and Cornelia were both gone now, and Tinker could easily understand how Lydia and Caesar might be able to find comfort in each other. The two had always been good friends and given how both had experienced close bonds with the opposite species, it really shouldn't come as such a surprise that the two would come together like this, now that Tinker thought about it.
She offered Lydia a lopsided smile and an easy shrug as she replied.
"It's a thought I will have to get used to, for sure…" Tinker signed, her gestures accompanied by an amused huff. "But I won't blame either of you for wanting to regain some happiness after everything that has happened."
Lydia nodded at that, though the smile she offered still seemed somewhat strained.
"To tell you the truth, part of me has been feeling really guilty about it… Towards Roy and towards Cornelia… especially after today…" She signed with soft movements, making it seem like a whisper to the female chimp.
"You mean Cornelius calling you mother earlier?" Tinker inquired, though it was quite pointless to even ask.
Of course it was that – she had seen the look on Lydia's face when it had happened, after all. Brief as it might have been, before she had managed to cover it up, there had been that moment of utter astonishment, quickly exchanged for embarrassment and guilt, which had then hidden by a gentle smile as Tinker had distracted the child.
And with this new revelation in mind, Tinker could easily understand why Lydia had reacted like that.
"Yeah…" The human replied, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly as she averted her gaze, as if ashamed.
"It's only natural that he would think that. He sees other ape children with their mothers, doing the same thing with them that you and I do with him." Tinker tried to reassure her, though she could tell before she was even done signing that her friend was nowhere near being convinced by her words.
"And yet he singled me out, even though we're both helping with raising him…" Lydia pointed out, a defeated look suddenly appearing on her face. "I swear, I could barely look Caesar in the eyes, it was just so awkward… I feel like I'm imposing on his family life already…"
Well, Tinker thought, that does make sense.
"Have you talked with Caesar about this?"
A sigh left the human at that, a tired, hopeless sound, really.
"When would I have done that? We haven't had a moment to ourselves for four days now. For the last three nights Cornelius has slept either with Caesar or with me. We can't just leave him alone." Lydia explained in a dejected manner, a heavy sigh leaving her as she did so.
At that, Tinker rolled her eyes in exasperation, then leaned forward and flicked her finger once against Lydia's forehead, making the woman recoil instantly.
"Ow! Hey!?" Lydia exclaimed with a look of confusion and annoyance now on her face, but before she could complain further, Tinker began to sign again.
"Then come to my cave and have him sleep here instead. He comes here too anyway, and you both know I wouldn't mind." The female chimp chastised in an almost motherly fashion, sighing when Lydia continued to regard her with uncertainty. As if she couldn't quite believe what Tinker was saying. "You should have come to me with this before. I could have helped sooner. It would have made everything so much easier for both you and Caesar."
Lydia reached up to rub the place Tinker had flicked with her finger, a sheepish look on her face now.
"Well, when you put it that way… And sorry for not saying anything..." She signed after having nursed the now sore spot on her forehead. Tinker might have flicked her a bit harder than she had originally intended, and almost felt bad for doing so now… Almost.
"Don't worry about it. As long as you don't keep such things from me next time." The she-ape answered after waving her hand dismissively, offering her human friend a brief, easy smile before her face once again became serious. "And Lydia… I don't suppose I need to even tell you this but… Be careful, okay? Not everyone, no matter how loyal they are to Caesar, will take kindly to him taking a human for a mate…"
"I know." Lydia nodded, speaking out loud once more. She then tilted her head again as a curious, yet fond smile found its way to her face. "Really, you're a lot more supportive of this than I dared hope for."
Tinker scoffed in mock-offence at that, fixing Lydia with an unimpressed look before a fond smile managed to overtake her features.
"You're both my friends. If this is something that makes you two happy, then I will help in any way I can – because I know you would do the same for me."
The two grinned knowingly at each other before Tinker gently reached over, grabbed a hold of the back of Lydia's head, and pulled her friend forward for their foreheads to meet in the intimate gesture the apes shared only with those closest to them.
It was brief, yet meaningful, and when they both straightened once more, the look on Lydia's face was one of relief and heartfelt gratitude, making a lump appear in Tinker's throat.
Years ago, the she-ape would have laughed in the face of anyone who might have suggested that she'd one day become the best of friends with a human, a member of the species which had caused her and her kind so much suffering and grief.
Now, though… Now Tinker was both older and wiser, and as such, she understood that the world wasn't just separated into good apes and bad humans.
Koba had taught her that there were bad apes as well. Horrible apes, even… And the wounds his actions had caused still haunted Tinker, as well as the rest of the colony, to this day…
And then there was this human. This woman sitting on front of her… She had helped Tinker realise that there were good humans – wonderful humans - and at this point, Tinker couldn't imagine what she would've done without Lydia as her friend.
Now, the she-ape just hoped the Ape King and the human woman would be able to keep their secret.
