Chapter 92: Restrained

Jamie shows a side with Daryl never seen before. Things are getting weird to say the least between them and he does something he ends up regretting.

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Jamie

Daryl finally came back home to me after his precious brother dropped him off and before he sped away. He was dragging his tail between his legs and a not so apologetic, cheeky glint in his eye. A few days before, we'd fought before he walked out slamming the door and yelling about how it was his life and he didn't own me and he would see his brother whenever he wanted. I nearly ran out to the drive after him to apologise and tell him that of course he was right just so that we didn't leave things badly. I decided against it at the last minute. What was even worse now was that I couldn't help but take him not calling me to let me know he was going to be late as another act of defiance.

Things were no better in the bedroom either these days. I even considered giving up on asking him as he shied away even more now than ever whenever I actually dared to bring it up. Still, he liked to push my buttons still and seemed restless. I just prayed that he wasn't starting to feel that he was ready to move on from us.

I couldn't bear that.

I dallied with various scenarios (all of them with me as the winner, Merle as the loser) of how to deal with him while I was waiting for him to come home. Like going over there without announcing it in advance with the intention of bringing him home with me and he was surprised but happy to see me and ran into my arms to Merle's annoyance… And when I got him home… he'd play the submissive and be all apologetic, allowing me to playfully vent all my anger on him and show him who was boss. Maybe I could even get him to let me and let me carry on until I was finished… and he'd be grateful to me for showing that it didn't have to hurt and that he could trust me.

Role-plays never harmed anyone, I thought. I did go over there but without stepping a foot inside the house only to check on him but maybe there out. Anyway, the curtains were closed to my great disappointment.

After I opened the door to find him standing on my doorstep, he seemed to curl into himself and was jiggling on his feet. Yet his eyes were defiant, blazing back at me and daring me to say something.

'Look at you. Come in.' I noticed that he wasn't wearing the new designer outfit I'd put on him before he left but some old clothes that looked half-worn out. Faded, old jeans and an old checkered shirt that had seen better days. He must have seen my frown because he brushed past my outstretched arms that were asking for a hug and threw himself carelessly down on my expensive, pure white leather sofa.

'Daryl?'

He smirked back at me but the corner of his mouth was turned down.

'You OK?' This wasn't going how I planned in my head. He was acting strangely subdued. 'Did something happen with your brother?'

'Only the usual. Merle bein' Merle. Brought himself back a pair of skanks from Marty's on Saturday night, didn't he, the bastard? They were in school the year above me – I knew them, for fuck's sake! He almost screwed them there right in front of me!' He looked down at the carpet and kicked out irritably.

'Asshole.' He growled at the carpet.

I frowned wondering why he was so bothered. 'Sorry to hear that.'

He shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care. But I knew he did.

'And you?' I meant did he bring himself something a little extra home from that dump? Yet I knew he would never cheat on me.

'What?' He glared at me.

'I mean…' I felt insecure for the first time in over 10 years which was a very surreal experience. This was not how things should have gone down in my head. 'I mean did you …have a nice time apart from that?'

'Yeah, mostly.' But his downcast expression told the opposite story.

I went to the other side of the sofa and stretched out my arms to him. 'Come here.'

He came over gratefully to me and sighed against my chest. 'Let me make it up to you.'

He wouldn't let me of course.

Jamie

Another time, I went to pick him up.

He must have sensed some of my thoughts, I could tell he was looking at me and fidgeting nervously. Battling with himself whether he should say something or not, and finally decided not to. I smirked as I kept my eyes on the road, pretending I didn't notice and frowned but held my tongue. He wasn't his usually bubbly self like he was after he spent time with his brother apart from that time that he was annoyed when Merle got laid. He was strangely subdued and kept giving me nervous, little glances as we drove along in silence.

Now, this was more like how it went down in my head. I smiled to myself but inside where he couldn't see.

'You've been a very bad boy, Daryl. The way you talked to me on the phone when I called to ask if you were coming home was disrespectful.' I drove up on the driveway, shut the engine off and stayed still a few seconds enjoying watching him nervously twisting his hands and let him squirm a little while. Then, I went over to his side and yanked the door open and took a hold of his wrist, gently but determinedly, I got him out of the car and ushered him in front of me as I continued playing my role.

'I can't help but to wonder if you did it on purpose. You seem to like making me angry.' I added darkly as I slammed the door shut behind us, enjoying his look of fear instead of feeling bad about it. Then, without warning, I grabbed a fist full of his hair and shoved him up against the closest wall just like I'd held him against that door at that long-ago party.

I ignored his small sounds of surprise and protest. When I eventually let him go, he spluttered, looking all worried and irresistible with his hair mussed up looking all cute like a cyberpunk.

'I'm...I'm sorry I didn't come back yesterday but Merle needed help clearin' up our yard.' I narrowed my eyes, not taken in by such a lame excuse.

'Then why didn't you tell me that on the phone instead of laughing at me like you did?'

'At least I called you this time to let you know!'

'You say that like I should be grateful? Grateful that my boyfriend gives me some of his precious time to tell me what he's doing on the phone?'

'I didn't mean it like that.' His cheeks flushed red as he squirmed.

'It's OK. Don't worry about it.' I ruffled his head noticing he was getting too anxious. I wanted him nervous and apprehensive but too much would put a stop my plans, I knew that much. Knew him.

He still wasn't convinced so I added a little laugh as I softly traced his jaw with my lips. 'I was only messin' with ya. Of course, I ain't angry – You two were just having fun. He's your brother. Of course, you can visit him whenever and stay as long as you want.' I lied.

Pretty convincingly, I thought, I added 'It would be different if it was another hot, young guy. But he's family.'

He gave me a funny look at that before he breathed a sigh of relief at that. I kissed him again, more gently this time and laughed at his stricken expression.

I didn't even have to bid him before he was on his knees, already undoing my flies. I twisted my hand in his hair as my dick was surrounded by the wet warmth of his talented mouth. He even outdid himself this time and my knees almost gave way.

He leaned back a little and smiled back up at me, proud of his accomplishment.

My thumb lightly stroked his cheek as I smiled down at him. 'Clever boy.' He liked praise – liked it a lot.

I was approaching the point of no return as my balls tightened and drew up slightly in his hand. Even with the amazing sensations flooding my entire system, I still had the mind to make sure there was no mess on the priceless (and unique because it had been produced based on my own design) Turkish carpet.

'Swallow,' I commanded just before and he gave me a little but visible nod to show me he would. Grateful to be able to fully relax and enjoy the last few seconds that were left, I dug my fingers even deeper into his hair before they turned into fists.

'Oh, God!' I cried when I came. 'I love you.'

Afterwards, he looked up at me with a little fear. It was hard to escape that he was doing that more and more lately.

I wondered what I had done. Or said.

'Don't worry. I ain't gonna ask tonight.' I stroked his hair gently. 'How about I repay you for what you just did?'

His eyes lit up at that and gave a long shuddery sigh.

His obvious relief bugged the hell out of me but I didn't show it as I tugged him gently upstairs with me. I soon had him out of his clothes and lying on his back in middle of our bed. I teased his various body parts with my tongue for ages until he was practically begging me to use my mouth on him.

Afterwards, I just held him to me and he fell asleep, curled against me. I wanted badly to ask him about what his Dad did but I never could go through with it. His father was always a no-go topic with us but I worried that if we never spoke about him and what he did, we would never be able to get over it.

Jamie

He was looked so innocent and at the same time, so simply fuckable in his sleep that I couldn't resist it even though I knew he was going to hate me at first for what I planned to do. Especially when I had promised him I wouldn't but it was what we needed for our relationship to move forward and I prayed that he would eventually realise this. I got on with it as quietly as I could to avoid waking him up. That wouldn't be good while I groped about for what I was looking for in the bottom drawer of the chest next to the bed. The place where I conveniently kept all the kinky stuff not that he hardly let me use any of it on him, I couldn't help thinking with a little resentfully.

I wavered between the silver singlet cuffs with their key and the strands of rough rope but in the end, decided on the latter. I had to introduce him to being tied up gradually, show him that it wasn't anything to be scared of. I considered tying his feet to the bed-posts as well for a split-second but thought it would be too much. If I did that, he would definitely freak out and I wouldn't get what I wanted.

But it was what I wanted, eventually of course.

I could get everything I wanted from the others but not from him. Never him. I loved him and he deserved to be treated with a little respect.

Not like them. The throwaways I used and discarded how and when it suited me.

But he wasn't to know any of that and I prayed he never would.

Shaking my head and pushing away thoughts of them, I came back to the present, thinking I mustn't mix them and him up in my fantasy and treat him the same wayI treated them. So, merely restraining his hands to the bedposts would have to do this time. I closed the bed curtains around us and arranged him carefully on the plush pure rose - colored silk and waited for him to wake up.

Lord knows, I wanted him to his morning lie-in and be refreshed and at his best for what was coming.

After about 10 mins of watching him slumber – as entrancing as it was, I was beginning to lose my patience. He had even rolled onto his stomach in his slumber and was in the right position – sleeping on his stomach for me to enter him later. I took it happily as a sign.

So, I sat beside him on the bed instead of towering over him to make it less threatening when he finally did wake up. Even so, as his eyelids fluttered open, confused because he couldn't move his arms even though I'd left plenty of slack, he instinctively started to yank at the ropes. He breathed in sharply as his mind tried to catch up with the present.

'Jamie, what the fuck did ya...' He pulled at hiss restraints, I knew they weren't too tight, but I'd made damn sure that he wouldn't be able to get out of them either.

Even if he gave up with his body trying to squirm free uselessly and to painfully swivel his head to glare at me, he didn't with his angry mouth, cursing and swearing at me. 'Damn it! Ya crazy? Let me go!'

'Relax, don't hurt ya wrists! I ain't gonna do nothin' to you that you don't want. Trust me.'

'Last time I checked, being tied to the bed wasn't somethin' I wanted!'

'Hush now. I promise, this is an exercise in trust. Ain't gonna hurt ya, promise.' He raged and struggled uselessly.

'Yeah, you keep fuckin' sayin' that. I'm tellin' ya I don't want this so lemme the fuck go!' He looked back at me over his shoulder in fury. I could just imagine how panicked he would be if I went out of his only available line of sight and he couldn't see what I was doing. Just thinking about that, him at my total mercy was making me hard but I struggled to control myself. It was something I could try later after I got him used to the ropes.

'Calm down. I know, 'trust' is jus' a word … But I'll prove it to you. You never did give me the chance to show you how you can trust me. The minute I start to say what I want, you shut down. Don't even try anymore.'

I reached out to stroke his cheek and smile down at him. 'I won't take advantage of you tied up. This is a trust exercise so trust me.'

'You kiddin'?' Disbelief and anger stood out clearly in his eyes. But they widened in fear when I reached for the drawer.

'I already do trust ya…' He gabbled in his fear. 'No need to do this, Jamie. I learnt my lesson. Ya can let me go now.'

I smiled gently back at him and closed the drawer while holding what I took out tightly in my fist so he couldn't see it. His big blue eyes widened even more if that was possible as he stared at my hand.

'Please, Jamie.' His voice turned soft, wheedling. 'I'll let ya, jus' untie me first.' He gave his bonds another wrench and he was really a piece of art with his stomach muscles and biceps straining. And the scars…well, they were kind of horrible but fascinating at the same time. For a moment I was lost in awe as I stared down at him.

'Jamie, jus' let me go! I don't like this.'

When I made no move to do what he said, he grew a little tearful. 'Please, please, Jamie. I really don't want it…You can't do it to me, not like this! Please!'

I ignored him. 'Now, now, don't you go jumpin' to conclusions just 'cos I'm about to bring out the lube...' I finally let him see what was in my hand.

He grew pale when I showed it to him and suddenly changed tack.

'OK.' He nodded and his whole face brightened like he was finally seeing sense and getting into it. I almost believed him except for his entire body shaking.

'Yes.' He smiled up at me in excitement and I had to marvel at what cute little actor he was.

Was going to be fun for the role-plays I had planned for us in future.

Couldn't blame him for lying either, after all he really didn't have much of a choice.

'Now, call me Daddy.' I told him even though I knew how much he hated it but I saw it as therapy. 'Therapy' he would eventually thank me for.

'No! I ain't doin' that!' He looked up at me in incredulous disbelief. 'Why?'

'I know, sweetheart. Didn't think ya would. But I want ya to try. Jus' for me...Get...Get over...whatever it is that's stopping you from letting me take control...'

He frowned at that.

I decided to change tactics, this all would go all the way to hell if I kept this up and then I would really have to let him go. The thought that what I had done already might have already tipped him over the edge didn't occur to me.

His eyes narrowed and looked up at me in suspicion. 'Why the fuck do you want me to call you that anyway?'

'Hate to break it to you, baby but a lot of older men like being called that.'

'Why do they?' He yelled. 'When they fuck? It's fuckin' sick, is what it is.'

'Why you say that?'

His mouth became a grim line and he turned away to hide his eyes from me.

I moved my hand – I only wanted to stroke his scarred back (should have known better to try – his back was apparently still a no-go zone) to reassure him but the look on his face made me stop.

'What? Can't mess with you a little? After all those pranks you played on me and the teasin'…'

He started to try to say something, but my finger pressing on his perfect lips soon shut him up. 'Hush. Now, just relax.'

Daryl was silent, pale but was trying with all his might to please me after having finally resigned himself to his fate. I bet he thought I was acting crazy and out of control because I had never pushed it this far with him before. Always listened to him and stopped.

But not this time.

I stayed my guilt by murmuring, 'You owe me.'

He froze but let out a small helpless sound full of pain but even that didn't deter me.

'Besides, I've already been inside you already, remember? So, what's the difference?'

I coated my fingers in lube without him realizing it, and talked softly to him, praising and reassuring and also distracting him at the same time my finger found its way inside him. He gulped in surprise at that so I quickly took him in my mouth. When I was met with a reluctant moan, I knew he would probably give in. Especially when I upped the game some and cupped his balls. I was so focused on him that I barely even looked at the beautiful muscles in his arms strained taunt in pleasure despite himself. All the while I thought on how best to persuade him. It would be better the shorter time I was inside him for sure, that way I would be much more likely to finish while still being inside him. I was also much less likely to lose control with him that way like when we tried before.

'You like your lesson in trust so far, baby?' I asked before I took him back in my mouth.

I wasn't surprised that he didn't reply in words, instead he let out those moans that made the hair on my arms stand on end. It was scary how much he managed to get under my skin, then again, I'd never felt this way about any of the others – this intensity, this need to possess him utterly that he denied me. Most of the time, previous boyfriends never even got a glimpse of the attention and devotion Daryl got from me. Imagining those boyish moans while finally taking him and being able to finish was enough to almost make me come right there on the spot. In my eagerness, I pushed in two more fingers to keep the one already there company and making him tense back up and his breath hitch slightly, but he still he said nothing.

I hoped that this meant that he wouldn't object to me sliding in and not losing precious time. He bucked a few times to get me to take him deeper down my throat, when I did, he came. He gave me a look as I swallowed it all and raised his eyebrows as if to ask me 'What the fuck are you doing?' or was expecting me to throw it up. I smiled back as I slid down to lay beside him without making a move to untie him. I was simply enjoying seeing him bound too much. 'What ya makin' that face for, baby? It's from your body.'

He grimaced and gasped. 'Ain't that. I want ya to untie me NOW, Jamie!' He was coming down from the high of the orgasm I'd just given him and suddenly remembered again that he was still restrained. He struggled again against his binds so that his beautiful biceps bulged again. My eyes grew dazed with lust and I was hard-pressed not to just take him then and there.

'Oh, baby. Do ya know how beautiful ya look when ya do that?' I stroked myself in front of him.

'That's enough! I trust ya now so you can let go!' He snarled.

'Don't be so ungrateful and don't ask me to let you go again because I'm not going to until I think you're ready. Until I am convinced that you really do.'

'You think doin' this is gonna make me trust ya? I told you before, I hate being tied-up! You're even crazier than I thought!' He scoffed.

I lost it then when he laughed at me and regret to say that I slapped his face. Hard. He stared at me in shock because hitting each other was something that we rarely did even in the heat of the moment when we argued. However, the difference now was he couldn't fight back. I knew it was a low blow but I couldn't stop myself. He'd never laughed at me before or looked at me like

the way he was looking at me now.

I guess it all struck a nerve in me. Then again, he had taken to spending more and more time with his precious brother and becoming more disrespectful all the while. I suspected Big Brother who didn't like me was turning him against me. Probably persuaded him to stay longer than he should have done.

'Stop acting like ya own me, will ya?! Ya don't have any right to do this if I don't want you to! I told ya to let me go!' He screamed and renewed his efforts to get free. 'Help! Help! Someone!'

My hand subconsciously squeezed into a fist. 'Quiet!' Then I punched him and left his mouth bloody just when he was going to try and call again.

'Nobody can hear ya out here, you know that. So, stop strugglin' – it won't do any good. Those ropes are industrial quality.'

'Fuckin' bastard.' He hissed. But he had slumped his head in defeat. I think I heard him whimper 'Merle' but I wasn't sure.

'Are ya gonna let me...? All the way? The sooner we do this, the sooner I'll let ya go.'

'Whatever. Ya jus' do whatever ya goin' to do.' His whole body slumped in resignation.

'Now, I said I'm not going to do anything against your will or hurt you. But can I suggest something?' He looked up at me briefly and nodded, sighing before he even knew what it was. But he must know what I wanted...what I always wanted. He knew what I was going to ask of him. No wonder, even to me I started to sound like a broken record. 'You give me a blowjob until I nearly come, then I'd only be inside you just for a little while. What do you say to that?'

'Take the ropes off me first, I won't do shit tied up.'

'Fair enough.'

He did a double-take and his face lit up but I could see all of his gorgeous muscles bunch up again probably in preparation to flee.

So, tryin' to calm him and really prove that he had nothing to fear from me, I straddled him which he clearly didn't appreciate, going by how his body bristled and undid one hand. He breathed an audible sigh of relief but when I didn't move to do the other like he was expecting, he looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

Especially when I got off him immediately after.

'What ya waitin' for? Undo the other one!'

'No.'

'What?' Now his face was a mess of fear and confusion.

I had thought this would make him trust me more and allay his fear but it didn't escape me how fast his breathing had become.

'What about the other one?' He was panicking now. 'Please', he begged.

'Never said I was going to do both.

'No...' He moaned. 'You can't…'

Oh, how much fun this was turning out to be, to see his face fall. The power I had over him was making me hard for sure. He desperately tried to reach across me and undo his other hand but I was straddling him and he couldn't reach without going over me, exactly as I planned.

I slapped his hand away.

'Bastard!' He hissed.

'Now, now. Play nice. Otherwise I'll think I'll have to tie that one up again since trust obviously doesn't go two ways in this game.'

'No, please...' He moaned and tried to buck me off. 'I do trust you and I'll be good; I promise.' He flashed me a flirty grin, letting me know that he wasn't really scared or maybe he was just the world's best actor.

'On your honour? Ya won't try to escape?' I wound his damp hair (sweaty with excitement, I hoped and not terror) in my fist and yanked it back hard.

'Fucker!' He yelled in pain.

'Ya swear on ya honour ya won't try to undo it or get out of this?'

'Yes. On my honour.'

'And call me Daddy?'

'Yes.' He bowed his head as he replied reluctantly in a small voice.

'Yes, what?'

I knew I shouldn't have wanted him to act like this way, knowing his history like I did but imagining him and his father together, him as a younger and smaller boy being violated and dominated by the older man who was blood-kin to him. Wondering if he tried to resist or would he have just hung his head submissively like he did with me sometimes? Did he plead with him to stop all to no avail or remain stubbornly silent throughout his whole ordeal? Refuse to cry even? That was surely what had happened to him, right?

Sick as it was, envisioning him being held down by his father's bigger and heavier body was exciting the hell out of me as I struggled again to hold on to my self-control.

'Yes, D- Daddy.' He gulped and his eyes flicked to the side and his breath hitched as he spoke that word. It was so hard for him to say it.

'Good boy.' I stroked his back and kissed the side of his throat. He shuddered at my touch and let out a little whimper but even this didn't worry me or stop me yet I did feel a modicum of regret. I told myself that he was playing his role in his desire to please me.

Feeling generous, I told him, 'Don't worry, I won't make ya call me it again, not if ya don't want to. I'm jus' wondering why?'

No answer, no surprise there. He always clammed up as soon as the subject of Daddy Dearest came up. It was obvious in how he shrunk up, trying to make himself smaller and started to quiver.

Regretting it later, I guess I just got too much into it, maybe even lost sense of all reality. I don't know what happened to me or I was treating him like the others I paid for to do the same.

Suddenly, I slapped him lightly and he gasped.

'What? Didn't your father slap you, now and again?' I knew it was cruel of me, I knew he'd done a hell of a lot more than that to him but for the life of me, I just couldn't stop my mouth. Realising what I just said, I clapped a hand to my mouth in horror. He was too shocked to even give a smart comeback and he flinched awaywhen I leaned down and planted a kiss to his forehead in apology. I was hurt at his reaction and wondered briefly if it would always be like this. Me tying him up and forcing him to call him by his father's name. The father who he was still so clearly terrified of. Would he run away from me for good after this? The consequences of what I was doing were momentarily outweighed by the amazing feelings of power I got by making him vulnerable and dominating him.

''I'm sorry, baby. Only meant to make a joke but it came out wrong, I'm so sorry...' I stroked his hair.

He didn't answer but his breathing did slow down and he uncurled himself slightly.

'I'm sorry, shouldn't have said that or hit you. I won't do it again but it's jus' that you and Merle never talk about him.'

'Cos there ain't nothin' to tell, that's why!' He looked at me blearily as if he couldn't figure me out and I knew he was lying about his Daddy – after all, he still hadn't turned up. I was on the verge of asking him about that...was it because Merle had killed him for him when Daryl couldn't take any more abuse? Maybe he had walked in on it for the first time and murdered him out of pure fury? I couldn't blame him if that's what had really happened to their Daddy.

Right then, I didn't want to discuss his inability to trust me enough to confide in me about what was done to him. Later on, maybe but not now.

'I'll be real gentle with you, promise, don't worry about that.' I paused deliberately. 'If ya let me.'

'What if I say 'No'? Will ya let me go then?' He looked up at me with such sweet hope.

'Then we'll jus' stay here until you change your mind. I'm a patient man, I don't mind waiting.' I loved boxing him in, trapping him. It was more fun than I ever thought possible. 'I ain't gonna force myself on you.'

He let out a shaky breath. 'Fine then, God damnit! But I'll be the one on top. And I ain't callin' you my Daddy 'cos that's jus' sick.''

'That's perfectly fine with me. You'll be offering me the best view possible anyway.'

He smirked at that, calmer suddenly now that he thought he would be mostly in control. 'Hands off, I run the show, or nothin'.'

'I love it when you boss me around.'

'Jamie…Please, damn it, jus' fuckin' untie my other hand before we do it.' He tried again, fluttering his eyes-lashes at me and pouting with his lips. 'I can't do it like this. I really can't. Please.'

I flinched despite myself this time because when he repeated these words, he said them in a tone full of tears and old pain that I didn't want to hear them again because it might make me less determined to see this through to the end.

That's when I knew I had to let him go. I leaned over him and took hold of his wrist. 'I'm untying you now you're free...I'm sorry. Just wanted to show you that you can trust me. I didn't do nothin' bad to you, did I?'

'No, but it took ya long enough to let me go! What was the point…? 'Cos, I do trust you.' But his gaze flicked away from me at the last second.

'See, that's the problem, I know you still don't completely. If you did you wouldn't keep on making me stop.'

'It's complicated.'

'Then explain it to me.

'Not tonight.'

I nodded and grabbed him to me, as I sensed he was well on his way off of the bed. I took this as progress as he gradually let himself relax even after the stunt I pulled. If I had known the whole story, his willingness to go this far after I'd tied up proved that he really did love me after all.

'I'll do it. But only with me on top.' He announced. 'And I won't be tied up or call you D…Da…. that name.' He shuddered.

Bless him. He can't even get the word out, I thought as I nodded eagerly. 'Fine.'

Jamie

While I kept half-expecting him to get up and run back to his brother but he didn't. I could tell that he was still reluctant but he'd promised and he was honourable like that. I smiled back at his scowl before I got on my back, biting my lip in anticipation of knowing how well his mouth was about to treat me. Before my wish came true that was. Better not push it, I told myself, he could call things off anytime. But just then he took me into his mouth and all thoughts left me. When my fingers transformed from curling gently into his hair to fists, I knew it was time to reluctantly tell him to stop.

'I must be crazy for saying this, but you gotta stop. I'm close.' He straightened up, back stiff as a board. He looked on the verge of getting off the bed, regretting it. I knew I had to be quick about things to talk him back into it, assure him that what I wanted wasn't the biggest concern for me. His well-being was. Of course, that was only partly true but whatever. 'Come on, baby. Grab the lube. Your spit won't be enough.'

He did it, hesitantly, but he did it. If I'd said the wrong thing just then I knew it would all be over and thanked my lucky starts how well I could read him. He worked in the lube on me as I watched him intently, those smaller hands around my dick never failed to arouse me. He straddled me then, just as the head of my dick disappeared inside him, having that beautiful sight in front of me like that, I almost came undone. But something stopped me, must be the level of how much I longed for this very moment.

Just as I thought, he was working me like a pro and a bit later into it, he was hard again. I knew I had brand new jerkoff material when he grabbed his dick. He wasn't so lost in it all that he didn't push my roving hands away and firmly pin them to my sides whenever I tried my luck.

'No hands!' He barked at me.

Just as I thought that this was a very successful first time taking into account his problems, he froze, let go of his dick and moved as to get off me. I couldn't have that and before I knew it my hands gripped his hips to stop him.

'I said no hands!' He snarled down at me, unable to believe that this time I wouldn't do what he told me like I always did.

'Sorry, baby, not long to go now. And you promised. Jus' can't get enough of ya sweet, tight little ass.' With that, I gripped those hips tighter as I bucked up, getting deeper inside him. He seemed to shut down though and his eyes became stripped of emotions. If I hadn't been so sidetracked with coming, I would have stopped. But I was unable to. I figured the damage was already done, why not take it all the way and fuck him the way I always wanted? I didn't need much time to ponder things as I angled myself deeper. 'Now, you might as well get yourself off, baby. 'Cos I ain't gonna stop…'

He didn't react – it was like he was frozen deep inside wherever he was in his mind except he gave a little shudder. Normally, his lack of response and pleasure in it would have spoilt it for me but not now after waiting for so long.

'I can't stop.' I tried to explain to him but I wasn't sure he could hear me and to be honest, in that moment, I couldn't have cared less.

'I would still like you to call me Daddy...even though you said…It don't mean nothin' but it's a little fantasy of mine...'

He whimpered and vehemently shook his head at that.

He shook his head again and I could tell that he was just waiting for it to be over. His lack of participation made me madder instead of putting me off until I realised that I was getting quite rough with him now. He was letting out little gasps of pain at each thrust which were really quite cute.

'You asked for this by keepin' me waitin'! I've been a total gentleman the whole time!' I snarled, finally letting out all my suppressed anger and frustration. If he'd only stayed willing and co-operative instead of acting like a limp corpse riding me reluctantly, I'd be hugging him right now and treating him nice instead of clutching his hips tightly to keep him firmly in place.

'Isn't this what you wanted?' He replied listlessly.

Yet I felt a pang of conscience but eased it by telling myself that he was on top, wasn't tied down so he could get off me if he really didn't want it. Besides, he owed me. What did he think was going to happen once he said 'Yes'?

'Ya owe me, boy.' I whispered in his ear and the fact that he didn't answer worried me. But didn't concern me enough to make me stop. But his face was contorted in a grimace as he tried to block out the pain, I guess.

Yet he must have got some pleasure out of it as well and I didn't have to search hard to find that special place inside him that would make him enjoy this as much as me. I could see his dick twitch visibly whenever I made contact with it.

'Yeah, ya like this, baby. Don't pretend ya don't.' I crooned at him while he shook his head again in protest.

A few more times and he was achingly hard, willing or not. He whimpered when he gripped himself for a second time. 'Open your eyes for me, precious.' He flinched at the name that he otherwise was used to, the wave of power that hit me when he opened them clearly terrified, got to me to say the least. Straight to my groin that was.

'Come closer.'

Hesitantly, without my hands letting go of him, he leaned forward. 'Closer…' I ordered.

He shook his head, clearly confused, but in the end he obeyed. He always did. Once he was close enough, I kissed his forehead. 'Come on, ain't so bad…' His body's response sure didn't escape me as he tensed up in reply, mine was moaning out loud as he squeezed around me harder than ever. 'Just enjoy the ride, sweetheart.' I murmured with my lips pressed up against his temple. He buried his face in my neck and as my thrusts picked up their pace and force as did his breathing. I was too turned on to stop, even though I could've sworn the side of my neck felt a bit damp. 'Now, I know I might be being a little rough with ya, but you've denied me for so long. Can't be surprised if now I jus' can't seem to get enough of you.'

I said nothing as he leaned back again without permission, I could allow him that much all things considered.

I watched in awe as his body followed my rough thrusts upwards, getting more brutal as our end was near, while he gritted his teeth, fisting the sheet under him with the other as he tried desperately to get himself off. 'I know, I know, I said I'd be gentle, but you've never let me finish, and I always asked ya nicely but you refused. So, you missed your chance. 'Sides, God, ya hurt so pretty.'

He drew in a sharp intake of breath when I said that and panickily tried to make me let go of him. But he didn't have a chance while I desperately clung to those hips and dug my fingernails into his flesh in my bliss without realizing. Later, I was dismayed to see those little half-moons etched on him together with the bruises in the shape of my hands.

As I got closer, I brought him down hard to meet my thrusts upwards, at the moment all his sounds and gasps of disapproval only managed to arouse me more. All pretense at tenderness was gone now, I simply wanted to devour him. 'You're so gorgeous, baby. Hang on for me, will you? It'll be over soon, promise.'

I closed my eyes and just marveled over his tightness as the next words spilled from my mouth. 'If ya'd just been willin' to give in to me before, it didn't have to be this way, you know. Nearly 2 years should be enough time, don't ya think? It's a shame that our first 'real' time has to be this way.'

He just hissed in reply as a particularly hard snap of my hips almost propelled him forward, despite me holding onto him. 'Not long now, amazing is what ya are…' I took the liberty to let go of him with one hand to slide my fingers on the inside of his thigh, before cupping his balls. He came long and hard, shooting his load all over my stomach. I imagined that had something to do with how roughly I'd tormented his sweet spot. Yet instead of slumping back in blissful relaxation, he looked to be on the verge of tears as powerful aftershocks went through his body.

I came just as intense, by the time I was done, some of the marks from my nails were bleeding. Unfortunately for him his hips weren't the only place where I'd drawn blood, I could tell. I could feel wetness coming from him, I guess from when I lost control and got rough. Once upon a time, that and his body language would have been enough to stop me but I guess I'd been patient enough. Now, all it did was make me hungry for more.

More of him.

I looked down briefly to confirm it. Yep, he was bleeding. If it had been done right, that should never have happened!

I had made him bleed!

I half expected him to bash my head in after I finally let him go but instead, he didn't make a move to get off me. As if in shock. I stroked some of his messy hair out of his eyes to get a better look at him but he wouldn't raise his eyes to meet mine. 'Not that I'm complainin' about still bein' inside you, lover… But unless you want to make me hard again, I suggest you get off and lie here next to me.'

He let out a shuddering sigh that sounded more like a sob. 'Look, I'm sorry. I got carried away there. Believe it or not, I did it all for you. Because ya have to get past your problems in your head, whatever they are.' I tapped his for emphasis. 'Whatever it might take.' I added a bit more darkly, just to try to make him realize, it wasn't healthy bottling things up and not dealing with them.

'Tell me, baby. Did you have a bad experience before, that why you don't like it done to you?'

How old were you when your Daddy started on you?

No response and no reaction.

'If you did, we can work on it. I won't lose it next time, promise. You'll be the one in control.'

If he'd turned round and told me to 'Fuck off, 'cos that ain't never gonna happen because we're finished' like I was half-expecting him to do, it couldn't have been worse. Instead, he said nothing.

Like I'd broken him.

I might as well have been talking to a wall, instead of answering he just stared at me, like he didn't know who I was anymore. 'Daryl, did you hear what I just said? You look at this as therapy. Do you want to try again and see if it gets easier? I mean, we don't have to now but maybe when you feel ready again?'

Again, just that blank stare that sent shivers down my spine. Like he was gone.

'That it, baby? You can jus' tell me, you know.'

I was scared now. He'd never been like this - frozen with dead eyes, apathetic.

Silent.

'Sh... I'm sorry I got so rough.'

His gaze then met mine dead on, and his pupils dilated slowly before my eyes as he got off me and never once did he let me out of his sight. His focused gaze turned fearful with a touch of horror as he felt around the back of his thighs and his hand came up with a mixture of blood and my jizz. Never once did his eyes leave me, not even as he grimaced as he slowly got dressed without even washing the blood off himself first. Very unlike him. I knew how much willpower that must have taken him. Usually he wanted two showers a day at the minimum, days when we had sex more than once? At least 4. I'd never met anyone who insisted on showering so often.

He put his shirt back on with jerky movements telling me just how angry he was. 'Daryl, please talk to me.'

He said nothing, didn't even look at me and tried to leave the room. I quickly put my pants back on and caught up with him. I spun him around and he didn't react until I Ieaned in to steal a kiss. Then he came to life as he pushed me away with his voice and body trembling as he whispered, 'Don't touch me. I fuckin' loved you.'

His words froze my heart and desperately afraid that I would lose him, I tore my hands away. 'I'm sorry, I was out of line, with what I said, and what I did.'

'Too little, too late, leave me alone!'

'Please don't leave. Not like this...At least let me explain...'

In a sudden flash of panic over him leaving me for good, I grabbed his shoulders but when all the response I got back was a fearful look I slapped him hard, splitting his lip in the process; 'Now you listen to me!'

All the sassiness was just gone at that very moment when recoiled away from me against the wall and I got up in his face. He by some miracle didn't flinch at that, he just lightly traced the cut on his lip with the tip of his tongue. 'I'm sorry, but I had to do that. I have to make you listen to me. You know I'd never hurt you on purpose! I would've taken it easier on you if I knew that I had made you bleed like that. I didn't notice until afterwards, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to, baby.'

The fact that I did hurt him on purpose wasn't lost on me. I should have expected there to be some blood and the fact that he had wanted to get off me and I wouldn't allow him was also clear despite his body language and reactions and the pitiful noises of protest he had made. Some part of me just couldn't have him denying me again, not when we had made such progress to get him on top of me like that. Besides, what I said to him about getting over stuff wasn't weird at all. Who better to work out stuff like this with, than with your boyfriend who loved you and who you trusted? If he just let me earlier before things came to this...

Even though I didn't want to let him go, it was the right thing to do. He was scaring me! I had underestimated how traumatized he was from whatever had happened to him in the past and how badly my behaviour and the things I had had said to him affected him. He had that glazed over look to his eyes again that I didn't care for one bit. He didn't even make a move when I tenderly stroked his cheek, and lightly traced my thumb over his lower lip.

'Does it hurt?' He didn't even to push me away just avoided my eyes. 'Hey, come on, now. You know I adore you…'

To be frank, I thought he might do something stupid. Like hurt himself, or worse. Just from a little rough sex?

I feared that he was more damaged than I had thought.

My heart sank with regret when he grabbed his bag and walked out the door without looking back.

Not even once.