(Well, this has been a very very long wait! Let me tell you, that I didn't forget about this story. I struggled to continue it. So I put this chapter together over months. It's not my best and I would have like to go deeper into the conent, but this just didn't happen plus it's not that long. Sry for my current mental inability to come up with more. I think this story will have two more chapters before it's completed.)
Chapter 10
The sun had long set and the town of Toulon had become quiet for the night. Again the day had been filled with a new hustle and bustle that drained him yet another time. Now with the bedside lamp bringing a warm orange light into Lisa's bedroom, Jack was sitting upright on the bed and waited for his turn to go into the bathroom to get ready for the night. The muffled sound of water splashing indicated that Lisa was still in the shower, so Jack leaned back against the headrest und took some time to calm down after this busy week.
It was the last day of his trip in France and this time tomorrow Jack would be crammed up in an air plane on his long-awaited way home. As much as it hurt to leave Lisa behind and travel home by himself, Jack already counted down the hours until the flight next day. Never before had he been that eager to get up into the air. Yet, home was calling his name. Loud and urgent. Jack needed to get back to Heartland or rather back into his comfort-zone. France would never see him again, he was certain of that.
If there wasn't this problem of making Lisa understand. So far she didn't have any knowledge of his discomfort. True, he was the only one to blame for that. There had never been the right time to tell her and so one thing led to the other until they went on this crazy marathon of house viewing yesterday – looking for the right place to call a vacation home. The word 'home' made Jack cringe. France wasn't his home and would never be. Not even for a vacation.
With a frown that drew deep wrinkles into his face Jack looked back on yesterday's happenings:
Two hands pulled him closer by the sides of his jacket.
"You are awfully quiet." Lisa had said while wrapping her arms around his waist and looking up at him.
He had forced a smile down at her while nervously rearranging his hat.
They stood in an empty room that was designed with a simple wooden flooring. Only parts of a country styled kitchen were sparsely filling the inside of this cute French farm property. There was a main building as well as two side building sitting half up on a hill, still overlooking the seaside as well as some vine yards on the backside.
"You don't like this house either, do you?", she quickly assumed by his hesitation.
"It's nice."
"Nice. Mhm." Her nod and clenched lips were enough proof of the disappoinment he had caused her yet another time that day.
It wasn't the first house that had been on their viewing list. Rather Lisa's viewing list that became longer every time they unscuccessfully left a realty. She had been patient with him. Very patient. None of the seen properties had convinced him much. Not because they weren't impressive and beautiful future homes. No. More because Jack didn't like the idea of buying a house in France at all. The thought of being bound to this country even more than just the fact that he had to share Lisa with it whenever she was travelling and gone for weeks or months was rising the most uncomfortable feelings in him. He just couldn't see himself living here. Not for vacation and not for his life. Letting her come here and waiting lonely back at home was enough of a sacrifice he had to make in their relationship. His trip to France would be the first and last time to him. Owning a vacation house here just didn't fit into his life. To Lisa however it obviously was everything. It seemed to be very important to her. Jack couldn't quite understand why. Why was she so keen on buying a house for the both of them. Especially here in France. Jack could think of so many nice places that lay much closer to their actual homes. Why travelling half around the globe to get some time for themselves? He should finally grab courage and talk about his feelings and worries.
"Lis'-"
"No no, you don't have to explain. I get it.", she let go of him and walked a few steps through the room to look out the little kitchen window where a charming garden lay surrounded by a withered wooden fence. Behind it another mesmerizing view across the sea that was so characteristic for this town.
A furrow deepened the lines on Jack's forehead. She got it. She got what? Did she actually see his discomfort towards this country now? Jack was confused.
Of course, that moment the real estate agent who had been touring them through the house just passed the hallway and with a side glance checked on them, then kept walking realizing that they weren't done talking yet.
He stepped closer, not wanting the woman to hear them arguing their personal divergences over this house. "Get what?"
"Nice like 'I hate it'-nice?"
Hearing her saying this sent a pain through his gut and Jack could only imagine how much he would hurt her confirming it, let alone talk about all the other things that had been bothering him so much the last days.
"No...like... I mean really nice.", Jack finally said and swallowed his true feelings again. He couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth. Not now and not with this lurking real estate agent around.
"Oh?", she turned back and looked up with surprise in her eyes. The excitement back on her face.
"There is more space."
"Sure, that's the only thing."
"And, the vine yards are nice, plus the side buildings, the nice back porch and of course the view. It is nice. But-"
"Here comes the 'but'."
"Let's think about it first, okay? No rushing.", that was the only thing Jack was capable of admitting to put the topic further off, hoping to soon find a right time to open up about his feelings.
"Of course.", she nodded and smiled again before walking past him and taking another look around.
With Lisa stepping into the bedroom, Jack was ripped from his reverie. He looked up to watch her approaching him. Her lips as usual drawn into a smile, her eyes glimmering and her body wrapped into a fluffly white bathrobe. The hair tips were still wet from the shower.
He had to tell her tonight.
Yet the picture of her beautiful smile disappearing from her face broke his heart already.
