AU- Ahh, thank you guys so much all of your comments have been making my days! I expected my story to get lost amongst other works, but I've been given some motivation to keep goin'. I'm not sure where I'll be taking the story, but I hope you guys enjoy the ride. New chapters will come slowly more or less, I'm a slow writer and even slower at editing. Thank you!
Waking up in a bed that wasn't her almost sent Haruhi into a tizzy. She had to take a moment to remember most of what happened last night. After her dad left the host club came in and proposed to her that they should all take a mini vacation and for some reason she agreed. A flash of red formed on her cheeks, embarrassed by her past self's decision making, yet a huge wave of relief washed over her. They had their break from school now and she wasn't sure if she could handle spending her days alone while her father worked. Yesterday's events were a lot and she didn't get to really talk to anyone about it. Guilt swallowed her whole, she was being an awful friend, she had no idea how anyone was handling this situation. She could only assume poorly, HE meant so much to everyone, but just thinking HIS name felt wrong. HE didn't deserve one bit of her attention anymore, but why couldn't she think about anything else. It wasn't fair for HIM to leave, for her to be so upset and HE just gets to live rent free in her head.
Roughly she'd try and rub the sleepiness away from her eyes, pausing to listen to her still very clearly tired lungs. It was nothing like last night, she felt better just very sore all over. She'd take a moment to stare down the pill bottles she somehow knew would be waiting for her on the nightstand. She could vaguely recall Kyoya talking to her about them and luckily for her someone labeled the top of the caps for her. Well at least one of them read 'pain meds'. She decided not to dwindle on the mysteries of the unmarked one, mostly because she couldn't remember and had no idea how to decipher what the medical mumbo jumbo on the label said. With ease she'd swallow one of the pain pills dry after she had a small debate about whether or not she really needed one.
Haruhi carefully pulled her legs off the bed, taking her time to finally get a look at her room. It was smaller than every rich person's vacation home she had been dragged to, at least her room was. It was modern, the colour scheme consisting of black, gray and white with silver objects accenting the small odds and ends. The bed took up most of the space, but there was a dresser that doubled as a desk with a chair in front of it and two of the four walls were windows blanketed by black curtains. She'd find herself in front of one those windows pretty quickly, now realizing she had no idea where she was.
In a dramatic fashion she'd pull the curtain up, pausing for a long time as her eyes traced the silhouettes of the skyscrapers that filled the cloudy skyline. This wasn't what she was expecting at all. A quiet place in the country or even a hip little beach town maybe, but it was hard to think of the city as a real vacation spot. After all, their school is in Bunkyo, Tokyo, why would they just go to another ward? She could only guess they had picked one of the business districts to visit for shopping or something strange that rich people like to do.. At least she could finally see some of the huge buildings that dotted her view from home or Ouran up close for the first time. Yet a bit of dread set in, the sights weren't enough to keep her thoughts free of HIM or the feeling of falling from spreading in strange tingles across her body. Loud plops pushed against the window causing her to flinch a little as rain started to drizzle against the glass.
Her hands fumbled with the curtains a bit, but they fell back into place as she walked away and tried to unfluster herself. Unthinkingly she'd reach for one of two overnight bags, being a little hesitant with them. After all two bags for just her seemed pretty extreme and her dad more than likely packed them. Reasonably she should be worried, but the first bag was filled with school supplies for the projects to be done over the break. The other one was packed neatly with clothes plus, needed toiletries and he seemed to go easy on Haruhi. The frilly clothes were at a minimum this time around. Mumbling a very grateful thank you, she was quick to dress herself in a casual pair of jeans and a simple green tee before moving to the connected bathroom to freshen up.
Hair and teeth brushed, she'd try to convince herself that today would and could be normal. That things would fall into place and everyone would be fine. She would be fine. That she could get rid of these unwanted feelings she had brewing inside of her since yesterday. Haruhi would toil with her inner pep talk for a bit before making her way out of the room. Beyond her door was just a hallway dotted with more doors. As she walked she could see most of them were open, all of the rooms basically resembling hers' give or take some of the host clubs' personal belongings strewn about. A small smile would find its way to her lips, the thought of having a normal -Well what they could call normal after yesterday's events- day with them in some place new felt semi refreshing. Yet, she knew that acting like this was a real vacation to be enjoyed was wrong. She couldn't run from her problems, but the idea of facing them head on was almost crippling. She had to.. didn't she? What else was she to do? Pretend like she almost didn't die over someone who may or may not have had feelings for? Even just trying to figure out what kind of label to put on the relationship she had with HIM was enough to put her into an awful head space. Why couldn't she get over this? Why did HE leave?
Haruhi found herself gasping in loudly for a gulp of air at the end of the hallway, her eyes wide searching for anything, for anyone. She found herself staring at a living room type area, couches, TV and coffee tables. The room was attached to a kitchen, the floor layout open with no real way of discerning where one room technically started or ended. The only person for what seemed like miles stood in the kitchen. With a cup of tea in his hands he was leaning against one of the kitchen counters, Mori's eyes seemed to leer at her from across the room and the silent stare they shared was almost deafening. She could hear her heart beating, feel it's rhythm in the palms of her hands. "Mori! Where is everyone!" She'd say far too loudly, even for someone trying to communicate with their distance.
An eyebrow raised, Mori would nod ever so slightly at her. "Kyoya had some business to take care of and the twins went shopping. Honey tagged along." He'd state in his typical deep tone, the sound of him speaking quickly pulled Haruhi right out of her thoughts and more into the living world. She almost had to do a double take now realizing that he wasn't with Honey, something that really never happened; they were always within spitting distance of each other. Which is something that she personally found amazing, that they were so close and Mori was so devoted to someone. Her strange little panic attack now fully dissolved into one of jealousy, the sad kind, not the kind that breed hate. One that swallowed you in a melancholy feeling.
Moving to the kitchen, she could feel Mori's eyes still on her, but she was fully concentrating on the fridge in an attempt to keep busy. Unfortunately for her and the whole host club, it was empty. "Oh.." She'd grumble softly while closing the door just a little too roughly. After all she hadn't eaten since yesterday morning and she had been teetering between nauseous and starving, but her body felt ready to eat.
"I'll buy breakfast." A voice rang out, Mori standing in front of the door now with an umbrella in his hand as he looked at her expectantly.
"You don't hav-"
"You'll need a jacket." He'd interrupt her quickly, pulling the door open as a show of insisting.
"Okay.." She'd respond after a short moment, disappearing back down the hallway and coming back with a simple blue windbreaker, prepared for the rain. Opening the door for her, he'd motion with the umbrella to have her step out fist. She'd walk out, putting her hands into her jacket's front pockets. She did want a normal day and an outing with a friend could be normal, but she had never really spent any time alone with Mori. It's not like she didn't enjoy his company, it was easy for her to feel safe around him and she always enjoyed the comfortable silence he brought. Plus he didn't seem to flaunt his wealth too much. In fact Haruhi occasionally finds herself forgetting that he's a part of the 'rich people club', making him more relatable than the others. Yet, he always had Honey with him, she didn't really know him, she knew the persona of the two of them. The host club was smaller now, maybe it was time for them to get to know each other. She was sure he was in the same boat with her. How could he know anything about her when they rarely spoke individually?
After a long elevator ride they found themselves out on the streets of Tokyo. Takashi would pause to pull up the umbrella for them and did his best to hold it up in a way that would keep Haruhi more or less dry, but that was easier said than done due to their height difference. He walked slower for her, keeping his normally long strides smaller to match hers and watched from the corner of his eye as she peered at the buildings around them. The streets were somewhat crowded, the sounds of rain and the pedestrians around them filled the space between them. He'd notice how much better she looked from just moments earlier in the kitchen. He wasn't sure if Haruhi liked him very much and it didn't help that she was asking for basically anyone else when she saw just him, but he couldn't blame her too much. Takashi was aware of his wallflower personality for the most part and he was comfortable with himself, but he struggled to understand the emotions of those around him.
He knew good feelings from bad feelings of course, he wasn't that hopeless with communicating, but expressing them was a whole other issue. He always lived inside of himself, watching the outside world with his thoughts trapped inside. Lately though, everyone was full of bad emotions and he understood why, but they all had different ways of coping. Kyoya threw himself into work, the twins were going to splurge and Mitsukuni was going to more than likely eat himself into a sugar coma. Haruhi would typically tell everyone she was going to study, but she would just sit alone and stare out a window like she was looking for something millions of miles away. He knew well enough by now that she too found comfort with her own thoughts and seemed to take alone time when she needed it. Though he could see that distant stare in her eyes, she wasn't requesting to be alone or pretending to get out of social actives. She went with him, why? Sometimes she could be so vocal and honest about her feelings with others. Sometimes she was closed shut and it was hard to tell what she was shutting away from the world. As someone always shut off too, he felt a little hypocritical about wanting to know more. Well he knew the root of the issues, but there was more than just a lost friend.
Tamaki wasn't someone Takashi was super close to, but he admired him, at least until a few days ago. He was a good person, over the top, but he was always trying to help people and that was truly an amazing quality. One that Takashi was jealous of, but Tamaki left and no matter how good of a person he may have been, it just didn't matter anymore. Good people make mistakes, but they don't hurt so many people this badly. Living in the background, in the shadows of Mitsukuni and Tamaki by default was always enough for him, he was okay being the supporting cast in someone else's story. It felt right, but lately he had grown tired of his place in the world. He wanted more, he wanted to do good, be good for those around him in a way that had more of an impact and after seeing how easily someone could ruin five people's well beings so quickly, now seemed like a better time than ever.
Unaware of how long they had been walking Mori suddenly stopped walking causing her to halt quickly. now looking over to him as he opened another door for her. They walked into a simple café that looked like any other cardboard cut out of corner eateries in cities. A waitress ushered them to a table, handing them menus and Mori gave it a once over, but his attention was fully on Haruhi. She'd look up from the menu with a questioning expression after feeling his eyes on her for what seemed like far too long. "How are you feeling?" He'd ask softly and was slightly taken aback by how shocked she looked at the question.
"I'm okay. A little sore and all, but I think I'm getting better pretty fast. " she'd say with a forced gentle smile. It wasn't hard for Takashi to notice how unnatural her new expression was, but that wasn't the answer he was looking for.
"Not that kind of feeling. " he couldn't help, but to sound a little harsh, like he was scolding a child as gently as possible, but he didn't know how to break her barriers and he wasn't very good at beating around the bush either. Her shocked expression came back quickly, clearly not ready for this kind of confrontation. Her eyes broke free of his and moved down to the menu as her fingers absentmindedly started to pick at the corners of the table in a nervous fidget.
"I don't know.." she'd whisper her response quickly and he wasn't expecting an answer like that. How could someone not know how they were feeling?
"Not at all?" His parental tone still somehow shining.
"I-" she'd pause, her whole body going motionless for a short moment. "I know it's not good feelings." She'd state in a questioning tone while shrugging her shoulders. She wasn't ready for this kind of talk and she wasn't expecting Mori of all people to pry. In a Public place no less.
"So it's bad?"
"Yeah?" She'd respond in the same questioning tone again, leaving Takashi to look away from her and to the window. Haruhi followed suit and for a few moments they both shared the same endless stare as they shifted through their complicated thoughts and emotions. Fear lingered inside of Takashi for a moment, concerned with his attempt to reach her, worried that his prying may not be as well intentioned as he liked. Almost dying and losing someone so close to you isn't something to be treated lightly. It wasn't a secret, almost all of the host club knew where Haruhi and Tamaki stood, in fact he was sure they would have been together or at least had some kind of awkward dating phase. No one held a candle to how blind that man could make her. In a way it upset him, knowing that Tamaki more than likely may have been stringing her along. Toying with her like she was just another client . Takashi's knuckles would start to turn white as his fingers curled tightly into a fist, doing his best to hide his anger. He wasn't sure why his thoughts were riling him up so easily. He always thought of Haruhi as a little sister, but she fell into the water and Tamaki didn't even send a text to anyone asking about her. He personally dragged her out of the river, he breathed her back to life. He was always holding back his small feelings for her. He watched from afar, he knew she'd never see him like she saw Tamaki and Takashi felt like she needed someone who oozed confidence and could bring out the best in her. He could be confident, he could make her shine. He could make her happy. He could try at least. He could try better.
Slowly his fingers would unfurl, his eyes looking over his hands on the table. "Haruhi. "
She'd turn to look at him, though he wouldn't notice her lower lip trembling in an attempt to fight back tears. The silence had returned and she retreated back into her head again. Her own voicing yelling in her ears about how alone she'll be. How everyone leaves her. She couldn't possibly be worthy of anyone's company. She couldn't talk to Mori. She couldn't keep her friend.. she couldn't keep her mom. She almost couldn't keep her life, but Mori saved her. Someone didn't leave her. In fact the rest of the host club had stayed with her. She'd shake her head in an attempt to rid herself of the voices that were endlessly bouncing around inside of her. "Thank you for saving me.. " her mouth had seemingly opened and closed itself producing the words for. Her voice cracking as she attempted to gulp down a sob.
A little shocked, Takashi's posture would straighten and harden before reaching out to grab her hands. He found himself creeping forward, his large body easily hunched over the table leaving their faces just inches from each other. Haruhi looked at him with wide eyes that held him in place, he couldn't look away. He didn't want to. "I would do it a million times over if you needed me to." He'd speak softly, just loud enough for them to hear. "I know Tamaki was a good person, he was easy to follow around. Like a ray of sunshine we all soaked up. He knew how to keep us in his orbit and now there's no sun to circle, but I'm still here. I'm not leaving and I know the rest of us are here to stay too. We don't need to orbit each other, we just have each other. I have you, I'm here for you. " A hint of red grew across his cheeks. He really didn't know what he was saying. He had no game plan to his little speech, he didn't necessarily want it to sound so personal, but he just couldn't help himself.
Still wide eyed, Haruhi looked a little frantic, he was so close to her, his hands were so big and warm compared to hers'. She could only wonder if Mori could feel her heart beating in her hands like she could. She could feel it bouncing around, but his words eased her a bit. Her own inner voice that was plaguing her stopped. She only heard him. Him being here for her. It was a lot to take in. She wasn't really sure what Mori was trying to say, but he was right. She did just let HIM lead her around with HIS sunshine. When HE was happy she was happy and she finally realized that that may have not been the best thing for her or anyone in the club. Maybe HE really wasn't a good person, maybe HE just liked the attention. Maybe she didn't give HIM enough and that's why HES gone.
A steady breath would escape her lips. "Promise you'll really stay. You think everyone will stay. " her eyes searching his face for a response as she spoke in the same hushed tone.
"I promise I'm not going anywhere. " he'd slowly let go of her hands and make his way to sitting properly in his chair again. "I just want what's best for you.."
"Thank you. " her face flushing from ear to ear while they shared a comforting moment of silence with each other.
