Lydia
Shortly after dawn the next day, Blue Eyes had been laid to rest beside his mother, under the same tree where he, together with Caesar, had carved the Royal Ape Family's symbol only two years prior.
And throughout the whole thing, Caesar had looked as if the world around him didn't seem to matter anymore. Cold and closed-in on himself, and with a look in his eyes that Lydia couldn't quite describe. It was something she had never seen in him before, something twisted and disturbed and detached. She knew the moment she saw it that she didn't like it one bit.
That look didn't belong on his face. The furious fire that usually burned in his eyes when he was angry had always been warm and passionate.
But now… now that fire wasn't there. It had been reduced to embers among the ashes, as if it had somehow lost what had fed its once so wildly flickering flames. Had lost what had given it life and strength to burn hot and bright inside of the Ape King.
Lydia had wanted to reach out to him as they had left the clearing to make the final preparations for leaving the forest. She had wanted to reach over, stroke his arm and show him her support.
But no matter how much she had wanted to do that Lydia knew that such a public display of affection, no matter how reasonable, given the circumstances, bore with it the risk of possibly exposing their secret.
She also wasn't sure it if would even be welcomed by the Ape King himself right now.
But Cornelius had reached out for her, his arm stretched towards her as he passed by with his father, though he obediently trudged after him when Caesar didn't even make a pause in his step for the interaction to take place. Lydia's fingers only got to briefly ghost reassuringly over the young ape's before he disappeared with his father behind what seemed like a wall of apes, horses and primitive weapons, leaving Lydia to bite her lip in apprehension.
This was all wrong.
Everything was supposed to have been okay after Blue Eyes, Orion and Rocket had returned. It was supposed to mark a new beginning for all of them, but now, the only feelings that prevailed were sorrow, anger and anxiety.
Lydia released a trembling sigh before making her way towards her own black-and-white spotted steed, which was being prepared beside the rest of the Royal Ape Council's mounts. The adolescent gorilla female taking care of the human woman's horse quickly shuffled away once Lydia told her that it was fine, and that she would deal with the rest on her own. Though she had never had a particular interest in horses, Lydia loved animals in general and found that it calmed her to be around them. It was why she had taken in Storm and Blaze all those years ago, and it was why she would always ready her horse on her own.
Speaking of her dogs, they were sniffing around the riverbank, as lively as ever, if a little confused by everything going on around them. Storm had been limping somewhat earlier that morning, but now seemed, to Lydia's relief, to have recovered from the vicious kick she had taken to the chest earlier that night.
At least there is that, she thought as she let her hands glide gently across her horse's neck.
The moment Lydia went to tighten the cinch around the stallion's chest, however, she found herself regretting sending the young gorilla away.
It was that damn arm of hers.
She gritted her teeth against the onslaught of pain as she pulled it upwards, leaning against the horse's flank for support as her the muscles in her arms tensed. The beast stamped his hindleg indignantly and whickered, not used to the method his rider now employed to secure the primitive saddle. Lydia paid it no mind, too busy trying not to squeeze her eyes shut so that she could at least still see what she was doing once she needed to tie the cinch in place.
Before she could do so, however, a large hand settled onto her shoulder, gentle and warm as it drew Lydia's attention away from what she was trying to do.
"Perhaps I should do that, Mother?" Orion spoke, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze before letting go.
A few yards behind him, his own horse stood, nibbling at some weeds sprouting among the stones along the river's shore, with its saddle and bridle already in place. Around the two of them, Maurice and Rocket had already mounted, while Luca was still preparing his own steed. Off to the side, Lake and Ivy were packing up a couple of pelts, tying them together with thick, fibrous chords.
The human woman could feel the concerned stares of both Maurice and Tinker, the latter standing beside her mate's horse, but chose not to pay attention to it.
"You don't have to, Sweetie. I can handle-"
"But I would like to, anyway, Mother." He interrupted, though not in an unkindly manner, as his green gaze fell onto her injured arm.
She followed it down and cursed under her breath when she saw thin trails of blood trickling down her arm from beneath her primitive bandage, the dark red liquid standing out starkly against her pale skin.
"For fuck's sake…!" Lydia huffed in annoyance as she stood aside, letting her son take care of her horse while she went a few yards away, to the shore of the river, to deal with the mess her arm had become.
It had been a somewhat grazing shot, tearing violently through Lydia's flesh and leaving a horrid gash in her upper arm, but luckily, it hadn't hit bones or important veins and arteries.
It would, however, start to bleed if she stretched her arm of flexed her muscle too much, something she had already been made all too aware of when she had dressed for the journey that morning, shortly before dawn.
Adding to that, it hurt like a bitch no matter if she was in motion or not.
All Lydia really did was clean off the visible bloody trails down her arm and tighten the thin strings holding her bandage of leaves, old fabric and herbal paste in place before she returned to her horse once more, doing her best to relax the muscle in her arm so she wouldn't aggravate the wound further.
For now, at least.
The disapproving look Tinker shot at her was met with a shrug. What else was she supposed to do? Everyone was busy enough as it was, and it wasn't exactly like they had all the time in the world to get out of there anyway. Redoing her bandages could wait.
She had only just made it back to Orion, who was fiddling with the fastenings of her horse's bridle, when movement to her right, accompanied by hoots from both Maurice, Rocket and Luca caught her attention.
It was the Ape King making his way towards them, his strides even and steady, while the expression on his face was anything but those things.
Oh, he was trying to hide it, alright. Lydia could tell that he did – but it only came across as a poorly executed façade, the same she had seen just about twenty minutes prior, after Blue Eyes' funeral.
Anger and blind determination thinly veiled by an active attempt to school his features. It came across to Lydia as cold indifference as he approached, coming up to stand right in front of her, with Cornelius clinging to his father's hand, gibbering anxiously.
"Yes?" Lydia asked, a sense of foreboding overtaking her as she regarded her secret lover.
Behind her, Lake and Ivy had stepped closer, the latter moving to stand by Orion.
The eyes of the entire council were on them too – this seemed awfully official…
And then, Caesar began to speak, his voice gentle but firm, respectful but commanding.
She didn't like that sort of tone at all, nor did she like what he was saying.
"You helped raise my son after his mother died, Lydia. Raised him as if he was your own… He will feel safest with you while I am gone."
"Gone…?" She echoed the word with a voice full of confusion.
"Please take care of him." Caesar implored, his eyes shifting from Lydia to Tinker and to Lake interchangeably.
He completely ignored her alarm and puzzlement as he bent down to Cornelius' level, stroking his son's arm as he told him to do as Lydia, Tinker and Lake told him to and be strong while his father is away.
Cornelius' mournful whimpers as Caesar drew back and rose to his full height once more finally had the pieces of Lydia's mind snap back into place.
"Wait, where the hell are you going?!" She demanded to know, brows knitting together as her stare turned critical.
It was the first time Caesar looked directly into her eyes that morning, and yet Lydia felt that he was looking right through her.
He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. From the look alone, Lydia knew exactly where he was going.
"You're going after them?" Maurice signed in alarm from atop his horse, his low, distressed rumble drawing Caesar's eyes away from Lydia.
"Not them. Him." He replied to the orangutan, making both Lake and Tinker gasp in barely-supressed horror.
Lydia just stood there, her face now a stony mask as she processed this. Cornelius, who Caesar had nudged towards her, was squeezing her hand and pressing his face against her knuckles. His cheeks felt damp.
She was only vaguely aware of Luca and Rocket exchanging looks of worry. Of Maurice's continued sounds of concern. Of the sound of Tinker's steps as she moved forward to comfort the little prince.
Lydia squeezed Cornelius' hand.
"But you are our leader!" Orion protested beside her. She knew her son was eyeing the Ape King with a disapproving, hard stare. Could hear it in his tone, the huffing exhale he made at the end of his sentence.
It was concerned, irate and accusing all at once. All emotions that Lydia wanted to express herself right then but just couldn't.
"He must pay." Caesar said simply as he turned to stare at Orion. His words were as hard as his eyes and Lydia very nearly found it in herself to bristle at the way he regarded her adoptive son. "When I kill him, the soldiers will come after me. It will give you all time to get safely out of the woods."
Like hell it will! Lydia wanted to scream at him – but she still couldn't. She suspected it was because Cornelius was still clinging to her arm. She didn't want to scare him.
I bet he knew this, she thought angrily. He knew I would restrain myself for Cornelius' sake.
"So that's it, then?" She found her voice at last, her tone demanding and disbelieving all at once. "You're leaving us? Just like that?"
You're leaving Cornelius. You're leaving the colony. You're leaving me.
You're leaving everything behind for revenge, not knowing if you'll ever come back to us!
Caesar's eyes were like steel as he moved his gaze from Orion and back to her.
"He must pay." The Ape King repeated, as if that was all the justification he needed.
And then, after a last, slightly softer look down at his last living child, who was still gently sobbing into the back of Lydia's hand, Caesar tore his eyes away and turned around, trudging determinedly towards his horse.
"Father! Father!" Cornelius began to sign in panic, accompanied by sorrowful gibbering once he realised his parent, his last living relative, was moving away from him.
Once he realised Caesar was leaving him.
His distressed hoots made Lydia's heart clench and she bent down to lay her arms around the ape child in a comforting embrace. Tinker began cooing softly at the prince before she stared hopelessly up at Rocket, as if begging him to do something. Anything.
Beside her, Orion was staring after the Ape King with a deep frown, making him look at least ten years older than he actually was, while Ivy clung to his arm – whether to calm him down or to ground herself, Lydia could not tell.
Meanwhile, the human woman was fuming, resisting the urge to dig her fingers into something in fear of accidentally hurting Cornelius. He had buried his face against her shoulder, his arms wrapped around her as he quietly whimpered.
You bastard… Lydia thought, and for the very first time in all of her years with the apes, she felt nothing but anger and hurt towards the Ape King as she watched his retreating form. You selfish bastard!
She was too busy staring with eyes full of anger as Caesar disappeared on his horse behind the trees, his departure accompanied by a cacophony of confused, nervous hoots, to notice how Maurice, Luca and Rocket all shared meaningful looks above her head. It was only when Rocket hooted to draw the attention of his mate that Lydia's mind returned to what was going on in her vicinity, and she turned to stare as Rocket came over on his horse, reaching down to gently touch the side of Tinker's face.
"We must go and help him…" He signed, his eyes begging her to understand. To forgive him – Like Caesar's eyes hadn't begged of Lydia.
Tears were streaming down Tinker's cheeks, but the female chimp nodded all the same, squeezing her mate's hand reassuringly before she stepped back to let him ride away with his companions.
Lydia barely managed to acknowledge the stare Maurice directed her way as he rode past, but what little she did manage to catch before he faced away from her was an imploring, apologetic stare.
She knew what he wanted to tell her with those eyes.
Forgive Caesar. He's in a dark place right now. Don't hate him for it.
And please don't follow him like we do.
But Lydia… Lydia looked down at Cornelius, so small and still whimpering in her arms, and she knew she couldn't go along with this.
The look in Caesar's eyes as he had handed the ape child over to her…
Anger.
Determination.
Resignation.
He was going on a suicide mission, and he knew it. He knew he was probably not returning to raise his last living child. He had left that job to Lydia.
In any other situation, she would probably have felt honoured by something like that, her lover entrusting the safety and upbringing of his only child to her – but Lydia didn't see it this way.
No, this wasn't Caesar showing her that he trusted her to take care of Cornelius. This was him abandoning everything he was supposed to love and protect for his own, selfish purposes.
And Lydia would not stand for it.
"Cornelius…" She spoke softly – as softly as she could, at least, given the raging storm inside of her. "Cornelius, I need you to stay here with Tinker. Look after her and help Orion and Ivy and Lake. Can you do that for me?"
He stared up at her, those bright, intelligent eyes shining with tears and his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly – but he nodded all the same as he clutched at Lydia's shoulders.
"I have to go and help your dad, okay? I'm going to make sure he comes back to you. In the meantime, promise me you'll be good to Tinker and everyone else, alright?"
He nodded again, dutifully, and Lydia reached up to brush her hand gently against his cheek. Such a brave little ape child…
"Thank you, Sweetie…" She spoke gently as she kissed his brow. It was strange, using that term of endearment for someone other than Orion, but in this moment, it just felt… right.
At least in this, Caesar had been somewhat correct… She had been a mother for him since Cornelia had died.
Of the four remaining adults standing around her, Orion, Ivy, Lake and Tinker, it was only the latter who voiced any sort of protest, and a weak one at that.
"You are leaving us too?" She signed, her look almost accusing.
Lydia knew why.
Caesar had placed Cornelius in her care. Orion had returned home only yesterday. She and Tinker had been each other's greatest support for the better part of two years. A support they had both come to depend on…
And now Lydia was telling her that she was leaving too.
An almost pained sigh left Lydia as Cornelius obediently went into his honorary aunt's arms, staring between the human and the older chimp with heartbreakingly sad eyes.
"I'm doing this for him, Tinker… Please understand…" Lydia spoke with a pained voice, her eyes begging her dear friend not to hate her for doing this.
"I do understand… I just don't like it." Tinker conceded, shoulders slumping as she hugged the little prince close to her, nodding in acceptance at Lydia.
That makes two of us… The human woman thought, but still found a sense of relief in the fact that Tinker wasn't blaming her for this whole thing.
She then, finally, turned to her son… her eldest son, because she figured that Cornelius counted as hers by now too, even if the idea of taking Cornelia's place still didn't sit well with her, even after all this time.
"Sweetie, I'm so, so sorry, I-I know you've just come back, and I've missed you so much, but-"
"Mother." He interrupted her for the second time that day, though still in that gentle, understanding tone of voice that she found was entirely unique to Orion. "I understand why you need to go. I have missed you so much as well but…"
He looked over at the Ape Prince, Orion's green gaze full of sympathy and compassion.
"I have lost a father… I do not want that for Cornelius…" He spoke quietly, and Lydia felt a lump form in her throat. "You must make sure it does not happen."
Despite it all, the anger at Caesar, the sadness at the mention of Roy's death and the physical pain as her arm throbbed, Lydia managed to smile, pride and love shining in her blue eyes.
"What did I ever do to deserve a son like you?" She asked, and though it was rhetorical, she did truly consider the question.
Lydia had, despite what others might say, never seen herself as a particularly good person. She merely did what she thought was the right thing to do, as anyone ought to, and lived with the consequences of her decisions. She had shunned contact with her own species, even waged war against them. She had killed to stay alive and she had felt great satisfaction in doing so. In getting petty, bloody revenge – much like the one Caesar was now seeking, even if the images of the act itself still haunted her to this day.
So how in the world had she managed to raise such a fine, understanding, selfless and fiercely loyal son? It really was beyond her.
Orion shook his head, a barely visible smile on his lips.
"You and Father showed me that love is wonderful – but not simple. That you do not have to be chipped from the same flint stone to fit together perfectly. And that you do not need to be an ape on the outside to love an ape child." He spoke solemnly, though his voice was warm and full of emotion. "Go, Mother. I will take Blaze and you can take Storm with you."
Lydia bit her lip in an effort to keep her tears at bay and reached over to grab the back of Orion's neck, pulling his forehead against her own.
"Stay alive, Son. Promise me." She implored, her voice almost breaking. She hated having to leave him. With every fibre in her body, she hated it.
"You too, Mother." Orion whispered with a gentle exhale before they both pulled back, nodding at each other.
It was a promise.
She resisted the urge to extend her pinkie like she always had with her brother Matthew back when she was still a kid, and instead turned to Ivy to bid her farewell.
"Look out for each other, okay?" She hugged the small female chimp, feeling her nod against Lydia's shoulder. Her emerald eyes were damp when the woman pulled back, and she grabbed on to Orion's arm for comfort.
As long as they are together, they will be fine, Lydia thought, reassuring herself.
Another quick hug for Lake, and Lydia grabbed her backpack, slinging it onto her back, shortly followed by her quiver and bow. Her horse gave a slight start as she mounted, shaking its head agitatedly once she was settled, eager to move.
She gave a final, resolute nod at Orion and Ivy, and a lingering stare at little Cornelius before giving her steed a firm kick at its flanks and charging towards the forest, Storm right behind her, panting.
It hurt from the very first bounce as the horse settled into a gallop, Lydia's bicep screaming in protest every time the beast's hooves made contact with the dirt beneath it.
The dark-haired woman huffed and knitted her brows as her eyes keenly followed the path she knew the four ape males had taken.
Even if the tracks from their horses' hooves weren't hard to follow, it still took Lydia longer than she would have liked to reach them. She first caught sight of their backs as the forest trail ebbed out into a wider, grassy clearing.
It was Storm's barks of recognition which prompted the four of them to stop and turn their horses halfway around and stare almost dumbfounded at Lydia as she came up to them.
Well, all except Caesar.
The Ape King was staring at her, not in surprise, but in anger.
But that was something Lydia had expected. Something she was prepared for.
"What are you doing here?" He asked darkly once she had reached the four apes, her horse releasing a breathy huff of exertion once she pulled the reins to stop it.
"Isn't it obvious?" She immediately challenged with an unimpressed stare. She had a feeling that Maurice and the others might have been more submissive in their reasoning with Caesar as to why he needed their assistance. She knew they would have had that argument before she had come along. He had seemed hell-bent on doing this thing alone, after all.
Lydia had no intention of being submissive.
"I told you to take care of Cornelius." The Ape King fumed, his voice only a hair's breadth away from being an all-out growl.
It made the horses uneasy.
She scoffed, hoisting the left strap of her backpack higher onto her shoulder. It hurt her injured arm, but she was too preoccupied to even flinch.
"Tinker will do that instead. Together with Lake and Ivy and Orion."
"No." He said immediately after she had finished speaking, the word bordering on an interruption. "You will go back and keep him safe. That is the task you have been charged with."
Out of the corner of her eye, she could just barely make out Luca and Rocket sharing an uncomfortable look. Maurice had begun to rumble lowly in that placating manner of his, but they all knew that it wouldn't help. The air was too tense for something so simple to diffuse it.
Lydia, despite the anger and indignation at being spoken to like that, and by her lover, no less, maintained a calm façade as her eyes stared directly into Caesar's flinty gaze.
"I will not." A challenge, spoken simply and matter-of-factly, but a challenge nonetheless.
A challenge to Caesar's authority over her. Something she hadn't really questioned since that fateful night back at the chimp's childhood home, when Lydia had insisted that she come along as well for the fight with Koba.
That time, Rocket had come to her aid and convinced Caesar to let her tag along. Today, Lydia knew that the balding ape would do no such thing – and she didn't want him to, either.
The sounds of the forest, birds chirping and crickets calling, was all that could be heard as the two stared each other down.
Caesar's hackles raised a fraction at her defiance, thrown so blatantly in his face while in front of his most trusted apes. When he made his dark steed take a few steps forward so that he was almost beside her, facing her, Lydia had almost thought he would grab her reins to try and force her own horse around. To forcibly make her go back, whether she wanted to or not.
Instead, he just stared into her eyes, his lips thin and his nostrils flared as he exhaled. If he could have pushed her with his stare alone, Lydia would most likely have been shoved all the way back to Minnesota by now.
"Why?" He asked simply, though the anger was simmering just below the surface as he spoke – it was almost palpable to her.
And still she didn't budge.
"Because you need me more than Cornelius does right now." Lydia spoke, knowing that it was a risky thing to say. Sure, Maurice knew of the relationship she shared with Caesar, but Luca and Rocket did not, and she figured that now would be a poor time to have to come clean about what was going on between them. But Caesar understanding why she went against him, why she had to, was more important right now. "I'm going to keep you alive and make sure you get back to your son."
He shook his head at her, his anger temporarily diminished, though his expression was still one of denial.
"You do not have to. Maurice has already stated that as his purpose on this journey. You may return to the others now." What little softness for her she did detect in those words was drowned by his utter dismissal of her. Like she was a child who was told to go back to their room.
She frowned at him, straightening in her saddle.
"Well, then Maurice is going to get some backup, because I am not going back, Caesar." She spoke with an air of finality, her head held high as she faced him, his explosive temper be damned.
And for a very brief moment, it did indeed look like the Ape King was about to explode, his chest expanding with a calculated inhale and his stare drilling into Lydia. Behind him, Rocket, Luca and Maurice held very still, though they looked like they were preparing to spring into action and hold Caesar back, should it be necessary.
But Lydia knew better – even if he was furious with her, Caesar would never harm her. He did still love her, just as she loved him, after all, even if he was being an inconsiderate, selfish bastard right now.
In the end, as Lydia had expected, Caesar calmed down, releasing the air trapped within his lungs in what she interpreted to be a sigh of resignation and annoyance.
His green-and-golden gaze strayed briefly down to her injured arm and she just hoped blood hadn't started seeping out again. She didn't need for him to find yet another excuse to try and send her away.
"Fine." He spoke almost sullenly, his gaze returning to her face. "Just keep up. We slow for no one."
He thinks I can't handle this, Lydia realised, instantly recognising the feeling of pure spitefulness as it bloomed inside her chest. He thinks I'll slow them all down. He thinks I'm better off licking my wounds back at the colony.
But I am not! And I won't!
Lydia simply nodded at him, her face a mask of indifference, even if her insides swam with equal parts indignation, hurt, anger and determination to prove him wrong.
"So we best get going, then." She spoke, lightly kicking her horse's flanks, prompting it to trot forward, past the Ape King, at a gentle pace.
The three other apes welcomed her with tentative nods and worried looks – Lydia only acknowledged the former as Caesar turned his horse around and rode to the forefront of the group once more.
And so, the five of them rode on, away from the rising sun and everything they held dear, and just then, it seemed to Lydia as if Caesar was now desperately chasing the waning darkness.
