do not go gentle

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.


Wen Ning watched A-Yuan—now Sizhui, he reminded himself—sleep. Were he still capable of frowning, he would, as he felt the presence of a spirit too close to his nephew for comfort.

But he felt no resentment from it, only a sort of deep, profound sorrow, and love. Even though it had attached itself to Sizhui, it meant no harm.

He said nothing to Sizhui, simply observing until their travels took them back to Gusu, back to Wei-gongzi and Lan-er-gongzi, broaching it after dinner, as darkness fell.

"A spirit?" Wei Wuxian mused, twirling Chenqing.

"No resentment," he said, hoping to reassure Lan Wangji, whose expression was showing minor concern—for him, it meant distress. "Sorrow, and love. I don't know how long they've been there."

Wei Wuxian nodded, brushing his finger against his nose as he often did when deep in thought.

"If they don't have resentment, I don't want to introduce it."

"I would like to know who they are, and why they are attached to me," Sizhui contributed.

He turned to Lan Wangji, and they had one of their silent conversations, and then the latter manifested his guqin. Notes filled the air, and Wen Ning was tickled to realize he could understand them, just like if they were spoken.

-Are you here?

Yes.

As he heard the voice that accompanied the notes, Wen Ning was reminded of, so long ago, voicing the wish that he could cry.

-What is your name?

The question was unnecessary, at least for him, but he found himself waiting for the answer.

Wen Qing.

Lan Wangji's fingers pulled away from the guqin, and he hesitated only a moment before translating.

"Qing-jie," Wei Wuxian breathed. "Oh."

Sizhui looked struck, shocked.

"How—how long has she been with me?" he asked Lan Wangji, who dutifully rendered the question in qin language.

Since my death. I wished to watch over you, watch you grow.

Sizhui sobbed, and Wei Wuxian held him as Lan Wangji translated.

Beyond the jingshi, night was falling, the sound of crickets in the air, the fireflies like short-lived lanterns floating in the air, like the light of the lanterns hung at the Burial Mounds. Wen Ning took it all in and wished he could cry.

He remembered only being separated from his sister, and in many ways he didn't think he'd ever accepted that she had been killed. That any of them had, really. The idea that Granny would never pat his hand and smile gently, that Uncle Four wouldn't laugh boisterously…

There was no more doubt, and he found he preferred the uncertainty, the illusion.

But it was gone.

Thank you for saving him, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you," Wei Wuxian whispered.

Lan Wangji translates to qin, and the strings chime as though in laughter.

You did. Those years were the freest I had ever been. It was fleeting, but my death is not on your shoulders, Wei Wuxian.

The translation left Wei Wuxian sobbing.

"Jiejie…" Wen Ning found himself murmuring.

A-Ning. I am not strong enough to speak to you normally. I could not help you. Your jiejie is sorry for failing you.

"You didn't fail me," he protested. "You d-did your best, just as Wei-gongzi did."

He could see the emotions that warred on his friend's face, the way he doubted himself and whether he truly did enough. But he had died trying to help them. He couldn't do any more than that—and his family had known it, had come to protect him as blood corpses in his hour of need.

"Will you stay?" he asked softly.

I will be here. I will wait for you, when you are ready. The others have gone ahead.

Wen Ning was surprised to feel his face twitch, his lips curl upward into a facsimile of a smile, his emotions overcoming the stiffness of his facial muscles.

She would be here with them, until such time as he tired, decided he wished to enter the reincarnation cycle, and they would do so together.

It was all he could hope for.


For the August 13 Writer's Month prompt "night." Title is from Dylan Thomas's "Do not go gentle into that good night."