Disclaimer: I do not own hunterxhunter. All characters and plot of the said manga/anime are under the intellectual property of Yoshihiro Togashi. This is a work of pure fiction whereas names, OC's, places, or events are products of the author's imagination. If there is any resemblance to actual/real persons, places, or events, then it is pure coincidence. Furthermore, I do not own the cover image and give full credit to its owner.
11/08/2007
From: Raine Maron
To: Terrence Maron
Almost 3 years have passed since she disappeared. Don't worry. I'm still not giving up and I know that you feel the same way. But it would be nice if you could be home for New Year's Eve. Each day that passes, Roan seems to look more and more like you and I don't want him to spend his childhood without ever meeting his father. Would that be possible? For you to spend some time with your family and take a little break?
I know you're trying so hard and doing everything that you can but… Roan needs to see you at least once. I need to see you.
I'm not telling you to forget everything and give up. What I'm saying is that it's time for you to take a break for a while. Come home and tell me everything that you've found so far because I know I can help as well. Come home and rest darling. Come home to Roan. Come home to me.
Sincerely yours,
Raine
Volume 1: Chapter 9
Thank You
"I am from Teradiz, specifically from Khamat."
Kurapika looked at Erin in shock, "What…? But then… How are you here?" The Kurta immediately composed himself and continued, "The Teradiz continent has been a brutal war zone for more than a year now, and no other country or any outside party has been willing to take part in the continent's internal conflict, so how were you able to escape?"
Erin wore her stoic expression as she replied, "Well, when I was still at Khamat, there were already quite a few conflicts in Teradiz, but I left the continent before the actual war began."
"Of course I thought of that," Kurapika then placed his hand on his chin and looked out the window in front of them in deep thought. "However, you said that you were from Khamat. Even before the war, it's a country well-known for being very influential and untouchable at the same time. Many people have dreamed of moving to Khamat with the desire to experience first-class living, not until recently that is…" The Kurta stopped himself and looked sideways at his redheaded companion.
Erin glanced at Kurapika who seemed to hesitate to continue what he was trying to say.
"Go on," she urged him, "I already have a rough idea of what you're about to say, but I want to know exactly how much you know about Khamat."
Kurapika paused but ultimately decided to be straightforward with Erin, "If my sources are correct… Then recently, there have been many rumors exposing that Khamat is actually ruled by a totalitarian government instead of a democratic one, and one of the many national decrees they have is restricting their citizens to leave the country for any reason unless the government itself consents for them to do so."
"Well, that's the least inhumane one out of all their decrees but I guess that much has already leaked out huh?" Erin moved her eyes towards the city below and blankly stared at its beautiful lightscape. "You really are well-informed. That's good, this will make things easier to explain." She paused for a few milliseconds but also managed to notice Kurapika staring at her intently.
He's getting agitated. She thought. But I can't just drop all this information on him. Especially with someone like him…
Memories of Kurapika's sudden quiet yet intense outbursts of rage regarding the Phantom Troupe, and how his eyes would flash a bright scarlet color passed through Erin's mind. She mentally sighed. I have to ease into it.
"It's a normal reaction to be puzzled by how I was able to leave Khamat, let alone, escape the ongoing war of Teradiz." Erin reassured him, trying to diffuse the tension slowly growing within Kurapika.
"I apologize if I'm being too impatient, Erin. But I'm still waiting for an explanation as to how all of this is related to the Phantom Troupe. As far as my knowledge goes, no outsiders can ever really get to Khamat. With such tight national security and elite military, I doubt that even A-class criminals such as the Phantom Troupe would be able to infiltrate that place."
Erin raised her eyebrow in disagreement with his statement but chose to refrain from making any comment.
"So how are you associated with one of them if you've spent your whole life in Khamat?" Kurapika asked as he tried to hide his agitation to which Erin could easily sense.
"I didn't. I used to live somewhere else," Erin replied quickly. "Unfortunately, I can't remember."
"Can't remember…?" Kurapika furrowed his eyebrows then raised them after a brief moment. "Amnesia…?"
Erin nodded. "6 years ago I found myself waking up in an unfamiliar place. I eventually realized I was actually in Khamat. I did not know who I was, who my family was, nor where I came from. I had no memories whatsoever of anything from before I arrived there so I apologize if I can't tell you where I'm really from." Erin spoke so monotonously that if one did not know the context of what she said, one wouldn't ever think that she was confessing as to how she had no memories of her home, family, and identity.
Kurapika looked at her in surprise mixed with concern. "No… It's fine," He replied then looked down, "I'm sorry for what you've been through."
I didn't know she went through something like that. Kurapika thought.
"Don't be. It is what it is." Erin immediately replied with no change of tone in her voice whatsoever.
Kurapika glanced at her. She doesn't sound sad at all. I can't tell if she's hiding it or if she just isn't bothered at all.
In a brief moment, as the Kurta tried to recall all memories of his interactions with Erin and his observations of how she interacted with others, he was now starting to notice a pattern towards her behavior. Usually, she had this demeanor of a seemingly dainty and kind girl who actually possessed a high level of wit and sarcasm – that is the behavior that Kurapika has gotten used to. But then, when things suddenly get serious, or when an unprecedented threat arrives, Erin quickly shifts into an emotionless disposition as if the consciousness of another person enters her body just like how she was currently acting in front of him.
I don't know if it's intentional or not but she definitely has two sides… And if that really is the case, then which one is the real Erin? The Kurta thought but in contradiction, he didn't want to be suspicious of Erin since to a certain extent, he had already formed a sort of attachment to her just like how he did with Leorio and Gon. And yet, because of his personality and past, Kurapika couldn't help but let his cautious nature influence his perception.
The brief moment of Kurapika scrutinizing Erin was halted as the latter continued, "I wasn't the only one who experienced the same thing. There were other children too. 100 of us to be exact."
"Wait… a hundred children…?"
Erin glanced at the Kurta. "Does it ring a bell now?"
"Are you referring to… the Pied Piper Incident…?"
Erin nodded at Kurapika. "What do you know about it?"
"It's the most famous unsolved mystery of the Teradiz continent and baffled the whole world," Kurapika articulately replied, "I don't know the specific details but based on what I've read, a hundred children throughout Teradiz suddenly disappeared on the same day. What's odd is that the number of witnesses to their disappearance is zero. It was as if they never existed at all. Just like how about a hundred children disappeared without a trace in the tale of the Pied Piper."
A brief silence washed over the two as Erin proceeded to give Kurapika a knowing look like she was subtly telling him that what he was thinking was in fact true.
"Are you…?"
"Yes. I was one of those children," Erin answered his unfinished question. She then gazed out the window once again. "Have you heard of the Matryoshkas?"
"… No I don't think I have," Kurapika replied.
"Huh. I guess they are still capable of keeping us completely confidential from the public," Erin murmured in a way that was barely audible to Kurapika who was, fortunately, listening quite intently to her.
"By us… Are you saying that you are a Matryoshka?"
"Yes… and no." Erin then placed a hand on her chest. "By name, I am no longer a Matryoshka but when it comes to mind and body… I would like to say no as well. However, I still think that that is not the case."
"Mind and body?"
"Matryoshkas are genetically altered soldiers. The government of Khamat was planning to create a military force that was enough to conquer not just Teradiz but all continents. They developed us into the most effective bioengineered weapons, and to do that they had to strip every ounce of humanity from us. Lobotomy, hypnosis, neurosurgeries, you name it; they used every available procedure to remove our emotions and the ability to feel physical pain."
With Erin suddenly dropping so much information on Kurapika, he could not hide the shock in his face and could only whisper, "What…?"
The redhead continued speaking after hearing Kurapika speak one word as if it was a sign to tell her that he was still following the conversation. "It didn't fully work though," she said, "The results were inconsistent. That's why they had to do some maintenance on us every year. Some of us lost a certain range of emotions while the others lost the opposite. In my case, as well as the majority of the Matryoshkas, we lost fear, love, joy, sorrow, and sympathy. As a result, the emotions that I had left either became too strong or unstable. From time to time, perhaps more so now, I can feel anger, annoyance, disgust, interest, or curiosity to name a few; but perhaps, the feeling that dominated me the most was cynicism."
Erin glanced at her companion to see an expression that she had foreseen to witness on his face. He looks shocked as expected but I don't see any confusion in his eyes which means he's keeping up well. She thought. I guess my instincts were right in trusting someone as smart as him. Erin then recalled a piece of certain advice that was given to her not so long ago. Hmm… Surprisingly, Abian was speaking some truth regarding the concept of trust… well, so far that is.
"Anyway, the children involved during the Pied Piper incident weren't the first batch of Matryoshkas. In fact, I'm already part of the thirteenth generation and for every generation, 100 children throughout Teradiz would be kidnapped. The first to ninth generations are now reserved secret elite military forces of Khamat and as to how they were able to kidnap that many children without any detection, well… Perhaps I'll tell you at another time." She murmured the last few words she said then faced Kurapika. "Now that you basically know what the Matryoshkas are, I can tell you about the Phantom Troupe member that I was talking about."
Kurapika paused for a short moment, trying to absorb everything that Erin said, then he asked, "Was that member a Matryoshka?"
"Precisely. He was part of the first generation." Erin replied and with the thought of Abian urging her to open up to a person that she felt that she could trust, the redhead decided to continue sharing information. "Of course for each generation, there would always be those who would deviate and the most number of deviants were from the first generation. Those Matryoshkas escaped just like I did and naturally, Khamat would order a number of operative Matryoshkas to hunt down and neutralize the deviants since they were already defective. I was one of those who were assigned to kill the escapees and I was assigned to a few including 0019 who is now part of the Phantom Troupe. However, before I was able to complete my mission, I had already escaped. Still, I was able to do some investigating and gained quite some substantial information that I'd be willing to share with you."
Erin paused for a moment and waited for Kurapika's response but when she was met with silence she darted her eyes at the Kurta to find him speechless. Oh… I think that was too much. Control.
"I'll probably tell you at another time since you still need to rest." Erin finally shifted back to her kind voice and smiled at Kurapika.
The Kurta was now looking intensely out of the window, clearly trying to process all the information he has been given.
He looks incredibly troubled. Erin thought. It's most likely because we're discussing the Phantom Troupe.
Unconsciously, Erin reached out a hand to the Kurta with the intention of placing it on his shoulder as an act of comfort. However, although it was a small movement, barely visible, Erin still saw Kurapika flinch at her outreached hand and so, with an expression that immediately shifted to a stoic one, she slowly pulled back her hand.
Erin looked out the window again. Perhaps… His current agitated state is because of…
"Another error I committed again?" the redhead murmured so quietly that Kurapika couldn't make out the words that came out of her mouth.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing." Erin immediately replied with a distant look in her eyes. "You know… I guess, in a way, I'm also telling you that I'm the same as 19," Erin continued with a cold voice.
Kurapika furrowed his eyebrows at her comment – a gesture that came from both his growing wariness for Erin's connection to one of the Phantom Troupe members and ironically, his blind concern for her emotional disposition.
The redhead looked him in the eye, "After all, we were both Matryoshkas. We both have done the same things. We both have executed orders that caused the demise of countries. We both have wiped out countless enterprises, communities –" Erin shortly paused then broke eye contact with the Kurta, "Families."
The Kurta immediately felt a lump in his throat after hearing the word that Erin just uttered.
"We both have perpetually irredeemable blood on our hands and now…" Erin raised her hand to look at it – the one that she reached out to Kurapika before. "I've never felt so uncertain about something because I… I don't really know what makes us different from each other."
The Kurta stayed silent in deep thought. Erin… My rationality is telling me not to involve myself with you any further but… This is the first time I've seen a sign of vulnerability from you and I don't think Gon or Leorio could have ever made friends with a person who was truly evil.
For a moment, Kurapika couldn't let out the words that he wanted to say as he watched a girl who always seemed so sure, strong, and confident of what she was doing, become reduced to a state of utter confusion.
"Well? Are you still willing to interact with someone like me? Someone who shares the same mark as one of the Phantom Troupe members?" Erin said while remembering the words that Rehan angrily told her back at the tunnel, "If not then I understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me after this –"
"Hold on, Erin." Kurapika said firmly, "Just because you and that person used to be Matryoshkas doesn't mean that you two are the same." He said with a stern voice that also emitted a sense of assurance that Erin wanted to believe but still hesitated to do so.
"How can you be so sure of that?" Erin blatantly asked the Kurta who looked at her with unclouded eyes.
Kurapika placed a hand on her shoulder then said, "Because your past cannot define who you are as a person today and even though I've only been with you for a short while, I've seen how you treat Gon and Leorio – and how you treat them isn't something that someone from the Phantom Troupe or any other evil person would do."
Erin stayed silent but never looked away from Kurapika's gaze; and even though every fiber and muscle in her brain shouted at her to doubt him, to look for an ulterior motive, and to look away, Erin couldn't. In fact, she felt like she didn't want to. She rarely found herself in the position of someone who would receive the look that Kurapika was giving her now. A look of trust. A look that she has received from Gon a few times.
After a few seconds, the redhead finally broke away from Kurapika's gaze.
The two stayed in silence with Erin gazing out the window and Kurapika still keeping his eyes on her.
"Have you actually paid attention to how I treated Leorio?" Erin broke the silence with the tone of voice that she always used for sarcasm. "You can't exactly call it friendly you know?" She then gave the Kurta a sideway glance along with a small smirk.
Kurapika widened his eyes in surprise then chuckled. "Well, you could also say the same thing about me," he replied with an amused voice as he leaned over the window sill while still looking at Erin, "By the way, you really have an unusual way of shifting the conversation. Do you actually do that on purpose?"
"Hmm… Your guess is as good as any other." Erin replied coyly.
Kurapika blinked twice at Erin's sudden shift in demeanor – the one that she uses on Leorio.
"Perhaps we should already call it a night," Erin continued, "You really need to have a good night's sleep after everything I told you."
Do you really think I could sleep after everything we've discussed? Kurapika inwardly sighed.
As Erin stood up from the bench and was about to walk away, she quickly stopped and looked up as if she remembered something.
"Ah." Erin turned to look at her blonde companion, "Correct me if I'm wrong but is this something that I should genuinely feel thankful for?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
The redhead hummed, "I was told that I'm the only one who could ever really tell whether I'm thankful or not but I'm not well-informed of ways to determine when to truly thank someone."
"Oh. I – Uh… I see." Kurapika couldn't find a definite answer to Erin's unusual dilemma and so he chose to honestly reply, "I just want you to know that I meant everything I just said to you and that you don't have to thank me, Erin."
"Well, to put it bluntly, I have to agree. I also think that I'm not obliged to thank you," Erin replied without any hesitation then crossed her arms and looked up in deep thought, "But I was advised to start listening to my gut feeling or based on my understanding – to listen to my instincts? Ah. Yes, he said something about internal reactions to situations or people that I would find highly unusual."
Thankfully, Kurapika was quick to understand certain circumstances and so he was starting to see Erin in a different light.
That's right. Her natural emotional responses have been profusely altered. Kurapika thought as he remembered what Erin said about the Matryoshkas earlier. I'm now starting to see why she acts and says things that are so peculiar sometimes.
"So according to that man, you should listen to your instincts," Kurapika said, "Then at this moment, what do you think your instincts are telling you to do?"
Erin dropped her arms to her sides and paused before answering, "Oddly enough, despite our agreement earlier, they're telling me to thank you. So…" The redhead then showed him a smile that he has never received from her before – the same kind of smile that she had unknowingly shown Gon before. "Thank you, Kurapika."
The Kurta was caught in a momentary trance at the unexpected genuine smile that he received from her and so instead of saying humble words like 'Don't mention it' or "There's no need to thank me', Kurapika reciprocated her smile and simply replied, "You're welcome."
Erin nodded at him. "I guess that's that for the meantime. Now, it's time for you to rest."
Kurapika awkwardly chuckled at Erin's immediate change of pace as if she had already forgotten how wholesome she was just a few seconds ago. Then, he suddenly remembered a question that weighed in the back of his mind since earlier. "Wait… If Khamat is hunting down the Matryoshkas who escaped then doesn't that mean someone's also out hunting for you too?"
Erin looked at Kurapika who was at eye level since he was still sitting. "Of course, though they haven't found me yet. Modesty aside, but it would actually take them years before finding even a single clue of my whereabouts. Why do you ask?"
Kurapika, with a furrowed forehead, briskly stood up and raised his voice, "How careless can you be?! Why would you tell me your true identity if it would risk blowing your cover?! If you're in hiding, you shouldn't just simply share this information with anyone!"
Erin blinked at him. He's angry…?
"You're right, that is something that the old me would have done," Erin replied, "But… the reason why I escaped was that I wanted to know what I was missing; what I used to feel before becoming a Matryoshka; what it was like to truly live as how most normal people would know. To do that, I had to change. So I try to control myself from being too cynical, I try to avoid acting like the Matryoshka I was but it turns out that it is quite difficult. I still revert to that side of mine from time to time. I don't even know if I've changed even just a little bit."
With a small sigh, Kurapika recollected himself, letting all the tension leave from his body then asked, "Still Erin… Why…? To tell me your past even if you barely know me and to be aware that there's a possibility of it somehow leaking out and causing you to get caught and killed… Why would you trust me?"
Erin paused for a few seconds, clearly thinking of a reason. He's right. What I just did was indeed careless.
"Before I left for the Hunter Exam, the man who took care of me when I escaped – the same man who advised me to follow my instincts told me that I should surround myself with good people." Erin continued, "I asked him what kind of people they should be. He replied, 'People who you can trust – trust enough that you wouldn't have any regrets if they ever betrayed you in the future' I immediately thought that what he said was very foolish so I told him that it was impossible for people like that to exist in this world. He merely said, 'There are. You'll just know it when you finally find them'" Kurapika stayed silent as Erin stared out the window while talking. "For some reason, my instincts are telling me that you're one of those people. You, Gon, and Leorio are the good people he was talking about."
The Kurta also found himself looking out the window, wondering whatever it was beyond that Erin was seeing. "You're instincts think too highly of me…" He softly said, "But thank you. I would also like to reciprocate your trust and I would gladly do so."
Erin pulled her gaze away from the window to lock eyes with Kurapika once again. "I see. Well, I was merely just hypothesizing that you three were good people. That theory has still yet to be proven."
Kurapika chuckled, "Then I will do everything in my power to make sure that your theory is proven." The Kurta reached out his right hand in a gesture of a handshake.
Erin smiled at him and reached out her hand without having to doubt that she had to pull away again. She firmly held Kurapika's hand as he also did the same then replied, "Then I will also do everything in my power to make sure that your trust is not in vain."
"Red… Are you okay?"
"I'm fine now." I immediately reply out of reflex, even though those words were the opposite of what I felt inside.
I look up at the numbers once again. There were less than eight hours left.
"I'm sorry that I had to drag you out of there immediately," Gold said while panting as we ran away further from the place where Blue disappeared, "There were other kids chasing after me so it was dangerous to stay there any longer."
My mind was a mess and my body was painfully aching, and so I only managed to reply, "I see."
We continued to run for a few more minutes and despite my limbs screaming at me because of the pain, I chose to run. Away from danger. Away from the chaos. I don't even understand how I was still internally memorizing all the turns that Gold made or any odd details that could be seen in each part of the maze that we ran through, but my mind, in the midst of the mess that it was in, was still automatically taking notes – analyzing. And for some reason, this made me feel disgusted with myself, with the thought of how I managed to quickly calm down after witnessing the horrors of blood and gore and seeing Blue murder a child in cold blood. Then I suddenly shift to an internal thought process of how to escape the maze, and memorizing details. And more clues. And more turns that we make. And the distant screams that I hear. And the echoing footsteps of other children. And the bloodstains smeared on the walls and floors and –
"I think this is far enough," Gold muttered while stopping and leaning on his back on one of the maze's walls then he turned to me, "You okay, Red?"
I take one deep breath and exhaled. My body and mind are unnervingly calm now with no sign of the adrenaline I had earlier.
"I am," I reply. Then I immediately notice it. I swore I noticed. At the moment, all my senses are extremely heightened and so I noticed the ever-so-slightly frown that washed over Gold and the subtle clench of his jaw.
"That looks really painful," Gold said with a concerned voice as he stared at my broken nose, "Here let me help." He then moved his hand towards my face. A sudden urge to slap away his hand overcame me as I recollected all the small moments wherein I noticed Gold's odd facial gestures. But I held back myself and let him cup my face with one hand, and with his other holding my broken nose then popping it back into place. After all, there was no clear and solid reason for me to suddenly slap his hand other than the quickly formulating doubts flowing through my head. Perhaps, I was just too sensitive after everything that had happened with Blue back then.
As soon as Gold dropped his hand – the one that he used to fix my nose, he blankly stared into my eyes for a fraction of a second. His other hand was still holding up my face as I felt a shiver went down my spine after feeling him slightly clench my jaw. Or was I hallucinating it?
"Gold…?" a soft voice echoed from the end of the hallway that we were in.
Gold and I turn our heads to look at the girl with cherry-blossomed hair slowly peeking out the corner.
"April!" Gold happily exclaimed and briskly walks towards April.
April, with an incredibly relieved expression, rushes towards Gold and gives him a tight hug.
Gold returns her gesture then pats her head. "Thank goodness… I was really worried for you." He then pulls away and crouches to look April in the eye. "Are you hurt?"
April shakes her head in assurance.
Feeling glad to reunite with April, I also give her a hug, trying to push away all the peculiar thoughts running inside my mind. "It's really good to see you April," I say, "Have you encountered anyone else? Or is anyone chasing you?"
"N-no… I… I just avoided any sign of another child's presence. But I was only looking for you, Gold, and Blue."
Gold and I exchange a short glance with each other, probably thinking the same thing about April.
"I see. That's very smart of you April," I tell her with a comforting smile.
"Good job," Gold added while still crouching in front of April.
"Now," I said then looked behind us to view the few passages that I was constantly checking out earlier, "We should figure out what our next move is. There are less than six hours left and it's safe to assume that every child that's left in this maze would have the objective of killing someone. I've kept track of the last footsteps or screams that I've heard for the past few minutes and where their possible positions are so –"
I immediately stop myself from talking as I hear a cracking sound then a thud come from behind me and in an instant, a sinking feeling started to form inside of me as I slowly turned my head back to look at a scene that was the fruition of all the suspicions that I chose to ignore ever since I woke up in this godforsaken place.
"Good job, April." Gold warmly said as he patted the head of the already lifeless April lying in the ground with her eyes wide open.
He slowly stands up and stretches his arms with a groan nonchalantly as if he just sat up from a chair that he was sitting on for a long time.
He just killed April. He probably snapped her neck like a twig then let her aimlessly fall to the ground. Then Gold's gaze landed on me. Afterward, he showed me a smile that you wouldn't think to see on a boy who just murdered someone – a smile of amusement.
"You too, Red. Good job." He said in a way that felt both gleeful yet cold.
My mind quickly spiraled into an intense barrage of recollection of observations until it finally stopped with three words echoing in my head: I KNEW IT.
For the first time since we met each other, I glared at Gold with all the hostility I could muster and as he raised his eyebrows with a sickening gratification, I could tell that he knew what I had realized.
"I knew that there was something special about your mind," Gold said as his figure started to glitch, "That's why it would've been such a shame if I chose to kill you but it's a good thing that April kept my words in her mind."
I recall his words, 'As long as we stick together, we'll get through all of this!'
Gold looks up at the clock in the ceiling. "Well, I guess you've got about 6 hours left. I hope to see you on the other side" He gives me a warm smile – the same one that he gave the first time we spoke. "Since it was amusing to watch you try and figure me out all this time, I suppose I should thank you, Red."
And then he vanishes.
Author's note: Dear readers... Please don't kill me coz of the hiatus HUHUHUHU It's soooo good to be back! If you're still sticking around, I'm amazed by your patience so thank you so much! Your comments/reviews really matter to me, especially when it comes to motivation so MWUAH!
To Yume from Chapter 8: To be honest, I'm also still wondering who Erin's ending partner will be HAHAHA I've already got someone in mind but it really depends a lot on what kind of flow the story will get into so I guess feel free to ship her with anyone! *intense eyebrow wriggling* coz I'm probably gonna confuse y'all a hell of a lot! Teehee ~
Once again, stay safe everyone and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
