THE NETHER *WITH HOT JARON AND LOTS OF PEE...LIKE LOTS*: DRACO'S POV (CHAPTER 1)

In HOGWARTS thy magic wizard school, there was trouble brewing in a cauldron.

Darco wanted to be alpha, but everybody called him a wuss.

Draco became angry, but he couldn't show his emotions so he became Emo.

Randomly, Hairy Pottery came up to him and told him that they needed to make an important potion or else Dumbdoor would expel them.

So Hairy Pottery decided to disguise himself as pottery.

He used Poly Juice Potion, but he messed up and only his legs became pottery.

"What have you done?" Darco screamed in a heavy british accent.

"Hairy Pottery-LEGS!" Herorime screamed at him.

"I-I- You look ama-z-z-i-ng. Said Draco.

Hairy ignored this and said, "Heromine, why are you cosplaying as herobrine again?"

*dramatic narration begins*: In a faraway land, stands the great kingdom of Carthya….lead by an idiot.

"Draco why are you making out with that apple? Said Hermione. "Uh. It isn't an apple", the apple said.

Getting back to the point Hermione said, "The real reason I'm dressed up as Herobrine is so I can create a suspiciously nether looking portal that will bring us to the middle ages."

'Will I get to meet George Washington?" Dragonco man said.

"Maybe we will get to meet Grodric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, Helga Hufflepuff, and Rowena Ravenclaw!" Hermione exclaimed.

"GUYS, WE"RE GOING FOR A REASON! WE NEED TO GET THE INGREDIENTS FOR A POTION THAT DUBLEDORE WANTS US TO MAKE OR WE'LL GET EXPELLED. WIth that, he did a somersault into the suspiciously nether looking portal.

The atmosphere was purple, and I realized our game was crashing. "CAN HOGWARTS GET BETTER INTERNET?!" Dumbman Hairy screamed. PEE

*Draco screamed like a little girl. "MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" He creamed.

When Draco opened his eyes again, he was in a random town. There were some people who gave him funny looks and some people even screamed in fear.

Just then, they heard...a horse?! Oh yeah, the had those STUPID things here. "I hate Roden." Some idiot said. Turns out, that idiot was king.

Then Draco saw the MOST hot girl he had ever seen. "I mean Pansy isn't here….. And all the other fangirls." He whispered.

I HAD to shoot my shot while the others hadn't come through the portal.

I went down on my knees for this one. "YOU ARE A PRETTY WOMAN, MARRY ME." Turns out, it wasn't a woman. The dude took off his wig and revealed a crown. "I'm flattered."

"I-I-I-I Yo-o-u are stunning. JK you are so ugly." said draco. *Draco then barfed out of pure disgust.*

"ExCUSE YOU?" The king guy said. "DUNGEONS, NOW!"

I almost peed. "WHAT. MY PARMESAN RECORDDDDDDDD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" And then I actually peed. I hadn't peed ever since I came to Hogwarts. I have an iron bladder. And so, a pee waterfall came out.

"I have a girlfriend, a family, a promise. PLEASEEEEEE LET ME GOOOOO." said Draco, still he hasn't peed in seven years he was in there for….. A while...about 2 days...actually 5 weeks. "The legend of peeing Draco." hairy man mocked. He ended up drowning in his own pee. And that is the end of the story, Hairy Pottery said. "Haha so funny,'' said Draco.

As I was still peeing they dragged me to the dungeons.

My pee was so violent that it damaged the floor. So toxic, that like 5 people died. And so painful, that I screamed in agony, WHILE STILL PEEING.

Suddenly the squad came in (aka Hairy and Hermione.) " MALFOY, WE SAW YOUR PEE TRAIL THAT LED HERE, WE CAME TO BUST YOU OUT SO WE CAN GET THE POTION INGREEDIENTS."

"MAKE POTION THAT MAKE ME STOP PEEING PLZ" DARKO SCREAMED, WHILE PEEING. "ALSO GET ME NEW CLOTHES WHILE YOU'RE AT IT."

"Okay fine," Hairy rolled his stupid hairy eyballs, "That will be our side quest, but now our quest is to get the potion ingredients. Also, we need to get you out of this cell."

*deep inhale* "I will wield the power of pee." Dracoelkkwjjj said, as he magically stopped peeing. Then, he whipped out his wand and made a pee sword.

Being the only one with a brain, Hermione used her wand and magically all the bars dissolved.

"Now we go off and do magic quest!" Pee sword screamed. In that moment, I realized my pee sword wasn't pee…..it was a person. I turned a nearby person into pee. "The name's Roden, you idiot."

I SHREIKE "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I TURNED SOMEONE INTO A PEE SWORD"

Just then, we heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "Roden?" A young voice said, around 13-years old. "Fink." Roden the pee-sword that wasn't actually pee scowled.

"The name Fink sounds utterly threatening, LETS GO!" Hairy suggested, Grabbed my hand (tee hee) and we bolted. Roden screamed the whole time.

"WHY IS RODEN PEE!?" The boy, (who was named Fink) SCREAMED. "RODEN'S PEE?!" Another voice chimed in. "NO, TOBIAS...STAY OUT OF THIS."

WHO WERE THESE PEOPLE? IT DIDN"T MATTER WE KEMPT RUNNING UNTIL HAIRY IDIOTICLY SLIPPED AND ALMOST DIED ( HE FELL HE DIDNT DIE DONT WORRY)

BUT THEN HE DID DIE. A GUARD SLICED OFF HIS HEAD WITH AN AXE. BUT HE USED MAGIC AND THEN LIVED. THE "GUARD" WAS FINK.

I COULD SEE IT IN HIS CHILDLIKE EYES. "guys run some more fast!" I SQUEAKED, WE MADE OUR WAY OUT OF THE DUNGEON

"CAN I NOT BE PEE ANYMORE!?" Roden SCREAMED. "No no no, you are important on or grand quest." Herobrinee said. "And if you are pee, then you are away from mean king man and can't help him."

I knew there was only one way out of this sijuation, the kid, Fink looked idiotic so I chucked Roden somewhere and screamed, "FETCH." I could hear Roden screaming

We ran faster, until we were met with a dead end. Nursemaids blocked our path. NURSEMAIDS.

"You guys look like such innocent children" one of them croaked, "such innocent children, do you need a place to stay? Like maybe a castle for plot reasons?"

Hairy dairy nodded. "I want to be wizard." The nursemaid looked disgusted. And became a nursemad; mad nursemaid. "WITCHCRAFT, TERRIBLE! GO DIE ON THE STREETS."

Hermione started SOBBING "PLEASE MA'AM WE'RE ONLY LIKE 17 PLS"

*BARF* "Teenagers, EW." The nursemaid screamed. And in that moment, pee sword Roden slashed her neck and her head fell off.

Hairy gasped, "OMG! So, you're on our side now?"

"No, I'm just really bad at choosing my loyalties." Roden pee said, just as somebody stood over them. "Impressive." Jaron said, gazing over at the dead nursemaid. "Such a shame. I was going to pay her like 50 garlins if she actually got the job done."

It was the man I thought was a hot woman! "Pls let us live pls"

"Ok,together." Jaron said, gazing at pee roden man. "Also, make him not pee."

I didn't even know how I made him pee in the first place, "Ummm NOTPEEANIMOREIOSAAAA" And just like that, The pee sword was no longer, what a shame.

"You'll have a new nickname once we return back to the castle." Jaron teased Roden, who clearly was not content."

Hairy summoned a carriage and we rode it back to the castle.

Now Roden had a new nickname. "COMMANDER PEE." Jaron shouted, so the whole castle could hear.

And before we knew it. We were swept into luxury. But it was the middle ages, so they were on a budget. Also, they didn't even ask for our names, were people's brains just smaller back then?

Jaron cleared his throat. "I'm hot, get over it...Draco." Draco blinked, flushed. "Of course." He hadn't meant that.

"Why are you three even here?" Jaron asked staring me in the eyes soulesly, like he knew how to murder me.

I caught my breath and stepped back, still blushing. A little pee slipped out too. Luckily, Heromineo spoke for me. "Well we kinda come from a present time….uh….specifically around the year 2000." Jaron stopped smirking and turned his gaze towards her. "That's not possible." He forced out. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Anythings possible when I'm around you." I said, immediately covering my mouth after I said that. I also hadn't meant that. Gosh, I had to stop speaking out of turn.

"We need a bunch of things…." Hairy said, then magically a scroll popped out, plot conveniently with all the potion ingredients of it, "We need ummm ummm a lock of an important persons hair, we need a stupid person's toe nails, we need a eyelash from specific person, and finally we need. 9876543 karat gold."

Jaron blinked, and then said, "You're lucky you weren't explaining that to Tobias. He would have a stroke because of the lack of detail you gave. But saints, be more specific."

"No. That's literally what the scroll says." Hair made the scroll levitate into Jaron's face.

"WITCHCRAFT, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" Jaron said, screaming like the gentleman he was…..so….HOT. He flung his beautiful fists at the paper, but then missed and punched me in the face. What an honor.

"HEYYY! Hermione screamed LOUDLY "PLS DONT BREAK THAT SCROLL WE HAVE REALLY BAD MEMORY PLS. But if you could help us that would be nice." smh she ignored me being punched grrrr my father will hear about this one! ? ゚リᄀ? Ow that punch rlly hurt! It hurt so bad I didn't even notice the wedding ring on his finger

I lunged backward and recovered from the blow, gazing into Jaron's endless green meadows for eyes. Just then, Roden hit me on the head with a rock. He pulled me in close and grunted something along the lines of, "He's mine." or "Stay away from my love."

"Smh" I said aloud, "I am requesting again in my british accent that you pls help us pls find the…. Items."

That clearly didn't work. So I had to take matters into my own hands. This was getting old. I summoned a pee tsunami threateningly. "Don't question or challenge your superiors. Are you asking to become a...hands- I mean pee-sword too? Maybe even worse."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" RODEN AND JARON SCREAMED REALLY LOUDLY "OKAY WE WILL HELP YOU GET YOUR SUSPICOUS ITEMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

And that was the last thing I heard before blacking out. Controlling pee tsunamis was hard and used a lot of energy, believe it or not. Note to self, date — marry Jaron and move on with life.