Laying in her bed, Luna couldn't help but feel the dreaded sense of sorrow after what happened last night. She feared that something like this might happen after the discussion she overheard a few days ago, it was just painful to know that one of her worst fears would come true. Hearing a light knocking at her door, "enter."
Seeing her door pushed open, Io slowly entered in. "Luna, they're about to leave." she informed her. "Are you not going with them?" she questioned. Kneeling beside the bed, Io looked over at Luna, seeing the frustration in her face.
"Nope." Rolling over to her side, "as our 'leader' told me last night, I was not allowed to join them on their restocking mission." she answered Io. Feeling Io grab hold of her arm, she began to pull her up. "What are you doing?"
Releasing Luna's arm, "trying to help you up, you seem very down." she bluntly told her. "I don't like seeing you so sad, when you feel sad I feel sad for you." Io admitted, sorrow in her eyes. "I don't know what may have caused it, but I want to do whatever I can to help make you feel better."
She couldn't help but smile, it made her feel better that Io was trying to comfort her in her own strange ways. Grabbing Io's hand, "I appreciated what you're trying to do Io, but I think I just need a moment." she told her.
Golden eyes gazing at her in sorrow, "I see."
Luna felt terrible, feeling like she was just kept pushing Io away. Ever since their arrival she had barely spent any time with her, their only interactions were the brief conversations that they would have from time to time. "You know what…. Io, if I may, can I confide in you?"
A glimmer of joy sparked in her eyes, nodding her head. "Of course, I would also like to do the same."
Smiling, Luna motioned for her to sit on the bed with her. "I'm sorry if I haven't really spoken or hanged out with you lately…. Ever since we got here, I've just been focused on helping Louis and Yakumo on their mission. I feel like I owe them because they're letting us stay here and taking care of us."
"It's alright, I understand." Io comforted Luna, "I'm sorry that I cannot do more, I'm not a capable fighter…. I would only be holding you back if I were to join you on the battlefield, but at the same time it frustrates me that I cannot be at your side when you leave. All I can do is stay here and wait for your return."
Hearing the sadness in Io's voice, it hurt Luna. "Io… it would be nice for you to join us, but I don't want you to blindly throw yourself in danger. I know it might suck being stuck here all the time, but I'm grateful that the others have taken care of you while I'm away. It honestly helps knowing that you're safe, and that those around you are people we can trust." Luna told her truthfully.
Io looked at her confused, before smiling. "You sort of sound like Louis." she joked.
Shaking her head, he was the last person she wanted to be compared to, "don't say stuff like that I'm nothing like him." she stated.
Getting up, Io started to walk towards the door. "But you guys are very much alike…" she said. Seeing a hint of regret in her eyes, "I hope I didn't offend you…" she apologized.
Shaking her head, "no you didn't…" she told her, "I'm sorry, anyway I'll be out soon, ok?"
Watching Io leave, Luna shook her head. She had no doubts that everyone was completely aware of the rift between her and the guys at the moment, but could they really blame her? Taking a few deep breaths, Luna walked out of her room as she tried to figure out what to do since she was at base instead of on a mission.
She hadn't had free time like this, not since she joined Louis's team. It was strange, but the idea of having so much time on her hands was foriegn to her. Approaching the sink, Luna could see the dark circles under her tired eyes. "Maybe I'll take a nap today, see if I can actually get some sleep." she said to herself.
Turning the faucet on, Luna splashed the cold water onto her face, trying to wake herself up. Wiping the liquid away from her closed eyes, "I just wish there was one night where I didn't have that dream, that I didn't have to see Cruz in it. Is that so hard to ask?" she thought to herself before slowly opening her eyes.
Luna froze as her gaze was locked onto the mirror, an icy chill running down her spine. Glancing over her shoulder she could see that no one was behind her, but the mirror showed otherwise. Standing behind her, Cruz smirked at her; emptiness in her pitch black eyes. The dark blue aura seeping around her, Luna could feel the air around her starting to thin making it harder for her to breathe.
"Aww you don't look happy to see me…" Cruz spoke, her voice slightly distorted. "Are you not happy to see me… Luna?"
Pain coursed through her body, at the same time it felt like her body was stone. Unable to move, unable to drop to her knees or run away from what she was seeing. Luna watched as Cruz grabbed the ends of her hair, feeling the locks of hair move Luna didn't know what was happening. Every time she had ever seen Cruz it was always in her dreams, never when she was awake. "What are you-?" she was barely able to whisper the words.
"You say you don't want my power, but you will call for my help again soon. I know it." the darkness in her voice, the sheer amount of confidence in it was enough to make Luna start to sweat. "Think about it…. You almost died without my help… who knows what'll happen if you refuse to let me help you."
"I don't need your power…" Luna stated, wanting to keep good on the promise she made to herself. "I won't become the monster that you are…. I won't betray my team."
Cruz laughed, the demented joyfilled laughter made Luna's blood boil. "What good will your team be to you if they're dead because of your mistakes." Cruz whispered in Luna's ear, "you can't keep this up forever Luna…. You'll beg for my power, to save your friends… especially that man… And when you do, I'll be back… and you…. You might not be in control..."
The chains of fear that once surrounded her were now lifted as Luna quickly turned, swinging her arm but hitting nothing. Panting, she slowly looked back at her reflection in the mirror, but could no longer see Cruz standing behind her. Turning the facets, Luna splashed the cold water on her face. She couldn't get over the void in her eyes, she had been lost in the neverending darkness of her gaze; the way she held power over her just from those brief moments.
She wanted to cry, to scream at the swirl of rage and agony that she felt from that interaction. "I need to get stronger…." Luna said to herself, determined to not use the power that was inside of her. "I won't lose…." she tried to say to herself in belief, but in the back of her mind she felt a sense of doubt.
Hearing something fall behind her, Luna jumped. Turning around she could see Coco carrying a few large boxes in her arms. "Luna, give me a hand please?"
"Sure!" Rushing over to her, Luna grabbed a few boxes from her arms, "geez Coco, how much stuff do you have in these boxes?" Luna felt as if the bottom could give out at any moment as she put it next to the others that were placed by her car.
"Not much, just the essentials and a few other things." she said, "you ok?"
"Ummm…." Luna took a deep breath, it was something she thought heavily about for the last few days but ultimately decided that it was for the best. "Yea…." she sighed. Grabbing a lock of her hair, the hairs on her arms stood up just recalling the feeling of her hair moving. "This is a reminder isn't it? Of your power inside of me…."
"You sure?"
Without thinking, "actually, do you know how to cut hair, Coco?"
Receiving a strange look from the older woman, Coco put her hand on her hip. "I know a little, why?"
Luna knew that it was a strange request but she needed to get this done, "can you cut mine please?" she asked her, "don't get me wrong I love my hair being long, but maintaining it and making sure the silver ends look clean is a giant hassle."
Shaking her head, "I mean I guess, just give me a second to find a pair of scissors. Go sit in one of the bar stools." she told her. Quickly walking over Luna sat down, rubbing her arms. She knew that this wasn't going to change anything, but it would at least give her some peace of mind. "Are you really sure about this?"
Nodding her head, "positive."
Hearing the scissors snip away at her hair, Luna tried to clear her mind of what she had seen earlier. As far as she was aware, Cruz could only show herself to Luna in her dreams but this was reality. She saw her, heard her, felt her, threatened her. "I need to get this under control before she actually does take control of me… but how do I do that?" Luna questioned.
Cutting away the silver locks of hair, Coco was purely focused, "this is a lot of hair that we're getting rid of," she noted seeing that Luna's hair now only reached down to about her hips. "I bet it's hard to fight with all of it."
Luna laughed, "nah, it takes forever cleaning all the blood and dirt out of my hair." she said, hearing the snipping of the clippers part of her felt a bit upset for some reason that she was no longer going to have the silver tips to her long locks, "I do appreciate you doing this for me."
Brushing her hair, Coco examined the layers ensuring that they were even, "don't worry about it, I just hope a certain someone will like it as well." Standing in front of Luna, "do you want bangs or anything?"
She didn't know what to say, "uhh… maybe, but nothing too short." she answered her. Luna watched Coco take a section of her hair and began cutting it, the trimmed locks falling over her left eye at a slight angle just barely over her eye. "What do you mean by a 'certain someone'?"
Smiling, "do I really need to say anything? I'm talking about Louis."
Rolling her eyes, "I don't think he would even care."
"So you think." Coco said, "look, I know that you and Louis had a little argument last night. I won't pry for details and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but he did seem a bit upset this morning when he left."
Looking down at the ground, "I don't know why, he's the one who told me that I couldn't go with them."
Shrugging her shoulders, "it's not really my business, but if you want my opinion I would try to see things from his perspective."
"What do you mean?"
Brushing her hair, Coco pulled it into a high ponytail, "think about it, before finding all of us Louis, like all of us, have seen many lose their lives or succumb to frenzy. When we all came together as a team, it was hard for him to adjust but he took on the role as leader in our group. He knew that every decision that he made needed to be carefully throughout to ensure that we survive and for his research." she explained.
"I get that but-"
"Let me finish," Coco cut her off, "sure there were things that he decided that maybe didn't seem right to us at first, but you have to take a moment to think about the pressure he's under every day. There's never a day that he's not researching or planning for expeditions, even with Yakumo's help it's still not enough to make a dent in his stress."
Luna sighed, "I guess I didn't really think about it like that." she whispered to herself, feeling a sudden wave of guilt wash over her. "I knew Louis was the leader, but how much stress is he under?" she questioned to herself. "When are they going to be back?"
Coco stopped for a second as she tied up Luna's hair, "probably tomorrow, the worst they've been gone is about five days."
"Five days?" Luna inquired, "isn't that a bit long for a restocking mission?"
"Not really, you've seen the outside world." Fixing the segments of hair that framed Luna's face, "you have to search every part of every route you take to ensure that you find everything. Personally I try to stay close when I go out looking, but I'm also not very skilled in combat. Anyway you're done, why don't you take a look?"
Getting off of the bar stool, Luna walked over to the mirror, a smile pulling at her lips. There was no longer any trace of silver in her hair, Luna knew that even though she had removed it, it would never remove what was still inside of her. The length of the ponytail still reached down her back, running her hands through her hair. She noticed a part of her hair was braided. Touching the ends of her ponytail, "I know this won't cut whatever ties I might have to Cruz, but at least I won't have to see it anymore." The constant reminder was gone, a small portion of her felt free, but Luna wondered how long this feeling would last.
"This is amazing, thank you so much Coco!" Luna thanked. "If there's anything I can do, let me know and I'll see what I can do."
"Well, there is one thing…."
Luna stood on the balcony looking out at the setting sun, everyone had decided to go to bed early tonight; leaving her alone, "it's been almost four days," she muttered to herself in concern. The mere thought of a restocking mission to her meant it would only be a day or two at most, not this long. "If they aren't back by tonight, I'm going after them." she decided, even with the others telling her that they would be fine Luna wasn't willing to wait for them to return much longer. Despite both of them being very competent fighters, there was still the chance that something could have happened to either of them.
Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Luna walked out into the lounge sitting on the long leather couch. Resting her head in her hands, she tried hard to keep herself calm which proved to be harder than she thought. "Please make it back ok, please…." hoping to herself, Luna sat on the couch for what felt like hours as the remaining bits of sunlight were beginning to fade.
Standing up, "that it! I'm going to look for them!" she decided, rushing into Murasame's vault she threw her bloodveil on, the difference in weight made her feel a bit better for when she would be in combat as it was much lighter than the Ivy one. Clipping the frame on her face, she was about to put on her mask when the sound of footsteps echoed in the vault.
Rushing out, Luna felt an immense sense of relief seeing her male comrades walking away from the mistle; despite them looking physically drained. Yakumo glanced over, noticing the female Revenant that was readying herself for combat. "Luna, what are you doing?" he asked, putting his weapon and satchel on Murasame's bench.
"I was starting to get worried, you guys were gone for longer than what I expected…"
Yakumo put a hand on Luna's shoulder, "relax we're fine. It's not like you to get all worried about us," he joked, "we ran into some trouble out there, but nothing we couldn't handle. Right, Louis?" they both looked over at him as he made his way towards their rooms without saying a single word to either of them, his sword and satchel resting next to Yakumo's on the bench.
Taking off her bloodveil, "I guess he's upset with me still?" Luna pondered, already knowing the answer.
Walking behind the bar, Yakumo set a bottle and glass on the counter. "He's not upset with you, he's more upset about the situation I'd say." sitting in the stool, he poured the amber liquid into the glass. "Which reminds me, I owe you an apology."
"Apology? What for?" she asked, pulling up a seat next to him.
Sipping his drink, "back in the Trenches, from keeping you away from combat." he stated, "Louis told me about your guys' little fight before we left and it made me realize that neither one of us thought about how you might feel." he admitted, still feeling upset with himself. "It wasn't right what we did…."
Looking down at the dark wooden bar, "you guys are the leaders of our group. You were only doing what you thought was best."
"No we weren't." finishing his drink, he poured himself another glass, "your power is a blessing, but we fear that despite all the good it can do, it may even be your downfall. That's the biggest worry we had going into there, we wanted to avoid you having to use it; even if it meant limiting your ability to fight."
"And potentially getting yourselves killed?"
Yakumo smirked, "guess it wasn't really a well thought out idea." looking over at Luna, "but regardless, I'm sorry for what happened back there."
"Apology accepted," she smiled, her gaze turning towards the other side of the base. "At least that's one thing taken care of…" Remembering what Coco told her the other day, "well there is one thing…. Make peace with them when they get back." her words echoing in her head. "So what exactly happened to you guys?"
Setting his glass down, "this might be hard to believe but getting supplies nowadays is harder than you can imagine," he sarcastically informed her. Pointing to the satchels, "we were planning to be back sooner managed, but the Lost and miasma proved to be a challenge for us. The swarms just keep growing, to be honest it would have been nice to have you out there with us…."
"Yeah…." she whispered, "I wish, I could have gone with you guys. If I did, I could have helped restore the plants that can clear the miasma and given you guys some back up in battle…. But I guess we all have to learn from our mistakes."
Nodding his head, "no kidding, listen before we go back out there I think it's important that the three of us train together." Yakumo suggested.
"What do you mean?" Luna questioned, as far as she was aware, they were all pretty in sync from the moment she joined them, except for back in the Trenches.
"I mean that we need to start working more as a team, sure we know how to fight but that's only part of it. We're not completely in sync, not like we should be. After our last battle it had me thinking about what we could do to ensure that we are all pulling our weight equally," Yakumo explained to her. "Instead of sacrificing ourselves to protect our own team. You made a pretty good point, Louis and I have been protecting you but that's because he and I are so used to fighting together…. It's been a long time since we've had anyone else join us.
"So in a sense…. I kind of threw your guys synchronization out of whack…"
Chucking, "well yes and no, but what do you think?"
"I think it's a great idea," she told him. "When I first woke up I had partnered with another Revenant during my brief enslavement, but it felt strange fighting with him. If I'm being honest…. I felt better fighting on my own…."
"Until you got poisoned," Yakumo reminded her.
Crossing her arms, "hey I didn't know those things were poisonous." she huffed. "Anyway, I hope it helps us with our investigation.
"That's funny. Louis said the exact same thing when I brought it up to him," Yakumo told her, "in fact he and I talked about a few other things…."
Piquing Luna's curiosity, "like what?"
Putting the cap back on the bottle, "you'll have to find that out later, just give him some time to relax. We all need something to help us forget the horrors that we see out there, for him it's usually some time alone, re-reading one of his books." Yakumo stated.
Resting her head on the palm of her hand, "it seems like ever since I restored his memories he's been doing that more often. When I first came here, I would only catch him really reading at night but now there's not a moment when I don't see him reading."
"You're right about that…." Yakumo muttered something inaudible that Luna couldn't understand.
"Do you think he'll want to talk to me?" Luna waited for what felt like hours before Yakumo answered her question.
"After our numerous discussions while we were away, it's safe to say he needs to talk to you." Getting off of the stool, "why don't you go relax in your room for awhile, there are some things that he and I still need to sort out. I'll come get you when he's ready."
Following Yakumo's instructions, Luna laid in her bed waiting as patiently as she could for the signal. In the back of her mind, she questioned every single possible outcome that their conversation may lead to, as she hoped that it would go well. She needed to talk to him, apologize to him for what happened regardless of who was wrong or right.
Getting out of her bed, she urged the need to pace in her room "I don't know why I'm worrying, everything is going to be fine…" Luna thought to herself, but it did nothing to soothe her nerves. "I'll just tell him I'm sorry right away and then go from there…. That's a good plan right?"
The amount of stress that was building was starting to reach a point that was nearly unbearable, to the point that Luna felt like if she had to wait a moment longer it would drive her to sheer and utter madness. Hearing the knocking at her door, she hurried over to open it as she saw Yakumo standing before her. "Louis wants to talk to you…" he informed her.
Feeling her heartbeat starting to increase, Luna took a deep breath "alright." stepping out of her room, Yakumo patted her on the back.
"Don't worry, it's nothing bad." he encouraged her, before pushing her towards the end of the hallway, "now, go makeup with him."
Rolling her eyes, she began making her way towards the lounge. Looking around she didn't see any sign of him anywhere, until she heard the faint sound of a page turning. Turning her attention towards his desk, Luna could see him sitting there reading one of his books like he normally did when he had the chance. Walking towards him, "umm… Louis?"
"There you are," he spoke up, briefly looking up at her. He could see the silver locks that once adorned the ends of her hair were gone now, he was shocked but also somewhat happy by her slight change in appearance. "I suppose Yakumo filled you in on what happened during our restocking mission, I know our absence wasn't ideal but I'd like to offer my thanks for holding down the fort while we were away." he told her, returning to his book. "Though I wasn't pleased with your idea to try to venture out for us."
"Louis… you have to understand…. It may have been a last minute impulsive decision I was about to make, but I was really worried. I was only trying to do what I thought was best." she tried to explain to him.
Sighing, "alright." he plainly spoke.
Taking a deep breath, Luna knew that whatever else she wanted to say to him that it had to be now, even if he was giving her the cold shoulder. "Louis, I want to apologize for the other day," she spoke up, but he didn't break concentration from his book. "It was wrong for me to snap at Yakumo and you… I should have known that you guys would have had your own concerns about what I can do, I just wish you talked to me before we set out, is all."
Taking a deep breath, "it's not like it's an easy topic to talk about." Louis started, "regardless you're right, if anything I should be the one apologizing. Seeing how it helps us in battle is one thing, but when that incident happened I feared that it could have consumed you at any moment…. If it truly took control of you, I'm sorry to say, but I have no doubt that you would be able to annihilate all of us."
His words stung, but Luna respected his honesty. "Yea, but the thing is…. I'm terrified of it too." she told him in a shaky voice, "I still don't know what it really is, if it's really something that I inherited when I became a Revenant or if it is something else." seeing her tremble in fear at her own powers made the feeling of guilt that he tried to bury resurface. Louis put his book down, as he got up from his desk, "I just didn't want you guys to fear me because of it." tears building up in her eyes.
Taking her hand, Louis pulled Luna to him wrapping his arms tightly around her, "I'm sorry, I didn't think about how much this affected you as well." He could feel her resting her head on his shoulder, his shirt absorbing the tears that fell from her eyes. In that moment it hit him, everything that he and Yakumo feared from her powers, she felt at a more intense level. Putting his hand to her face, he tilted her head up to look at him. Gently stroking his thumb over her cheek to wipe away her tears, "we'll figure this out Luna, together." he promised her, "we'll find out what this is and help you control it."
"Even if it means-"
"Whatever you're going to say, know this, I'll never let you lose yourself to it." he cut her off. Looking up, they locked eyes, "I swear to you Luna that I'll do everything that I can to help you. That is, if you'll let me."
Nodding her head, "you'd really help me? Even after everything I said to you the other day?"
"Of course." he answered her with no hesitation. "Though there are still some things we need to work on before we set out, but we're a team. We'll work through it."
Luna registered how close they were, their faces just inches apart from each other. Her eyes gazing down to his lips before feeling a burning sensation in her cheeks. Pulling away, she let her hair fall in front of her face hoping that it would hide her embarrassment. "Thanks, I really appreciate it."
Gently brushing the hair from her face, Louis tucked a lock behind her ear, exposing her. "It's the least I could do after everything that's happened," his hand carefully examined the ends of her hair. Feeling the awkwardness building between them, he had to say something to break it. "You got rid of it?"
"Huh?" she looked at him in confusion before realizing what he meant, "oh my hair…. Yea…. I had Coco cut it for me while you guys were gone, I thought it would be easier to maintain if I didn't have so much." she explained.
"I see, it looks rather nice."
"Thank you," she spoke, looking over at his desk she could see that he had a new pile of books and stacks of paper that he had laid out. Shaking her head, "are you doing more research?" she inquired.
Glancing over at his desk, "yea, just for a little bit."
"Honestly, you should get some rest, it looks like these last few days didn't treat you guys well." she voiced her concerns to him, "That means no more reading until tomorrow after our training session. Now get your butt to your bed." Feeling embarrassed by the words she just spoke, Luna froze; she didn't know what his reaction was going to be.
Louis couldn't help but chuckle at what Luna had just said, "since when do you give orders?" he joked.
Crossing her arms in front of her chest, "I'm not giving orders, I'm simply telling you to go to bed." she told him once again. Snapping her fingers, "which reminds me, since you're willing to help me with my powers I think it's only fair to return the favor."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I want to help you and Yakumo more. It doesn't matter what it is, if there's anything I can do to help you guys with your investigation besides activating bloodsprings let me know and I'll do everything I can to alleviate the stress you guys are under." she told him. "That is if you'll let me…"
Wrapping his arm around her, they slowly walked back towards their rooms. "I'm curious, what exactly happened while I was gone?"
Luna tried to hold back her laughter at Louis's confusion, "isn't it normal for me to want to pull my own weight around here?"
Grinning, "I guess not," he answered her. They stopped at her door, "so I guess Yakumo got this whole training idea in your head, didn't he?"
"And if he did?"
"Just be prepared." he told her, a smile on his face
Lightly tapping his chest, "yes sir." she laughed, opening her door she turned back to face him. "Good night, Louis."
"Night Luna."
She watched him take a few steps towards his room, "and Louis…" he looked over towards her, "I really do appreciate everything that you do as our leader, but also as my friend." she smiled at him before shutting her door quietly. Bringing her hand to her chest, she felt nothing just utter joy that things were settled.
The familiar feeling of her cheeks burning made her mind reenact the little moment that they had, shaking her head she tried not to think about it but that was hard to do. The mere thought that at any moment either one of them could close that distance, crossing a line that she didn't know if they should cross. If that was even a possibility. "Ahh! Now's not the time to be thinking about that!" she said to herself.
Throwing herself on her bed, "seriously….what's wrong with me?" she asked herself. "Be reasonable here Luna, he's your leader and friend…. Do not cross that line…" she tried to reason with herself. It was too soon for her to even think about something like that but that still didn't stop her mind whenever it was just the two of them which appeared to be quite often.
"Ahh! But what if he crosses that line?!" she knew that she was completely flustered, "just when I think I've managed to calm myself down, something else pops up that makes me feel like I'm going mad!" Luna muttered, unable to keep herself from delving into the depths of her mind.
"This is going to be a long night…."
Welp… my brain hurts. I know I say this probably every chapter, but I'm sorry for the delay. It's really hard to write most days after I come home from work. But with that said, I hope you guys enjoyed the update and don't worry I have more twists and turns coming, I just need to get them off of paper and onto my computer.
Until next time!
