Love Finds Itself

Chapter 7: A Token of…


Here's the next chapter. It's slightly long but I hope you guys like it.


It had been two weeks since Jake's death. Everything was over, the funeral, the final moments and his burial. He was resting in peace now but the people around him were far from peace. Hailey had barely uttered ten words in those two unending weeks. She was in denial and she wasn't willing to let anyone in. It was all between her and her. She was not the only one who was undergoing severe trauma, Regina too was shaken up pretty badly.

She had made the mistake to take this on herself, she blamed herself for Jake's death. She was spiralling down and she needed immediate help. She had to talk to someone and that was arranged for her by her friends and her superiors. To say the least, it had been the most gruesome weeks for most of them.

One evening the girls were at the bar because none of them still had the courage to be alone at home and not think about the recent events. It was evident that Hailey had been crying for the better part of two weeks, but nobody could help her since she had decided to deal with this on her own. Finally Kim said, "Hailey, you need to talk to someone. I can't see you like this anymore."

Hailey glanced at her friend knowing she was right but saying, "I am going to be fine Kim. This will pass."

"I am sure it will, but I need to see you coming out in one piece on the other side," Kim said bluntly.

Hailey sighed, suddenly overtaken by emotion. She started, "I still can't believe it."

Kim and Regina exchanged relieved but painful glances. It was not news to anyone that this horrific incident had affected Hailey the most. She continued, staring into blank space, "I don't even know what I have been doing these past few weeks. I can't think about it because the moment I do, I enter into a vicious cycle of pain and trauma."

Both the other girls could relate to this, thinking about it was not helping one bit. And that's why all of them were so immersed in their work, they needed something tangible to keep their minds occupied.

There was one thing that bothered Hailey the most. At work she had to grieve like a partner or a comrade, she couldn't divulge the information about their relationship. She couldn't act as though Jake had been her boyfriend, he was just another member of the police department. This was the very reason she faced so much more pain when she was alone, because all that gathered during the way was thrown out in the evening, in the silence of her four walls. Suddenly Regina spoke up, "He was a really good guy. You know what he told me before starting on the first day?"

Everyone knew this story was going to bring tears to their eyes. She went on, lost in her thoughts, "He told me, 'My life is in your hands Regina, I trust you.' He had said it normally but the meaning it has now is too much too take."

All of them looked down, emotional and hurt. This was not helping, but maybe this was the only way to put this behind them. Suddenly the door of the bar opened and three boys walked in. Kevin, Adam and Jay entered the bar, aware that they too wouldn't be able to use their time well if they headed home. Seeing the boys enter the girls wiped their tears immediately. Jay noticed Hailey's sudden action, he was troubled by the sight. All six of them sat together, only one thought crossing their minds; a seventh member was dearly missing. They tried to talk but no one had the heart to socialise, they were all still too sad. Finally Hailey decided to leave, receiving a warm hug from Kim, "Call me if you need anything," Kim whispered in her ear.

Hailey nodded, not wanting to break down again. She left the bar immediately, the tears already rolling down her cheek. As she walked a few steps she heard a familiar voice behind her, "Hey."

She turned, wiping her eyes. It was Jay, he was standing in front of her with an expression she couldn't decipher. He approached her slightly and said in an even tone, "Look Hailey, I know you're going through hell right now but let me know if you need anything."

She looked him, not sure how to respond so she nodded simply. He felt the need to add, "I didn't ask you or tell you anything for two weeks because you deserved the time to heal on your own but now I can't see you like this," he confessed.

She was still looking at him, but this time she spoke, "What do you want me to do Jay? Get back to normal? Act as though nothing happened?" it was a genuine question, because she really didn't know what to do.

Jay shook his head, knowing that the answer to this question was different for everyone. He attempted nonetheless, "I just don't want you to bottle up anything. You need to let everything out."

"I am," she said softly, realising this was the first time she was talking so much about herself after everything that had happened.

"Okay," Jay said softly.

She turned to leave but Jay interrupted her, "Hailey?"

She turned, looking at him.

"Let me help you," he said, aware that he was putting himself in a tough situation.

She smiled ever so briefly but he caught it. She said, "I don't think anyone can help me at the moment. I myself can't do anything."

He knew this and it was the sole reason he wanted to be there for her. He knew she was not thinking straight, she was probably out of control, but he couldn't be so direct. Suddenly he felt the impulse to advance and pull her in for a hug, but he exercised all the self-control he had and refrained himself. Hailey saw his sudden change and asked, "What?"

He shook his head, more to himself and said, "Nothing, I'll see you tomorrow then."

She nodded and left. He exhaled loudly, he needed to put a leash on himself, at least for the time being. He couldn't just act on his impulses.


The following morning all of them were on their duties, grateful in a sense that time didn't stop still, otherwise life would become too difficult to live. The day went by in the usual way, getting calls, checking on things. Jay and Hailey's shift ended in the evening, leaving both of them exhausted. They were in the locker room when Hailey suddenly spoke up, "Hey, do you have a minute?"

"Yeah," he answered.

No one else was there. Jay appeared from behind his locker in his short sleeved T-shirt that he wore under his uniform. Hailey didn't fail to notice the bulging biceps. She herself was in her black T-shirt that she wore under. Jay was looking at her, waiting for her to continue.

"After everything that has happened I felt the need to do this," she said, vagueness all over her words.

But Jay knew exactly what the 'everything' meant. Before he could ask what she intended to do she pulled something out of her pocket. It was enveloped in her hand. She asked him to extend a hand and placed a long, shining object in his hand. Jay looked down and asked, "What's this?"

She looked up at him and managed in an even tone, "It is a token of trust. It's just a way of saying I trust you as my partner."

Jay looked at her with gentle eyes, he was really touched by this gesture of hers. For a moment he didn't know what to say. She saw that and continued, "Communication is the key to make anything work and I hope that we always remain on the same page."

"We are," he said immediately, finding back his words.

She smiled softly and he wondered how pure she looked when she smiled. He knew the root of this gesture but the intent behind it was genuine and he accepted it. Hailey spoke again, "Life is short, there is no place for regrets, that's why I want to express all that I feel and do all that I can. No regrets."

A third person would be lost in trying to understand from where she spoke, but the context was crystal clear to Jay and he appreciated the fact that she was being so honest with him. He found his words again, "Hailey, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. After all we are partners, so we should be honest with each other," she said.

He nodded, agreeing and so happy to see her like this. It was a clear sign that she was healing, or at least trying to heal. She added, a sudden uninvited sadness seizing her being and making her say, "The chain could also be something that would remind you of me if something happened to me."

She was looking him directly in the eye, he stared back at her, clenching his jaws, "Nothing of the sort is going to happen," he said in a tone that suggested only protection, more so, that he had undertaken the responsibility to see to it that she was fine at all times.

Hailey looked down, emotion surfacing in her eyes. Jay said in a soft voice, "Thank you," and left the locker room.

In the safety of his home Jay took an inner decision that he was never going to step away from. He vowed to protect this girl at any cost because she had trusted him first, trusted him even though was going through an inner turmoil and didn't have a semblance of stability in her life. He would do anything to make sure she was safe and protected. This decision was almost like an oath, only the oath was between him and him, no else needed to know. He took that pledge and wore the chain.

His strength was around his neck.

In this lifetime he would never remove it from there.


The chapter ends here. I hope you guys liked it. Review and let me know what you felt. Thank you for reading.