Love Finds Itself
Chapter 8: Similarities
Hello guys, it's been a long while. But I've been super involved with my other story (which I love by the way and is my favourite at the moment). Do check it out if you haven't already. It's called 'Wanting Is Never Enough.' (Look at me, shamelessly promoting my own story here!) Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, I'm not sure how it has turned out as it's been so long. Hope you enjoy. :)
Time was doing its job, it was passing by. It had the power to heal as well and that's what these new rookies needed on their lives. Jake's death had been a rough blow to their beings and had almost frightened them about their jobs.
The following morning, like every other, Hailey headed for the district. By now she was used to the pain and knew how to deal with it. She had fallen for Jake and those feelings weren't going to evaporate in an instant. She didn't even know if she wanted them to go away. She was in her locker changing for the day when she met Jay. He said, "Morning."
"Morning," she replied politely.
"I heard Sergeant Voight wants us working with his Intelligence unit today," he said, changing as well.
"Oh, really? What's the deal?" Hailey asked, excited yet afraid.
"Apparently there's a big case and they need help from patrol," Jay filled her in.
Hailey nodded, glad for this opportunity. It was her chance to prove that she had come here for a career and she was going to earn it. It was also a good distraction, her continual attention on the case will make her forget things she should let go of. Jay saw her in her thoughts and said, "I'll see you there."
"Yeah," she said, coming back to reality.
Sergeant Voight was a rough and tough person who didn't seem to have a heart. His work always came first and he would go to any extent to get the job done, or at least that's what the rookies had heard about him. He briefed his team then told the patrol officers how their help would be required and soon everyone was off to the location.
Jay and Hailey were seated in their patrol car, their eyes peeled open for any extravagant movements around them and the building they were keeping an eye on. Finally Jay turned towards her and asked softly, "How are you?"
"I'm okay," she said, trying to smile.
"You can always tell me what you feel," he assured her.
"Thanks," she said, not ready to open up yet.
All of a sudden there was movement and before they could come fully understand the situation, there was gunfire and both of them ducked automatically. Hailey's side was taking fire and it took Jay only a moment to come out on his side. He had thought she would be following him but she was frozen in her seat, she didn't react nor move. He called out loudly, "Hailey! Hailey! Get out!"
Nothing, she was blank. He came back in and shook her, bringing her back to reality. He said loudly, "We need to get out of here."
She looked at him strangely and he realised she had zoned out or was terrified. Either way, they couldn't stay in the vehicle any longer. He pulled her to his side and made her get out, himself following. She was sitting on the ground, her back against their car, Jay firing away bullets in the opposite direction. He came down to refill and asked, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
No response. He shook her again she barely managed, "I'm fine."
He got back to shooting. A few minutes later she joined him, apparently out of her trance and well aware that they were being fired at. In another couple of minutes everything ended and they were safe. Jay sat back down against the car and shut his eyes, it had been close. In that moment he realised Hailey was far from fine and she needed help to cope with her loss. He approached her on the side and asked, "Hailey, what happened?"
She looked at him helpless and said, "I don't know, I just froze. I remembered…" she stopped.
He understood and didn't question further but said, "Hailey, you need help. Please talk to someone."
She didn't look at him, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She was going to deal with everything on her own. He sensed her hesitation and said, "It does get better."
This time she looked up at him and asked cynically, "How would you know?"
He looked at her, a faint smile on his lips. He said, "I'll tell you over beer in the evening."
She didn't bother further. The truth was she didn't want help. She was somewhere happy wallowing in her pain and that was an extremely dangerous thing to do. And as planned they met at the bar in the evening. For a long while he didn't say anything as everyone was still there. He waited for everyone to leave and looked at her. He started, "When I was sixteen I had a girlfriend I loved dearly."
She looked at him. He went on, "We were together for three years but unfortunately she died in an accident."
Hailey's expression changed. Jay wasn't looking at her, "I was devastated and almost depressed. We had shared everything with each other and we had planned a future."
He paused for a long while then went on, "But sometimes things don't turn out the way you want them to."
"I'm sorry to hear that," she said genuinely.
"It was the first time I had really loved someone," he said, probably remembering her.
"That's why they say love can ruin you," she added, herself ruined at the moment.
"It sure can," he agreed smiling, "But it's really the best thing we do."
"How do you get over this?" she asked, one tiny wall down.
"By letting go," he said, "You have to let it go."
"What if I don't want to?" the fear was evident in her voice.
"You have to, otherwise… otherwise, it'll eat you alive," he told her.
"I can't…" she cried, vulnerable.
Hailey, you can," he assured her.
She shook her head, "I still can't get over the fact that he's no more."
"I know," he said gently.
She looked down, tearful again. He spoke softly again, "Pain can never be replaced by more pain, it can only be replaced by love."
She looked at him, unsure of what he meant. He saw her perplexed and added, "The void you're feeling can only be replaced by love, nothing else."
"Did you do that?" she asked him.
"Not at first, but later I had to otherwise I would have lost it," he confessed.
"Are you in love Jay?" she asked, suddenly something clicking in her.
It was his turn to look confused and he asked, "What?"
"The way you're talking makes you seem as though you're in love," she concluded.
The truth was he didn't know the answer to that question. He had strong feelings towards the girl that was sitting opposite him but he didn't know if it was love or not. What he did know was that he couldn't see her in pain. So he replied vaguely, "Maybe."
"That's… amazing," Hailey commented, "So who's this lucky girl?"
He looked down and shook his head, almost blushing. But he scolded himself for feeling this way. Hailey had just gone through trauma, she wasn't even out of it and he was behaving in this manner. He had to keep it together. She asked, "Do I know her?"
He had no idea how to answer that so he settled for, "Uh… I think so."
"When can I meet her?" Hailey asked, entering the teasing mode.
"When she accepts my love," he answered smartly.
And they spoke for another half hour, trying hard to forget their past and focus on the present. At the end of the night when he dropped her home she told him, "I feel better. Thank you for this."
He smiled and said, "Anytime."
"Good night Jay," she said.
"Good night," he said and drove off.
Love was the only thing that could replace itself. If love didn't exist nothing else did.
And I end the chapter here guys. Honestly, I don't know how it has turned out but I thought of going with it anyway. Please let me know what you feel, I would really appreciate feedback. Thank you for reading. :)
