My whole body was in flames.
I could barely remember my name, but his... Oh, his name was stuck to my tongue and lips... It was all I could think of and that was why I was repeating it like a moaned mantra together with every single one of his hard thrusts.
"Jasper..." I groaned as he pushed my thigh a little higher against the wall, the angle making his cock go even deeper inside me. "Jaspeeer..."
"Don't stop moaning my name, Red..." He grunted in my ear. "You know it makes me crazy, right? You make me crazy." He said in a low tone while thrusting and thrusting. "You're so fucking delicious... I wanna eat you up the whole night."
My chest was clashing against his living room wall repeatedly as he pushed strongly into me... My face had been practically glued to the beige painting since he attacked me from behind as soon as we'd arrived... I was standing on the toes of my left foot, but I wouldn't fall having his body flush against mine and his big hands holding my waist and my right thigh.
Although naked from the waist down, I was still wearing my shirt...
Jasper was still wearing his clothes... He'd only taken the time to open up the fly of his jeans, sheath his cock with a lubed condom he grabbed in his pocket, and stick it into me with no preparation. That proved his impatience to have me. Not that I was complaining... I had been impatient as well. I had longed to feel him in me again ever since we'd been together the first time.
His lips grazed my shoulder... He bit the muscle softly and then licked my skin.
I moaned... He moaned right back.
My cock hadn't been touched by him yet, but it was so hard I was afraid of putting a dent on his pristine wall.
He was having his way with me, and the whole thing was so raw...
There was a little pain involved, sure, but, honestly? I didn't care at all... All I wanted was for him to keep fuking me insanely like he was.
"Fuck me harder." I uttered impulsively, my voice a little choked.
I was just attending to my unexplained and desperate need to feel him deeper into me.
I heard him chuckling.
"Your eagerness makes it even better..." He panted in my ear. I heard him inhale deeply. "I want you to want me, Red."
I shook my head amid moans.
"Is it not clear enough?" I panted through the words. " I do want you, Jasper."
I felt his tongue in the shell of my ear and shivered, goosebumps spreading throughout my skin. Then he bit the lobe, rested his forehead on top of my head, and slowed down his motions.
For a moment all there was to hear were our moans and grunts...
Outta nowhere, Jasper brought his hand that had been on my waist to my neck and turned my face to him gently until our lips met.
He kissed me softly... Then he sighed.
"You have no idea..." He murmured before resting his head on my shoulder.
I didn't understand his statement, but I was so absorbed in the maddening sensations he was inciting in me, that I simply disregarded it.
"Please, Jasper..." I pleaded, pushing my hips back against him. "Please."
"What do you want, Edward?" He asked softly after moaning. "Tell me what you want."
"Harder..." I said while pushing my hips backward again, earning a groan from him. "Faster. Just fuck me. Please."
I heard him heaving a weighted breath before picking up speed.
And soon he was pistoning his cock into me with abandon. It didn't take long for both of us to reach the edge...
"I'm gonna cum." I blurted out, the hot spurts of my semen already painting his perfect wall.
And as my moans became louder, his grunts stopped for just a second before he groaned and started pulsating inside me.
I reached his neck with my left hand and he understood what I wanted.
We kissed through our climaxes... And I thought it would end once the high faded but... Right after Jasper slipped out of me he turned me briskly and deepened the kiss.
My hands wrapped around his neck of their own volition...
Jasper held both my thighs and made me circle his hips with them. I noticed he was moving, but I didn't want to break the kiss...
He carried me for a while, and only once my back touched something soft I realized he'd taken me to his bedroom, to his bed.
Jasper broke the kiss carefully and looked into my eyes from above, his glinting with some unknown emotion.
"What are you doing to me, Freckles?" His tone was slightly puzzled, and he was subtly frowning.
The air I had in my lungs left me without my conscious consent, and I felt my heart suddenly racing inside my chest.
There was no explanation for such a reaction, but it wasn't like I could control what Jasper provoked in me.
"Not doing anything." I was able to whisper.
Jasper smiled, but it didn't seem to reach his eyes. He seemed worried... Then he shook his head.
"You have no idea..." He said again, this time more clearly, intending for me to hear it.
"Of what?" I asked, puzzled.
Jasper closed his eyes for an instant, looked at me seriously, then leaned in and kissed me again.
That kiss was different from all the others before it. He didn't kiss me with his lips and tongue, he kissed me with his whole body, he trapped me into his arms and enveloped me in an emotion that I could not name... I felt as if he wanted to absorb me...
I wanted to absorb him...
And that was the second time I felt the spark.
Why do I feel like this?
His skin, his body, he was so warm...
I want to stay here... In the circle of your arms, with your body surrounding me...
I felt him tightening his hold.
Does he feel it? This... Energy pulling us together? This need to get even closer...?
He deepened the kiss even more, if that was even possible.
Don't let me go.
"Stay." He muttered under his breath after breaking the kiss all of a sudden.
I looked at him, my mind still a little fuzzy from the intense exchange, and I frowned.
"Stay." He repeated in a whisper.
"The night?" I asked confused.
Jasper squeezed his eyes and sighed before gazing softly at me.
"Just... Stay." He said again.
I nodded, still not really understanding what he meant.
"Okay." I murmured.
He kissed me again, shed the remaining of our clothes, and soon we were bodily connected once more.
#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter6#
I woke up the next morning feeling his lips on my nape and his hard cock nestled between my asscheeks.
"You are a fucking sex addict." I mumbled, but still, I pushed against him.
Jasper chuckled and wrapped one arm around my waist.
"Because you're like a drug." He murmured between kisses on my neck.
Obviously, my heart jolted once again.
Does he mean he's addicted to me?
I tried not to focus on that silly idea.
"You fucked me the whole damn night..." Not that I was complaining... "You're still horny?"
"Ever since the first night, I'm always hot for you..."
That oddly stirred my emotions and incited my curiosity. I had been feeling puzzled by his words and actions since the previous night and those words worked as a thick drop falling into a full glass.
Impulsively, I turned. His eyes conveyed surprise for a second but quickly they were blazing with desire and something more I couldn't identify.
"What is this?" I asked in the spur of the moment.
Jasper blinked a little more than what's normal, apparently trying to assimilate my question.
"What do you mean?"
I sighed, feeling slightly anguished all of a sudden.
"You're acting differently." I stated simply. "And you've said some things since last night that..."
"Shhh." He silenced me with his index finger. Then he fondled my bottom lip. "Please, don't ask. Just..."
"I can't." I cut him off while pushing his hand away slowly. "You're confusing me."
He squeezed his eyes while carding his fingers through his loose strands. When he looked back at me he seemed disturbed.
"I am confused too." He spoke in a low tone as if that was a secret, and a difficult one to tell. "But I don't wanna spoil the moment with twenty questions."
I heaved a sigh, not understanding why I felt a little angry.
Apparently, Jasper perceived the emotion that was taking me over... His countenance softened and he brought his hand to my face, seemingly to soothe me, or at least that's what I assumed.
"Do you really need answers?" He asked cautiously, his eyes unquiet.
"What if I do?"
He wet his lips with the tip of his tongue.
Is he nervous?
"I'm not really good at giving them."
I squinted and he swallowed hard, probably reading the implicit question in my stance.
"Can't you just... Let this happen?" He asked softly and his pleading eyes kinda shook me a little.
"I..." I huffed, trying to understand what I was feeling. "I... I don't know."
Jasper came closer and nuzzled my nose with his. I involuntarily closed my eyes, my whole body loosening up immediately...
I felt his lips touching mine gently.
"Let's just... Try this out."
I opened my eyes and stared at him interrogatively.
"Try what out?"
He sighed and frowned a little.
"This..." He said tentatively while gesturing with his finger between us. "This..." He repeated then cut himself off and sighed again.
"You and I?" I asked skeptically. Jasper nodded slightly, uncertainly. "If I remember correctly you don't do relationships."
"I don't want a relationship." He hastened to say, seeming actually a bit scared. "I just want... You..." He swallowed hard again. "Like this..."
The penny dropped.
"You want me to be your fuck-buddy." I concluded with some coldness.
Jasper sighed once again and, for my sheer perplexity, blushed while averting his eyes for just a split second.
"Is that it?" I was certain it was but I needed to confirm. "You're asking me to keep having sex with you?"
I made a point of sounding detached. Jasper looked at me seeming a little wary, stared into my eyes for a long while as if searching for something, then nibbled his bottom lip and exhaled heavily.
"I do want to keep having sex with you." He spoke carefully. "I want to keep seeing you... Like this..." He took a deep breath.
I didn't wait for him to complete his thought.
"And you also want to keep fucking around." I was intentionally ironic.
Once again Jasper bit his lip.
I sighed.
"You can have anyone, why me?" The question came out naturally and almost as immediately as it popped up in my mind.
He closed his eyes and sighed one more time.
"I'm not sure." He seemed sincere. "You affect me in a weird way and I... I want to understand it." It was all he said before gazing at me with intensity.
I sneered and shook my head. The idea of being with him was really appealing, I wanted it, to keep hooking up with him, to spend time with him, to have the chance to maybe know him better but... I didn't want to be just another one of the many men he had.
"I'll understand if you..."
"I want to be with you." I cut him off with my blunt directed-at-Jasper-only honesty. "I just don't wanna be used. I'm not just one of the guys you take to the storeroom."
"You're not." He affirmed in earnest.
Involuntarily I halted my thoughts and words...
I truly wasn't expecting him to agree with that statement, least of all with such conviction. My eyes dived into his and suddenly we were sharing this intense stare...
My heart thundered inside my chest... And the third spark happened.
There was this little voice inside my head, telling me I was making the wrong move... But the desire running in my veins burned any coherence, any ounce of rationality I had in me.
"I don't wanna see it." I stated outta the blue, the words coming straight from my mind. "I don't wanna know." I could feel how earnest my countenance was. The unusual stern tone of voice I involuntarily used gave away how dead serious I was.
Jasper nodded as I stared fiercely at him.
"And if I can't make questions, neither can you." I concluded incisively, and Jasper's face showed me he wasn't expecting me to say anything like those words or in the way I said them. "If we are doing this... When we're together you're with me and I'm with you. But when we're not... I won't interfere with your life..." I had to swallow the odd lump I suddenly felt in my throat. "as you won't interfere with mine."
I read the hesitation in his eyes and didn't understand it. That was what he wanted, wasn't it?
He finally nodded again and then wrapped his hand around my nape, getting closer.
"Do you have classes today?" He murmured the question on my lips.
"I don't have to go if I don't want to." Was my simple answer.
Jasper pulled his head away just a tiny bit and searched my eyes.
"Do you want to?"
I splayed my hands on his ravishing chest, controlling my impetus, and pushed him a little more.
"Why do you make questions you already know the answer to?" I squinted and he frowned. "You know I wanna stay."
Yes, I had already given up trying to hold anything back. I couldn't refrain my thoughts, emotions, or words whenever I was around him anyway, so why even bother?
Jasper's eyes seemed to get bigger, or maybe it was just my willing mind...
"The day?" He asked unsurely.
I chuckled.
"However long you want me to." I uttered naturally.
Jasper smiled his adorable dimpled smile, and I felt my knees weakening. Lucky me I was laying down...
"Then I'm not sure when you're going home."
"Can I touch your dimples?" I blurted the question out.
What the fuck?! This is getting really embarrassing!
Jasper's smile broadened and his eyes glinted with mischief and what I assumed as satisfaction.
He got closer to my face.
"You can touch me wherever you feel like to." His statement sounded heartfelt.
I took a sharp intake of air and held it in my lungs. I didn't know why I was acting in such a way, I just did it while raising my hands to his perfect face and holding his jaw. My thumbs found their way to Jasper's adorable dimples and I sank their tips softly in them. And then I sighed and smiled.
"Feel nice?" He asked gently, still smiling.
I just nodded, a little dazzled.
"I have to work tonight." I said as it came to my mind, and I sounded absent-minded.
Jasper smiled devilishly.
"Not if your boss gives you a night off."
Coming fully back to my senses, I fondled his cheeks and smiled crookedly.
"And why would he do that?" I defied him in a smirk.
"Let's just say he's requesting you to do something a bit more... Interesting... Than serving drinks." He said and winked.
"Very convenient." I uttered, quirking one eyebrow.
Jasper moved nimbly like a cat and was hovering over me before I could follow his motions.
"Can I shut you up, Freckles?" He asked softly while nibbling my lips.
I slid my hands to his neck and wrap them around it.
"Know this..." I slid the tip of my tongue between his ajar lips provocatively. "You don't need to ask for permission. Just fucking kiss me."
And that's what he did.
#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter6#
We got out of bed way after midday and Jasper took me to a fancy restaurant downtown for lunch. We talked about my college degree and my hectic schedule. We talked about what I liked to do in my free time and some of my plans for the future. Jasper just answered some of my shallow questions about the club...
He didn't ask anything too personal, just like when we'd first spent time together, and I did the same. That is... Until we were back to his house and the five beers I'd drunk had gone to my head.
It was the end of the afternoon and the sky was painted in orange, pink, and violet as the sun started to set on the horizon. I had my calves into the warmth of his pool and my eyes on him while he was swimming... I couldn't help but admire his strong, even strokes cutting the water effortlessly.
What is this feeling? And why does it make me feel afraid?
I shook my head and looked away from the God-like man in the crystalline water. The emotions he incited in me were getting stronger and mingling... They were becoming something else.
"Come back..." I heard Jasper's voice in a soft tone.
Only then I realized he was right in front of me, looking at my face with this intrigued gaze.
"Where do you go when you nibble your lip like that?" He asked carefully.
I noticed I was bitting the corner of my bottom lip and stopped, shaking my head once again.
"I spend a lot of time in my own head..." I shrugged. "I know it sounds kinda crazy.
I felt his hands on my thighs and cut myself off.
"You don't sound or seem crazy to me, Edward." Jasper affirmed while looking at me with this odd kind stare. "To me, you actually seem so honest and sometimes..." He took a deep breath. "...Innocent..."
We shared another one of those intense stares...
"You're like a mystery to me." I let it out.
Jasper averted his gaze and sighed. I sighed too, a little annoyed with his constant avoidance.
"Why do you have all these walls around you?" I heard myself asking.
He let go of my legs and took some steps back while rubbing his wet hand over his face.
I wasn't having it.
I jumped into the pool, got closer, and held his shoulders.
"You know I can't hide anything I think from you because you oddly burst all my filters..." He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "You have free access to anything you wanna know from me..."
"I know." He said in a kind voice. "I haven't asked anything personal, have I?"
"You haven't." I agreed. "But I wish you had."
He chuckled humorlessly.
"If I ask something more personal you'll have the right to do the same... I get it." He saw perfectly through my excuse... "I'm not that interesting, Red."
"Don't you think this is for me to decide?" I subtly defied him.
He got serious.
"If you get to know me more... You won't like what you'll find out."
I shortened the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. Then I felt his around my waist.
"Why don't you try me?"
He sighed.
"I want to keep seeing you."
"And you will." I assured.
"Not if you find out more about me."
I kissed his lips softly and pulled his lower lip into my mouth. Then I looked deep into his eyes.
"You can trust me." I whispered.
I saw the moment his restraint craked. I smiled to myself.
"You want to know something about me?" He asked hesitantly. I nodded. "I don't think you'll like it very much."
"Try me." I stated confidently.
Jasper took a deep breath and exhaled heavily before clenching and unclenching his jaw.
"I'm not good, Edward." He spoke sternly, and I read the self-loathing in his amber eyes. "The walls around me? They're not for my own protection. They're for keeping people from getting hurt by me." He sighed again. "I'm not good."
I was stunned... I could see clearly the repugnance he felt for himself and it baffled me.
We spent a moment looking into each other's eyes until Jasper looked down and let go of me. I felt my heart getting suddenly small, and this need to soothe him took over me abruptly. I tightened the hold I had around his neck and searched his eyes.
And feeling as strange as it could get, I let my heart speak for the very first time in my life...
"You don't seem bad to me, Jasper." I affirmed with kindness.
"I am." He countered, sadness pouring out of his eyes. "I'm damaged, and I hurt people constantly."
I couldn't refute his words, even though I unexplainedly wanted to.
"I'll surely hurt you..." He said dejectedly. "Although I don't want to..."
And as I looked deeper into his stunning eyes, I realized I was utterly fucked. That whole conversation reinforced the feeling I'd had earlier... I was making a wrong move getting involved with him.
But it was not like I could stop myself...
I was already neck-deep into the feelings he was provoking in me, there was no way I could turn back... I didn't want to turn back.
"I don't care." I spoke with deliberate confidence. "Roller-coasters are my favorite ride."
I didn't wait for his reply. I just kissed him deeply and finished that awkward conversation at once.
