A/N: I'd like to thank my betas: AlEmily360, SapphireTrafficker, tigerlilycorinne, AshenMoon42, Lesbian101, Shiuanc2, and LadyHW.

In the midst of midterms, Annabeth didn't have time for distractions. It was a good excuse. She'd always been studious, more or less, and anyone who knew her knew that, so for now, they let her be. And Annabeth pretended that she didn't miss them.

She adjusted herself in her seat, pulled out her laptop, and placed it on the rickety pull-out desk. She moved her bag as someone squeezed past her, before class chatter filled up the cavernous lecture hall. The professor took to the podium at the front of the class and the noise faded to silence. Her phone chirped loudly and she blushed as several heads turned. She reached to silence it, but upon glancing down, she couldn't help but notice who her text was from.

Percy- meet after class? ill be at the po…

Annabeth sighed. It had been a while since she saw him. But no distractions! She shook the insistent voice from her head as she slid the notification open.

Percy- meet after class? ill be at the pool wanna meet there

Annabeth considered before responding. She should go. She had a class later in the afternoon, and a test in a few days—the perfect excuse to cut their rendezvous short. She typed out a short response.

Annabeth- yeah, i get out at 1:15

As she was tucking her phone away, she got a notification. A few more heads turned and Annabeth muttered an apology as she silenced her phone.

Percy- i know ;) see you then

Annabeth chose not to reply, putting her phone in her bag and trying to focus on the lecture.

:::

After her lecture, Annabeth found her way down to the pool house. Standing uncertainly by the side windows, she looked past her reflection and over to the pool, where the school's swim team was finishing a meeting.

Her eyes quickly found Percy, looking serious at the back of the group as he listened to what their coach was saying. He looked up for a second and met her eyes. Annabeth was suddenly reminded of a moment last semester—Percy, pool, abs… Annabeth blushed at Percy, who was grinning at her, oblivious to her embarrassment. He waved at her, and unsubtly pointed to the back door. Annabeth got the message. I'll meet you there. She laughed as Percy looked back at the coach, startled and then sheepish. Caught in the act.

She waited outside of the building for a few minutes. The late March wind pushed her hair into her eyes and mouth and she desperately wished it was still long enough to tie up. She moved back as the door swung open and Percy walked out, sticking a knit beanie over his wet hair.

"Hey!" he said. Annabeth's heart thumped uncomfortably in her chest. It still felt like something big whenever he smiled at her.

She smiled back. "Hi," she said. She reached out for a hug and he obliged. He still smelled strongly of chlorine. "Did you not shower?" she asked.

"Mmm, no. Wanted to see you first." Percy pulled away from her, but kept a hand resting on her back. The touch was electric, even through her jacket. Annabeth shivered. "Are you cold?"

"No," Annabeth said. "You should at least get the chlorine out of your hair. It'll dry it out."

Percy grinned and shook his head out, spraying drops of water over her. Annabeth laughed. "Good, the faster the better," he said.

Then he took his hat off and put it on her. At her questioning look, he shrugged and said. "For the wind."

Annabeth's heart warmed, still feeling too big in her chest.

He took his hand off her back and grabbed her elbow instead, leading her away from the wall and in the direction of his parked car. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "It's fine, I'll put some coconut oil on it later. And if that fails, I'll just chop it off like you."

Annabeth had been scared he wouldn't like her hair, that he'd be disappointed. She'd tried to tell herself it didn't matter, it was just hair, but hair was never just. And she knew how much Percy liked it, liked running his hands through it, braiding it, wrapping it around his fingers. He called it her "princess curls", even when she hadn't conditioned it in weeks and it was a frizzy mess.

"I like it," he said, as if reading her thoughts. "A lot." He pushed it clumsily behind her ear as they walked. She knew that, he had told her so weeks ago, when he had first seen it. And it doesn't matter if he likes it, Annabeth quickly reminded herself, I won't be here long anyway. She couldn't tell if "here" meant with Percy, or alive. Maybe both.

"I don't have long," Annabeth said, in lieu of responding. They had reached his car, and Annabeth wanted to remind him in case he had plans to whisk her away some place. "I have class at five-thirty."

"Yeah, I know," Percy said. "Design studio 3, right?"

"Yeah…" Annabeth said.

"Don't worry, this won't take long." Percy grinned. Annabeth gave him an inquisitive look, but he just shrugged. Not going to tell her, then. "What are you waiting for, get in."

Annabeth hadn't even realized that the car was unlocked, but she slid into the passenger's seat while he opened the driver's. Chlorine and coffee. Annabeth instantly felt comfortable, her muscles relaxing like a Pavlovian response. Pavlov… maybe that would help her pull herself away from Percy. Every time he smiled at her, she could shock herself. Like Percy Jackson aversion therapy.

Percy drummed his hands on the steering wheel as they drove into the city. He hummed along to a song on the radio, something old with a strong beat. His dark hair flopped into his eyes as he began to nod his head to the song, but he didn't seem to notice. Annabeth looked away to avoid pushing it back for him.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," Percy said suddenly. Annabeth looked back at him and found him looking at her. He shifted his eyes back to the road when he saw that she was paying attention. "Are you okay?"

He drove his car into the back parking lot of a familiar building, paying the toll and pulling into a spot. "Is this the MOA?" she asked him. She was avoiding his question—she hoped he wouldn't notice.

Percy scrunched his heavy eyebrows in confusion. "MOA? Oh, Museum of Art." He laughed. "Yeah, it is."

They both got out of the car. Annabeth didn't know how Percy knew to take her here. They'd never been here together before—they usually went to the contemporary art museum across town, with its ever-changing interactive exhibits. Aquariums and installations were one thing, but Annabeth knew that Percy didn't love art museums like this one. He got too restless.

But Annabeth loved it here. She came alone all the time, or used to. She hadn't been in… months. Not since last spring. She couldn't think of why. Walking around the quiet galleries had always calmed her, and getting a glimpse of history through the eyes of long-dead artists made her feel like a part of something. A fellow creator, in a continuation of hundreds of years of others. It had a calming effect on her.

"But you don't—" Annabeth started.

Percy cut her off. "But you do. And…" he seemed to be struggling to find the right words, his face downturned. "You've seemed kind of… I don't know. Not yourself for a while? And you haven't—I mean, we haven't spent a lot of time together recently. I thought you might… like this?"

Annabeth exhaled shakily. Oh. Percy was feeling… insecure. This was good. Ultimately, in the long run. Even if it hurt, even if it was awful, it was for the best. She knew this. She forced her face into a grateful smile. "Thank you. I'm, um…" She wanted to construct a pretty lie. It's not you, I've just been really busy. It's not you, I'm just protecting you. It's not you, I love you. She didn't say any of this. Instead, she said, "Let's go in."

In the museum, she did not grab his hand. When he touched the small of her back, she moved away. Still, she smiled and whispered her favorite facts about the pieces they were looking at into his ear. Percy seemed happy to be there, to listen to her talk about art and to exchange jokes and muffled laughs in the quiet rooms, but by the end of their visit, Annabeth could see the strain of worry in his face and shoulders.

When he dropped her off on campus, in time for her next lecture, she gave him a chaste kiss and hurried out of the car. When she looked back at him, when she was sure he would have driven off, he was still there, watching her walk away with a sad expression on his face. She quickly turned back around.

:::

"I was surprised you asked me to hang out," Thalia said, even as the lights dimmed in the movie theater. The murmuring behind them quieted as the film started.

Voice lowered, Annabeth replied, "How come?"

"I just haven't seen you lately," Thalia said. She nudged Annabeth with her knee and Annabeth passed her the popcorn. "You never invite me anywhere anymore."

Annabeth looked away from their knocking knees. "I've been busy."

"You're always busy?"

Annabeth shrugged. "I have a lot going on."

"I know what you're doing."

"What do you mean?"

Thalia shook her head. "I might have been gone for five years, but I still know you. You may think I don't, but I do."

"I'm not doing anything," Annabeth whispered. It sounded weak, even in her own ears. As the film began, Annabeth waited for Thalia to quiet, but she did no such thing.

"So what's the plan? You're just gonna fucking push everyone away?" Thalia said. Annabeth thought if the movie was playing, Thalia wouldn't be able to talk to her and she'd be able to avoid this conversation altogether. She was wrong. Obviously.

"Thalia, there's a movie," Annabeth whispered, pointing at the screen. A rather suave-looking man was standing near the entrance of a pyramid. Annabeth had always wanted to visit the pyramids…

"I don't care," Thalia said, at the same too-loud volume as before. "So you're saving them by hurting them? Is that it?"

Someone behind them cleared their throat, but they were ignored.

"I'm not hurting them, not really. And 'save' is a bit dramatic. I'm just… softening the blow." Annabeth said, avoiding looking at Thalia. She could feel her disapproving look on the side of her face. "I'm being delicate. They won't even notice."

"I noticed." Thalia insisted. The person behind them cleared their throat again, louder this time. Thalia ignored them, but Annabeth shot an apologetic look into the dark seats behind.

"Yeah, but you've only got two friends," Annabeth whispered. It came out harsher than she meant it to.

She expected Thalia to argue, but instead, she just narrowed her eyes and hissed "I noticed because I care about you. Because you're important to me. Asshole."

Annabeth exhaled slowly. The man on the screen drew out a strange, curved blade as he was approached by something in the shadows of the tomb he was in. He was now joined by a fierce-looking girl with a staff. Annabeth felt a bit lost. She couldn't remember how they had gotten into the tomb in the first place.

"Just- " she started and stopped, considering her next words. Thalia was almost more bullheaded than Annabeth. Almost. "I know what I'm doing." She crossed her arms in front of herself. Thalia just scoffed.

"I'm going to get some red-vines," she said, getting up. Her heavy boots slapped the floor loudly as she made her way down the aisle. The person from behind them shushed her. Thalia squinted into the back of the theater, seeking out barely there faces. "Fuck off," she said finally. Annabeth winced at the volume.

When Thalia was gone, Annabeth let out a tiny breath. She had no idea what was happening in the movie—some kind of fight scene, she didn't care. She unfolded her arms and placed them on her lap, suddenly over-aware of their position and unsure of what to do with them. She wanted to fidget.

A pack of Red Vines landed violently in her lap. Thalia settled down violently into her cinema chair. She violently opened her own pack of Red Vines and stuck one in her mouth. Everything she did was aggressive and loud, whether she made noise or not. Thalia had a presence that Annabeth had once admired, but now it made her flinch. She wasn't sure what that said about her.

Thankfully, Thalia was silent for the rest of the movie, save for the crinkle of the candy box in her lap. Annabeth knew it wouldn't last for long. Thalia was both ruder and politer than you'd expect- she wouldn't have talked in the movie if she didn't think it was important and she wouldn't have sworn at that man if he hadn't shushed her first. Annabeth still admired Thalia's 'take no shit' attitude.

As the credits rolled at the end of the film, Thalia stood up and Annabeth followed her out of the dark theater.

"That was pretty good," Thalia said, as they stepped into the cold sunshine outside. Annabeth couldn't remember most of the movie, so she just nodded. She blinked in the light, trying to will the blurriness away.

"I think you're being really stupid," Thalia continued. Annabeth sighed. She'd known this was coming, but she hadn't thought Thalia would be so blunt. She should have known better.

"Well, I don't think so," Annabeth said. She was doing the right thing. "I'm doing the right thing."

Thalia wrinkled her nose. She swept her dark hair out of her eyes, then shook it out with her hand. "You would say that."

Annabeth frowned.

"But I get it. You have a pretty raw deal. I don't know why you're not more angry."

"I am angry," Annabeth swept her own hair over her shoulder, before remembering it was too short. She tucked it behind her ear instead.

"You have a weird way of showing it," Thalia said. She kicked her heavy boots against the curb absentmindedly. Annabeth stopped for a second, waiting for her. "If I was you I'd be angry. Fuck, I am angry. Why do you think I'm going to all those fucking protests?"

"You like the sound of your own voice?" Annabeth suggested, teasingly. Thalia sent her a venomous look and Annabeth dropped her smile.

"I'm doing it for people like you," she said. "Our lives shouldn't be fucking dictated by these things." She brought her wrist up and tapped her new timer. It made a soft clacking sound. A healthy string of numbers blinked up at them, just like always.

"Whether or not I have the timer, I'm still going to die." Annabeth reminded her. "At least I can make sure to get sunflowers instead of lilies at my funeral."

"Yeah, but now you're spending the last few months of your life torturing yourself and pushing everyone else away. These timers… your life is over as soon as the countdown starts, as soon as you're aware of its end."

Annabeth frowned again, but she couldn't think of a counterpoint. Instead, she just settled on "I'm not torturing myself." It was a pathetic comeback and she knew it.

"I'd rather be in control of my own time. Last time…" Thalia paused. Annabeth looked at her in alarm. They hadn't talked about last time, not really. Annabeth hesitated to bring it up. She knew Thalia's opinions hadn't changed, and while Annabeth hadn't protested back then, she could now.

"You're not thinking of-" Annabeth said, eyebrows crinkling with worry. "Seriously, Thalia, not again."

Thalia stopped for a second and made eye contact with Annabeth. Her icy blue eyes held Annabeth's grey ones steadily. "I did it wrong last time," she said. Annabeth opened her mouth to say something, but closed it when nothing came to mind.

"It won't happen again," Thalia said, breaking eye contact as she turned away.

They turned a corner and stopped in front of a door. Annabeth realized where they were: Luke's apartment. Well, Luke and Thalia's. She stopped short as Thalia continued up the front steps to the door. Behind that door, Annabeth imagined Luke, sitting there, or maybe standing just at the entrance, waiting for them to come in. Irrational panic flooded her head, and her mind was temporarily put off of Thalia's distressing words.

She focused on her breathing—inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. She hated that Luke could do this to her. She felt crowded in, like the ground was slipping out from beneath her.

"Coming up?" Thalia asked Annabeth, eyes wide and questioning.

Annabeth shook her head. Thalia paused for a second, leaning on the threshold of her and Luke's apartment, hand on the doorknob. Her mouth was a narrow line as she chewed on her bottom lip. Annabeth waited for her to shrug and go in, but instead, Thalia turned away from the door and came back down the stairs. She nudged Annabeth's shoulder with her own.

"Alright, yours it is then."

:::

When they entered her dorm room, Thalia let out a low whistle.

"Damn, you got a single? Good thing you don't have to put up with a roommate." She threw herself on Annabeth's bed before pulling off her boots and throwing them by the door.

Annabeth settled in next to her. "It's not too bad," she said, even though it hurt.

"I can't believe I haven't been to your dorm," Thalia was saying. She pointed at one of the pictures on Annabeth's wall. "Fuck, we look so young here."

Annabeth leaned in to look at the picture. She and Thalia looked back from it, smiling with sunburned faces over red, white, and blue snow cones. It was from their first summer together, and their youth showed in their plump faces and innocent expressions.

Annabeth hummed in agreement. "It was a long time ago."

Thalia stared at the picture for a moment longer before turning around, leaning her back on the wall. "It doesn't feel like it," she said.

Annabeth mimicked her position. Their shoulders pressed together and their knees knocked where they laid next to each other on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Thalia said, in an apology so rare it had to be genuine.

"What for?" Annabeth asked. She could feel Thalia's shrug against her shoulder.

"For getting mad," she said, then, as an afterthought, "At you."

"It's okay."

"I just… miss you."

The raw honestly took Annabeth by surprise. She opened her mouth and closed it again. How could she explain to Thalia that it was for her own good?

Thalia didn't wait for an explanation. "I'm trying, y'know. I really am." She shook her head. She hadn't gelled her hair that day and it hung softly around her face in uneven layers. "I know you and Luke have grown up and that it's different now, but it's not different for me. I just constantly feel like I'm trying to catch up with you. Like I'm running, but the ground is moving faster than I am. I can't find my footing."

It sounded so similar to something Annabeth had thought herself. She leaned her head against Thalia's shoulder. "I want to help you," she said. "I just don't know how to be the right person for you."

"I don't want the right person. I just want you. Whoever you are now. Whoever you will be."

"What if I don't have time to become someone?"

Thalia's hands, which had been playing with a strand of Annabeth's hair, stilled. "Then now is… I'll take now."

The sun slanted through the window and across the floor. Outside, birds were chittering from the trees, where small buds of green were forming on the branches. When Annabeth spoke again, it was so softly she thought Thalia might not hear her. "Sometimes I think you were right."

"Sometimes I feel like I never woke up," Thalia said, voice uncharacteristically unsure. "I don't even feel like I'm living, most of the time." She glanced at Annabeth's timer, and then at her own. "I just feel like I'm waiting."

Annabeth exhaled and lifted her head up from Thalia's shoulder. "Waiting for what?"

Thalia sighed. "I don't know." She looked at Annabeth, her eyes piercing. "What are you waiting for?"

Annabeth looked away and pushed herself off the wall. She reached for a hair tie and pulled her hair back, but it just fell through her fingers. Her shoulders slumped.

"I don't know."

:::

Annabeth collapsed into the now-familiar seat in the little coffee shop. It was her favorite seat because it was perfectly soft and nestled into a corner, so she could see the rest of the cafe. It was also conveniently close to the main counter, where Hazel could sometimes pull up a stool on particularly slow days and chat with her.

"Long day?" Hazel asked.

"Long week." Annabeth sighed, eyes closed. She liked the smell of coffee, even if she didn't like the taste, because it felt familiar. And cozy.

"Tell me about it," Hazel said. Annabeth opened her eyes and regarded her. Hazel was as pretty as ever, although her normally clear dark skin was slightly pallid, her fluffy hair was flat, and she had dark circles under her eyes. But her smile was still as sweet and genuine as always.

"How is he?" Annabeth asked softly. Hazel's smile fell into something much smaller. It had been a few weeks since Leo had been released from the hospital, but he was still in a fairly unyielding outpatient program.

"He's doing better. There are good days and bad days. They've started him on anti-depressants," she said.

Annabeth nodded. She was glad that Leo was doing better. She thought he was incredibly brave to be taking this chance, to be working to make his life better. It was very hard to pull yourself out of the place he had been, and anyone who was recovering like he was had to be incredibly strong.

"You could go see him," Hazel said. "The program says a large network of support can be helpful. Even Frank's come by a few times."

Annabeth shook her head. "I'm not really sure I'm the kind of support they're talking about."

Hazel seemed to understand what she meant. "But you may not… if Percy's still around."

Annabeth shook her head again. "He won't be."

"You're gonna tell him?"

"No."

"He's not gonna just let you disappear, Annabeth," Hazel said, straightening as a customer walked through the door. "You know him better than that."

Hazel went to help the customer at the cash register and Annabeth watched her smile through her obvious stress and exhaustion. She moved around the coffee machines swiftly, chatting politely with the customer as she went. When she was finished, she moved back over to where Annabeth was sitting.

"Here you go," she said, handing Annabeth the drink. Annabeth took it gratefully. She started fishing around in her bag for her wallet, but Hazel just held up her hand. "On the house."

"Thank you," Annabeth said, ceasing to look through her bag and instead inspected the cup.

"It's a London fog," Hazel said. "New on the menu. And you look like you need it."

"Lunar Lake Tea," Annabeth murmured, tasting it.

"Huh?"

Annabeth shook her head. "Do I really look that bad?"

Hazel just gave her a sympathetic look. "You wanna talk about it? I mean, I'm assuming it's more than just… y'know, Leo."

Annabeth scoffed lightly, something that did not go unnoticed by Hazel. Hazel raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I'm not—not about Leo," Annabeth quickly explained, "I just don't really want to talk."

"Fair enough," Hazel said, pushing some of her coily hair away from her face. "You don't have to talk to me about it. But you should talk to someone." She paused for a second, her face taking on a slightly more uncomfortable expression. "When's your birthday again?"

Annabeth tried to appear nonchalant, but she liked talking about it about as much as Hazel appeared to. "July," she said, and then "twelfth," as an afterthought.

"That's less than four months away."

"I'm aware," Annabeth said, with more venom than she intended. She flinched at Hazel's disapproving expression.

"I didn't mean anything by it," Hazel said, sighing as another customer entered the shop. They were lucky it had been such a slow day so far, but it seemed as though the after-work rush was about to start. Annabeth nodded. "Just, make sure you spend time with the people you love. Before you can't. That's what I would have done differently." She patted Annabeth's hand and stood up to help the next customer.

Annabeth took that as her cue to leave. She probably stayed too long anyway. She gathered her bag and put her jacket back on, nodding at Hazel as she worked on the customer's cappuccino. She was pausing by the door to throw away her cup when Hazel called out to her.

"I think Leo'd like it if you went to visit him," she called across the shop. "Even if…" Several pairs of eyes turned to look at Annabeth and she grimaced at the extra attention and the lie she would have to tell.

"Yeah, I'll think about it," she said, waving back at Hazel as she pushed the door open with her shoulder. As the chilly air hit her, she was suddenly hit with regret from leaving the warm little shop, and Hazel's equally warm company. But then, she remembered Hazel's forced smiles and tired eyes after the stress of nearly losing a friend, and she just buried her nose in the collar of her coat and forced herself to endure it.

:::

Annabeth had always been comfortable with solitude. She had a habit of getting in her head—living in her own little world where the things she was currently concentrating on—whether it was school work, a new book, or some random interest that had completely taken her over were the only things that existed. She knew how to keep herself sufficiently distracted, and growing up the way she did, she knew how to be alone without feeling lonely.

So, she didn't know why right now, lying in her bed on top of the covers despite the goosebumps on her arms, she felt lonelier than she ever had before. She'd gotten used to it—used to Piper's understanding, Hazel's warmth, Percy's love. She'd leaned on them for too long, and now it felt like she couldn't stand without falling. She felt like crying.

What am I doing?! Annabeth thought to herself. They make me so happy, why am I giving this up. She wasn't usually one to question her own judgment—she'd been criticized for this more than a few times in the past—but she was seriously questioning her decision-making skills at the moment.

What Thalia and Hazel had said didn't help.

What are you waiting for?

Before you can't.

The answer should have been obvious—there was even a countdown built into her. But her date didn't feel like the end—not anymore. That had come much earlier, maybe even as soon as the timer was implanted into her arm. The end had never been a date, it was a decision.

But it was a decision she had made long ago, before she'd even met Percy, or Hazel, or even Thalia. And now Annabeth was afraid it was too late.

She turned over to face the wall, tracing the bumps in the plaster with her finger. What about what Percy had said, all those months ago. When he was talking about infinities and possibilities and counting seconds like stars. Didn't she deserve that? Didn't she deserve to be happy, with what little time she had?

Her phone rang, but she ignored it. She didn't know what else to do, she didn't know what to decide. Was her happiness worth the happiness of others? Of the people she loved?

The phone stopped ringing and she sighed. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Her room had grown dark around her after she had decided to put away her worksheets. She remembered that Percy had glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling and it just made her miss him more.

Her phone rang again, seemingly more urgent than before. Annabeth grunted as she sat up. She could at least silence her phone while she wallowed. She braced herself to see Percy or Piper's number, or maybe Thalia's (although she hadn't heard anything from Thalia in a few days now). Instead, she saw a name she had only ever received a call from once, a name she only had for emergencies. She slid over the accept call button.

"Mr. Grace?"