I looked at the thirty-nine-year-old man before me, noticing the many gray strands in his short brown hair that hadn't been there the last time I saw him. His hazel eyes looked older, more tired, but also wiser… He didn't seem, at all, the annoying guy that I had grown up with.

"You look more mature." Dimitri said in his thick voice from the armchair opposite the sofa.

"I was going to say the same about you." My tone came out dry as I leaned on the sofa backrest.

"Should we address the elephant in the room before anything?" He asked seemingly unaffected, but I knew my brother better than that.

I just pursed my lips, shrugged, and gestured with my hand for him to go on.

"I'm truly sorry, Edward. I really am." He said in a solemn tone, his eyes softening as repentance gleamed in them. "I was a terrible brother… a very omissive and insensitive one."

I squinted involuntarily, the echo of the hurt his past reaction had caused me clouding my judgment a little.

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to push away the painful memories.

"I understand why you've avoided me for the last three years… But can we use this opportunity to mend our relationship? I hate that you hate me."

"I don't hate you." I hastened to say, but the hurt was there, loud and clear, underlining my words.

"But you haven't forgiven me." He paused with expectant eyes, and when he understood I wasn't going to reply, he sighed and resumed. "I need you to forgive me."

I nodded and took another deep breath in.

"You used to be my hero when we were kids, you know..." It was a rhetorical question but Dimitri nodded subtly. "And I thought you would always be there for me… I had never considered that you would react the way you did when I came out to you."

"I can't justify my actions back then but, I just need you to understand that I was shocked, Eddy. I didn't know what to think and I actually got scared of what that would cause to our family."

"I needed you." My voice broke a little. "I needed your support and that's why I went to you first."

"I know." His eyes were shimmering with tears, which surprised me but didn't stop me.

"You turned your back to me, Dimi. Literally." The pain was patent in my voice. "You told me you didn't want to get involved and would pretend I had said nothing, you didn't look at me after I told our parents, you didn't even speak to me after that."

My brother sighed heavily and closed his eyes for just a second before looking at me again.

"I was afraid, Edward…" His tone gave away his regret. "I know that was stupid of me, but I didn't know better."

"You were disgusted." I affirmed in a quivering voice and dropped my gaze to the floor because I didn't want the confirmation.

Dimitri stood up and came toward me. Hesitantly he sat by my side.

"No, I wasn't." He said softly. I looked at him. "I was just… Embarrassed."

I gasped.

"Edward, listen." He pleaded with his words and eyes. "I was stupid… after I had time to assimilate everything and realized how difficult all that was to you I truly regretted the way I reacted, but then it was too late, you were already gone. And I know it took me a while to admit that I was the one that needed to reach out, but I did, didn't I…? I've tried to reach you… but you didn't give me a chance."

"I was still too hurt…" I shook my head while saying that.

My brother's eyes glinted and they oddly seemed hopeful all of a sudden.

"And now you're not anymore?" There was hope in his voice too, I could hear it.

I hesitated.

"I'm not sure." I heaved a sigh. "I called because I need your help. I didn't really think about it any further."

"If you thought of me to help you, then it's a start." Dimitri stated with a tentative smile.

"Maybe." I replied uncertainly.

Dimitri sighed once again and I took another deep breath while averting my eyes.

"Okay… Let's focus on the issue. Your boss's ex-boyfriend has been threatening you and, apparently, ransacked your apartment."

I looked at him seriously.

"Not apparently, he did it." I stated.

"I told you, that message didn't prove anything."

"The timing was too perfect, Dimi. How would he know?"

"I agree with you, but, technically, it wouldn't be considered enough evidence." Dimi clarified. "And why is he jealous of you, again?" He squinted, obviously suspicious.

The thing was, I didn't want him to know about me and Jasper.

Yes, he knew I was gay, he seemed to be ready to accept me for who I was, but, somehow I wasn't ready to share with him anything about my relationship. Not yet.

So I had slightly altered the story…

"As I told you… My boss and I are close friends…" Saying that again seemed so weird that my throat hurt a little. "And his abusive obsessive ex-boyfriend, who has just resurged in his life, thinks we have something going on, but we don't."

"You really don't…?" He was scrutinizing my face, looking for a crack in my facade.

But one thing I had learned when I was younger, mainly around my family, was to sustain a lie if I needed to.

"We really don't." My affirmation came out steady.

Dimitri nodded, seemingly convinced.

"Unfortunately, all the evidence you provided is circumstantial. I can't effectively do anything official for now, unless I get something solid against him."

"So you can't help me."

Dimitri held my forearm lightly and shook his head.

"I can and I will. I will never turn my back to you again." He assured me and I held back a smile. "I'm just telling you that I'll need proof to solve this problem permanently. What I'll do for now is just a temporary solution." He explained with an earnest stare. "I will investigate but I'll have to do that off the record and from afar because I have to go back to Washington."

I just nodded, still feeling a bit unsafe.

I guess my brother could still see through me...

"Don't worry, I'll put someone of my trust to keep an eye on you. You won't be unprotected again."

"Okay." I breathed the little word out in plain relief.

We were staring at each other guardedly and in silence for a brief moment.

"Can you tell me about college?" Dimi asked in a cautious tone. "How are you doing with your studies?"

I couldn't restrain the spontaneous chuckle that bubbled up my throat. I couldn't deny I was fucking glad that my brother wanted to know more about my life.

Dimitri smiled and I started to tell him about my academic journey.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter18#

Half a week later, the night was running high on the upbeat music and fervent mood… The club was full and I had been so busy serving drinks that it really took me a while to realize that I hadn't seen my boyfriend since I arrived hours earlier, which was odd.

Whenever Jasper got to the club after opening time, he would always come straight to my station, and since he had never shown up later than midnight, and it was way past two, I found it strange.

I didn't feel anxious or suspicious, though. He had been busy and arriving pretty late for a couple of weeks because he had some issues to deal with regarding the club… At least that had been what he told me.

He never lied to you.

I nodded to myself and just kept working.

About forty minutes later, an unmistakable big hand was covering my nape. And as the long familiar fingers ran through my short strands there, I sighed, feeling relief.

"Time for a break, Freckles." Jasper's voice tickled my left ear and I involuntarily closed my eyes while smiling.

I turned carefully because I didn't want to spill the drink I had just finished preparing.

"Hey." I uttered looking up at his big amber eyes.

Jasper smiled crookedly.

"Hand it over." He said over the loud music. "Who's this for?"

I pointed to the guy waiting at the bar and he nodded after glancing at him.

"Wait for me outside." He said as he moved to give the customer the drink.

I didn't have to wait much. I had just gotten out at the back of the club when I felt his presence behind me and turned.

Jasper held my face in his hands in haste and kissed me intensely, seeming just a tad desperate.

Of course I went with the flow… Kissing him, being with him was the best part of my day. So I melted in our connection and kissed him back just as fiercely.

He rested his forehead on mine when we got apart a minute or so later. We were both breathless.

"I missed you." He whispered.

My heart pumped faster. I pulled a bit away and looked into his eyes.

"I did too." I replied in slight surprise. It wasn't common for him to say that kind of thing. "Why were you so late?" It just escaped out of me.

"Dealing with shit." He explained succinctly. "Can we stay at your place tonight? I miss your bed."

I chuckled.

"Your bed is bigger and way better than mine." I gave back laughing lightly.

"Your bed is impregnated with your scent." He replied while leaning in. "I sleep better if I'm surrounded by it."

"You have my scent fresh from its origin!" I said while opening my arms to show my body.

Jasper smiled devilishly and pulled me back to him.

"So wrap yourself around me tightly tonight." He asked in a loving tone. I smiled softly. "Can you do that, Mr. Freckles?"

I chuckled again before wrapping my arms around his neck.

I nodded and kissed his lips lingeringly. Jasper held the back of my head once I tried to pull away and deepened the kiss.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter18#

I had just woken up to get ready to go to class the next morning when I realized my phone's notification light was blinking.

There were three messages from the previous night. One from Jasper… Two from a restricted number.

I opened Jasper's message first.

#Arriving soon.

He had sent me that at three-eleven, just some minutes before he arrived.

I smiled softly, glad that he had been thoughtful.

My eyes dropped to the next text. I knew it was Maxence's. I bit my lower lip before opening it.

#Take a good look at him, see if you can tell the difference. He's been with me.

I felt suddenly cold, my heart sinking, and my stomach dropping. It was a good thing I was still sitting on the edge of my bed.

I looked at Jasper's sleeping face while remembering how desperate he seemed when he'd kissed me the night before.

I felt a little choked, a little anguished.

He just wants to get inside your head and under your skin. Don't believe a word he's saying.

I checked the time I had received the text… Three-forty.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath while reminding myself that Max was trying to manipulate the situation. He wanted me out of the picture and he would do anything to get that. That was a mind game, I couldn't just fall for it.

Think carefully about it. He wants you to doubt Jasper. This way you will argue, there will be tension, your relationship will be undermined… That's what Max wants. Nothing happened, Jasper was not with him. Don't fall for the lie.

Once I was convinced by my self-assurance, I opened the text that had been sent at one-thirteen.

#Try to call your boyfriend now and ask yourself, why isn't he answering? Don't worry, he's just a little busy but he's more than fine.

He's trying to manipulate you. Don't fall for it. I repeated in my mind over and over again.

Feeling like shit and trying to push away the doubts and fear, I erased the messages and placed my phone on my bedside table.

Taking deep breaths I got up and walked slowly to my bathroom and undressed.

It's not true. Jasper wouldn't do that to me. He loves me.

He has never said that.

He loves me. I know it.

He has never said that.

My fist found the blue-tiled wall as I tried to get outta my head.

"Fuck." I uttered in sheer pain.

My knuckles were rapidly purple and the skin was broken on some of them.

I hurried to the sink, washed my hand ignoring the throbbing pain and got under the shower.

With my eyes closed I just let the water pour over me while wishing, in vain, I must add, that it soothed my agitation a little.

He's getting what he wants… You're letting him get to you.

I covered my face with my hands and tried to empty my head.

"What happened to your hand?" Jasper's soft voice traveled through the mist of my turmoil just a second before I felt his touch on my shoulders.

I looked up at him and sighed. His eyes followed my hand while he got it into his. He seemed so worried.

He looked at me seriously.

"What happened to your hand?" He repeated the question, this time with a deeper tone and fiercer stare.

I wanted to, but my instinct didn't let me tell him the truth…

"I-I slipped and… used my fist to avoid falling on my face."

I wasn't sure how that had sounded to his ears, but to me, it had been so obvious I was lying.

Jasper squinted, and for a second I thought he could tell I was trying to deceive him… But then he chuckled humorlessly and shook his head.

"You're a little clumsy, aren't you, Freckles?" He sounded slightly wary. "Let me take care of you."

He put my hand under the hot water, holding it up for a while, then he brought it closer to his face and kissed each of my wounds softly, raising his eyes to mine only when he reached the last one.

Suddenly his eyes were blazing. I knew immediately what he wanted from me, not because I could see his cock hard and up pointing at me, but because I recognized the way he was staring at my face, as if he wanted to eat me whole.

I stepped closer and wrapped my free hand around his shaft. He gasped quietly.

"Kiss me." I demanded.

He promptly did so.

We spent the next twenty minutes attached to each other under the water spray, moaning through our urgent lovemaking.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter18#

"Check your email. I've sent you some of the pictures my source has taken." Dimi told me soon after I answered his call and greeted him. "It seems like your boss is already dealing with the issue."

I stopped walking. I had been out of my last class and on to the parking lot the afternoon of that same day.

"What do you mean?" My voice trembled a little.

"Well, he's been seeing his ex regularly." Dimitri said simply, unaware of the impact that information had on me. "The guy hasn't contacted you, has he?"

That's when I realized he really hadn't. It had been four days since the last text message.

"He hasn't." I spoke in a lifeless voice, my mind in overdrive.

"There you have it." My brother said with clear relief. "Maybe they got back together." I felt a stab in my heart. "If so, you won't have to worry, I believe he won't bother you anymore. Check the pictures. And talk to your boss. We need to make sure this whole thing is dealt with. I'll keep my agent for some more..."

His voice faded as my arm just lost force and I let it fall along my side.

"He's been seeing his ex regularly." My brother's words came back to me as gunshots.

"Maybe they got back together."

I felt dizzy… My heart was hurting… My stomach seemed to be pummeled in my feet, I couldn't breathe.

Calm down, Edward. There's an explanation.

I took slow deep breaths while trying hard not to let the despair take me over.

Just check the fucking pictures.

I brought my hand closer again and opened my email on my phone. There were a bunch of photos and I scrolled through them, my teeth clenched in fear of what I would see in there.

It was true. Jasper had been with Max on, at least, three occasions, I could tell by the different clothes they were wearing in the photos…

I wasn't able to recognize the place they were, it seemed like a lobby of some sort, but there was something I could identify and that was the fact that they were not close in any of the times they met, and Jasper was always clearly upset.

There was not one single picture of them touching or even in each other's personal space. And my boyfriend was never smiling, least of all looking interested.

I sighed in relief.

Yeah, maybe he was, indeed, trying to solve the issue directly with Max. Maybe he was trying to convince Max that there was nothing he could do to break us apart or have him back. He wasn't cheating on me, he was definitely not betraying my trust.

I exhaled heavily. My chest was all sore inside and my throat was dry, but I felt a little better. I was convinced that those photos, that Jasper meeting with Maxence, all meant nothing much.

Taking a deep breath in I resumed my way to my car, still a little distracted. I threw my bag on the passenger chair and closed my door after sitting.

As I prepared myself to start the car, something coming from behind covered my face and, before I could understand what was happening, everything turned dark and I lost consciousness.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter18#

I have to wake up. I'll be late for work.

Ah… moving hurts a little…

Why can't I open my eyes?

My chest hurts… My head hurts.

Where am I?

Open your eyes, Edward.

I have to wake up.

Wake up, Edward.

"Edward, wake up. Open your eyes. Please."

I know this voice… He's worried.

I need to wake up.

Slowly I forced my eyelids open.

Ryan's concerned stare was the first thing I saw.

"Thank God!" He breathed. "Don't make any sudden moves." He spoke in a low tone. "You're in a hospital."

I tried to situate myself first, so I took in my surroundings.

I was lying in a hospital bed in a white and very cold emergency room, there was a heart monitor attached to my left forefinger, an intravenous to my right hand, and I was shirtless.

Ryan was standing next to me staring anxiously at my face. I looked at him as calmly as I could.

"How do you feel?" He asked me in a careful tone.

My chest was sore, my head was heavy and I was still a bit disoriented.

"I feel a bit drowsy. What happened?" My voice was croaky.

"I'm not sure." He replied while frowning subtly. "What the paramedic that called me told me was that you were found in your car by a passerby, unconscious and bleeding. He called 911 and you were brought here. They probably went through your phone to check your contacts. I came as soon as they reached me."

I nodded, which was a terrible idea.

"The doctor said you would feel dizzy and a bit disoriented. Apparently, you were drugged somehow." Ryan clarified in a caring tone, coming closer and resting his hand on my shoulder. "But you'll be fine and free to go by morning."

"What time is it?" I asked in haste.

"Something around eleven." He replied in a soothing voice. "Don't worry, I've called Emmett, he's aware of the situation."

"What about Jasper?"

Oddly, Ryan hesitated for a split second.

"He'll be here soon." It was all he said.

A nurse pushed the curtain away at that moment, and we both turned out heads to face the doctor that was coming right behind her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked in a deep voice while shining a bright light into my eyes.

"Just a bit dazed. My head feels heavy."

"What about your chest?" He proceeded to check below the bandage that I, only then, realized I had over the left side of my chest.

And as he asked about it, I became aware of the soreness again.

"It's aching a little." I replied in a slightly interrogative tone. "What's there?"

The doctor looked at me seriously.

"Don't you remember what happened?" His voice had no inflection. I shook my head. "You were drugged with chloroform and, probably after you fainted, the left side of your thorax was deeply cut. You got thirteen stitches."

"How deep was the wound?" A very familiar voice thundered inside of the room suddenly.

All of us looked at the standing man towering over the doctor.

Jasper's eyes were bigger than I had ever seen before and his countenance was disturbed. He seemed to have literally run over there, his hair was disheveled and his face was slightly blushed.

"Deep enough to cut through the muscle." The doctor answered him calmly. "But he was never at a life risk."

"And he was brought pretty quickly too." Ryan added.

Jasper nodded.

"Thank you, Doctor." He looked at Ry. "Thanks for calling."

Ry nodded and smiled subtly.

"When can he go home?" Jasper asked the doctor.

"By morning. He needs to stay in observation for now. The amount of chloroform he inhaled was significant, and he can still have some after-effects."

Jasper heaved a sigh and finally looked at me. His face softened and he smiled.

I smiled back involuntarily.

He came to me and gently touched my face.

"How do you feel?" His tone was caring and low.

"Much better now." It just came out straight from my mind.

I sighed.

"I'll be checking on you in some hours." The doctor said and I turned my eyes to him. "Try to rest."

He and the nurse left us and I turned to my boyfriend. Jasper smiled at me again and looked at my friend.

"You can go to the club, I'll stay." He said to Ryan.

He just nodded and looked at me.

"Call me if you need me." Ry said in a kind tone with his soft smile.

"Okay."

Then he placed his hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" He asked in an odd way, staring into Jasper's eyes fiercely.

Jasper nodded once and gazed softly at me.

"I'll be back real quick."

"Uh-huh."

I found the whole thing a bit weird, but the ache on my chest reminded me that I've been drugged and hurt most probably on purpose. Lucky me my phone was on the table next to the stretcher.

I took it and called my brother.

"You're finally awake." He uttered as soon as he answered.

I frowned.

"How do you know…?" I started to ask.

"The agent I put to shadow you was the one that found you and called 911." He clarified before I could finish the question. "He's been keeping tabs on you for me. How do you feel?"

I sighed, just a little bit annoyed by hearing that question again.

"I'm fine. Did he see who did this to me?"

"He didn't." Dimi sounded angry. "Once he saw you getting in your car he went to his so he could tail you. It was just the time for the guy to attack you and leave. Once he drove closer he realized you were unconscious, leaning on the window glass so he checked on you. The guy was already gone by then." He exhaled pretty heavily. "I was so fucking worried I almost got in a plane."

I smiled even though he couldn't see it.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm okay, I promise. I'll go home in the morning." I tried to reassure him.

"He told me you had been wounded on the chest and were bleeding a lot." I could hear the concern in his voice.

"It was a deep wound but the doctor said I wasn't at a life risk." I explained.

Dimitri was silent for almost a minute.

"This is related to Maxence Alberfort." He didn't ask, and his tone was earnest. "Edward, why did you lie to me?"

I didn't really know what to say…

"Did you really think that I wouldn't find out about your relationship with Jasper Whitlock?" He clearly wasn't reprimanding me, I knew my brother enough to notice that he was trying to understand what I had done. "I put a person to watch you twenty-four-seven. And he reported everything to me today."

"I think I was afraid of how you would react if you knew I had a boyfriend." I told him, embarrassed.

I heard my brother sighing.

"This is my fault." He uttered noticeably to himself. "I understand. But that was essential information. Well, it doesn't really matter now. I already know what I need to. I'll deal with it. You just make sure to get better and be more careful. I've already reinforced your security."

"Thanks, Dimi." I spoke wholeheartedly. "Really. Thank you."

"You're my baby brother. It's my job to protect you." He stated. "I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you before."

"Hey, it's okay. We're fine now." I assured.

Dimitri took a couple of seconds to reply.

"I know it's not my place, but… Can I just say something?"

"Sure."

"I don't trust him." He said cautiously. "Your boyfriend. And I don't think you should either."

That just stunned me, so I didn't find any words to respond to that.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Dimi asked in a gentle voice. "I'll be calling in the morning to check on you."

"Okay."

As I hung up the call, an involuntary heavy sigh came out of me.

I could understand what my brother was seeing, I could see how the situation seemed to him. He was seeing a very rich and thirteen-years-older than me playboy, who was meeting with his ex-boyfriend behind my back…

Of course Dimitri was thinking Jasper was playing me, and I had no arguments against his perception… I just had this gut feeling telling me that Jasper was honest and loved me.

Yes, he had been promiscuous in the past… but we were not official back then, and he had been pretty sincere about it. Besides, those actions were a reflex of his traumas, and they hadn't been a reality since we became boyfriends.

I knew inside me that there was an explanation to what I'd seen in the photos my brother had sent me… Somehow I just knew Jasper was trying to solve the problem and not cheating on me.

He would never go back to the man that made him suffer so much, the man that raped him.

What about Stockholm Syndrome…? The thought just popped outta nowhere in my head.

You're being nonsensical.

As I shook my head, dismissing my absurd thoughts, Jasper got back and sat beside me, turned to me.

He stared at me with an anxious look, so when he parted his lips to speak I hastened to stop him.

"Please don't ask me how I feel." I sounded a tad harsher than I had intended. "I'm okay, I just need to sleep."

I'm not sure why I felt suddenly so annoyed, so irritable. Maybe it was one of the after-effects the doctor had talked about.

Jasper didn't seem to take my rudeness to heart. He just sighed subtly and nodded before speaking in a gentle tone.

"Then sleep, Freckles. I'll be here when you wake up." He vowed.

That soothed my heart for the time being. And so I heaved a sigh and closed my eyes, giving in to the lethargy I had not truly acknowledged until that very moment.

The last thing I felt before falling into slumber was Jasper's fingers running slowly and softly through my hair.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter18#

Three days later and I was leaving my apartment to go to the club.

The wound on my chest was healing nicely but the stitches were still there and would remain there for, at least, seven more days. I knew it would leave a pretty big scar but I wasn't vain, so I wasn't really worried about it.

Jasper had been around more again. I believed because he had dealt with whatever issues he had been dealing with before. I was actually trying hard not to think about it too much…

And Maxence had not contacted me… which didn't ease my anxiety, but I was thankful for the temporary peace of mind regardless.

I just didn't know it was about to end that very night...

As soon as I got in my car I called my boyfriend to tell him I was going to arrive a little late.

He didn't answer. So I called Emmett.

"Hey, Leo."

"Hey, Emm, I'm running a bit late but I'm on my way."

"Oh, okay. No problem." He sounded a little surprised.

I found it odd but didn't dwell on it.

"See you there then."

"Yeah."

I hung up and started the car. It was a pretty short drive and in less than ten minutes I was parking.

Once I was inside the club I looked around for Jasper but didn't see him. So I went to the office in the back. Emmett was there.

"Hey, Emm, already here." I said as he told me to come in after I knocked.

"You're fast." He smiled.

"Do you know where Aiden is? I looked around but…"

Emmett frowned.

"He told me he wouldn't come tonight." He said cautiously. "I actually thought you were with him and wouldn't come either."

I felt an icy sensation in the pit of my stomach but smiled forcefully.

"Oh, yeah, I completely forgot!" I lied, not so sure why. "I'm supposed to meet him afterward." I didn't know why I said that either.

Emmett seemed a bit uncomfortable and confused. It was my cue.

"I'll go to my station."

He nodded. I closed the door and walked all the way back trying to make sense of what I had just learned.

I got to the bar feeling a little disturbed, still trying to reason. But my instinct told me something was wrong…

So I turned and went back to the entrance and called Jasper again. This time he answered on the second ring.

"Lock's phone."

All my blood rushed to my feet. I felt suddenly dizzy.

"Hello?"

The fucking voice…

"Where's Jasper?" My voice sounded oddly firm despite my turmoil.

Maxence chuckled darkly. My heart felt heavy in my chest.

"He's busy right now, little boy. Why don't you call tomorrow?"

This is not happening…

"What did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything. We are just spending some time together."

"You're lying." I stated between clenched teeth.

"Max, come on!" I heard the familiar voice, coming from the background.

Suddenly I couldn't breathe... I felt so disoriented that it seemed the floor had vanished from under my feet.

"Perfect timing, don't you think?" Maxence asked in an ironic voice.

I opened my mouth to demand that he gave the phone to Jasper but before I could utter a word the call was disconnected.

My vision was abruptly blurred, my eyes welling up with tears as devastation started to take over me.

This isn't true, Edward. It isn't true.

You heard his voice. He was there.

There must be an explanation…

My phone buzzed and I promptly brought it closer. A text message from Jasper had arrived.

#Come check by yourself. We're at his house.

I didn't think. I didn't get a single split second to react, I just walked to my car and drove like a madman to Jasper's house.

My mind was blank as I parked the car some minutes later and grabbed the keys he had very recently given me. I walked through the front door carefully, not because I was afraid but because I didn't want to call anyone's attention to myself.

And as I reached the long corridor, and those sounds reached my ears, my heart pummeled and my stomach sank. I felt weak but I knew I had to see it for myself…

I forced my steps toward the door I knew so well.