(Billie Eillish- Lovely)
"Unless they explicitly threaten us, there isn't much we can do." Keith told his daughter while settling into his seat. It felt strange being in the Sheriff's department instead of his office at Mars Investigations. She had just finished updating her father on the Fitzpatricks presence at Weevils funeral and the lead Hector shared about Chardo.
"Got it, not much the Law can do." Veronica quipped in her best Vinnie impression.
"Veronica…" he warned in a gravel-voiced paternal tone. Tough love... they were going to do the work this time. He wouldn't be repeating the mistakes he made during the Lily Kane investigation. He would seek out all avenues of investigation, at least he could rule out Logan who had been with Parker at the estimated time of Caitlin's murder.
After the media frenzy surrounding court proceedings of the Felix Toomes case, and the trending news linking the death of another young woman with connections to the Echolls family. Keith could understand the young mans reluctance to join them for dinner so Veronica had brought take out to the station instead.
"Fine- no deal breaker." she replied holding her hands up in a placating gesture. He'd refused to pull strings to leverage his contacts and contact Chardo Navarro so she could give the entitled thug an unfiltered piece of her mind. "I'll concentrate on Popcorn, sodas and an easy semester of study, sun, sea and sex."
Of all the curveballs life had thrown Keith Mars hearing his daughter joke about her romantic life always sounded as wrong to his parental ears as Donald Trump's tan lines in cut-off jean shorts.
"You jest like I am not aware of the sophisticated nature of this game but I still hold power of attorney if you have boys in your room." He retorted.
"I'm fine with that, I've seen how well you manage your own blood sugar but it's going to be painful to watch when you realise I'm now old enough to know sex is not confined to my bedroom." Veronica joked.
"Do I need to bring Logan down for questioning? Because he is aware that he is dating the daughter of the Sheriff…" the older Mars deadpanned.
These quick-witted repartees made him appreciate the significant impact of genetics and such an obvious mirror of himself was a proud moment as a parent. Most people had unrealistic expectations about what raising children was all about, but knowing that while parents have much influence over how their kids turn out, their control was limited.
The press release stated authorities in the coroner's office had identified the body as local reality star Caitlin Ford and that it was being investigated as a 'highly suspicious premature death' and the Mayor Yates had seemed placated with his progress but for Keith there could be no positive spin on this tragedy.
Watching David Ford living his worst nightmare as he emotionally disengaged identifying his daughter's body, overcome with a numbness until emotions had time to catch up with what the mind had been told. His wife, Marcella's explosive response had simmered to tearfully looking at photo albums of family trips and special events this afternoon. Nothing in life prepared those left behind for the reality that someone they love has died a violent death.
Just like that, everything they have ever known… stripped from them.
Murdered and thrown into a dumpster like a mangled piece of trash.
"You watch different shows on TV and your heart goes out to these families but then one day you become a family with the murder of a loved one it's surreal" Deputy Sachs had observed during their drive back.
You never think it can happen to your own family.
Murder had its own deeper level of denial and shock, and grief was as unique as a finger print. All deaths had the capacity to overwhelm, shock, terrify, and shatter worldview. Grief after murder had many expressions; in the Mars family that meant doing the work, finding the evidence. It was cathartic. Trying to figure out why, how, when and who. Telling the story helped. Many people lived with the assumption that the world is a predictable, fair, and just place. Unfortunately they also knew only too well that solving the case did not necessarily mean justice and the murderer could walk free because the legal system had its own rules.
He would never understand why people did it and that was hard to swallow because it's human nature to want answers. None of that changed that a life had been cut short through an act of cruelty. Moments like this made him feel like time was moving at them too fast. Part of him was still looking for that little girl who'd cried over losing her front tooth the weekend before class pictures were taken. Grappling with that increased awareness of one's own mortality had been a source of physical fatigue and anxiety since he'd put back on that badge, if anything life since his daughter had started College felt like his own was under reconstruction.
Things get tangled, thoughts and emotions get fused, and people sometimes find themselves utterly stuck.
Maybe that's why missing Eli Navarro's funeral had impacted him so much.
Veronica had proven she prepared for the road ahead he just wished he had as much certainty in his own journey.
She leaned back in her seat. "A proud fact to brag on to grandbabies"
"Is there a protocol to delay mentions of motherhood until after you finish grad school.. twice?" her father replied.
"Nope, I'm just going to baby ambush you. That's what all the cool kids are doing these days." Veronica quipped. "Hormones.. Tequila... these things happen!"
"Veronica.."
"I'm serious-a uterus should come wrapped in yellow caution tape." she teased tossing the last of her noodles into the trash can.
"Every day I ask myself why I didn't give into and Liane send you to Catholic school." he sighed shaking his head.
"Ah that's easy... the rumination, the social isolation, the feelings of guilt..." Veronica said hinting at the mug shot of Weevil sitting on her fathers desk. The elephant in the room, the thing neither had really talked about.
Logan's assurance he was merely 'processing' the news 'another former sweetheart was pushing up daisies' but Veronica knew his tone was abnormal and highly stressed. He could go through the revelations more privately this time but the prevalence of homicide survivorship among young adults in Neptune meant the news of Caitlins death was grief triggering traumas that neither of them had dealt with.
He still refused to talk to her about his father.
Death didn't let you say goodbye. It never gave you the option to make peace.. to find understanding...
The only thing it gifted was a grief that made you afraid to have feelings and a fear that time was running out and a need to find greater meaning.
But if losing Lily had taught her anything, you cant save someone whose already dead.
It was said grief came in stages, but they weren't boxes to check off and when dealing with a loss upon another loss. Denial had its protections but when the pretences slipped away, reality slammed just as hard as always.
