Hey all, here is the next chapter for this fic. I just wanted to let you all know that I am moving back to college this week and classes also start next Monday. With that, I will still update this story, but I cant guarantee that the updates will be weekly like they have been. In regard to my story, I don't know if I would say this is necessarily an AU, but not everything is the same as in the show. So, I'm asking that anything you read that does not fit in with the usual Criminal Minds world, please remember that this is a story and it's just what my mind came up with. I say this, because in this chapter, Jamie runs into Diana (Spencer's mom) and she is not sick. I also wanted to give another thank you to everyone who has followed/favorited this story. I hope you enjoy and please remember to review. Happy reading. x

All rights go to the owners of Criminal Minds, except for my original character.


Not Like This

Chapter Nine: Breakfast & Silent Judgement

May 17th, 2014

Through her closed eyes, Jamie could see the light shining through her partially open window. The sun was clearly already above the horizon and Jamie wanted nothing more than to turn off the sky. She threw her arms over her eyes, desperately wanting to fall back into a decent night's rest. Of course, though, she had no such luck. After a frustrated sigh, Jamie opened her eyes and tossed her arms around her white, fluffy bed, looking for her phone. When she found it, the time on the screen read seven-twenty-three. Sleeping past seven was actually considered "sleeping in" with the job Jamie held.

With no hope of resting for a little while longer, Jamie sat up in bed. The past couple of days had been draining for the girl. The cases she worked with her team were local, but sort of gruesome. The stress made her wary and if Jamie had any say at all, she would grant everyone in the BAU one month of vacation-paid vacation, actually. They all deserved it, but Jamie would have to be grateful for the first weekend she had off since starting with the bureau. Rubbing the sleep from her face, she got out of bed and sleepily, made her way into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, washed her face and threw her hair up into a messy ponytail. When she was finished in the bathroom, she walked over to her dresser, pulling out some workout clothes. "Might as well be productive." she muttered to herself. So, she slipped on the tight clothing and put on her best, most comfortable running shoes. Jamie grabbed her keys and her phone, walking down the steps to leave her home.

Stepping outside into the crisp and warm sun without a bad guy to chase, felt kind of foreign to the girl. Her eyes wandered her street, seeing regular folk going about their morning, drinking coffee, enjoying the morning paper and walking their pets. She locked the door behind herself and began with a slow jog towards the local park. The park in her neighborhood had a nice path to follow and on the plus side, it was safe, which was the most important thing. Since being fit was a big part of her job, she told herself not to be grumpy about being up early and doing something besides laying around in bed. As she ran, her speed picked up, her feet hitting the concrete harder and her breathing becoming heavier. It's not like she could help it, but Jamie let her thoughts run wild. Grocery shopping, serial killers, paper work, cleaning the house, Spencer…

"No, no, no. Topic not allowed, Carter." she told herself. In the month that she had been with the BAU, being around Spencer again was something she had to get used to. Ten years is a long time not to speak to someone who you once spent every waking moment with. Jamie knew that it was hard on him too, but the old flames had managed to keep professional with one another. Sure, there was the awkward eye contact and the accidental hand touching when they both reached for the coffee pot at work, but that didn't mean anything…right? Of course, it didn't, that stuff was high school at best. The girl had a tough habit of reading too much into every situation she tried to analyze. There wasn't a mutual understanding between her and her brain as to why she read so much into every little thing that happened between them, even if it was as simple as asking him where another team member ran off to. Maybe it would be better to learn how to be content with not knowing certain things and be at peace with the fact that not everything needs an explanation.

As she was running, her cellphone started to ring in the pocket of her shorts. Coming to a slow stop, Jamie grabbed the device and looked at the screen to see that it was JJ calling. Jamie attempted to slow down her breathing before answer. "Hello?" she answered, still evening out her breaths.

"Hey, Jamie." JJ's chipper voice sounded on the other end. She gave a small laugh before asking, "Is everything okay?"

Jamie nodded, as if her coworker could see her through the phone. "Yeah, I'm just out on a run right now. What's up?" Then, her mind racked up an answer she prayed wouldn't be true. "Oh no, we have a case, don't we?"

JJ laughed again on her end of the call. "No, it's not a case, but don't jinx it! I was just wondering if you wanted to join me, Garcia and Emily for some breakfast later."

"Oh, sure. That sounds good. What time?"

"How does ten sound?"

"Sounds perfect." Jamie replied, swiping away the sweat beads from her forehead. "Where should I meet you guys?"

"We all don't live that far from each other, we can pick you up."

"Okay, I'll see at ten."

"Bye, see you."

Jamie ended the call and looked around at her surroundings. She hadn't gone out with the team yet, but she had heard them talk about getting drinks or grabbing dinner before; they just never had time to do so due to their work. Now, here she was, being brought into the plans. It made her feel good, accepted, but she also felt kind of nervous. There wasn't a lot of moments for girl bonding time during cases, so now was the chance. The clock on her phone read eight-thirty-five. So, Jamie decided to run back to her apartment and grab a shower before her fresh, morning plans.


Jamie had always been a cold shower person (not for the reason you're thinking, so get your mind out of the gutter). Even during the winter when it was thirty below, she would turn the water to the blue side, letting the chilly stream pour down on her. Yes, she made sure she was efficiently clean, never missing a spot on her olive-toned body while she let the water wake her up and wash away her mood. Something that she also liked to do when showering, was listen to music. Music had always been a thing Jamie could turn to like any other human being. When she wanted to cry, she listened to sad songs and when she was in any other mood, classic rock always filled her ears. Anything from Journey, Pearl Jam, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, AD/DC, and a lot more could be found in her music library. The music made her mood better by a landslide. So, as she was getting ready for the day, guitar riffs and drum beats filled her apartment.

Jamie brushed through her long, brown hair as it was still drying. Since it was naturally straight, she didn't plan on doing much to it. She decided to apply her regular makeup, which consisted of some concealer, powder, mascara, and a little bit of eyeliner. Once she was satisfied with the person staring back at her in the mirror, she walked over to her closet with a little pep in her step (oh, the magic of music). Pulling out a pair of dark blue jeans, she grabbed a plain white t-shirt to go along with it. She knew she could never go wrong with the basics since they practically went with everything. Throwing on her chosen outfit, she decided a pair of cute black booties and her purse would complete her overall look. She hardly ever wore her regular clothing since she was usually dressed in her work attire, so it was nice for a change.

Then, there was a knock at the door downstairs. Jamie looked at her phone, seeing the time was nine-fifty-five. Jamie shut off her music, wondering if it could be heard from outside and quickly went to open the door. The tall, red door opened, revealing each of her female coworkers. The women exchanged various greeting as Jamie stepped back, allowing them inside her home.

"Ooo, Jamie, you're looking pretty sweet, if you know what I mean." Garcia teased, sending a flirting wink Jamie's way.

"Why, thank you. And you too look rather dashing, if I do say so myself." Jamie played along. "Okay, so I just need to go and grab my purse and then we can go."

"Sounds good." JJ said.

Jamie went back upstairs to her room, swinging in on the door frame. She shut off any unnecessary lighting and grabbed her purse. Checking that she had her wallet, her badge and her phone, Jamie made her way back downstairs.

"Nice place, Jamie." Emily complimented.

"Thanks. I just barely got the last of my boxes about a week ago, so I still have some stuff to put away. But it feels like home."

"We ready to go?" JJ asked the group. They all nodded and were out the door in no time, Jamie locking up behind herself.


JJ had driven the group to a nice little café downtown. It was easy to get a table and the off-duty agents were sitting down reading along in their menus.

"I have no clue where to start." Garcia voiced, eyes wandering every inch of the large menu.

"I can tell you where I'm starting." Jamie flipped her menu around, her manicured finger pointing to the picture. "This mimosa is calling my name."

The others laughed, still reading over their menus. By the time they had all decided on what they wanted, they ordered and were engaged in a nice conversation when it took a sharp, but expected turn.

Emily cleared her throat dramatically, catching everyone's attention. "So, Jamie…"

Jamie narrowed her eyes in a suspicious, teasing manner. "Yes, Emily?"

"We've all been working together for, what? About a month now? I still think we're all dying to know…"

"Oh my gosh, yes!" Garcia yelled out, very enthusiastically.

Jamie threw her head back, laughing slightly. She knew exactly where they were going with this conversation. They were all having a great time and if she was being honest with herself, she didn't mind discussing little details of her past they all wanted to dig up. Her green eyes wandered around the table, catching each of the women's expecting, eager faces. The smile on her face wouldn't drop as she licked her lips in thought. "Ask away…" she told them, waving one hand in the air.

"Oh, this is really happening." JJ commented, sipping on her drink.

"I guess so." Jamie responded, sitting back and waiting for their questions to hit her like bricks.

"Oh, oh, okay. I'll start you off easy. Where did you and boy-genius first meet?" Garcia questioned.

"Okay, not too bad." Jamie said to herself. "Spencer and I first met at CalTech. It was orientation day and we were in the same group. We were both a little, I don't know…socially awkward, I guess?" Jamie tried to explain, earning laughs and smiles from the others. "Then, later we had a class together, we recognized each other from orientation day. And it wasn't long before we became friends."

"What about being 'special friends'?" Garcia tried to push.

"Yeah, don't press your luck here, Garcia."

"How long were you two together?" JJ asked.

Jamie raised one eyebrow, combing back through her memory. "Four-almost four and a half years. We hit it off pretty fast and eventually…it took a different direction."

"Is it weird, having to work together?" Emily wondered. "I remember the look on his face when he first saw you that day you started."

"It was-it is, actually. But we talked it out, decided that we couldn't let our past interfere with the now and our work. I think we've done a pretty good job staying civil with one another." Jamie nodded mostly to herself as she thought about her own words.

"Oh yeah? What about the staring and the hesitation before asking each other innocent questions?" Garcia taunted.

"Uh, what do you mean?"

"Oh please, everybody sees it. You two are too obvious. The guy can't ask you for a pen without sweat dripping down his face."

Jamie adjusted herself in her seat. She looked around at each of her teammates, giving them perplexed glances. Could they see something she couldn't? "That is so not true…"

"Yes, it is." JJ confirmed, smiling at Jamie.

"Is not!"

"No, they're right. And I'm sure if you asked any of the other aside from Spencer, they would agree." Emily mentioned.

Jamie scoffed, rolling her eyes in a playful manner. "Well, how would you guys feel if one day, you show up at your new job and oh, look, your ex-boyfriend of almost four and a half years, who you haven't seen or spoken to in ten years is suddenly right in front of you. And not only does he look at you like you're some sort of foreign creature, but he works in the same department as you and you have to see each other pretty much every day of the week?"

The three women stared at Jamie as they let her small rant run through their minds.

"Touché…" Garcia said.

Jamie made the motion of tipping an invisible hat, grinning at each of her coworkers. "So, any more questions?"

"I think we're good…" Emily responded.

"Sure, for now." Garcia threw back, receiving a smile from Jamie.

As if on que, their waitress had made her way to their table with their meals. All four of the women enjoyed their food and each other's company. Jamie felt comfortable and embraced the free time she had to spend with them. They shared plenty of laughs and chattered away about almost anything. Going into her new job, Jamie understood from word of mouth that the BAU team had been together for quite some time. So, coming into a place where a family had already been built, had been intimidating. Yet, here she was a month later, having breakfast with people who she could call friends.

Jamie was happy and that was fundamental.


Once they were all done with their meals and the bill had been paid, all four women were on their way out the door when a voice called Jamie's name. Jamie turned around, seeing who had called her. Her eyes went wide for a moment and she was positive that her feet were frozen to the ground. The woman approached her, a familiar warm smile on her face.

"Jamie, that's really you, isn't it?" the woman asked, sounding a little surprised.

It was like a rock was stuck in her throat. Jamie was stunned into silence as she muster up two word or even on syllable. She had no clue if this woman felt hatred for her and if she did, Jamie wouldn't blame her. The woman before her had always been nothing but good to Jamie and how did she repay her? By breaking the heart of the one person she loved the most. Finally, Jamie cleared her throat, realizing everyone was standing in an awkward silence.

"Diana…um, hi."

"Hi?" Seriously, what is wrong with you?" Jamie silently scolded herself. When she woke up this morning, she had no idea that the day would turn to this. It had to be some kind of crazy coincidence, because Jamie doubted that Spencer would tell his mother that she was around. Jamie hadn't spoken to Diana for as long as she and Spencer had been out of touch. Though, when she and Spencer were together, Diana was always so welcoming and would always tell Spencer, in front of Jamie how much she adored her future daughter-in-law. That felt like a lifetime ago, though. There was no way Diana would feel the same way towards Jamie. The girl had broken her son's heart, probably into shattered, little unfixable pieces.

"Jamie, what a surprise." Diana regarded Jamie, not attempting to hide her once-over of the girl. Then, she fixed her eyes on the other three women behind Jamie. "Jennifer, Emily, Penelope, how are you girls?"

"We're doing great, Mrs. Reid." JJ answered for them.

"Jamie, are you coming with us?" Emily asked her.

There it was, the way out. "Yes, absolut-" Jamie tried to say.

"Oh, no. Jamie, I'd love if you could join me for a cup of coffee." Diana told her.

"Uh, I don't know if-"

"I can drive you back home, too, if you'd like."

"Crap." Jamie was trapped. She turned to her fellow teammates and said, "I'll get a ride home with Diana." The rest of the group nodded, saying various goodbyes to both Jamie and Diana.

When it was just Jamie and Diana left standing, Diana asked for a small table so the two of them could catch up with one another. Sitting at the table, Jamie felt a wave of discomfort, but also some shame. There wasn't necessarily a reason for Jamie to feel uncomfortable, besides the fact that Diana could rip her a new one is she wanted to. The two women sat across from each other, silence ensuing before any conversation, whatsoever. A waitress came by, asking for their orders and both just ordered a coffee.

"So," Jamie broke the silence, dragging out the "o" sound. "how have you been, Diana?" Deep down, Jamie really wanted to hear that she had been doing well. There wasn't a part of her that had wished ill upon her or Spencer.

"I'm doing just fine, thank you." Diana answered as the waitress brought their coffees to the table. "How about you? It's been a long time."

Jamie nervously tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, it has. I'm doing quite well, actually. Um, I didn't know you had moved to D.C…"

"How would you? We haven't spoken in years, ten years to be exact."

Ouch.

Jamie sighed, holding her coffee cup as a kind of security blanket. "Diana, if you want to talk about…what happened, I'm not going to hold anything back from you. You don't deserve that."

Diana drank from her mug, eyes focused on Jamie as she did. "I appreciate that, I really do. And believe me, I know that I'm the last person you thought you'd run into today."

"Huh, you're not wrong."

"How is working at the BAU?"

"…he told you?" Jamie questioned. Apparently, she was wrong when she told herself Spencer would keep his trap shut.

"He did."

"Well, I mean, its…a lot of work. But, uh, it's that dream job I always talked about."

"I remember." Diana told her with a small smile, which Jamie returned. "Tell me one thing, Jamie. Are you and Spencer alright, being around one another? I only ask because I imagine he wasn't too…excited to have you show up."

"Okay, Diana." Jamie spoke, her voice more serious, the nervousness gone. "I'm sure you have some sort of, buried hatred for me and maybe you wouldn't mind if a bus hit me on the way out of the café, but Spencer and I have discussed this whole situation. We both agreed to be professional and refined around one another. So, if there's something you need to say to me, whatever you've been holding in for ten years, let's hear it."

Diana didn't respond right away. She sat across from Jamie, hands folded on the table. Her eyes matched the same intensity as Jamie's, neither of them backing down. "What happened, Jamie?"

"…pardon?"

"With you and my son."

Jamie filled with disbelief. "I'm sure he told you what happened."

"Of course he did, but that was his side of the story. I want to hear yours-I've wanted to hear yours for the past ten years, but you were gone before we could talk."

"So, you're holding some sort of grudge against me?'

"Not at all, but like I said. I'd like to hear your side."

Jamie sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She looked at the window next to her, watching the traffic of cars and mild-mannered people. Shrugging her shoulder, her mouth opened and closed, her mind searching for a reason good enough. "Life happened."

"Elaborate a little for me, won't you?"

"I don't-I mean, there were several circumstances that played into that final decision."

"But if I recall, that final decision was made by you…" Diana remarked.

"Fine, yes. I called it off, but…for good reason."

"Would you change it?" Diana questioned, her eyes never leaving Jamie.

"…no." And that was the honest truth. If Jamie hadn't of called off their relationship at the four-and-a-half-year mark, who knows if she would've ended up where she was now. "And I don't think it's fair of you to basically corner me in public and sit there, silently judging me. Yes, I hurt Spencer and that has been with me since I left. So, if you want me to feel bad, congratulations, because I do and I always have." Jamie stood up from her seat and dug her wallet out of her purse. She took out a ten-dollar bill, letting it fly down to the table as she let it go. "Coffee's on me. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll walk home. It was nice to see you, Diana."

Jamie walked away from the small table, leaving Diana to watch her leave. The day been going to well, then disaster struck. Her exchange with Diana could've gone the other way, if it didn't seem like Spencer's lovely mother was trying to shame her. Her walk down the streets back to her apartment wasn't too bad. She had to weave her way through the sidewalks, through the traffic stops, but eventually made it back to her place. A small part of her wanted to call Spencer and tell him about his mother; but she knew it wouldn't make the situation any better.

Jamie Carter may have not always taken the selfless high-road and she may have stepped on people along the way, but she looked at herself in the mirror every day and told herself she did the right thing and she wasn't going to hate herself for it.

It was too late for that.

Ten years too late.


Thank you for reading and please remember to review. I would really appreciate it.

If you like Supernatural, check out my other work(s): The Unforeseeable Life of Alexandra Winchester & Alexandra Winchester: One-Shots