Chapter 11
Waking up the next morning, we both get up and head out for coffee. Sitting at the bar, me next to him, both of us enjoying the coffee and the quiet. I feel him put his hand on my thigh and I smile softly at him. I lean over and kiss him softly and he pulls me to stand between his knees. I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands go to my hips. I put my forehead to his and kiss him softly. "I love you Tiggy." I whisper. "I love you too babe." Gemma walks up and says "Let me steal your Old Lady a minute." Tig nods and I walk over to the side with her. "What's up?" I ask. "You have a visitor in the office." she tells me and I look at her confused. "Who?" I ask. "Lucas." she tells me and I look at her even more confused. I look at Alex and Gemma says "Might not be a bad idea to take your Old Man with you." knowing that I don't want to see him because of how bad our breakup was.
Walking over to the bar, I tell Tig. "You remember my ex? Lucas?" I ask and I see him glare and he nods. "He's here. Asking for me." I tell him. "Let's go." he tells me, taking my hand and lacing his fingers with mine as we walk out to the office. Lucas walks out of the office as we walk out of the clubhouse and Tig says "Stay behind me." I nod and me and Gemma follow him to where Lucas is standing. "You need something?" Tig asks. "Want to talk to Penny." he says. "What do you need with her?" Tig asks, keeping me behind him. "Don't think that concerns you." Lucas says. "Anything you need to say to my wife is my concern." Tig says. "Wife?" Lucas asks. "Yeah. Now, what do you need?" Tig asks. "You really married his old ass? Seriously?" Lucas asks and I say "Yeah I did. Now you can leave." Lucas shakes his head. "Only man you can get to take your fat ass is someone old enough to be your father." he says laughing. Tig steps closer to Lucas, letting go of my hand, and says "Your best bet is to leave. Now. And if you come near my wife again, I will fucking kill you."
I turn around and leave them standing there and head to the roof with Gemma following me. She grabs my arm to stop me and I tell her "I just need a few." before climbing the ladder. When Tig gets Lucas to leave, he walks into the clubhouse and Gemma walks up. "She's on the roof." Tig nods and heads up the ladder.
Walking over to where I am sitting, he pulls me to stand and takes the seat I was sitting in and pulls me to his lap. I lay my head on his shoulder and he kisses my temple. "I don't think he's coming back." he tells me. "Thank you." I tell him. "You know that shit he was saying ain't true right?" he asks. "I know." I tell him. "I love you." he tells me. "I love you." I whisper. "Let's go lay down." he tells me and I nod.
We walk into the dorm and he sits on the bed and takes his boots off before laying on the bed next to me. He holds me close but I can't get my mind to shut off. He leans over me and kisses me softly, deepening the kiss just a little and I feel him start to raise my shirt up and I stop him and pull away. Tig grabs my hand and pulls me to lay back down. "Don't do that. Babe, you're the sexiest thing I have ever laid eyes on." he tells me. "I need to go help Gemma." I tell him and head towards the door but he grabs my hand and stops me. "No you don't. Look at me." he tells me. I look up at him and he kisses me softly before telling me "Let me show you how fucking perfect you are." I nod and he leads me back to the bed. We lay down and he starts to undress me and as much as I don't want him to see me, I let him. He sheds his own clothes and enters me slowly. Making love to me nice and slow, we both find our release. He lays beside me and I pull the covers up around us so he can't see me. "Don't hide from me Doll." he says and I just nod as I snuggle into his chest.
Over the next several days, I am still having sex with Tig and still eating but I always make an excuse to sneak to the bathroom to purge it. I have to lose weight. I have to get skinny. I walk out of the bathroom and see one of the croweaters standing there. I look at her and say "Don't say a word to anyone. Please." She nods and I walk away.
Walking out to the main room, I sit at the bar and ask the prospect for a bottled water. He hands me one and I walk to the roof again. I've been spending a lot of time up here. While I sit on the roof, I can see the guys milling about and watch Tig pushing Abel on the swing. I hear someone coming up the ladder and see it's Jax. He takes the seat next to me and says "He's good with my boys." I nod and say "He is." He looks at me and asks "You thinking about kids with him?" I nod and say "We've talked about it but...we've talked about it." I say. "But what?" he asks. "I see how he is with your boys and his daughter. We've been talking about it." I tell him again. "So you keep saying. You wanna tell me what's really on your mind and why you're sitting up here alone?" he asks. "Just needed some time to think." I tell him. "About?" he asks. "I love Tig so fucking much." I say and I feel a tear fall. "But?" he asks. I shake my head. "Just shit running through my head. Lucas showed up. Talking about the only one I could get to marry my fat ass was someone old enough to be my father. You know his age doesn't bother me." I tell him. "But the comment about your weight does." he says and I nod. "You realize you're not fat right?" he asks and I don't respond. "Right?" he asks and I say. "Doesn't matter." before getting up and heading down the ladder.
I walk into the dorm and to the bathroom and lock the door. I start to purge what little is on my stomach before getting into the shower. I hear someone knock on the door but I don't answer when I hear Tig call out. I finish my shower and then after getting dressed in a baggy shirt and some sweats, I walk out into the dorm. "Come here." Tig tells me from his spot on the bed. I walk over and he holds out his hand. I take it and he pulls me into his lap. "You know I love you." he says. "I know. I love you too." I tell him. "I talked to Jax." he says and I stand up and wrap my arms around myself. He looks up at me and says "What do you need from me?" I shake my head and say "You're already doing it." I tell him. "Apparently it's not enough if you won't even look at me." he says. "It's not you. You've been amazing Alex, just, I can't...I...I need space." I tell him and he looks at me shocked. "Bull shit. You need to get rid of that shit that fuck boy put in your fucking head. You think I don't know you've been making yourself fucking puke up everything you eat? How long you been doing that shit?" he asks. "Few days." I whisper. "That shit stops now. I'm not losing my fucking wife because some fucking ex wants to fuck with your head. You let me worry about him. You just keep being the beautiful fucking angel you've been for me. Do you hear me?" he asks and I nod. He steps in front of me and says "Look at me." and his voice is very dominating. I look up at him and he says "You are smart and beautiful and sexy and you're mine. The only one that needs to be happy with you is you but baby you make me so fucking happy." he says and I nod. He pulls me close and I whisper. "Thank you."
He leads me to the bed to lay down and lays with me. Holding me close, we just lay there, together. I feel him rub his hand up and down my back and I can't get close enough. After a little bit, he says "You need to eat something." I shake my head and say "I'm not hungry." He tilts my chin up and says "You're going to eat something. I need to put some meat on your bones if I'm gonna knock you up. You still owe me a kid, remember?" he asks and I nod. Kissing me hard, when we separate, he says "You're fucking perfect." I nod and say "I love you Alex." before we get up and he leads me to the bar to get Gemma to get me something to eat.
