Hey all, here is the next chapter for this fic. As usual, I want to give a big thank you to those of who you have favorited and/or followed this story. I honestly never imagined having this many people like this story. Also, I'm in a bit of a rough spot with this story, meaning that I don't know how to write what I want to deliver. The current arc that I'm working on, I have everything planned out, but I just don't know how to write it out; but don't worry, that wont stop chapters coming for you all. I have some great original cases that are being worked out at the moment, with the help of my friend Darcy.
I haven't gotten a lot of feedback from the last couple of chapters, so if some of you could take the time to write me about how you think the story is going, things you might expect to see, or scenarios you may want to see, leave it in a review-or even PM me! I enjoy talking with you all! I hope you enjoy and please review. Happy reading. x
All rights go to the owners of Criminal minds, except for my original character.
Not Like This
Chapter Twenty: Here's to Twenty-fifteen
December 31, 2014
Jamie had been getting ready in her apartment for the past two hours. It was New Year's Eve and some of the members of the team had made plans to go out to a local bar. Jamie was so down for the idea, she couldn't contain herself. It had been a rough couple of weeks since she returned to the field and she was in need of a good time. The whole "going out" plan came from none other, than the wild mind of one Penelope Garcia and she managed to wrangle up Morgan, JJ, Jamie and possibly Spencer.
The dress that Jamie decided to wear never saw the light of day except for one other time, a time that she wasn't to fond of. Now, it was perfect for the occasion. It was fitting and simple, just her style. Her hair was flowing and her makeup was a little more than usual, but that was okay. It was almost ten o'clock and that's when the others said they would be at the bar. So, Jamie strapped on her heels and rushed out the door, grabbing her keys and a small purse before she left. Locking the door behind her, Jamie strolled down the long driveway, approaching her car. She hopped in the driver's seat, turning the engine and began driving downtown on the sleek, black roads. The radio played some pop song, filling Jamie's ears with beats and electronic sounds. Her fingers tapped on the steering wheel as she drove along the busy roads and she kept her eye out for a parking place as she arrived at her destination.
When she found a parking space, she quickly parked her car and grabbed her bag, exiting her vehicle. Her heels sounded on the rocky pavement as she strutted towards the entrance. There, she was met with the friendly, familiar faces of her friends as they were waiting for her arrival. A smile grew on her face as they saw her approaching and she threw her arms open, engulfing each of them in a hug.
"You look so good!" Penelope told her, using Jamie's arm to twirl her around.
"You do, too!"
"Carter, you ready for tonight, sweetheart?" Morgan asked her, rubbing his hands together and smiling.
"Oh, I'm so ready! I think we all deserve this."
"Let's get going then," JJ said, waving her arm at them to follow her into the bar.
"Wait, no Spencer tonight?" Jamie wondered, sending her eyes searching, hoping she would see him coming around the corner.
"I don't know," Penelope replied. "He just said he'll see."
Jamie felt a tinge of disappointment, but it was on Spencer if he missed out on a good time. The group of four entered the bar, instantly being hit with the smell of booze and the sound of laugher tangled with the music. The bar's name was Red Derby and it certainly lived up to its name. Even through the dimly lit atmosphere, the red décor and furniture stood out against everything. There were people downing drinks and slamming their glasses down on the bar, others in New Year's attire, crazy hats and bead necklaces. Bodies consumed the other side of the building, dancing along to the beat of the music. Luckily, they found a free table and sat down in some chairs, still absorbing the new surroundings. Just as they settled, a bartender, of the male variety, came over to take their orders. Jamie perked up, biting her lip as she sent Garcia a raised eyebrow.
"Hey, what can I get for you folks?" he asked around, smiling at the ladies.
Jamie smiled back and turned more to face the attractive individual. "Do you guys have a special drink tonight?"
"We sure do. It's called Tickled Pink and its champagne, pomegranate juice and some lime. It's a big seller for the ladies, such as yourselves."
"Oh, I want one of those!" Penelope told him.
"I'll take one, too." Jamie told the bartender, keeping her smile on.
"Okay, two specials and how about you two?" he asked, looking at JJ and Morgan.
"Nothing for me," JJ told him. "I'm a DD tonight."
"Let's do a shot of Smirnoff and a coke."
The bartender wrote down the order and nodded, "I'll have those out shortly."
When he walked away, Jamie watched him disappear into the crowd. "Ugh, where can I get one of those?"
"I bet there's some ripe for the picking." Penelope told her, pointing her finger around the bar.
"I'm so glad we have the night off."
"You're telling me," Morgan mused. "This'll probably be it for a while."
Jamie slapped him playfully on the arm, "Don't jinx it!"
The cute bartender brought their drinks quickly and placed them in front of their rightful owners. "Okay, is that all for you guys?"
Jamie pulled a wad of cash from her purse and asked, "How much?"
"That comes out to seventeen-fifty." he replied, writing something down on his notepad.
Jamie pulled a twenty from her hand and handed it over, just as she was being handed what looked like her receipt.
"Have a good night." the bartender said, leaving Jamie with a smile.
She wanted to melt into his arms and as she looked down at the paper in her hand, her eyes lit up as she saw what was written on it. He had written down his number and signed his name, Daniel. Jamie waved the paper in the air as she drank from her glass. "I got his number!"
"Let me see!" Penelope shouted, taking the paper from Jamie's hand. "Oh my god, you did!"
The girls squealed, sending JJ and Morgan into laughter.
"JJ, where's Will tonight?" Jamie wondered.
"He's at home with the boys. He was practically falling asleep on the couch when I asked him if he wanted to go, told him my mom could stay with the boys."
"Aw," Jamie teased. "dad life." She downed the rest of her drink, earning a variety of looks from her teammates. "What?"
"You had that drink for like three minutes."
Jamie shrugged, removing herself from her seat. "Hey, I don't plan on going home sober tonight." She fixed her dress and grabbed her purse, "I'm going to the bar, you guys want anything else?"
"I think we're good," Morgan laughed, along with the others.
"Suit yourselves," Jamie began maneuvering her way through the crowd, finding it a little difficult to reach her destination. As she came up to the bar counter, her eyes wandered through the rowdy crowd. It had been a while since she had this kind of fun and she was loving the feeling. The warmth from strange bodies covered her skin and there was an almost musky smell going through the air. When her eyes met with the entrance, she was met with a sight that she didn't think was real for a minute. She left the bar counter, once again weaving in and around patrons, coming to a stop in front of a familiar face. "Oh my god, Spencer!" she yelled, wrapping him in an unexpected hug.
"Hey, Jamie." he said calmly.
"We weren't sure that you were coming!"
Spencer scratched the side of his head, obviously unnerved by the chaotic surroundings. "Yeah, I wasn't either, but I figured why not?"
Jamie gave him a big, warm smile. It filled her body with warmth knowing that he decided to ring in the new year with his friends. "Come back to the bar with me so I can grab a drink, then we'll go back to the table." Jamie took his hand in hers and began walking, Spencer trailing right behind her. At the bar, Jamie waved down a bartender, who took immediate attention to her.
"What can I get for you?" the bartender asked Jamie, a glimmer of lust in his eyes.
Jamie laughed to herself and leaned closer to him on the counter, "Can I get two shots of Jameson, please?" She turned to Spencer, who looked so out of his element. "Do you want anything?"
"No, I'm good."
"That's it then."
The flirty bartender took two shot glasses from beneath the counter, placing them in front of Jamie. With the bottle of whiskey, he filled them to the rim, keeping his eyes on Jamie as he did. He slid them closer to her, "Here you go, beautiful."
"Thank you," Jamie replied, pulling out her money, but she was stopped by the bartender.
"These are on me." he told her, sending her a wink.
Jamie got chills and grabbed her drinks, giving the bartender a smirk. "I'll probably be back later."
"Can't wait."
Jamie gestured with her head for Spencer to follow her. They walked back to the table where Garcia, JJ, and Morgan were talking happily amongst themselves. "You guys, look who I found!" Jamie shouted, placing her shots on the table.
"My man!" Morgan greeted, a big smile on his face. He clapped Spencer on the back, offering him his seat.
"Thanks."
"So, you decided to venture out of your bubble tonight, huh?" Penelope questioned him, drinking on another glass of champagne.
"I wasn't doing anything anyways."
"We're glad you came out," JJ told him, rubbing his shoulder.
Jamie threw back one of her shots, cringing at the taste. "Woah," she shook her head, looking back at Spencer. "Are you sure you don't want anything?"
"Yeah, I don't plan on drinking."
"If Carter can't handle her alcohol, Pretty Boy here can take her home." Morgan teased, returning with another chair. He sat it down, placing himself next to JJ and Spencer.
"Oh please, I like to think I have a high tolerance."
"That's what you think"
Jamie scoffed playfully, "You've never even seen me drink anything harder than a couple of beers, Morgan."
His face lit up with a smile and he laughed, "Oh, what's that thing you say? There's a first time for everything?"
Jamie lifted her last shot into the air, "Damn right." She threw it back, taking it better than the first. "Twenty-fifteen is going to be amazing, guys. I know it."
"Cheers!" Penelope yelled, clinking shot glasses with Jamie and Morgan. At the same time, they all drank their shot, placing the glass upside down on the table.
"Woo!" Jamie shouted, clapping her cheeks frantically with her hands. There was no doubt in her mind that she was past tipsy, along with Penelope, though, who had a few less shots than her. It was like they just kept coming to her, either she made her way to buy more, or they were sent to her by other people. She didn't always know who, but that didn't matter, they were free drinks. Spencer and JJ laughed at their drinking friends, sometimes have to help Jamie or Penelope from their seats. Stories were passed around and laughs were shared through the night, and Jamie wouldn't want it any other way.
"Did you drink like that in college, Jamie?" JJ wondered, amused by the idea.
"Um, I never-" she hiccupped in between her words, confused on how to answer her question. She looked to Spencer, hoping he would fill her in. "Spencer, did I do that?"
He looked slightly amused, but a little uncomfortable as well. "Not always, but you knew your limits."
"Oh, so I was a good girl?"
"I suppose so."
Then, Jamie grabbed Spencer's left wrist, shoving his watch in her face. "Guys, it's eleven-forty-seven!" The fact that Jamie could even tell time, surprised her. She released Spencer's arm, throwing it back onto the table.
"I think we need to dance!" Penelope said, dragging Morgan away from the table. They left to the dance floor and from the table, Jamie could see Morgan and how he couldn't keep the laughs from escaping him.
"Oh, that looks like fun!" Jamie exclaimed. "Spencer, come on, let's go dance!"
Spencer laughed nervously, "I think you know that I don't dance, Jamie."
Jamie made a pouty face and to everyone's surprise, even her own, her drunk mind told her it was okay to sit herself down on his lap. She felt him tense up, but thought nothing of it. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Why don't you want to dance?"
"I, uh, we can't leave JJ here by herself." he told her.
Across the table, JJ was trying to keep her laughs on the inside, but was failing. "Oh, I think I can handle myself, Spence."
Jamie perked up and her jaw dropped, "See?!" she yelled, pointing her finger at JJ, but looking at Spencer. "She can handle herself, she even said so!"
"I just don't think it's a good idea." Spencer tried to justify.
Jamie looked him in his hazel eyes, letting her green ones see into him. She grinned at him, "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No, no, um-"
"I'll take that as a yes," Jamie concluded, getting herself off of his lap. "I'm going to go find the bathroom."
"I'll go with you," JJ said, leading a slightly stumbling Jamie to the restroom. As they were walking, Jamie stopped JJ and got serious. "I'm messing it up, aren't I?"
"What do you mean?" JJ asked, shaking her head in confusion.
"I'm a drunk slob tonight and I'm throwing myself all over Spencer. I want to be friends, but sometimes it's just hard."
"I know," JJ told her, rubbing her shoulder. "but after tonight, I'm sure your newfound friendship will still be intact."
Through the music and the loud conversation, a voice boomed through the bar. "Five minutes until we hit twenty-fifteen, everybody!" People cheered and made noises with their party favors.
Forgetting the restroom Jamie smiled and took JJ by the hand, leading her back to the table. Morgan and Penelope were back, talking to Spencer about something that Jamie couldn't quite make out.
"Jamie," Penelope sang out. "who's your NYE kiss going to be?"
A kiss? In all honesty, Jamie hadn't even thought about it. Jamie shrugged, sending her eyes about in the crowd. "I don't know, but I'm not worried about it."
"Oh, got someone in mind?" Morgan joked.
Jamie scoffed, sending him an irritated, but playful look. "No, but I don't see anyone lined up to get their mack on with you now; or have I gone blind within the past two hours?"
"Ouch, that hurt, Carter."
"You have to kiss someone!" Penelope pushed.
"Two minutes ladies and gentleman!" the same voice from earlier yelled throughout the bar.
"What about Spencer?" Jamie gestured to the man. "He isn't going to kiss anyone…" She turned her head in a slow movement to look at him, giving him a suspect look. "…or are you?"
Spencer shook his head, "No, I'm not going to kiss anyone."
"One minute!"
"Ah!" Jamie yelled, causing laughs to come from some of her friends at the table.
"Reid, we can find you a nice lady in the next minute." Morgan claimed.
Jamie pointed her index finger in his direction, "Don't you dare."
"Oh, how come?" JJ asked her, her eyebrows rising.
Jamie's mind had a hard time coming to a reason as to why she had told Morgan to back off, but as the countdown entered her ears, she dropped it.
"Ten…nine…"
"I have myself a nice sir waiting for me at that table, right over there." Garcia rushed to the table, leaving the others behind. Morgan did the same, taking a woman by her waist that he had been talking to earlier in the night. Everyone in the bar was counting down and cheering. "three…two…one…"
"Happy New Year!"
The bar erupted in cheers and confetti fell from the ceiling. Jamie looked up in the mess of falling paper, her eyes following it down onto her body. She grinned to herself, her eyes coming back up to see Spencer. There was a part of her that wanted to grab him and plant a nice kiss on him, but even in her inebriated state, she knew that it wasn't a good idea. Instead, she offered him a smile and said, "Happy New Year!"
"You too, Jamie!" he yelled through the shouting crowd.
Jamie rubbed her temple, now feeling a little lightheaded from the noise and the amount of alcohol she consumed within the past two hours.
"Maybe we should get you home." she heard Spencer say in her ear.
"…what?"
"Let me take you home."
Jamie gazed at him for a moment, processing his words. When they went through, she nodded her head. "Okay, my uh, keys are…" Jamie turned her head left and right, looking for her keys. "I don't know where they are, actually."
"Her keys are here," JJ said, handing Spencer her purse.
He took it and grabbed her car keys from the inside, "You'll be okay with Garcia and Morgan?"
JJ nodded confidently, "Morgan isn't too bad, but he will need to help me with Garcia."
"Okay, I'll see you guys."
"Bye Spence, bye Jamie." JJ said, using a sing-song voice.
Before she left, Jamie snaked around the table, grabbing JJ and hugging her tightly. "I love you Jennifer Jareau!"
JJ laughed, hugging Jamie back equally tight. "I love you too, now go get some rest, okay?"
"Got it," Jamie walked back over to Spencer, knocking into a chair as she did. Spencer grabbed her by the hand and guided her towards the exit.
As Spencer unlocked the door to Jamie's apartment, she stumbled through the threshold, automatically kicking off her heels in any direction she pleased. "Spencer, you don't have to stay here."
He walked in the apartment, closing the door behind him. "It's okay, don't worry about it."
Jamie shrugged her shoulder, plopping herself down on the couch in the living room. She stretched out her limbs and laid her head on a pillow. Her heavy eyes watched Spencer as he sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "Hey…" she spoke as if she was greeting him.
"Hi..."
"I probably won't remember anything tomorrow."
"You did drink a good amount tonight."
Jamie chuckled and sat up, scratching her head. "Can you do me another favor?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Upstairs in my bedroom, there's a black chair and it has a t-shirt and some black shorts on top of it. Can you get them for me? I'd do it myself, but I don't feel like falling down the stairs right now."
Spencer nodded and got up from his seat, "Yeah, give me a minute."
"Okay," Jamie listened as Spencer climbed her stairs. Even in her current state, her brain was working in overdrive and she began thinking about deep, buried thoughts. She couldn't really help herself and if she decided to be brave tonight, hopefully she wouldn't remember it the next day. Her attention was drawn back into reality by Spencer coming back down the stairs. He walked up next to her and handed her the clothing. "Thanks."
"No problem. I'll get you some water," He left her alone in the living room, disappearing into her kitchen.
Jamie, with the clothes in her hands, stood from the couch and started undressing right there. She slipped off her dress, leaving her in her undergarments. She grabbed her t-shirt and began fumbling it around it her hands, trying to find the right hole for her head.
"Oh, Sorry…" Spencer said, coming back into the living room with a glass of water and her bottle of Advil.
"Relax," Jamie told him, finally putting on her shirt. "It's not like you haven't seen it before…" She didn't think through her words as she finished dressing herself. Walking up to Spencer, who was no doubt a tad tense in his current situation, she grabbed the glass of water from his hand and drank from it.
"Here's some Advil, too."
"Thanks," Jamie accepted the medication, popping two into her mouth and finishing her water. She sat back down onto the couch and looked at Spencer, "Come sit with me." she told him, patting the cushion next to her.
Hesitant, Spencer slowly stepped towards her, taking the seat she had patted down. The pair sat in silence for a moment. It was a little awkward, but it didn't feel too bad.
"Remember how I said I probably wouldn't remember anything tomorrow?" Jamie asked, then she laughed at herself. "Of course you do, who am I kidding?"
"What about it, though?"
Jamie cleared her throat and turned her body towards him, crossing her legs. "I'm going to be honest with you, okay?"
Spencer snickered and nodded his head, rubbing his chin. "You always were an honest drunk."
"Ha, ha, ha, very funny. I'm being serious."
"Okay," Spencer said. "what is it?"
"I've been wanting to talk to you about this, but there was never a right time. So, in my intoxicated state, I'm being brave and taking that chance now so I have something to blame if it doesn't turn out the way I hope it does."
"You're kind of scarring me…"
Jamie shook her head, "No need to be scared."
"Tell me."
"When I was sleeping in the hospital…I heard things."
Spencer noticeably stiffened at her statement, "What things?"
Jamie sighed and grabbed a pillow from behind her, placing in on her lap. "I heard you and JJ. Spencer, I know what you said."
"…what did I say?"
Jamie scoffed and rolled her eyes, "You know exactly what you said. You can't pretend that you don't remember..." They held eye contact for a long minute, until Jamie finally broke the silence. "You said that you forgive me…"
"Yeah…"
"Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"Spencer, I did something awful to you. Sure, it's been a while, but I don't understand how you can just…forgive what I did."
Spencer shrugged, clearing his throat. "It had been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."
"…that's a quote from Rose Kennedy." Jamie said, seeming unamused.
"I know, but it's one that I kept going back to."
"I feel like saying sorry another time will mean nothing."
"You've said it enough."
Before she could say another word, Jamie shot up from the couch and ran into her kitchen. At the sink, she had to let go of whatever contents she had in her stomach, the alcohol now catching up to her. She leaned over the sink, heaving for a few moments, trying to multitask and turn on the faucet. Her eyes went to the corner of the kitchen, seeing Spencer and she knew that he was debating coming to her side. So, she held one hand back towards him, telling him to not come any closer. "Trust me, it's not pretty." she mumbled.
"I believe you."
Jamie sloshed some water in her mouth and cleaned out the sink, watching her vomit go down the drain. She sniffed and grabbed some paper towels, wiping her mouth and the counter around her. "Hopefully that's the first and the last time that happens tonight."
"Are you going to be okay?"
Jamie nodded, placing her hand on Spencer's shoulder as she passed him to go back into the living room. "Yeah, I'll be okay." She placed herself down on the couch again, same position she was in before. "Hey, Spencer…"
"Yeah?"
"I need to tell you something else."
He joined her on the couch again, showing her, he was all ears.
"I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I'm sorry for…getting shot and…just putting you in that position that night."
"Jamie, are you serious right now?" he asked, incredulous.
"Uh, yeah, that's why I'm saying it." Jamie sat on her feet now, moving closer to Spencer. "When I went to my evaluation a couple of weeks ago, these words just came out of my mouth and I realized that I felt guilty for-"
"You have nothing to feel guilty for." he interrupted her, a bit of bite in his tone.
"Okay, you say that, but you weren't the one who was shot, because you decided to step into the line of fire like an idiot."
"No, but I wasn't just going to leave you there on the ground, Jamie." He positioned himself on the seat so he was facing her more, sighing.
Jamie could feel the emotions flooding her mind and tears were springing from her eyes. "I don't understand why you don't hate me!" she cried, the alcohol in her system clearly evident. "I'm a horrible person and if I were you, I wouldn't like me very much."
"You're not a horrible person," he tried to assure her. "Jamie…feelings, like the ones I had for you, don't just go away."
"Wh-what?"
Realizing his own words, Spencer shot himself from his seat. "I think we should get you to bed," He took Jamie by the hand, gently, telling her to stand up and go with him.
She complied, but she was still confused by his words. "What did you just say?"
"We should get you to bed."
"No, no, that's not what you said, Spencer!"
Without replying to her claim, Spencer led her up the stairs, taking a few minutes longer than it should have taken. Jamie slipped on one step, causing her to cry even more and by the time they made it to her bedroom, she was ready to crash.
She walked to her bed, landing face first on the mattress, burying her face in the pillows. Rolling around and trying to get comfortable, Jamie got herself under the covers. As awkward as it might be the next day, she didn't want her old friend to have to worry about driving home in the middle of the night. "You can stay here tonight if you want to…" she told him, sleepily and a little jumbled.
Without responding to what she said, he held back a small grin he had forming on his face. "Goodnight, Jamie." he said quietly. He didn't expect a response, as she had clearly fallen asleep. He turned off her light and left the room, closing her door. He walked down the stairs quietly, contemplating the words that had left his mouth only moments earlier. What did they mean and why did he say them? If he was being honest with himself, he couldn't answer it for a million dollars. In her living room, Spencer stood there and thought to himself, wondering if he should just take Jamie's car home, or stay like she had told him he could. There would be no doubt that it would be a weird situation come morning, but it was late and they actually had to be at work in about six hours. So, he decided to stay. Making himself comfortable on the couch with the pillows and the throw blanket, Spencer let the silence take over and he let his busy mind rest for a while.
"We need a medic! Right now!" Spencer yelled behind him. "She's losing too much blood!"
Jamie couldn't keep herself upright. Her head wanted to fall over and her body felt hot. The cold hands moved down to her chest, unstrapping the velcro of the vest. As it came off, it seemed to take away a million-and-one-pounds from her chest. Jamie sucked in a deep breath, possibly too deep and she started to cough. With that cough, came blood.
Hands were now pressed to the bloody wound on her chest. The pressure hurt like hell, but it had to happen.
"Jamie, hey, no, no, no. I need you to keep your eyes open."
She was trying.
"You're going to be fine…you're going to be fine."
Spencer's voice sounded like a buzzing in her ears. She opened her eyes lightly, enough to see her old friend in front of her, covered in her blood. Jamie mustered up a slight smile and attempted to speak, only sending her into another violent coughing fit. The metallic taste in her mouth was unpleasant, but it didn't seem to stop.
"Jamie! Hey, keep your eyes open, okay?" He had one hand pressing down on her chest, another holding her face steady under her chin. Never in a million year would either of them though they'd be in this situation.
Jamie gulped harshly, spitting up more blood as she did. It pushed past her lips, drawing red lines down her chin and out the corners of her mouth. The little effort that she was giving towards keeping her eyes open and holding her head up, seemed to evaporate all at once. Her green eyes rolled back and her head slumped to the side, out of Spencer's grasp.
"Jamie! Jamie! No, please, hey! Not like this…it can't happen like this."
Jamie jolted awake, her breathing heavy as the dream ran through her mind. She could feel the beads of cold sweat rolling down her skin and it felt disgusting. Her eyes drifted to the nightstand where her phone had been placed. Picking it up, she pressed the home button, lighting up the screen and seeing the time, four-o-five. She groaned, feeling like she needed to make a trip to her bathroom, but she didn't want to leave her bed. Jamie felt scared and for once, in a long time, she felt alone.
There was no telling how long that night would haunt her.
Thanks for reading and please remember to review! I would really appreciate it.
