Disclaimer: I do not own That 70s Show
Chapter five:
HYDE
The day wasn't the complete disaster I thought it would be. We went out for lunch, we took a walk at the park, and then we went back to the girls' place, where I've got the privilege to see Jackie playing with Betsy until Kelso had to take her back to Brooke's, and in the end, Donna and Jackie agreed to meet us at their place tomorrow night, after Jackie comes back from work and Donna comes back from class. Of course, we will have to bring Fez and Kelso as well, but it's fine by me. As long as Kelso doesn't open his big fat mouth again.
I will never forget Jackie's face when Kelso mentioned Sam, it was like the day I came back from Vegas all over again, I swear to God, that if the moron wasn't holding Betsy today I would've pounded him into a bloody pulp.
Now we are all at Kelso's place again, Fez will crash on the couch, Forman and I brought sleeping bags, Kelso ordered a few pizzas and we are all sitting in his tiny living room.
"Hey, Hyde, you brought your stash?" Forman asks and I grin slyly.
"I feel so much better already," Eric smiles and takes a slice of pizza. Kelso's living room is filled with smoke, and for the first time today, I can feel myself relaxing
"Oh, happy day!" Fez sighed dramatically and smiled "The gang is reunited, I saw my goddesses, and now I have pizza!" He tries to shove an entire slice of pizza into his mouth, and I stare at him in disgust, then I smile
"Man, I feel like we're finally getting our mojo back," I say
"You can't make up words, Hyde!" Kelso smiles dumbly "I missed this, man!" He proceeds to drink a can of beer and tries to smash it into his forehead, he frowns in pain "OW! Those things are too hard!"
I look at Kelso like he's the most stupid creature in the world, and I take the can out of his hand, smashing it with one hand, remembering the comment he made in the diner earlier "Oh, Kelso, that just reminded me of something" I frog Kelso repeatedly in the arm "That's for your little commentary in the diner, dillhole!"
"OW! WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!" He yelps
"Ah, this feels right," Forman says, grinning "Soon the circle will be 100% complete"
Fez frowns at his comment "It would've always been complete if you didn't leave for Africa in the first place, whore!"
"Oh my God, now I will have to apologize to you too?" Eric protests and I roll my eyes
"I would appreciate it, yes" Fez answers
"Man, I miss having Jackie and Donna at the circle, it was nice having some other good looking people here," Kelso says, looking thoughtful
"Are you calling us ugly?" Fez yells, sounding offended "Well if you are then I must say Good day to you, sir!"
"But Fez…"
"I SAID GOOD DAY!" Instead of getting up and leaving, he stayed in his seat and grabbed another slice of pizza.
I raise my eyebrow at the weird kid "Fez… isn't that the part when you usually storm out?"
"Yes but this feels so nice" He answers me with a small smile
"Whatever you say, little buddy," I say, knowing better than to question Fez's antics. Then I look at Forman "How can you be so confident that the girls are coming back to the circle? You were almost pissing your pants earlier"
"Let's say Jackie and I had a little talk," He says and I stare at him "She just gave me some advice on how to talk to Donna and now I know what I'm supposed to say"
I sigh "Just don't screw it up, Forman"
"Man, you two are lucky you aren't in body bags right now, because I thought they were going to kill you two!" Kelso laughs, pointing at me and Forman
"Indeed, you two are some very lucky bastards" Fez agrees with him and grabs a can of beer
"I KNOW!" Eric says enthusiastically, and I rub my face with my hands, remembering Jackie's words from earlier and the pain that they caused me. I totally deserved it, and I feel like she still has a lot to say to me. I sigh, I'm not a lucky bastard, I'm just a bastard who's trying to redeem himself to the girl he loves.
After a good old circle, Fez slept on the couch and Kelso headed to his room, claiming he needed his beauty sleep. Forman and I are the only ones awake, and I kind of have to know what exactly he and Jackie talked about today, because I still feel like shit from her comment earlier.
'You're Hyde. Steven died the minute he went to Vegas and married someone else'
I have never heard Jackie so angry… so bitter. I didn't like it one bit, because I did this to her, the girl who once had so much faith in me apparently wasn't there anymore, because I killed her. But what she said… it made sense. I wasn't myself after I came back from Vegas, in the very few interactions I had with her before she left, I made sure to rub Sam in her face whenever I could, I made snide comments about her and basically pretended that our relationship never existed. When she left, fuck, I'll never forget how I felt that day, the disappointment in Mrs. Forman's eyes, the amount of guilt and regret I've felt. When I finally found myself alone I actually fucking cried, I cried for all the shit I've pulled on Jackie, I thought I'd lost her forever. This, right now, is my last chance. I need to make her see how deeply sorry I am, how incredibly lost, fallen, I felt without her by my side all those months. I need to show her how much she means to me, how much I love her. I have to make this right, and I'm actually going to do everything I can in order to get her back, I'm not giving up on her, on us.
Because Steven is back and he's here to stay.
I went to the kitchen and Forman followed me, just when I was about to say something, Forman beat me into it.
"I talked to Jackie today"
"I know" I saw them at the park earlier, he had his arm in her shoulders and she looked like she was crying, probably because of me.
"She helped me a lot, about the whole Donna situation" he starts, then he laughs wryly to himself "In fact, if I had said to Donna all those things I was planning to, she would've killed me"
I frown, Forman's plan sounded legit to me when he told me, what changed? Apparently, he saw I was confused and answered my silent question.
"Turns out I have a lot more to apologize for" he takes a sip of his beer "Running away to Africa without actually talking to her first is only one of the many, many things in my list of mistakes"
I nod, that's kind of obvious, but it figures Forman would only focus on his latest mistake (Africa) and forget about the others. He's right, if he went to talk to Donna and only talked about Africa he would be dead right now, I'm glad that Jackie made him see that.
"So, I have a plan" Forman starts rambling again "Tomorrow night, I will beg her to talk to me, I'll probably trap her while she's in the kitchen getting something or when she takes the trash out"
I grimaced at his plan "Is this what Jackie told you to do?"
"No, she told me what I should do but she didn't tell me how I should do it" he stops and stares at me "Why, do you think it's a bad plan?"
"Trapping a girl into a corner and basically forcing her to hear you? Of course it is, moron! You can't force her to listen to you, she'll get even more pissed!" I look at him like he's an idiot, because he sounds a lot like an idiot right now. There's no way this would work, especially with Donna, he should know this better than anyone.
"Oh crap, that's true, God, Jackie should've written something down for me because I'll probably end up ruining everything!" he mumbles "She should've been more specific too! I told her I'm a dumbass!"
"What did she say?"
"Apologize, make it up to her, be the one making the sacrifices for a change" he deadpanned, and I took some mental notes, that's probably going to be useful for me too "I know what I should do, I just don't know how I should do it"
"Just don't trap her into talking to you, I kind of did that to Jackie earlier and it did not go well" I advise him, Jackie's words from earlier still resonating in my head.
"Oh, I forgot about that, did she slap you or something?" He asked
I laughed dryly "I wish"
A slap would've been better, it would've hurt less. Again, I'm not saying I don't deserve what she said to me, because I do, hell, I deserve even more than that, but hearing her say those words to me… I don't even know how to describe how shitty that made me feel.
I can see that Forman is curious, but I'm not telling him about what she said to me, sometimes we need to deal with our own shit by ourselves. So he just shrugs "Hyde, that's the part where you tell me how to apologize to her properly"
"When the moment comes you'll know it, chill"
"You know I can't chill! Oh man, you gotta give me more than that"
"Forman, just... don't trap her and don't discuss your problems with her in front of everyone. She knows you are waiting to talk to her, when she's ready, she'll come to you"
"I hope you're right pal, because if you're not, then I'm going to whine and you're going to hear it!" Oh crap, now he's getting all twitchy again
I look strangely at him "Finish your beer, Forman"
He drinks the rest of the beer in less than 30 seconds, then he finally approaches a topic I'm dying to hear from since he started talking "She's pretty hurt, you know that, right?"
I sigh, I know he's talking about Jackie, there's no way she was crying earlier because of Donna and Eric's situation.
"I know"
"She thinks you only want her back because the stripper is gone," he said, and I removed my shades and looked at him incredulously.
"Seriously?" I can't hide the hurt in my voice, does she actually think that?
"Man, it's going to take you a lot of work to get her again" he looks sadly at me "She said she's not even sure if you loved her in the first place, guess I was right earlier, in the car"
Fuck.
"Dude, are you even sure you want her back? Because if you don't, she doesn't deserve to be hurt again. I know I was the one that basically talked you into this, but if you're not 100% sure that that's what you want, then we can leave"
That girl always loved me so much, and I was such an asshole. I wish Kelso would invent his time machine already, because then I would go back to the day she gave me that ultimatum and I would've told her everything, I would've told her I can't live without her, I would've told her that I love her more than I could ever love another human being, I would've told her that I couldn't see a future without her and that scared the living shit out of me.
The fact that she actually believes I never loved her hurts my soul. I know I gave her reasons to believe that, but loving her… that used to terrify me, everyone I've ever loved left me at some point of my life, and if Jackie left me, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Except she didn't leave me. I left her, I chose someone else, someone I barely knew, over her. She left for Chicago first, but honestly? That was also my fault, she would've never had left if I was a little more open about my feelings, if I wasn't such an insecure jackass. She left, but she came back. After everything, she came back, and instead of doing the right thing, I stayed married to a whore out of spite. I had so many chances, and I ruined every single one of them, in the end, she left because I drove her away.
That's not happening anymore, I'm not giving up on her this time, this is it for me. My last chance. And I'm not screwing this up.
"We are not leaving and I'm not going to hurt her again, Forman, now let's get some sleep"
I left Forman in the kitchen and went to the living room. I better try and get some sleep, because tomorrow night we're meeting the girls again, and hopefully Jackie will talk to me. Hopefully.
DONNA
Well, today could've been better. Jackie and I are sitting on the couch right now, both of us are silent, she's probably also thinking about the events of the day. God, I'm starting to get a headache and Jackie took the last few aspirins this morning.
The day started with a knock on the door, we were expecting Kelso, Fez, and Betsy, so imagine my surprise when I opened the door and saw Eric's face, I almost had a heart attack. I had no idea he was coming back from Africa, and I thought he was staying there for a year, what the hell? Anyways, he was looking at me like a lost puppy and I just wanted to hold and kiss him, but I didn't do that, after a few seconds, I started to think straight again, all the anger resurfaced and I just wanted to pound his face to the ground. After a while, I noticed that Hyde was there too, and right then I knew today was going to be an exhausting day.
Then we went for lunch at the diner and Eric just kept staring at me, I couldn't stop thinking about how cute he is and I wanted to hit myself for allowing my thoughts to go there. So I burned him. Then Kelso made his inappropriate comment about Hyde's 'wife' and Jackie almost lost it. But in the end, we didn't kill anybody, and after a walk at the park, Jackie and I agreed to have the boys over. As long as it's all of them. I'm not ready to talk to Eric yet, but I have to admit that I missed hanging out with everyone, and unfortunately, I can't avoid Eric forever. I'll have to talk to him sometime, so I might as well get it over with, I guess, I just don't know if I can handle it tomorrow.
I look at the tiny person sitting next to me and she looks agonized, she's trying to watch TV but she looks like she's a million miles away.
"Jackie" I call her and she looks at me "Are you going to talk to Hyde?"
I've learned to read 'Jackie' for a while now, and even though she looks fine on the outside, I can tell that she's a mess on the inside. She has her tells, and as I look at the midget that keeps twirling her hair in her fingers, I notice how tense she is.
"I guess I'll have to, right?" she says in a defeated tone
"Jackie, I talked to him earlier, for what its worth, I think you should listen to him," I tell her, and she looks sadly at me
"Then what? I should forgive him? I'm not Mother Theresa, Donna"
I laugh a little "Oh, you're definitely not Mother Theresa, and I'm not saying you should forgive him, I'm just saying you should listen to him, I mean, I've known Hyde for years and this is probably the first time I've ever seen him this determined"
"I'll try, okay? I just don't wanna give him more material to burn me when he grows tired of me again" she cried, and I felt bad. I'm giving Hyde a vote of confidence here, but if he somehow hurts Jackie again, I'll cut off his balls and use them as Christmas decorations next year.
"I don't believe he wants to burn you, Jackie, I think he wants you to give him another chance"
"Haven't I given him enough?" Her eyes start to water "You know how many times he broke my heart! I'm still picking up the pieces from the whole Las Vegas fiasco"
"I'm not saying you should get back together with him that easily, but give him a chance to prove to you that he really changed like he claims he had"
"I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to trust him again, Donna" Tears were now running down her cheeks, and I hugged her. Jackie's strong, she's been through a lot of shit in her life, yet she still acted like nothing happened in front of people. And don't get me wrong, Hyde made Jackie suffer a lot, and honestly, I was pretty tempted to send Hyde straight to hell when I first saw him here, but he was also so good to Jackie like, 90% of the time. They were good to each other in a way I never thought they would be, as creepy and unnatural they may be, they fit. She was a better person when she was with him, he was a better person when he was with her. And honestly, I don't think either one of them would've ever found someone else that could put up with them, they belong together.
Now, I know that what Hyde did is probably the most stupid thing he'd ever done in his life, and I'm pretty sure he recognizes that. But in order to get Jackie to forgive him, he'll need to prove to her that she can trust him again, and that's going to take a while.
"Jackie, just answer me this question, are you happy?" I ask
"No" she admitted in basically a whisper
"Why not? You have your dream job, you're pretty, you're making a lot of money, you got out of Point Place…" I start, and she lowers her head, I'm pretty sure she knows where I'm going with this "You have everything you ever wanted"
"Not everything" she mutters in a sad tone
"Jackie, I'm not saying you should forgive him right away, in fact, I think you should take your damn time, if he really loves you like he claims he does he'll wait for you," I tell the little midget "You were really happy when you two were together, and you deserve to be happy, okay?"
"I'm just afraid of letting him in again, you know? I love him so much Donna, but I don't think I can be with him again if he's not changed"
"I really believe he changed Jackie, I meant what I said earlier, I've never seen Hyde this determined before. Just… try to listen to him, and then we will decide where we'll go from that, okay?"
She smiled weakly and nodded, I was about to change the subject, making a comment about how she shouldn't be watching Charlie's Angels because that show objectifies women, when she decided to ask me something "Are you planning to do the same with Eric?"
"Yeah, I'm not sure I'll be able to talk to him tomorrow, but I will talk to him sooner or later. I want to hear him out" I admit
"Do you plan on forgiving him?" She asks
I take a deep breath "I don't know, I mean, even if I want to and we're able to sort things out, I'm not leaving Chicago, and he's probably going to Madison, I'm not sure if it's going to work"
"I had a little chat with him today" Jackie looked at me with a small smile, "I think you two will figure something out"
"First I need to talk to him, we have a lot to talk about. God, I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared to have this talk"
"It will be fine" she reassured me "Now, why don't you stay put, I'll order some food, and if you behave I might give you a much needed pedicure"
I smile at the midget in front of me, I'm really glad I moved here with her, otherwise I would end up giving up, Jackie has a very weird (yet effective) way of cheering people up. She's a great friend. As long as she's here, everything is going to be fine.
A/N: The only thing I love more than writing those cute friendship moments between Jackie and Donna is writing cute moments between Jackie and Hyde (Don't worry, our favorite couple will interact properly really soon). I will never forgive the writers of the show for not giving Jackie and Donna the friendship they deserved, Donna always mistreated Jackie in the show and Jackie was actually pretty loyal to her, but she was also really bitchy with Donna when she wanted, criticizing her appearance and Eric. Being the only girls from the group, Jackie and Donna had a lot of potential to become the best friendship from the show, I will always resent the writers for not giving them justice, that's one of the reasons I decided to write this fic after all.
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