A/N: I'm sorry, but I can't resist it, I really love the fluff. Enjoy the reading!
Chapter nine:
HYDE
Jackie hugs Donna and comes in my direction, she looks apprehensive, so I took her hand in mine and laced our fingers together. She smiles and I nod briefly to Forman before we left, silently wishing him good luck.
Jackie hasn't said anything yet, but she also didn't let go of my hand, and I'm kind of lost. Jackie's always the one starting the conversations, I'm not too good at that. I lead her to the Camino, and open the passenger door for her, she smiles again, and I smile back, knowing how much she loves when I do those gentlemanly things.
"So, where are we going?" She asks curiously
"You'll see when we get there" I grin at her, and she pouts. Man, I can't resist when she pouts, I always want to kiss her pout away. But I'm not allowed to do that anymore, I'm no longer her boyfriend, and that thought made me cringe. I'm no longer her boyfriend because I'm the stupidest guy in the world.
Still, I'm not giving in. I'm pretty sure she's going to love where I'm taking her, because the moment I saw it I remembered how much she nagged me to take her to one of those back at home, I always denied, claiming that that's for chicks and kids. And probably Forman.
I take her to a park nearby, and even though it's January, there are still some Christmas decorations in here, I can see her face lighting up as she absorbs the view in front of her. Then she looked at the center of the park, and I swear to God that her smile could have brightened the whole Midwest. I missed that smile more than anything.
"Steven…" she starts, completely shocked but awed at the same time "are you taking me ice skating?"
I scratch the back of my neck in discomfort, but I also grin slightly at her, she looks too cute when she's excited "Yeah, you like it?"
"Oh my God, I love it!" She clapped her hands in excitement "C'mon, let's rent the skates!" She grabbed my hands and pulled me into the direction of the ice rink
I rent us the skates, and I should probably warn her that I've never gone ice skating before, but she looks so happy and cute. She took my hand again and dragged me to the icy ground, and I support myself by holding the railing next to me
"Jackie… I kind of never did this before, so I…"
She interrupts me, and she doesn't look disappointed like I thought she would, in fact, she seems even more excited if that makes any sense "Oh, I can totally teach you! This is going to be so fun!"
I grimace a little, I don't see how me falling on my ass for the next hour is fun. I was secretly hoping that I would be able to just watch her skating through the rink like the princess she is, she would've had her fun and I would've appreciated the view. But she wants me to skate with her, and honestly, at this point, I'll do whatever she asks me to do.
"So, it's pretty simple Steven, all you have to do is find your balance and…" she pauses and looks at me, I stare back at her. We both know that I have no balance, there's no need to explain why, it's pretty obvious "Okay… it's not that hard, Steven, see?" she slides through a small area close to us and spun gracefully. She truly is a freaking princess.
"Jackie" I sigh "Just teach me how to stand on these things without breaking my ass first"
"Well, I don't know how to explain that!" She puts her hands in her hips and I smile, I missed this "You just stand, you stand, then you slide, it's pretty simple"
I'm still holding onto the railing next to me, and I seriously cannot comprehend how Jackie is standing perfectly still while wearing these things.
"Steven, give me your hand" she doesn't even give me the time to say something, she just takes my left hand, my right one is still holding the railing. I must look completely pathetic right now.
"Now, you keep your right hand in that thing and I'll hold your left hand, okay?" I nod "But first take those stupid sunglasses off, I mean, c'mon, you'll need all the visibility you can get"
I smirk at her, she hates my shades, always hates them, she's just taking advantage of the opportunity. I place them on my coat pocket, then I feel her grabbing my hand again "Okay, now I'll guide you and slowly we will start gliding, don't worry, I'll not let go of your hand" she smiles reassuringly at me
"What if I fall? I don't want to drag you with me if I fall" I ask apprehensively. Crap I'm looking like a 6-year-old trying to learn how to ride a bike
"Oh please like you would be able to drag me down" she scoffed, I stared at her, silently challenging her to prove me wrong, and she sighed "Fine, if you fall you'll probably drag me down with you so you need to learn how not to fall"
I frowned "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"
"If you feel like you're going to fall, bend your knees and squat into a dip position, like this" she demonstrated "That will help you not to completely lose your balance"
"I thought we agreed earlier that I have no balance" I joke, and she chuckled
"You'll find it" she shrugs "Now, we are slowly going to move forward, I'll lead you, keep holding the railing with your other hand" she starts to move forwards, basically dragging me along with her. I swear that my feet are wobbling with this thing on, but I didn't trip yet
Her grip is steady in my hand, and she keeps leading me into the ice, we are going pretty slow, but my feet are not wobbling anymore, I'm kind of getting used to this.
I'm still pretty sure I'll end up falling at one point.
"See, it's not that bad!" She says, still holding my hand and leading us further into the rink
"I guess it could be worse" I answered her "At least there isn't any disco music"
Her eyes widened in amusement and I internally regret my previous words "Oh my God we should totally go to the roller disco someday!"
"One step at a time, doll" I laugh, she knows I hate disco so she dropped the subject
What she doesn't know is that I'll do literally anything to have her back, if that includes spending hours listening to ABBA and The Bee Gees, I'm surprisingly okay with it. I'm just not going to tell her that, I may be desperate but I'm not stupid (anymore).
"Steven we did a whole lap!" She squealed with joy "Now, do you think you can let go of the railing without falling?" She asks, I look apprehensively at her, she tightens her grip in my hand and I nod.
I slowly remove my hand from the railing and I feel my feet wobbling again, but she takes my other hand to prevent me from falling. We're facing each other now, and for the first time today, I allow myself to get lost in her eyes.
God, I really love her eyes.
She used to hate them, she called herself a freak, but her eyes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. One eye is green, the other one is blue, it's her little imperfection that makes her even more perfect. I remember the day I first noticed them, we were making out on the basement couch after Red's fourth of July barbecue, Kelso and Donna were in California, Eric was depressed in his room, and Fez was not allowed in the barbecue because according to Red, foreigners are not allowed to celebrate the American freedom. On that day, I leaned my forehead against hers and I noticed her eyes for the first time. She told me she was born like that, she also told me that I was the first person besides her parents to notice her eyes. I still cannot believe that Kelso dated Jackie for years and never noticed her eyes.
I never admitted this out loud to anyone, but I always had a thing for Jackie. It started after prom, and I didn't really understand my feelings about her until that notorious summer day, when I looked deeply into her eyes for the first time. At that moment, I realized that I was in love with her. That fucking terrified me.
And now, I'm still desperately in love with her, hell, I don't think I'll ever be able to love someone like I love this woman. She's staring at my eyes as well, and our mouths are inches apart, all I have to do is get a little closer, then I would be able to feel her lips against mine, I would be able to taste her cherry chapstick again…
My thoughts are abruptly interrupted when Jackie and I fall onto the floor, creating a loud thump.
"Sorry!" the kid that bumped into us said as he skated away from us
I look at the petite figure at my side and her body is shaking, shit shit shit.
"Doll, are you alright?" I ask desperately, she turns to look at me and she's laughing her ass off, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders, and I laugh along with her. Her laugh is contagious
She stands up easily, then she gives me her hand to help me stand up, I lean into the railing while she wipes tears of laughter from her eyes
"Wanna get out of here?" I ask grinning at her
"Yes, I'm starving" she smiles "But I'm still teaching you how to ice skate one day, Steven Hyde"
"Looking forward to it, doll," I say as we remove our skates and put on our regular shoes
While we're leaving, I took her hand in mine and laced our fingers together, like earlier, she didn't protest, in fact, I could swear I saw her trying to hide a grin
"So, where are we going?" She asks
"Let's get you something shiny, doll"
JACKIE
Steven took me to the McDonalds near the park. There are no Fatso Burger's or The Hub's in Chicago, and Steven was livid when he realized that the McDonald's burgers are not wrapped in tin foil. While we were eating, I had to hear him rambling about the government and how they are supporting those huge fast-food chains because secretly they want to make the population fat. According to Steven, the government wants to make us fat because fat people mean more hospital visits, which means more money.
I missed his crazy conspiracies. Contrary to what others might think, I actually listen to him when he's rambling like this.
One day he kept me up all night because he was trying to explain the plot of 1984 to me, and he got so into it that he ended up telling me the whole story. I pretended I was annoyed but I was really enjoying it, and he knew it.
And he actually listened to me too. He was at Donna's room with me and Donna, waiting for me to get ready to one of Mrs. Forman's dinner parties, and when I asked him to bring me my curling iron, he knew what a curling iron was and he just handed it to me, Donna asked him what a curling iron does and he said that it makes my hair not flat like hers. Donna teased him endlessly for that one. He had to shoplift twice after that to feel better. He stole me a lip gloss.
After we finished eating, we decided to take a walk at the park, and now he's holding my hand while we observe the ice rink from a distance. I know we need to talk more, but it's been such a pleasant night, I don't want to make him mad or scare him, if he runs away again I don't think I'll be able to take it.
"What's on your head?" He asked me curiously, he's still not wearing his sunglasses
I sigh "I just… For this to work out I need to ask you a few things and I…"
"You can ask me anything you want Jackie," he says calmly, but I'm still terrified. What if my questions make him so uncomfortable that he decides we're not worth it anymore? I don't want him to leave me again, he's been back in my life for less than a week and I can't bear the thought of him leaving already
"I'm afraid that you'll run away if I do" I confessed
He sighed, and he let go of my hand, my chest tightened, he's giving up, he's running away again… then he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer, he looks deeply into my eyes.
"I'm never running away from you again, Jackie, I promise"
"Can we… make a deal or something?" I ask and he looks curiously at me "100% honesty, no matter how much the truth hurts, in order for this to work out we need to be completely honest with each other, about everything"
"And no running away either" he completed for me, and I nod "Sounds like a plan to me, doll"
"Okay, so when I ask you something, just tell me the truth, don't sugar coat it, and please don't lie. Seriously Steven, don't ever lie to me."
He takes my hand again, intertwining our fingers and we resumed our walk, I take this as permission to ask what I've been meaning to ask him for a while
"Why did you stay with Sam?" I ask
There's a pause, not a long one, but soon he breaks it "Because when she walked through that door and I saw that look in your face…" he sighed "It fucking killed me, I knew you wouldn't take me back after this, so I just thought 'screw it' you know? I had already lost you, in my head, I had nothing to lose at that point. I also didn't want to be like Bud" he laughed dryly "Little did I know, I was acting like Bud when I neglected the woman I love and stayed with someone else instead"
I take a deep breath, he's being honest, I can feel it, it still hurts though "Why did you say the things you did? Why did you kiss her in front of me?" I ask, my voice breaking for a second, he looks at me and I can see the pain in his eyes, but he answers me honestly again
"Because I thought it would be easier if you hated me" he confessed, I furrowed my brow in confusion and he continued "After that incident in the motel with Kelso… I really wanted to hate you, Jackie, but I couldn't. I know now that nothing happened between you and Kelso, and deep down I always knew, but seeing Kelso in that towel… I can't even describe how I've felt, every time I remembered, I felt like I was dying, I…" he shifts his gaze to the floor, ashamed "I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, and I wanted to make you hate me, I thought it would make things easier"
I can feel the wetness of the tears on my cheeks "The pain you felt when you saw Kelso and I" I start, I know it will sound cruel, but I need him to know, I need him to understand how hurt I was "Multiply it by a hundred, that's what I felt when Sam showed up at the Formans. Then multiply it by a thousand, that's what I felt when you purposely kissed her in front of me, and I cannot put into words what I've felt when I heard all the things you were saying about me behind my back"
He stops walking, but he's still holding my hand, in fact, his grip tightens a little, he's silently asking me not to let go. He looks pained, he closes his eyes and exhales slowly.
"Jackie, I'm so, so sorry" he's apologizing a lot these days, but every time I remember what happened, the pain is still there "You have no idea how much I regret those last 6 months, every time I remember what happened, I wanna kick my own ass, beat the shit outta myself for all the crap I've put you through"
I can see the pain in his eyes, the regret. I know he means everything he's saying. At this moment I make a promise to myself, I will try my best to forgive him and trust him again. I love this man more than anything in the world, I just don't want to be hurt again.
"You remember what you said to me last week? 'Steven died the minute he went to Vegas and married someone else', this sentence was stuck in my head all week" he says, running his free hand across his face, he's nervous "You were right, you know? I wasn't myself back then, I was just Hyde. And I don't want to be Hyde anymore Jackie, I want to be your Steven again. Hyde was the shittier version of myself, I was slowly becoming everything Edna always said I would be" he grimaced "I was disgusted with myself, with my life, everything went to shit the minute I lost you"
"You make me wanna be the best version of myself, Jackie. In the past that scared the shit out of me, I was afraid of letting you down, I was afraid of losing you. You always made me feel things, I loved you too much, the thought of you leaving was enough to break me"
I was about to say something, but he's not finished yet, so I keep my mouth shut for now "When Sam arrived, I already thought I've lost you forever, and I should have fought for you, but I didn't. Because Sam didn't make me feel shit, if she cheated on me, I wouldn't have cared less, I never cared about her" he sighed "I'm sorry, Jacks, I really am"
After a few seconds of silence, I looked at his eyes again "I believe you"
He pulls me closer and embraces me, this is the second time in 7 days that I'm in his arms, and it still feels like the first time. My head leaning on his chest, his arms around my waist, the way he nuzzles the top of my head and presses a kiss afterward… I could easily spend the rest of my life in his arms.
Hearing the truth was not easy, but it did make things a lot clearer, I can understand him better now. It doesn't justify what he's done, but I can see what went through his head at the time.
"I really messed you up by giving you that ultimatum, didn't I?" I ask quietly, I'm not even sure if he heard me
"Yeah" he confirms, and I feel this huge pressure in my chest "But I can understand why you did it in the first place, I wasn't the best boyfriend"
"You were amazing when you wanted to, Steven" I sigh "I just wanted you to tell me you loved me every once in a while"
"I should've told you every day"
I need to ask him something else, I'm not entirely sure if he'll be able to answer that one "Steven" I pull away from his hug so I can look him in the eyes again "Were you embarrassed of me?"
"What?" He frowned "Of course not, why would you think that?"
"It's just that sometimes you were really rude to me in front of our friends, you made me feel really bad sometimes, towards the end of our relationship, I was starting to think you never really cared about me" I look at the sky, it's starting to snow "Like, when you missed my graduation party and I found you guys toasting to Eric in the basement, I felt awful, and it wasn't the first time that something like this happened" He knows I'm referring to the LOPPs Christmas party, I can see the guilty look in his face
"I thought you were getting sick of me," I say sadly "I was afraid that one day you were going to wake up and dump me out of nowhere, I had no idea how you really felt about me, Steven. I know I shouldn't have given you that stupid ultimatum, I should've tried to talk to you properly, but at that point I was desperate"
"I was abandoned too, Steven, I know how it feels to be left alone in the world. You were afraid that I was going to leave you, so you pushed me away. And I was afraid of you leaving me, so I pressured you" I finished my thoughts and I looked apprehensively at him. I know I was a little harsh, but it's the truth, it's how I feel, and we agreed that we're not lying to each other anymore. 100% honesty.
He runs his hand across his face again "I was a dick" he deadpans "You can always talk to me Jackie, about everything, okay?"
"Okay" he kisses my temple and we resume our walk, still holding hands. We stay quiet for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts. We are making progress, and that's good, but we definitely have a lot more to talk about
"Steven… you mentioned to me last week that you're no longer married, what happened?" I asked hesitantly, just the thought about him with that woman makes me want to throw up, but I need to know, I look at him, he's tense
"She left me" I felt a lump in my throat, and I let go of his hand. She left him, he didn't even ask her to leave, it was her decision, not his. I cross my arms and avoid his pained gaze, we're still walking, but I'm staring at the little flocks of snow that are falling from the sky right now.
He sighs loudly "It's not what you think Jackie, I already told you I never loved her, please, just look at me, let me explain" he puts his hand on my shoulder, I look at him, not even bothering to hide the hurt expression in my face, he looks just as hurt as I do, and I can see the desperation in his eyes "No running away Jacks, no matter how much the truth hurts, right?" He reminds me of our pact and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I reluctantly nod.
"She was already married when she married me, her husband showed up at the Formans one day and she took off with him" he explained, and chuckled dryly "I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me over a marriage that wasn't even legal in the first place"
"When the guy showed up and claimed to be her husband, I was so fucking relieved. When she was gone I finally started to feel like myself again, then I went to the basement, and I was alone. You weren't there, because I drove you away. And I drove you away because of Sam. Then I started to get really, really pissed"
Stupid whore. I should've kicked her ass the minute she arrived at Point Place, I should've kicked Steven's ass too, how could he be so stupid? I was tossed away like garbage because of nothing? Stupid fucking whore.
"I missed you, Jackie. Every day since you left I've missed you like crazy, I thought about you every single day. After Sam left I thought I was going to explode with rage because not only the bitch scammed me, because she cost me you" he grabs my hand again, I let him.
He's sorry. I really believe him, and I start to wonder, maybe I can forgive him after all. Now that I know what was going on inside his head, I can understand him better, making it a lot easier to forgive him, the real problem is the trust. I need to learn how to trust him again, and I need to be reassured that he really trusts me like he claims he does. That's why I suggested the pact, one of the biggest issues in our relationship was the lack of communication between us, he never talked about his feelings, and I was afraid of discussing our future together after everything, it came to a point where I thought he was going to leave me if I even mentioned the word "future".
That cannot happen again. If we want to make this work this time, I can't be afraid of talking to him, and he can't be afraid of expressing himself. We are doing good so far.
The pain is still here, and it's going to take a while for it to disappear, but I know that if we keep things going the way they are now, the pain will be gone someday.
The fact that Steven is actually talking about his feelings still surprises me. I know how hard this is for him, and hearing the words "I love you" leaving his mouth so easily… it made me feel so good, so loved. I'm afraid it will all disappear once we get back together, what if I take him back and he comes back to his old self?
I shiver from the cold, I grew up in Wisconsin, but we've been walking in the snow for a while, and I'm freezing. He notices it, because he holds me closer to him, placing his arm around my shoulder.
"Let's take you back to your place, I don't want my pretty little doll turning into a popsicle" he smirks and guides me to his car, parked on the other side of the street
We had a pretty quiet ride, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, it was actually pretty nice. He kept his arms around my shoulders all the time, and at some point, I leaned my head on his shoulder. He smiled the rest of the ride.
He opened the passenger door for me again, I grinned slightly at his gesture. He knows how much I love when he acts like a gentleman, it gets me so hot, if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, I would've lunged into him without thinking twice. But we aren't, at least not for now, so I control myself. We are almost at my door when I hear his voice.
"Jackie?" He sounds hesitant
"Yeah?"
"Are…" now he's scratching the back of his neck, he's nervous again "Are you still in love with me?" He asks apprehensively and looked expectantly at me
I stare at him, his uncovered eyes revealing all of his insecurities, he's exposing himself to me. And I promised him we wouldn't lie to each other anymore.
"Would I be here now if I wasn't?" I smiled tenderly at him, I can see his expression softening, he smiles back and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his waist, he wraps his arms around mine and rests his chin on top of my head. I can stay like this forever.
"Thank you for giving me another chance," he says
He slowly lifts my chin with his index finger, and we stare at each other's eyes. He leans in closer and I can feel his breath fanning across my face.
I swallow deeply and involuntarily bite my lip. I really, really want to kiss him, my heart is pounding inside of my chest and I can barely hear my own thoughts. Suddenly I was able to listen to all the warning signs inside my head, and I reluctantly stopped his approaching kiss.
Not that I don't want to kiss him, I want to kiss him more than anything, but we can't do this now, we still have a long road ahead of us.
"Sorry, I just…" I apologize "I don't think we should go there yet"
He sighs and kisses my forehead, we're still wrapped in each other's arms "It's okay doll, I told you I'll wait for you"
We stay in our little world, just hugging and enjoying each other's presence for a while, until we hear a muffled noise of glass breaking from inside of my apartment. Donna is in there with Eric, things must be bad, crap
"We should get inside now," He says and I nod in agreement, I grab my keys from inside my purse
"If they broke my new glass unicorn I will kill them" I mumble while I fidget with my keys and I hear Steven chuckling at my statement, I finally managed to open the door, and right at this moment I wish I had the power of erasing things off my mind, because what I am seeing, is something I would really like to forget.
"OH MY GOD!" I gasp at the terrifying vision in front of me.
A scrawny (and incredibly white) ass, on top of my naked best friend, they are laying on the couch, and I see my broken unicorn on the floor, I don't even want to think about how they managed to break it. Before I can see anything else, Steven pulls me closer and covers my eyes with his hand
"Forman!"
A/N: I live in a tropical country, so I never went ice skating before, I'm sorry if I wasn't able to describe it well, I literally used a wikihow tutorial on how to ice skate to try to make this chapter more believable.
I wanted to make them go to a carnival or something, but I also wanted to make this story more realistic. It's literally the first week of January in this chapter, and according to google, it's pretty cold and snowy at this time of the year in the Midwest, but they needed to leave the apartment because of Eric and Donna and I thought that just dinner in a restaurant would be kind of boring, and I wouldn't be able to include all the fluff that I love so much.
Some people might say that Hyde and Jackie are a bit OOC in this story, but I explained it in the notes of chapter 6, after they had their first conversation. They just want to make things right again, fighting doesn't accomplish anything.
By the way, when I was rewatching the show, I couldn't help but notice Hyde's behavior towards Jackie, I'm pretty sure he had a big crush on her after that veterans day kiss, it's pretty noticeable, I can't possibly be the only one who thinks that!
Anyways, there's many aspects in Jackie and Hyde's relationship that I would like to explore in this story, I won't focus much on the angst.
Jackie and Hyde are my favorite characters from the show, but Eric is fucking amazing, I love him so much. He is a dork and out of all the characters I relate to him the most. He's also the funniest character in my opinion, he's surrounded by chaos and because of that he tends to screw up a lot (I mean, remember Donna's wedding dress? Funniest shit I've ever seen). I plan on bringing a bit of his chaotic energy into this story, because that's just who Eric is, pure chaos. I laughed my ass off writing the next chapter, mostly because I can totally see that happening. I'm really excited to share with you guys, so I'll probably post it this week.
I know I rambled a lot, sorry about that, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! I really enjoy reading reviews, they really inspire me and motivate me to keep writing, so…
