A/N: The entire last chapter was narrated by Hyde, this chapter will be narrated by Jackie. This is basically part two of the last chapter, I had to split it in two parts because I got a little carried away.
Again, I apologize for the lack of E/D, and I should probably warn people that even though I love Eric and Donna, the story is focused on Jackie and Hyde, especially now that shit is getting real. I'm just really not very good at writing them.
Chapter thirteen:
JACKIE
Steven just parked his car at the Forman's driveway, and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with all the attention while my mind is still processing the new information regarding my father.
I usually love the attention, and I really missed everyone, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to fully concentrate on something if I can't stop thinking about my dad. Steven opens up the door to me (I really love when he does that) and takes my hand in his, helping me out of his car. He probably noticed that I'm kind of lost in my own thoughts in here, so he kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear "You'll be fine"
Steven is being so unbelievably sweet since he decided he wants me back. It's very uncharacteristic of him, but I'm loving every second of it. I'm afraid that once I finally manage to trust him again he will close up on me, I don't think I will be able to deal with that again.
He helped me so much today. The fact that he actually went to visit my father with me showed me that maybe he's changed. The fact is that he's trying, he's fighting for us just like he said he would.
Steven holds my hand and opens the sliding door. Mrs. Forman is in the kitchen and when she saw our fingers intertwined together she gave us a big smile, but she didn't say anything. That's good, Steven tends to get uncomfortable when people notice that he's actually being sweet. We made our way to the basement and saw Eric and Donna making out on the couch, unaware of Fez's stare.
"You realize that Fez is watching you, right?" Steven points out to the couple, who promptly pulled away from each other
"FEZ!" Donna yelled
"Hey, I should be the one getting mad, how could you forget Fez's presence in the room?" Fez retorts "Am I that invisible?"
"Uh…" Eric stares at his eccentric friend, confused at the turn of events "Sorry?"
"Apology accepted," Fez says, before turning to Steven and I "So, how was prison?"
The room goes silent after Fez's question. I get it, my father is in prison, people get uncomfortable, it's a sensitive subject. I won't tell them about the problem regarding my father, not now. Maybe I'll tell Donna tonight.
"It was fine, Fez" I answered him, sitting on the couch. Then, Steven does another uncharacteristic thing, he completely ignores his chair and sits by my side, pulling me closer to him. He's killing me with those tiny gestures, seriously, I really deserve a medal.
They understand I don't want to talk about it and they dropped the subject.
"So, girls, have I told you about my new lady love?" Fez asks, Eric and Steven groaned
"Fez you talked about her the whole week, man" Steven protested
"I can't take it anymore, I will slice my other foot in protest" Eric says
"Wait, I thought you went on a date with Big Rhonda last week" I say
"She happens to be my new lady love" Fez grinned "She went to a camp and now she's hot like you and Donna"
"She went to fat camp?" I ask
"Jackie!" Donna calls me "It's a weight loss facility, not a fat camp!"
"Whatever" I mumble and Steven chuckles next to me
"We went to the movies and then we did it! Four times!" Fez said excitedly and we all grimaced
"Fez, how many times have I told you, we don't need details pal!" Eric says and Fez pouts
"But the details are the best part! See, I picked up some tricks from watching Hyde and Jackie a few times in the past, and…"
He what?
"YOU WHAT?" I yell, and Steven's fuming next to me
Fez apparently didn't notice our anger because he kept going on, Eric is trying to repress a laugh and Donna looks disgusted by Fez's behavior.
"You both have some serious stamina, you two would do it for hours" Fez turns to Eric and says nonchalantly "Eric, you must ask Hyde for some lessons" Fez turns to Eric and says nonchalantly
"FEZ!" Eric yells
"You creeped on me and Jackie?!" Steven asks incredulous "That's it man, you're dead"
Fez notices Steven's anger and runs out the basement door, Steven chases him and soon after that we hear a loud scream.
"AI!"
"I can't believe this!" I yell "He creeped on us! This is seriously wrong, I hope Steven really kicks his ass!"
"He used to hide on my closet" Donna observes "But I thought he grew out of that"
"Well, he's lucky I'm crippled because I would kill him!" Eric says and I stare at Donna
"Sure you would honey" Donna pats his head
We hear footsteps coming from the stairs, at first I thought that was Steven but there's no way he's done with Fez yet.
"Jackie, honey" Mrs. Forman called me "Let's go upstairs, and I'll teach you how to make a casserole"
I look at Donna, and she shrugs "Let's go Eric, I could probably use some cooking lessons as well"
I follow Mrs. Forman upstairs and I hear Eric's muffled voice from the basement
"Donna, I can walk, if you carry me in front of my dad he will disown me and sign me up to the navy!"
I chuckle, Eric's not wrong.
"Can someone tell me why is Haji hiding in my garage without any pants on?" Mr. Forman asks, entering the kitchen
"He's probably hiding from Steven" I answer nonchalantly while I help Mrs. Forman with the dishes
Red scowls "Why the hell is he hiding from Steven?"
Steven enters through the sliding door, holding Fez's pants "Trust me Red, you don't wanna know"
"Get these pants out of my kitchen" Mr. Forman says, grabbing a beer and heading to the living room
Mrs. Forman dries her hands in her apron "Was it really necessary to leave the boy without pants, Steven?"
Eric laughs from the kitchen table "Yes it was, mom"
Steven throws the pants at Eric's face, and Eric shrieks loudly. Then Steven sits on the bench near the kitchen counter, observing me, Donna and Mrs. Forman.
I'm currently doing the dishes while Mrs. Forman dries them, and Donna's frantically searching for the wine Mrs. Forman asked 10 minutes ago.
"Mrs. Forman, I can't find your wine" Donna says, looking apologetically at her
"Red must've hidden it again" Mrs. Forman says angrily and I'm confused, we all know Mrs. Forman likes her booze, but Red never complained much about it
"Mom and Dad made a deal last week" Eric explained, still holding Fez's pants "He would start a heart safe diet if she cut back on the drinking"
"Now, Red and I agreed that I'm allowed to have a few drinks on special occasions" Mrs. Forman says angrily "And the two mothers of my future grandchildren are here, what's more special than that?" She finishes and goes to the living room to yell at Red
Mrs. Forman last comment must've freaked Steven out, I steal a glance at him and he's… smiling? 6 months ago Steven would've gone pale just by the mention of a wedding, let along children. This is weird. Good weird.
I finish washing the dishes and sit on the bench next to Steven.
"Hey, Donna, did you set the timer?" I ask
"Yeah, don't worry" she says while she sits next to Eric
Steven puts his arm around my waist and smiles proudly "Jackie Burkhart doing the dishes, now that's something I never thought I would see"
I roll my eyes and lightly slap his chest "Who do you think does the dishes back at our place?"
"Jackie brought the fancy china from her old place, she won't let me touch them" Donna says while playing with Eric's hair
"So, what's in the oven?" Steven asks, changing the subject
"Casserole" I answer "Mrs. Forman was teaching us how to cook without giving anyone food poisoning"
"You never gave me food poisoning" He says with a smile "Donna, on the other hand…"
"Hey, I never gave you food poisoning" She says, pointing her finger at Steven "I gave Eric"
"It was a magnificent day" Eric says wryly
"Hello?" We see a pantless Fez standing on the other side of the sliding door "May I please have my pants back?"
Steven glares at him and Fez shrinks, Eric opens up the door and gives Fez's pants back.
"Thank you, my little man is freezing" He says and we all grimaced "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date" And then he left
"Why is he so weird?" I ask
"He's foreigner" Donna shrugs, Eric and Steven stared at her
"Okay baby, I think you're spending too much time with Jackie" Eric says, putting his hand on her shoulder
"What, why?" Donna asks, confused
"You just said that Fez's weird because he's foreign" Steven points out
"Oh my God I did!" She puts her hands in her mouth and looks at me "What have you done to me?"
"They say that if you spend too much time with someone, you start to pick up some of their habits" Eric says and we all stared at him "What? I'm crippled, I'm watching a lot of Donahue"
"Does that mean that you're going to start to go on feminist rallies with me?" Donna asks excitedly
I frowned "Ew, no! I don't want to be pawned by some hairy girl named Shirley"
Donna just rolls her eyes "Not all feminists are hairy, Jackie"
"Well…" Eric starts, and Donna shuts him up with a death glare
"Whatever" I say "If this was true, then Steven would be making Star Wars references and Eric wouldn't be so bummy"
Steven snickered at my last line "I don't spend that much time with Forman, doll"
"You two have been joined by the hip since you're 6, Steven"
"Are you telling me that if I spend more time with Hyde, I'll be less bummy and he'll start making Star Wars references?" Eric asks with a smile on his face "Hyde, you just got yourself a new stalker"
Steven scowls at Eric "If you come any closer you're dead, Forman"
Eric cringed and I leaned my head on Steven's chest, I'm tired. Visiting my father was emotionally exhausting, and now I could really use a nap. Steven runs his hands through my hair and I almost fell asleep right here, sitting on a bench with Steven's hands in my hair. Then the timer went off and Mrs. Forman showed up in the kitchen again, with a big smile and a bottle of wine in her hands.
The next day
Donna's pretty worried about me. We spent the rest of the day yesterday in the basement hanging out with Eric and Steven, I told her everything about my father last night, before we went to sleep. Well, in my case, I tried to sleep. My thoughts kept me up almost all night.
I know Donna, and I know that she's trying to be optimistic for me, but I'm pretty sure she has a bad feeling about this situation. I do too, still, I'm just choosing to ignore it for the sake of my sanity.
We're going back to Chicago sometime after lunch, we just had breakfast with Bob, who's thrilled to have us here. I think he's getting kind of lonely, maybe it's time for him to get a new girlfriend. As long as it's not my mom. Bob deserves better.
By this time tomorrow my dad will be out of protective custody, and I can't stop thinking about it. I don't think my father realises how dangerous this is, otherwise he wouldn't have made this decision. It's in moments like this that I wish I had more faith, at least I would find comfort in it and wouldn't be as worried as I am now. Maybe I'll ask Mrs. Forman to pray for my dad later.
I'm feeling pretty down, yesterday I think I was able to mask it well, but today I'm more bummed out than usual, and I'm kind of tired of hiding my feelings.
Here's a fact about me: I have a pretty crappy mother. Honestly, I was lucky to have my dad in my early years, because I'm not sure of what I would be if I was raised only by my mother. My mother is a terrible person, she used to put me down constantly when she was around, making comments about my weight, my hair, and my lopsided eyes. Once she said I should borrow Steven's sunglasses to hide my eyes, because even though people hardly ever notice them, they're still 'weird looking'.
Steven always loved my eyes.
When daddy was arrested, my mother was in Mexico, she didn't bother to come back. I was alone in that big house for months, until Steven figured out I was lying about my mother being back and pressured me to stay in the basement with him. This was our first big fight, even bigger than the 'get off my boyfriend' one. I finally gave in when he told me he would never forgive himself if something happened to me while I was staying by myself in that house. I never cared much about hurting myself, but the thought of hurting Steven was something I just couldn't bear.
Steven was the only one who saw behind my 'princess of Point Place' persona. He said it to me once, that children of abandonment tend to bond with each other, and he was right. I always felt like I could tell him anything, even when I was with Michael.
I'm a great actress, everybody thought I had the perfect home life because I acted like it. Michael never noticed that my parents weren't around when we were together, the only few times he did were because he missed staring at my mother. Steven fell for my act when he first met me, but with time he recognized the signs and I opened up to him.
Not about everything though. Steven doesn't know about my mother's snide comments to me, how she shattered my self-esteem whenever she was around, how she pressured me to stop eating before big events, how she begged me to break up with him when she found out his father's black. I never told him about any of that, I never liked to be seen as an insecure person, especially by him. Donna knows, I told her after one of our movie nights in Chicago, I needed to vent and she was a great friend that night. But I feel like Steven should know, not now, I'm already too sensitive because of my father, but I should tell him sometime soon.
Because I'm tired of pretending I'm happy when I'm not. Donna taught me that night that it's okay not to be okay sometimes, that's a part of being human, so I'm not putting on a mask today. I am freaking sad about my father and that's it, I'm not putting a brave face anymore.
We're heading to the Formans now, I want to spend whatever time I have left in Point Place with Steven. He helped me so much yesterday, I don't know what I would've done without him.
We enter through the sliding door and Eric, Red and Steven are at the table finishing their breakfast.
"Good morning!" Mrs. Forman greets us cheerfully, giving us a hug "Should I set up a place for you two at the table?"
"No, thanks Mrs. Forman" Donna says "My dad made us a big breakfast"
Mrs. Forman kissed each of our cheeks and went to the sink to do some dishes, Donna gave Eric a small peck on the lips, making Mr. Forman grunt, and Steven excused himself from the table, giving me a kiss on the cheek before grabbing my hand and dragging me to the basement with him.
"Steven, what's going on?" I ask curiously as we sat on the couch
"Forman begged me to give him some alone time with Donna this morning" He explained "Apparently they're sneaking back to his room later"
"Ew" I say, remembering the not too pleasant scene from last week. At least today they're going to be able to finish it, God knows how upset Donna was about that.
"And maybe… maybe I wanted some alone time with you as well… it's not what you think, I was thinking that maybe we can talk?" He looked at me apprehensively "You seem kind of down today doll, is it about your father?"
"Yeah, I just have a bad feeling" I answer him, and he pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arm around my waist
"It will be fine, doll" He says, but I can hear the uncertainty in his tone
"No lies, Steven" I remembered him and he sighed
"Look, I don't have a good feeling about this either, but whatever happens, I won't leave your side"
"Okay" I lean my head on his shoulder
We stayed like this for a while, his hand started to go up and down my back, comforting me. I really missed this.
Steven was always the one I would run to whenever I was down. After my dad went to prison and he shaved his beard off for me, he asked me how should he comfort me next time, because he won't have a beard to shave all the time. He said he wanted to be a good boyfriend, so I told him that whenever I was sad and he couldn't think of anything to say, he should just hold me.
And that's what he's doing right now.
I start to wonder if maybe we can talk more about our relationship, it's probably not going to cheer me up, but it would distract me and it's kind of necessary. We still have a lot to talk about.
"Steven?"
"Yeah doll?"
"Did you really mean it, when you said you trust me?" I ask hesitantly
He took a deep breath before answering me "Yeah I did"
"Why did you decide to trust me just now? I mean, you never did before and how does a person suddenly change like this?"
"Losing the person I love gave me some perspective. I guess back then I was being just paranoid, Kelso kept saying about how you two used to do it all the time and how he wanted you back, it drove me insane"
Sometimes I really hate that I've spent so much time with Michael when I could've been with Steven. I don't regret my relationship with Michael, mostly because I met my friends and Steven because of him. I do regret getting back together with him so many times. The fact that I kept getting back with Michael even after everything he's done probably didn't help Steven with his insecurities.
"I trust you now because you know how it feels to be cheated, you said it once that you didn't wish that feeling to anyone. So I know you would never cheat on me, I just wish I figured that out sooner" His tone was sad, but honest. He's being faithful to our pact
"Thank you" I say "For being honest with me and for opening up, I know this must be hard for you"
"Surprisingly, it's not" He answered me with a small smile "I can easily tell you how much I love you and I'm owning up to my mistakes. The hard part is seeing how much I've hurted you, and how everything could've gone differently if I wasn't such a coward"
"You're not a coward" I look into his eyes "You're telling me now, you're trying" I place my hand on his cheek, scratching his sideburns. He closes his eyes and leans further into my hand, he always loved when I did that
He waits a few minutes before he says something else "Doll, can I ask you something?" He looks at me, a little uneasy
"Anything you want, Steven" I answer him
"Were you really considering taking Kelso back? After… after the nurse?" He directs his gaze to the floor, avoiding looking at me in the eyes
"No" I answer him honestly "I never did, it was always you"
He looks at me, intrigued "Then why… Why did you say he was an option?"
I sigh "You have no idea how much it hurted me when you slept with that nurse, Steven" My eyes start to water "I know it was childish but I wanted to hurt you back. Besides, I needed time, I knew I was going to forgive you eventually but I needed time to do so"
"Why did you take Kelso back so easily after everything? I know I'll probably sound like a jerk, but why did you need so much time to think when it was with me?"
"Because I loved you so much, way more than I've ever loved Michael" A few tears escape my eyes and he brushes them off with his thumb, looking just as pained as I do "And I never expected that from you, you always said I deserved better than him and you did the same thing he did, it crushed me"
He looks at me, his eyes reflecting the regret he feels "I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry too" I say "I should've never played with you and Michael that way, no matter how much you've hurted me. I should've told you I needed time, maybe if I did that you wouldn't have dated that biker chick" I look down, the way he dismissed me to be with her hurted just as much as when he cheated
His eyes are closed now, he looks sad, and thoughtful, he opens his eyes and takes my hand "I'm sorry, I was an idiot, there's literally no excuse for what I did back then. I never even kissed that girl, I was just using her to make you feel bad, and I was an asshole. I'm so sorry"
"It's okay now… I kind of did the same thing, using Michael to make you jealous" I say and he puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer again
"You know what was my first thought when Sam first arrived here?" I mumble against his chest "I was replaced by a blonde whore with a nice rack. Again. It happened with Pam Macy, Laurie, the biker girl and then Sam. I kept thinking that maybe I was the problem, maybe I wasn't good enough"
I feel Steven tensing up and he tightens his grip in my shoulder, he's feeling guilty, I raise my head to look him in the eyes "I'm not saying that so you can feel bad, Steven. I don't want to hurt you, I just think that if we want to start over we should be honest about everything"
"I know doll" He sighed "It's just… it's not easy to hear all those stuff, sometimes I hate myself for hurting you so much"
"Someone once told me that it's never easy, fighting for things that are worth it. And I definitely think we are worth it, Steven" He closes his eyes again and pulls me closer, kissing the top of my head
"I love you so much" He says, his voice a little muffled by my hair
"I love you too" I answer with honesty, and he pulls me into his lap, holding me tight and pressing a very gentle kiss on my neck before leaning his head on my shoulders
"We were idiots" He says as I place my hands on the back of his neck, playing with his curls "Instead of talking and solving our shit like two proper human beings, we kept trying to hurt each other"
"And are never doing that again" I say matter of factly
"Never" He agrees, placing another kiss on my neck
"Why do you think we kept making those stupid decisions back then?" I ask curiously
"Must be an influence of our shitty parents" He answers thoughtfully "It's probably because we were abandoned by them and other shit like that"
"My father never really abandoned me" I say "He neglected me many times, but he never took off without telling me when he was coming back like my mother"
"The best thing that ever happened to me was being abandoned by Edna" He says "She was a really bad mother"
Steven told me a few stories about Edna when we were together, and I hate that woman. I truly hate her, the things she used to do to my Steven… If I ever see that woman I'll end up shooting her.
"Thank God for the Formans" I spoke "Where do you think we would've ended up without them?"
"I would probably be pumping gas somewhere, or in prison" He answers
"I would probably be married to a rich old doctor, drinking my misery away" I frowned, and leaned back into his chest, one of his hands moved to my hair, playing with it
I'm feeling so relaxed and comfortable sitting on Steven's lap, that I couldn't suppress a yawn, I barely slept last night.
"Feeling sleepy?" He asks
"I kept thinking about my father last night, so I didn't slept well" I answer
"Me neither" He says and I look questionably at him "I kept thinking about the beautiful brunette next door, I was worried about you. Almost sneaked in just to make sure you were alright" I smiled softly at him and closed my eyes, enjoying our closeness "Wanna take a nap?" He asks with a small smile, he looks tired as well, so I just nod. He shifted a bit, he was probably going to carry me all the way back his room
"Let's stay here" I mumble, too comfortable to move all the way to his bedroom, my eyelids feeling too heavy already
"Okay" He says, lightly pushing me backwards on the couch and laying next to me. He wraps his arms around me and I feel like I'm in heaven. He brings me closer to him, and I take one of his hands and intertwine our fingers together.
I hear muffled voices and I'm abruptly woken up by a blinding flash of light. Steven protectively pulls me closer to him, and I slowly open my eyes. Mrs. Forman is standing in front of the TV with a camera, Eric and Donna next to her. Eric was grinning slyly at us, and Donna was glaring at him.
"I'm sorry, you two just looked to God darn cute, I had to take a picture!" Mrs. Forman says, taking another picture
"Mom, can I have a copy of this picture? I love seeing Steven being cute" Eric says with a evil grin on his face
I don't like being woken up, so I'm a little moody, and Eric making fun of Steven for being cute is really pissing me off. Donna is scowling at him, she's probably remembering the conversation we had days ago.
"Mrs. Forman, when you develop those photos, could you put them inside a tiny blue box? It's in Eric's bedroom, third drawer of his dresser, underneath his Luke Skywalker costume" I say, and Eric's face went pale
I can feel Steven's body shaking with laughter besides me. Both Mrs. Forman and Donna are glaring at Eric now.
"Eric," Mrs. Forman says with a stern look, "What is Jackie talking about?"
"What? No… it's nothing, I… you're the devil!" He yells, pointing his finger accusingly at me, Donna is rolling her eyes at him and Steven is almost losing it
"And don't you ever forget it" I say with a evil smirk on my face, making Eric shriek and hide behind Donna, who's now trying really hard not to laugh
"I'll just forget about this conversation completely in order to stay sane" Mrs. Forman says as she goes upstairs
Eric, still hiding behind Donna, stares at me "How did you know?"
"I'm the devil, Eric. I know everything" Eric limped his way to the stairs, looking terrified at me
"I'm just…" He points upstairs and starts to climb the stairs the best way he can
"Up, Eric" Donna says as she turns around, making him jump on her back so she can carry him piggyback style again "You are going to show me what's on that box right now!" I hear she saying as they disappeared from the basement
"I love when you burn Forman" Steven comments as we sat back on the couch "By the way, what were you talking about?" He asks curiously
"Oh, Eric keeps dirty drawings of Luke and Leia in there, it's very disturbing" I cringe
Steven laughs one more time, pressing a kiss on top of my head "You're a evil genius"
"I am" I giggled "I missed being able to mess with Eric"
"I missed being able to see you messing with Eric" He says, standing up and glancing briefly at his watch
"Shit, we slept for almost 3 hours" He says, giving me his hand to help me stand up "C'mon doll, let's get you some lunch before you head back"
I smile and nod, I was feeling really shitty this morning, worried sick about my dad. Steven actually managed to make me feel better, and in the end we talked some more about our relationship. I have a really bad feeling about this whole situation with my father, but I also have a really good feeling about Steven.
Maybe we will be able to work things out earlier than I thought.
A/N: Hey, I know this chapter is not the greatest, but I feel like it's very important for us to know and understand what's going on in Jackie's mind at this moment.
I just wanted to say a big thank you to all the people that left reviews on my story in the last couple weeks. I started to write fanfiction as a way to cope with my problems and improve my english in the process - it's been really therapeutic so far, and it really makes my day whenever I see a kind comment.
Next chapter will be up next week, and it's one of my favorites!
