Trigger warning: mentions of child abuse and past eating disorders.


Chapter twenty:

HYDE

I feel her fingers running through my scalp softly, one of her hands is in my hair, her other hand is interlaced with mine. I slowly opened my eyes, was I asleep? I look at the person who's currently staring lovingly at me. I can't help but smile at her.

"Good morning, sunshine" She says, trying to smile. Then it hits me, her father's dead, her mother is a bitch, her life is crumbling right now, and fuck, has she even slept last night?

"What time is it, doll?" I ask, sitting up on the couch. My back hurts, and hers is probably hurting too, I fell asleep on her chest for Christ's sake, and she's tiny.

"7:30am" She answers me. I take a good look at her, she looks even more tired than she looked yesterday, and fuck, I shouldn't have slept on her, I should've kept her company or tried harder to lure her to sleep.

"Shit doll, have you slept at all?" I ask, concerned about her

She takes a deep breath and looks away from me, her eyes filling with tears "No… I tried Steven, I really did, but I couldn't…"

I sigh and take her in my arms, engulfing her in a tight hug "It's not your fault, but you have to sleep sometime baby, I don't want you passing out from exhaustion, you have to take care of yourself"

"I promise I'll sleep tonight, I know I have to" She muttered, sounding unsure. She probably doesn't know if she's going to be able to sleep, but she can't just not sleep at all. She'll sleep tonight, even if I have to give her one of Mrs. Forman pills.

"You should've woken me up when you saw I was drifting off." I say, remembering last night.

Jackie and I hung out with the gang for a while, but I could tell she wasn't feeling so comfortable around everyone so we sat on the Forman's porch until Mrs. Forman called us in for dinner. We stayed together all night, Donna and Forman kept us company for a while, but then it was just us. We watched TV, played chess, and I tried to make her sleep for a really long time, we laid on my cot for what seemed like hours, I was exhausted, but I promised myself I wouldn't sleep until she did, and she didn't. After a few hours, I just gave up, and we came back to the couch to watch more TV, and I probably fell asleep watching one of those boring movies that were on. I shouldn't have slept at all, not until she did, I really wanted to keep her company.

"Steven… I don't want to be a burden" She said in a defeated tone, looking down at the floor

"Hey" I place my finger on her chin and lift her head up slowly, looking into her eyes "You are not a burden, okay? I love you and I just don't want you to be alone"

A few tears escaped her eyes and she quickly wiped them off before I had the chance to, she laid her head on my shoulder "Thank you" She whispered "And I love you too"

I kiss the top of her head and pull her closer to me. Seeing Jackie like this is killing me.

"Besides, you looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you up" She said softly "You were so relaxed, just seeing you like that relaxed me as well"

I grinned slightly at her, and we stayed like this for a few minutes, until I remembered where we're supposed to go.

"Let's go upstairs and have some breakfast, dollface" I say, placing a quick kiss on her lips and bringing her upstairs with me. The second we step into the kitchen, I'm overwhelmed by the amount of food Mrs. Forman is preparing.

"Good morning!" The woman in question says cheerfully, kissing my cheek and then Jackie's. Red and Eric are already at the table and I can feel Jackie squeezing my hand. I know she's not feeling very good, everyone's looking at her and I feel her tensing up a bit.

"Good morning Mrs. Forman" She answers, trying her best to replicate her usual sweet and cheerful tone, and failing miserably at it.

"Oh, sit down, honey" Mrs. Forman says, guiding both Jackie and I to the kitchen table "How did you spend the night?" She asked

Before I had the chance to answer, Jackie jumped in "It was fine. Thank you for letting me stay with Steven, Mr. and Mrs. Forman"

"Oh, you're welcome honey" Mrs. Forman says, placing a kiss on top of Jackie's head and placing a plate in front of her.

The second Jackie saw the plate I noticed her posture changing, and hell no. There's no way in hell she's not eating today, I know she's going to stay with Pam today, and whenever Pam is mentioned or is around, Jackie tends to want to skip her meals. Yeah, I've noticed that, I'm not stupid, I know there's more to that and I'm not pressuring Jackie to tell me, she will eventually. But that doesn't mean I'm letting her starve herself.

I'm not an ass, I get that sometimes it's hard to develop an appetite in situations like this, but I don't care. She's going to eat, she's already not sleeping well.

"Jackie…" I start, ready to lecture her in front of everyone

"I think I'm going to eat at Bob's" She says, and I look at her questionably "Don't worry, Donna's going to be there, and all my stuff is there anyways" Her tone softened and I sighed

"Fine" I agree reluctantly. Donna is even harsher than me, and she knows something I don't, so I know Jackie's going to be in good hands "I'll drive you to church today, meet you here in an hour?"

"Sure" She says, giving me a quick kiss on the lips "Thank you so much for everything, Mr. and Mrs. Forman, I'll see everyone in a bit"

And then she left through the sliding door. I sigh before taking my seat at the table, and I notice the whole Forman clan is staring at me. I get why Jackie decided to go to Bob's, she's probably feeling pressured.

"Steven, has that girl slept at all?" Mrs. Forman asks me, placing more food on the table and taking her seat

I don't have a reason to lie, I really don't. The Formans are my family and they're worried about Jackie, just like me. I'm not hiding anything from them.

"No" I answer, unable to hide my frustration

"Man, have you slept?" Forman asked and I nod

"Unfortunately" I mutter, filling my cup with coffee "I was supposed to keep her company but I just drifted off at some point. Haven't gotten much sleep, just a couple hours, but I shouldn't have slept at all, not if she didn't. I don't want her to be alone"

"Oh honey, don't blame yourself. Some people, when they lose loved ones, can't sleep. It happened to me when my father died" Mrs. Forman says

"Yeah, but it's the second night in a row" I say, frustrated "She has to sleep sometime, Mrs. Forman"

"Don't worry, she will" She answers

"And if she doesn't, you can ask her if she wants one of Kitty's special pills" Red completed

"Yeah, I thought about that. But isn't this kind of dangerous?" I ask

"It's not" She reassures me

"Alright" I agree "But only if she's okay with that"

"She will be, that girl looks exhausted, she's probably aching for some sleep" Mrs. Forman finishes and I nod, starting to eat my breakfast

After a while, Forman broke the silence.

"Man, are we really going to let Jackie spend the night with her mother tonight?"

Mrs. Forman tenses up and Red scowls, they're probably just against it as I am, Pam acted nothing like a concerned mother yesterday, and just like me, Mr. and Mrs. Forman both hate shitty parents.

"You know… the audacity of that woman…" Mrs. Forman comments, and we all nod in agreement

"Jackie doesn't really want to spend the night at Pam's, but she says that they probably have legal documents to work on and she wants to take care of it soon, because the more she postpones it, the more Pam stays in Point Place" I say

"I still think someone should tag along with her" Red says, looking suggestively at me

"She wants to go alone" I reply

"That doesn't sound like a good idea man, Donna didn't tell me anything, but she kept calling Pam a lot of names last night" Eric says "And believe me, those weren't nice names at all"

"I'm going to drop by to check on her" I blurt "I'm not letting her spend the night alone with her mother, I'm not. So I'll leave them alone for an hour, then I'll sneak back in"

I glance between Mr and Mrs. Forman, I can't deny that I'm a little afraid they're not going to approve my plan, but honestly, it's the best I could come up with.

"Good" Red says, grinning slightly "Try and talk her into spending the night here again, if she doesn't want to, make sure to sleep there with her"

I breathe relieved. I knew they'd get it. They're worried about Jackie, just like I am.

She's not okay, and I'm afraid she's going to burst sometime. I don't think she really processed the fact that her father is dead, and when she does… I don't want her to be alone because I know that when she finally processes the news she's going to break, and it's going to get ugly.

I finish my coffee and fill the cup again. I'm going to need all the caffeine I can get today.


DONNA

"Hey Donna, can you zip me up, please?" Jackie asks me, standing in front of me with an unzipped black dress

"Sure" I say, helping her

When she's properly dressed, she turns to look at me and tries to smile "Thank you"

Jackie doesn't know that her failed attempts to smile hurt even more than when she's not smiling at all. It's not a real Jackie smile if her eyes don't sparkle and she does that thing where she lightly tilts her head. She's trying so hard, she's trying to be strong but she's barely hanging on.

She looks exhausted, it doesn't need a genius to figure out that she spent another night without any sleep.

This sucks.

She reaches for her suitcase like she's searching for something, and I observe it carefully. She sighed in frustration and looked pleadingly at me.

"Hey Donna, can I borrow some makeup? Steven didn't pack me any" She asks, and I frown. Why the hell is she going to wear makeup to her father's funeral?

Then it hits me. Fucking Pam.

"I didn't bring any" I say honestly. I don't usually wear makeup. "Jackie, you don't need to wear makeup, you're burying your father today, and you look good, as always" I say, trying to convince her.

And it's true, Jackie is a beautiful woman, with or without any makeup on. And she's really insecure, all because of Pam.

When Jackie and I moved to Chicago, I learned that during her entire childhood, her mother made her feel like she's not pretty enough. So, all those times Jackie praised herself and her beauty, were really just her trying to reassure herself that she is pretty. To her, leaving the apartment without any makeup on was unacceptable.

When Jackie told me everything about her mother and how she was treated her entire life, I literally saw red. I've never liked Pam, but hearing Jackie's story made me truly hate that woman. Jackie and I talked a lot that day, and I told her that it's okay not to be okay, that's a part of being human. She doesn't have to put on a mask and pretend like she doesn't have any problems, she doesn't have to be perfect all the time.

So, the next day, she went to the bakery in the morning with a clean face and a tiny smile. I was so proud of her. She was gaining confidence, and now her mother is trying to take it all away again.

"I just don't want to hear my mother complaining all day long, it's already going to be a rough day" Jackie says

"Trust me Jackie, you look fine" I say "If your mother says something I'll kick her ass"

"Yeah, don't do that" Jackie answers me, and I grab her arm, dragging her out of my room with me

"C'mon, everyone's waiting at the driveway" I say, hugging her side.

I see everyone standing at the driveway, the sight was odd because they were all wearing black. Jackie went straight into Hyde's arms, and I stood near my boyfriend. Who looks extremely sexy in a full black attire.

Eric grabs my hand and we went to the cruiser, Red's the one driving so we're in the backseat with Fez.

I take a deep breath and try to prepare myself for what's to come. I just hope I can control my temper, Jackie doesn't need to bury both of her parents today.


She's laughing. She's fucking laughing and I want to murder her. She's not even trying to pretend like she's a sad widow, she's acting like nothing happened, like her daughter isn't falling apart in front of everyone.

The funeral was tough. Jackie looked sick during the entire thing, and when her father was buried I saw another part of her dying, right in front of my eyes. And I've never felt more useless in my life.

She wasn't left alone with her mother for a second, someone was always with her, Hyde and I didn't leave her side once. And thank God, Pam hasn't tried to approach Jackie today. She sent her a few scolding looks, but Jackie ignored it completely. If Pam was in one side of the room, Hyde dragged Jackie to the opposite side.

The living room of the Burkhart manor is filled with people, and there are some familiar faces between them. Jackie's boss came all the way from Chicago to attend the funeral and offer her condolences, I thought it was pretty cool. She's currently talking with WB, who seems to be pretty worried about Jackie, Kelso brought Brooke and Betsy, and even Leo is here. She's not going through this alone.

"You doing alright?" I ask my midget friend. She's standing in between me and Hyde, and she has a lost expression on her face.

"Yeah, I'm…" She starts to answer me, but suddenly her face goes white and I can see she's struggling to be on her feet. Fuck, is she going to pass out? I moved to help steady her, but Hyde was quicker than me. I grab a chair and Hyde guides Jackie to it. She's still pale as hell but she didn't lose consciousness.

"Jackie, what the hell?" I ask, kneeling so I can be face to face with her

"Jackie, have you eaten at all today?" Hyde asks with a stern tone, I can see he's getting frustrated and he's trying to hold himself back

"Crap, I forgot" Jackie answers, burying her face on her hands

"Jackie…" Hyde starts, and I can see he's getting ready to lecture her "You said you were going to eat at Donna's!"

"I'm sorry, I genuinely forgot!" Jackie justifies herself, looking pleadingly at me and Hyde "When I arrived I was about to grab something to eat, but Bob was weeping in Donna's arms and I totally freaked out and went straight to her room to get ready"

Hyde looks questionably at me "Is it true?" He asks

I nod, remembering the scene. Jackie had a point in freaking out, my dad was crying because he couldn't believe he had dated Pam. He's seeing a whole new side of her after he saw the way she spoke to Jackie yesterday. And I may have told him a few things.

Hyde sighs and I see the tension slowly leaving his body. He looks tenderly at Jackie "Stay here with Donna, I'll bring you something"

He kissed her briefly on the lips and headed to the huge kitchen, where the caterers are. I look expectantly at Jackie.

"I promise you I didn't do it on purpose Donna" She says

"I know" I answer, trying not to show sadness at the broken girl in front of me "Have you told Hyde? About everything Pam's done to you?" I question her

She shakes her head "No, I'll tell him eventually, I just don't think it's a good idea to tell him now, I'm afraid he's going to end up blowing up on her. You know Steven has a temper. Have you told him anything?"

"Not really, I just asked him to monitor your eating and stuff" I reply

"But he always did that" She mumbles, then she gets a look of realization "He does that since the day I passed out in front of him"

I remember that story. Hell, I remember everything Jackie told me that night.

She was pretty down when we first arrived in Chicago, and one night we were watching a movie and she just broke down. She told me everything, every heartache she's ever experienced, with her mother, Kelso, Hyde, me… It was a lot, but I think it made her feel better. Jackie and I have been friends for a long time, but I think that night was what made us sisters. And I think it's pretty safe to say I was shocked when she told me everything that Pam has pressured her to do.

I know the story Jackie is referring to. She passed out in front of Hyde in that fateful summer I was in California. She said that Hyde's lecture was what motivated her to stop starving herself to please her mother. After that day, it was extremely rare to see her skipping meals.

"Hey" I hear Hyde's voice, he's standing next to Jackie's chair with a plate filled with food "So, I got pigs in a blanket and deviled eggs"

Jackie smiled softly at him "You know I love deviled eggs" She said, taking one out of the plate for herself "Thank you"

He smiled back and kissed her temple, watching her eat. I take another look around the room, Eric is talking to Fez in a corner, he noticed I'm looking at him and he gave me that look that he thinks it's sexy, and I have to repress a laugh. Pam is smiling and talking with some snobby women I don't know, and of course she has a full glass of wine in her hands. Mr. and Mrs. Forman are talking to my dad and Kelso is sitting with Brooke and Betsy. Little Betsy is staring at us, more specifically, at Jackie. Maybe I could ask Kelso to bring Betsy here, Jackie loves that kid, it'll probably cheer her up a bit.

After a while, Jackie finished eating and she regained some of the color on her face. Her mother sent us some very nasty glares when she realized Jackie was eating, and I even laughed a bit when Hyde smirked at her and fed Jackie, Pam's face was getting red with fury and she stormed out of the room without saying a thing.

The room was slowly getting more and more empty, people were leaving and I dread the moment I have to leave. I really don't want Jackie to spend the night with her mother, I'm afraid for my friend.

I feel Eric taking my hand in his and I know it's time to leave. Everyone but Hyde and I are already saying their goodbyes to Jackie, who doesn't look very comfortable. I notice how she often steals some glances at her mother.

"Jackie…" I say, hugging her "You sure you're alright with spending the night here? Do you have your things? I can sleepover if you want to"

"I'll be fine, Donna" She answers me "I have my things upstairs and if I need anything I'll call you, I promise"

I take a deep breath and try to hold back my tears. Why do I have this feeling that something terrible is about to happen?

"Okay. Love you, midget" I say, before letting her go from my embrace. Hyde quickly took her in his arms, he kissed her passionately and whispered something in her ear, making her tear up.

"Doll, if you need anything…" He starts, and she interrupts him with another kiss

"I know" She says as they broke apart

"Are you going to sleep tonight?" He asks

"I think so, there's no way I can stay without any sleep for three nights in a row" She says

"I love you, you know that, right?" He says, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear

"I love you too" She answers with a small smile. He kisses her one more time before leaving with me.

We're now standing near the cars, Hyde is unlocking his Camino.

"You're still sneaking in later, right?" I ask

"Definitely" He answers.


A/N: Hi! I feel like I must warn you (even though it's technically a spoiler), in the next chapter Jackie is going to have a mental breakdown and I will elaborate a lot on her thoughts. I don't want to make anyone feel bad, so, if you're triggered by it, please don't read it, it's not going to be pretty.

I'm thinking about writing a one-shot about Donna and Jackie's bonding moment in Chicago. I tried to include it in this story as a flashback but I wasn't so pleased with it. If I do decide to write it, the story will explore Jackie's feelings about everything that happened in her life and Donna's reaction to everything, I also plan on making Donna vent a little about her problems as well. Please let me know what you think about this.

This chapter was extremely difficult to write, mostly because funerals freak me out and I've never really stayed in one long enough to know what it's really like. Besides, funerals in the United States are different then the funerals in my country, but I did some research and I hope it was okay.

The next chapter will be up on Sunday. By the way, was the site lagging with you guys this week? I couldn't read the updates of one of my favorite stories for days and I've noticed that not too many people read chapter 19. Anyways, if you're feeling up to, can you please leave a review, you have no idea how much your reviews inspire me and make me happy.