Chapter twenty three:

DONNA

"Oh my God" I whisper as I look at what used to be Jackie's room.

Everything is destroyed, the whole room is a mess. The mattress is on the floor, both of her dresses are completely broken, there's shards of what I assume it's a broken mirror on the floor and there's blood7. A lot of it. I honestly don't know why Mrs. Forman hasn't forced Jackie to go to a hospital, from what it looks, she bled a lot. There's books, old magazines and records scattered throughout the whole room, and I spotted her suitcase in the corner.

I look back at Eric and he looks pale. Of course he does, blood freaks him out.

I take a deep breath and blink back a few tears. This is not the time for me to freak out, I need to get my shit together for Jackie.

Before I could do anything, Eric stepped forwards and grabbed Jackie's things for me.

"Let's go Donna" He said softly, waiting for me at the door. I nodded and left with him.

Eric placed Jackie's things in the backseat of the Cruiser and opened the passenger door for me. I entered without saying a thing, the vision of a bloody Jackie and her destroyed room won't leave my mind.

"What do you think Pam is going to say when she sees the state of Jackie's room?" He asked me after a few seconds

"Probably nothing" I answer "I don't really know what to expect from her anymore"

"Yeah, and we shouldn't let her near Jackie anymore" He said as we left the Burkhart's driveway.

"I'll die before letting that bitch near Jackie again" I answer honestly.

I meant it. What I saw today… Hyde carrying a bloody, sobbing Jackie on his arms, it's an image I'll never forget. Never. And I'll make sure I'll never see it again. If Pam really was the catalyst of Jackie's breakdown, then she better not approach Jackie again, because I'm afraid of what I'll do if she does.

"Donna… I know it's not my business to ask, but…" Eric starts apprehensively "What's the deal with her mom? Was she always like this?"

"Yes" I answer "But she used to be subtle about it. She was only a bitch to Jackie in private, according to Jackie"

"I mean… She was so cold, and heartless" Eric continued "She never even asked Jackie how she was doing"

"Yep, that's Pam" I say bitterly "Doesn't care about anyone but herself"

"I'm sorry I acted like a dumbass when she was dating your father" Eric says honestly "I wish I could take it back"

"It's okay. Back then I had no idea how cruel she was too" I say with a small smile "Although I could live without you drooling all over her"

"Sorry. She's not even attractive, y'know? After what I saw in these last couple days, I don't even think she's pretty anymore"

"I know" I say, putting my hand on his knee "Thank you"

"How do you think Hyde is doing?" Eric asked as he started to drive

"He's a mess" I answer "I can't imagine what he walked into when he found Jackie"

"Do you think…" Eric starts apprehensively and I send him an encouraging look "Do you think Jackie hurt herself on purpose tonight?"

"I don't know" I answer "I hope not, but I really don't know, we need to ask Hyde later"

"I…" Eric muttered, looking unsure "I really don't know what I'm supposed to do Donna"

"Neither do I"

"I mean…" Eric says "God, this whole thing is so scary and fucked up, I'm afraid for Jackie, man. I've never seen anything like this before"

"I've been taking some psych classes at college" I say "It has absolutely nothing to do with music or journalism, but I thought it would be interesting. I've seen my professor talking about this before"

"Really?" Eric asked, sounding interested "I didn't know that. What did your professor say?"

"Jackie has been keeping stuff in for a really long time, Eric" I say "I mean, she grew up in a fucked up household, and she never gave us a clue. In fact, we all used to think that she had the perfect life, until her father went to prison"

"Yeah…" Eric sighs "We really were shitty friends, weren't we?"

"Yes" I answer honestly "And I'll always regret that. The only person she could really count on was Hyde, but even he fucked up sometimes."

"By sleeping with the nurse and running away to Vegas?" Eric asked and I grimaced

"Among other things" I say "But that's not relevant now, Hyde's changed, thank God. Even after her father went to prison, Jackie kept wearing this mask, pretending things were fine. Eric, she lived alone in that huge house, with no source of income for over three months. God knows what would've happened if Hyde hadn't figured it out and forced her to stay with him in the basement"

"Three months?" Eric asked incredulously and I nodded "Fuck, we should've noticed that man, we could've helped"

"But we didn't, because we were too focused on our stupid high school problems" I say bitterly, I'll never forgive myself for letting Jackie go through that alone "And Jackie kept doing that for a really long time, hiding her problems, pretending her life is perfect. Until she couldn't anymore, and she exploded today"

"That's what you think it is?" Eric asks

"That, combined with the fact that her father died, and I also bet that her mother did something too, when they were alone at her house." I say "Jackie had a mental breakdown today, and I'm…"

"You're what, Donna?" Eric parks the car in his driveway and looks me in the eye. I try my hardest to keep the tears in.

"I think Jackie's depressed" I say with a hoarse voice "And not like, 'I broke up with my boyfriend' depressed or 'I failed at school' depressed. I mean, depression depressed. It's a disease. I was already worried when we first moved to Chicago, but now that her father died…"

"Crap." Eric says "And how do you cure that?"

"There is no cure" I let out a few tears, and Eric tenderly brushes them off with his thumb "And it can get serious, Eric. Like, suicide serious."

"I'm sure there's something we can do…" Eric mumbles nervously

"I don't know, I'll have to do some research about it" I say "But maybe I'm wrong, alright? Let's just… Let's talk to Hyde first, and then I'll ask your mom for advice. She's a nurse, she'll probably have more information than me"

"Okay… let's… let's do that" Eric says, picking Jackie's stuff from the backseat of the car and opening the door for me.

I nod and he kissed my temple before entering the house through the kitchen door. I walk beside him, and Mr. and Mrs. Forman are sitting on the kitchen table, and they both looked very serious.

"Donna, honey, can you go get Steven for me?" Mrs. Forman gently asked when she noticed my presence "I need to talk with you two"

"Yeah, sure" I answer "Is Jackie with him?"

"She's probably asleep by now, I gave her a special pill" She said

"Okay, I'll go get him" I say, and Eric follows me, carrying Jackie's suitcase with him.

The basement is dark and cold, the only light I see is coming from Hyde's room. I can also hear the final notes of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You" playing softly in the background.

Eric sits on the couch while I go to Hyde's room, gently opening the door, and Leo Sayer's "When I Need You" starts to play right after Zeppelin.

"Zeppelin followed by Leo Sayer?" I ask, with a small smile

Hyde noticed my presence and smiled sadly at Jackie's sleeping figure "She made me this mixtape for our second anniversary"

"You should win an award for being able to keep Jackie's crappy music taste at bay" I say "She actually listens to Zeppelin because of you"

"Only the mushy songs" He answers me, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Jackie's ear "She says it reminds her of us"

"Of course she does" I laugh slightly to myself "We brought her stuff"

"Leave it in the basement, I'll pick it up later" He says

"This song is beautiful" I say, paying attention to Leo Sayer's lyrics

"This song was playing on the radio when we had our first kiss" He answered me, still looking tenderly at Jackie. I still haven't had the guts to actually look at her. "She used to say that this was going to be the song of our first dance, when we get married"

I just smile, and I take a deep breath before looking at Jackie. Really looking at her.

I feel a pang on my heart when I take in her sleeping figure. She's wearing one of Hyde's shirts, her knees are all bandaged and so is her arm, she looks so peaceful, sleeping on Hyde's lap, and he can't take his eyes off her. I can see the worry in his eyes and it fucking pains me.

"Mrs. Forman wants to talk to us" I say

"Now?" He asks, looking at me incredulously

"Yeah" I reply "It could be important"

"I'm not leaving her alone" He answers me

"But Mrs. Forman probably wants to talk to us about her" I say, and he sighs

"Look Donna, I'm just as worried as you, and believe me, I would really like to hear what Mrs. Forman has to say, she's a nurse and she probably knows a lot about this stuff, but I'm not leaving her alone" He says impassively

"She's asleep" I say, knowing it won't work

"I can stay with her" We hear a new voice, and suddenly, Eric's standing by my side, looking at Hyde "I'll just sit in the chair, read a comic book, and if something happens I'll go get you in a sec"

Hyde looked at Eric for a few seconds, then he looked at the sleeping Jackie, ran his hand softly across her cheek, and nodded reluctantly.

"Fine. But Forman, get me if anything happens, if she shifts, if she moves a finger, I want to know. Got it?"

"Yeah man, don't worry" Eric says

Hyde kissed Jackie's forehead and left with me, but not before looking at Jackie one last time.

"We need to talk about what happened, Hyde" I say, and he sighs

"We'll talk about it, alright? That's probably what Mrs. Forman wants to talk about now"

I just nod and we enter the kitchen. Mr. and Mrs. Forman are in the same position as before, and they were both looking extremely worried at us.

"How is she?" Mrs. Forman asked gently

"She's asleep" Hyde answered, sitting next to Kitty "The pill kicked in half an hour ago"

"Oh, good" She says "She'll probably be asleep for a really long time"

"Eric's down there with her" I say, sitting on the chair next to Hyde "He's going to stay there until Hyde gets back"

Hyde just nodded and rubbed his eyes. I look expectantly at Mrs. Forman, wanting to know what this is all about.

"Donna, how was Jackie when you first moved to Chicago?" She asked seriously

I sigh and I send Hyde an apologetic look, this is not going to be easy for him to hear.

"She was a mess" I answer honestly "When she wasn't at work she was in her room or in the living room watching TV. And she cried all the time."

Hyde closed his eyes and leaned his head on his hands, but Mrs. Forman nodded for me to keep going.

"She was trying really hard to act normal, but most of the time she was just… sulking in the apartment." I finish

"And has she said anything to you, Donna? About how she was feeling?" She asked

"Just a couple of times" I answer "We talk a lot, don't get me wrong, but she never liked to talk about her parents, or… Hyde. She tends to keep the serious stuff in"

"And what did she say?"

"There was this one night… I really don't want to talk too much about it because Jackie is very private about this stuff and it is pretty serious" I say "She told me about her childhood and her parents that night, and honestly, it was very disturbing, her mother is a very sick human being"

Mrs. Forman placed her hand on top of mine and squeezed it encouragingly, while Red, who hasn't said a thing during this whole time, stood up from the chair and went to stand near Hyde, so he could place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Can you tell me Donna?" She asked "I just want to know so we can help her"

I sigh. I want to tell the Formans and Hyde, I really do, but Jackie made me promise not to tell another human being.

I want to see her better, and I'm seriously considering telling them, but is it worth the risk of losing Jackie's trust?

"Mrs. Forman, I'm sorry but… I promised her and…" I start, trying to find a way to explain why I'm not telling them without sounding like a jerk.

"It's okay honey" She said "Back to her behavior in Chicago… Did she get better?"

"Yeah" I answer "I mean, she was getting better with time, but this year she was almost her full self again, until that phone call…"

We stayed in silence for a few seconds, then Mrs. Forman looked at Red, who just nodded and looked at Hyde.

"Give me the keys to your car, Steven" Red says gruffly, and we all stared at him confused

"Alright" Hyde said, giving him his keys "Why?"

Red sighed "I'll clean up your car for you"

Oh.

I see Hyde nodding and giving Mr. Forman a grateful look. Hyde's car must have Jackie's blood everywhere, I haven't even thought about it.

I take a closer look at Hyde, and he looks like a wreck, you can see how distressed he is because he's not with Jackie right now. His eyes are red and he keeps anxiously tapping his fingers on the kitchen table, glancing at the basement door every few seconds.

Red sent Mrs. Forman a meaningful look before going to work at Hyde's car in the driveway, and Mrs. Forman took a seat next to us.

"Okay… Here's the thing. Donna, Steven, I'm going to need you two to watch Jackie's behavior very carefully from now on" She started, and we both directed our full attention to her "I hope I'm wrong, I really do, but from what I can tell… Things are going to get bad"

"How bad?" Hyde asked, looking anguished

"Grief is a very powerful emotion" She continued "The grief by itself is dangerous, but combined with other things… She's going to need you two a lot"

"How bad, Mrs. Forman?" Hyde asked again

"Very bad, honey" She answered, giving us a sad look "She was keeping everything in during those last couple days, but she finally bursted tonight and I'm afraid things are going to get way worse."

"You think she's going to be depressed, right?" I ask hesitantly. Fuck, I really wished I was wrong before.

"Probably" Mrs. Forman says sadly "And if she does, you two need to be there for her"

"Of course we are going to be there for her" I say promptly "Is there anything we can do to avoid… 'you know what', Mrs. Forman?"

"I'm afraid not, dear" She shook her head and sniffled a little, she was trying to keep herself together "Do you know what depression is?"

At the same time I nodded, Hyde shook his head, and Mrs. Forman sighed.

"Depression is an illness. A very serious illness" Mrs. Forman started, and I could feel Hyde's fear radiating from his body "A mental illness. It's when a person gets so consumed by this… this sadness… and she starts to lose interest in things. It's when a person's energy is completely drained, and they just… feel empty. I don't really know how to explain, I'm just a nurse, not a psychiatrist or a therapist, but from what I can tell, Jackie is depressed"

"And what can we do about that?" Hyde asks, looking antsy

"Be there for her." Mrs. Forman answered "It's rough, very rough, seeing someone you love going through that. The right approach would be starting Jackie in therapy, but…"

"So, let's do that, right now" Hyde says "I'll settle an appointment for tomorrow, I can call WB, he'll help, he can set her with the best damn therapist in the midwest and…"

"Jackie needs to want to go to therapy, Steven" Mrs. Forman interrupted him gently "She needs to understand that she needs help, and she needs to be willing to search for the right treatment. We can't force her, it'll only push her away. This is not a battle we can fight for her, honey"

Hyde rubbed his temple, in a failed attempt to keep himself together. I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked at Mrs. Forman again.

"Can we ask her to go to therapy right away?" I ask, and Mrs. Forman sighs sadly

"You can, but I doubt it'll work" She answered "Give it some time, but be there for her as hell. Make sure she's not skipping any meals, ask her to have a walk at the park one day with you, fresh air helps a lot, be a shoulder for her to cry on… even the smallest of gestures help, Donna"

"Okay…" I say "Is that it?"

"I also recommend you two to do some research about the subject, about grief and depression" She says "The more informed you are, the better. And be gentle with her. If you need anything, anything at all, just call me. Are you going back to Chicago?"

"We kind of have to" I answer honestly "I have school and Jackie only has five more days off work"

"I'll talk to WB, take a few weeks off" Hyde says "I want to be with her"

"That's good… now, before we can go to bed. Steven, do you know what set Jackie off?" Mrs. Forman asks gently

"Her stupid bitch of a mother" He answers, not bothering on hiding the bitterness on his tone "Sorry"

"Why apologize? You haven't lied" Mrs. Forman says with a small grimace "What did Pam do?"

"A lot" He says "Tried to pin her against me, said I was going to leave her, attacked her appearance… And she's engaged to another guy"

"What?!" Mrs. Forman and I yell at the same time, both of us baffled at the news

"Apparently she paid for Jack's funeral with that guy's money, and she said his death was convenient for her, because now she doesn't need to bother with divorce papers" Hyde scowled and crossed his arms "I think that's what ticked Jackie off, she broke all the shit on her bedroom, that's how she got hurt by the way"

I nod in understanding, and Mrs. Forman looks absolutely pissed off. I can see that she's holding herself back, and I can see the hatred for Pam in her eyes.

"But I also think there's something else" Hyde says "I don't know what it is, because the pill kicked in before I could ask, but I'll ask Jackie about it tomorrow when she wakes up"

Mrs. Forman nodded and we stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, each of us lost in our thoughts about a certain midget.

"Well, I think this is all… If anything happens, please let me know, okay? I'm going to get ready for bed" Mrs. Forman said, kissing the top of Hyde's head and patting me on the shoulder before leaving the kitchen.

Hyde wordlessly got up and went back to the basement, I followed him, I'm exhausted and I want to go lie down, but first I need to get Eric back.

The first thing I notice is that the stereo is off, and I can hear Eric's voice from inside Hyde's room.

"If Jackie's awake and Forman didn't get me I'll kill him" I hear Hyde whispering.

Eric's voice became more clear and we could now hear him perfectly.

"I can't believe anyone followed the falcon here! She sports the best direction system any smuggling ship ever had!" Eric says, in a low and thick voice

"Excuse me, captain" Eric keeps talking, but this time in a robotic and very weird voice "May I remind you that to complete the repairs necessary for our return, you jury-rigged a power bypass of the detection system?"

Hyde and I exchange looks, and we carefully open the door. I repress a very strong urge to laugh when I see Eric, my boyfriend, sitting on the chair and reading one of his comic books enthusiastically to a sleeping Jackie.

"It doesn't matter now" He continues, this time in a girly voice "By the way Jackie, that's Leia - The important thing is how to undo…"

"Forman," Hyde says, interrupting Eric's dramatic reading and startling him "What the hell are you doing?"

"Uh…" Eric mutters, looking at us with wide eyes "I'm reading Star Wars to Jackie"

"And why would you do that?" Hyde asks

"She was getting a little fidgety on her sleep, and Donna mentioned once that Jackie always sleeps better with some background noise" Eric explains sheepishly and I smile

"So you turned off the stereo and started to read Star Wars to her?" I ask

"Well… She hasn't moved since" He says, and I look at Jackie. She looks like she's in a deep sleep, Hyde also noticed that, because I can see he's trying to repress a smile.

"Thanks" Hyde says, looking tenderly at Jackie "Now get out"

"As you wish" Eric says, grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the basement. But as we left I could swear I saw Hyde chuckling to himself.

This is the first time I've seen him smiling since everything happened.

"I've been with you for years, how did I not know that Star Wars has comic books?" I ask incredulously as we enter the Forman's living room.

"You usually tune off whenever I start to talk about geeky stuff" He answers and I laugh

"I can't believe you were reading Star Wars comic books to a sleeping Jackie" I say

"I wanted her to have good dreams!" He defends himself, and I couldn't help but laugh again

"Let's go nerdy boy" I say, with a small smile "We need to get some sleep"


A/N: Hello again! Wow, I can't believe I've finally updated this story. I missed it so much.

I took a break from writing this fic for a while. I was having a severe writer's block, and I was also dealing with a lot of personal stuff. This story is dealing with a very delicate topic (that I do not plan on romantizing) and I was getting kind of sad writing it. But my inspiration came back and I am feeling better now.

I can't make any promises anymore. I don't know when I'm updating again, but I'm already working on some new chapters. But I assure you all that I'm not abandoning this story, I love it way to much to do that.

I'm always posting updates about how my stories are going on tumblr (yeah, I've created a tumblr), and I'm even posting some things about my upcoming stories. In case you want to check it out, it's the same user as this one, just with a hyphen between the words.

I know I always say this in every single final note of every goddamn chapter I post, but the comments are really inspiring. Like, for real. Please tell me what you thought about this chapter! I know it wasn't the biggest chapter and there wasn't a lot of drama, but it's a important one.

See you all again soon! Thank you all so much for reading this!