Lighter Than Air Chapter 2.
Over the past couple years Nejire comfortably slipped right into our little circle, her happy cheerful attitude and her constant bombardment of adorable curiosity allowed her to fit in with Mirio and the other's quite nicely…despite all the questions she would ask them. Which, oddly, didn't bother anyone, Mirio would just laugh or grin and answer everything like it was the first time she ever spoke to him, birds of a feather I guess…gotta admit I felt a little singled out since out of everybody I would either stutter and hide, or answer in such in a low tone of voice that she would have to get closer to hear me, and closer, and closer, and…you get the point, and it would always make me turn red in the face, which was a reoccurring event when anyone would invade my personal space.
That, and she was admittedly really pretty.
I never actually got used to it during our time in elementary school, but she kept me company when I felt alone, and would never tire of me when we spoke at length about heroes, quirks, and our own personal lives…at least when I did speak. I actually started to feel comfortable being around her, my instincts to run away, hide, or just face the wall dying down whenever she was right next to me, yeah it took until middle school, but better late than never as Mirio would say; followed by a corny joke.
However, it unfortunately came back, a huge step backwards in social progress, I hated it so much when it started again; that feeling creeping down my spine, that always made me feel like the world was silently judging me no matter how good I did. Ironically, it all started with a question she asked me near the end of our last semester of middle school-
"Hey hey Amajiki," she looked at me from across our usual lunch table, Mirio at her side already eating some rice.
"Y-yeah Hado," I had some octopus tentacle hanging out of my mouth, I must of looked foolish…but they didn't seem to care.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Do you care if I say no?"
"Sorta."
"I don't think you do Hado," Mirio spoke with his mouth full, some rice falling on his uniform.
"I do I do! But I can't just hold it in ya know, it feels like a volcano about to erupt, except I'm human and won't spew magma and kill everybody," she smiled and laughed, Mirio doing the same, I just smiled because I'm insecure about my laugh…and everything else but I digress.
"I dont know, I could see that happening if they serve spicy curry again," Mirio quipped.
"Ew, no thank you, I had to drink so much water for hours and hours!"
"Milk works better for that Hado," I said, speaking from experience.
"It does!? Wow, my mom was right, it always sounded a little silly to me though!"
"I can turn into any animal I eat and that's the thing that sounds silly?"
"But that's quirks and quirks can be weird and cool like that."
"My quirks not that cool."
"Oh my god are you kidding!? yes it is," Nejire started at me wide eyed, leaning across the table and getting in my face, making my heart feel a tingle for the eighth time today…I didn't know what it was at the time, kinda thought it was just heartburn, cholesterol problems, or cardiac arrest, but you probably already knew what it was.
"Yeah dude," Mirio chimed in, "You have any idea how cool it is turn your fingers into tentacles or grow wings!?"
"Totally! You're so well rounded," she smiled ear to ear as she got closer, forcing me to damage my spine as I tried to gain some distance, to make it look more awkward my lips became pretty jagged and my arms wrapped around my face; my 'Social Shield' as Togata called it.
"Only when I use it well," I groaned.
"What do you think we go to school for," Mirio took another bite of his rice, this time actually swallowing.
"Mhm mhm," Nejire nodded twice, "Besides we're going to U-A you'll get crazy cool and crazy good, even though you already are both of those things, does that make any sense?"
"It wouldn't if it was anyone but you that said it," I spoke low enough that not even a mouse could hear me, but somehow Nejire did.
"But I am the one who said it, also how would it not make sense if anyone else said it? Hey Mirio have you ever said something that sounded so you that it wouldn't make sense being said by someone else?"
"Nah, aside from my jokes really."
"Oh yeah! All of your name puns only makes sense when you say it, so I guess you do have a point Amajiki!"
"N-not the same but okay…"
"We just explained it didn't we," Nejire titled her head again.
"I thought we did pretty good."
"I know right?"
"Didn't you have a question Hado," I asked, not wanting to be praised any longer, the crushing expectations threatening to squash me like a bug.
"Oh right," Although it was pretty easy to get her off topic, it wasnt difficult to get her back on board, something you have to learn when you're Nejire's friend, falling on me and Mirio to steer her back to reality when she floats off into her own little world…no that wasn't a pun…or was it? I'm no good at puns back to story.
"Anyway hey Amajiki," Nejire sat back down, allowing me to finally straighten back up and calm down.
"Yes Hado?"
"Why don't you call me by my first name?"
"H-huh," Five seconds before going back to blushing, a new record.
"Why don't you call me by first name? We're friends aren't we?"
"Y-y-yes we are."
"Then why don't you call me Nejire?"
Thinking fast, I quickly came up with a reply.
"W-well, why don't you call me Tamaki," a valid question that dug me further into the hole of social suicide.
"Because Yuyu keeps reminding me to ask people permission first, otherwise they'll apparently be embarrassed or offended by it, it's pretty weird if you ask me, like hey Togata?"
"Sup."
"Do you get offended or embarrassed if anyone calls you by your first name? I mean it's not as embarrassing as your quirk making you get naked, but you get what I'm trying to ask."
"I know what you mean, and no I don't get offended by it personally."
"See, weird right?"
"Yeah pretty weird," Mirio's scratched his head.
"Mhm mhm, so why don't you call me 'Nejire' Amajiki?"
"Uh Uh," I don't know why (well yes I do) but hearing the words 'Nejire' and 'Amajiki' placed next to each other made me somehow more embarrassed, but honestly didn't sound all that bad to me…anyway I shot Mirio a glance, telling him to bail me out on this one.
"I'm kinda with her on this," Mirio looked back at me, dashing my hopes of rescue; a first for him in this happenstance, "Why don't you? You've known her nearly as long as me."
"See! See! Even Mirio agrees," she stated, patting his shoulders over and over like it was a drumroll, "So come on! Out with it! Why dontcha? Don't be a shy kitten about it!"
"U-u-u-uhhhhhhh," why…oh whhhhhhy did she have to be both right and adorbale while doing so, it always made it hard to even say a single word to her, my tongue feeling like it melted into a bubbling grease that set my throat a blaze, almost silencing me from speaking coherent Japanese, completely unable to interpret.
For most people anyway...
"I think he's trying to say that once you start calling each other by your first names that it'll indicate that you're dating or something like that."
"Dang you got all that from just a few 'uh's'!?"
"Yeah, basically its like his second language."
"But he does this all the time though, does that mean he's been speaking to you and you alone when does it? What has he been saying? Oooo! Ooo! How do you say my name in 'uh'? How do you say hi in 'uh'? *gasp! * Is there a course I can take in it? I wanna be an Amajiki whisperer!"
"I mean if you hang around him long enough you learn how to pick up on it," he grinned at her in excitement, while I just stayed the same fool I was by not speaking, still thrown for a loop.
"Then I'll just hang around him even more than last time," Nejire pumped her fists in the air.
"I think you should, it would do you both some good," the blonde winked at me, making me shake with embarrassment.
"Yayyyyyyyy!"
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaay," Mirio shouted as the two of them pumped their fists up and down, the radiating positive attitude forcing the corners of my mouth to turn upward, allowing me to forget about all the anxiety that plagued me at the moment.
Everyone in the lunch room looked over at the very odd image, making me feel self-conscious again, but I was too close to ground zero so I just decided to keep my eyes on them and ignore the rest, at first landing on Mirio who just wouldn't let up, and funny enough tried to be more enthusiastic; as if it were a competition.
Then…I drifted to Nejire, her long blue hair bouncing up and down bangs tapping her forehead, eyes closed to allow for the widest smile she could even muster; if the light hit her pearly whites they'd shine just as bright as she always did, bright enough to make me forget all the anxiety and fear that I held in me daily.
Always drawing me in with how blissful it felt to just see her give it her all, to see her speak with such undeniable passion and wonder with every syllable she uttered, the wide eyed innocent curiosity made her so adorable and sweet, honestly making her out to be almost fairy-like in my eyes.
These last few years were heavenly, in a way I couldnt put into words, at least outwardly, but Mirio could always tell what I wanted to say, even in that moment he could read me like a book, stopping his chant as Hado kept going, noticing the loving gaze I shot her way, and smiling at it like it was a present.
I eventually caught him doing this, and quickly looked back down to my food.
Soon after, Nejire stopped her squeals.
"*Whew* saying 'yay' for that long really burns out your throat," she giggled in between infrequent panting, "Im gonna go get some water, you guys need anything?"
"No," we both replied, albeit in different inflections.
"Alrighty then, be right back" she got up from her chair, but stopped before she walked past me to the cafeteria line, "Oh, and Amajiki."
"Hm," I looked up from my lunch trying to mellow out.
"It's okay if you don't want me to call you by your first name, gossip can be the worst sometimes ya know?"
"Uh-u-uh huh."
"Especially dating gossip, did you know that there was this one kid who got so embarrassed about it that he ran off campus!?"
"N-n-no I didn't," ...I swear it wasn't me.
"It's really crazy, they had to tackle him and everything! I'll have to tell you about it when we study at your house again."
"O-O-Okay, l-looking forward to it."
"Yay, anyway be right back!"
"See ya then," Mirio waved her off, Hado doing the same as I looked over my shoulder at her, staring longingly.
I wouldn't know this until much later in my life, but under her breath Nejire uttered something to herself, something that would've, and eventually did, make my heart stop.
She said, "I dunno…dating you doesn't sound all that embarrassing to me."
...
If you couldn't tell, I'm smiling, happens every time I remember that part.
...
Back to the present, or past…you know what I mean.
"S-see ya…N-nejire."
"You know you're gonna have to tell her eventually."
"What," I turned back around, seeing Mirio's smug smile while propping his cheek with his fist.
"You have to say something, she's gonna pick up on it at some point (if she hasn't already) and it may be too late then."
"W-wh-what are you talking about Mirio?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
"I don't."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Oh shoot, my mistake sorry."
"It's...no problem?"
"Well in that case ill be less subtle," and boy was he was not subtle at all, "You're in love with Nejire."
"What," guess my reaction, you'll probably get it right first try.
"You sure do like saying 'what' a lot."
"Can you blame me, when you just dropped that bomb in my lap."
"Oh sorry, I'll build up to it better next time."
"Thank you-wait wait minute no, no I don't love Nejire."
"Yes you do, dude you smile and look at her almost every day."
"W-well she's my friend."
"I am to, and you don't smile at me like that."
"There's plenty of ways to smile at someone."
"There are: you can do it smugly, do it because you're about to laugh, you can do it when having fun, about to pull a prank, when you haven't seen them because you went on vacation-"
"S-see."
"And in your case, you can smile when you're in love."
"I-I am n-n-not."
"Really now?"
"Y-Y-Yes!"
"Okay, if you honestly believe that, do one thing for me."
"That being?"
"Look me, in the eye, and tell me you're not in love with Hado."
"Wh-what?" What counter now up to thirty nine.
"Yep, do that, and ill believe you."
"Really, thats all?"
"Uh huh, cross my heart, and hope I'm right."
"You aren't."
"I am."
"No."
"Prove it."
"O-Okay then," I took in a long, deep breath, "I-I-I..."
Memories filled my head when I tried to speak.
The time she stood up for me and stuck by my side throughout the field trip where we met, times spent playing and laughing together at Mirio's house on weekends, studying physics together when we both got stumped on lesson fifteen. Spending hours on what hero names we wanted to pick before we got to high school, the time where we walked back from a movie and I saw the stars shine in her oceanic eyes and my heart started beating fast, and...each and every time she gave me that warm, cheerful, and perfect smile, that never, ever failed to capture me.
...
Obviously, I couldn't lie.
"I love Nejire."
"Haha, knew it!"
"Sh-shut up man, before someone hears you."
"Oops! Y-yeah, better not draw attention to us."
"That'd be horrific," when is it not?
"In your case anyway."
"I don't think most people want to shout their romantic feelings from the rooftops."
"You have a point," he scratched the back of his head, "Sooooooo now that youve admitted it, when are you gonna tell her?"
"I-I don't know."
"Well we're about to move onto high school and she's talked about entering the beauty pageant they hold every year for ages now."
"Believe me I know."
She was almost never not excited to talk about it, always going on about how wonderful it would be to win the contest, picturing herself with a bouquet of roses and a tiara as she took first place in front of the roaring crowd.
"What makes it harder, is she'll win by a landslide."
"You think so?"
"I know so," I actually said that with confidence, taking us both back a little, nevertheless he flashed a grin.
"Then, why don't you tell her that?"
"Y-you know why."
"One hundred percent, but I want to hear the reason from you."
"…"
"Go on don't be nervous, what happens at the table, stays at the table."
"…" I broke my elongated silence with a heavy sigh, feeling that same self deprecating feeling creep up my skin once again.
"Hmmmmm?"
"It's…because, she deserves someone better."
"Oh don't say that."
"Its true..."
"You're an incredible guy Tamaki!"
"Mirio I'm serious."
"So am I."
"You say that but look at me, I'm a shy, awkward, nervous, and a timid mess, I can barely use my quirk without wanting to crawl into a hole and die, I can't talk to anyone without feeling like they're staring daggers at me, and I'm not even close to being at the same level of optimism that either of you are at, I'm not bubbly, I'm not cheerful, and I'm certainly not the kind of perfection that she needs to both love her and lift her up when she needs it, I'm not incredible, YOU are incredible, PRO'S are incredible, NEJIRE…is beyond incredible, and I'm just me…plain, old, below average me."
"Tamaki...don't be so hard yourself."
"Easier said than done."
"Yeah it is, but it's true unlike everything you just said, she'd be lucky to have you, you'd make her the happiest girl in the world if you did."
"You say that but-"
"I KNOW that, she knows that, all we're waiting on is for you to believe it and know it to."
"B-But..."
"I know its not easy for you to accept yourself, you've been that way way ever since we met, but that doesnt mean you have to keep believing yourself to be worse than you actually are. Everybody screws up, even pro's, even me, and even her, we all have our insecurities and things we wish were different about ourselves and the world around us, but what makes someone great is to keep going despite all that, and in my personal opinion, that makes you one of best guys out there."
...And there he goes again, making me believe in myself.
The same way he always did.
"...Mirio."
"Yeah?"
"You, really are an amazing friend."
"Takes one to know one," he gave me a thumbs up, I did to, but my thumb was shaking a lot more…maybe because I didn't eat that much, I gotta stop getting off track before you lose interest in the story.
"Soooooooooo?"
"…I'll tell her, when I'm ready okay? If she even wants to hear it that is."
"Hear what," Nejire leaned close to my face from behind, having returned from getting her bottle of water, now unknowingly making my face almost melt from the heat rushing to it.
"U-u-uu-u-u-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
"Here we go again," she turned to Mirio, "Amajiki whisperer, translate!"
"Oh, we were just talking about you and how Tamaki loves-"
I threw my hands into the air wildly, before putting my finger to my mouth, shaking my head left to right, thankfully he got the message.
"Looooooooooovvvveeessssss," he drew out the phrase, his eyes shifting back and forth from mine to hers.
"Loves what?"
"Loves uh…thhhhheeeeeee idea of you calling him by his first name!"
At least he tried.
Nejire gasped loud enough to ring throughout every corner of the room, stars in her eyes so bright that they could blind you if you stared too long, "HE DOES!?"
"He does, riiiiight Tamaki, unless there's something else you wanna say?"
"N-n-no that's all we talked about, nothing else at all, I'm terrible at conversation you know."
"Oh please you aren't that bad, and YYAAAAAAAAAY I GET TO CALL YOU TAMAKI NOW," she squealed again, before wrapping her arms around my head and snuggling it in a hug, making my now burning face feel like magma, somehow reaching heights unprecedented by any single person on earth, and got even worse when she started nuzzling her cheek against my scalp, sure for a boy with a crush it was cloud nine, but for Mr. Chicken Legs it was an embarrassing yet pleasant nightmare, "Hahahahaha you've really come a long way shy kitten!"
"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-II-II-I don't think I h-h-h-h-h-have."
"I'd say you have," Mirio laughed, the loveable jerk knowing what he was doing.
"Yeah same!"
"Y-y-y-y-y-you t-t-t-two are gonna k-k-k-k-kill me."
"You're just being too negative," Nejire stopped nuzzling, releasing me from her grip as she backed up a little to look at me, I tried to look back, but for the first time, I couldn't, cursing myself for not being able to look into her beautiful baby blue iris again.
"I am too negative…"
"You gotta stop berating yourself Tamaki," great now I was almost swooning by hearing her say my name, another subtle way of hiding my feelings, hurrrraaaaayyyyyyy.
"I agree."
"I know you agree Mirio…."
"Hehehe."
"Ooo hey Tamaki I wanna ask."
"Wh-wh-what N-….N-…Nejire?"
"Can you help me pick out dresses whenever I enter the pageant at U-A? I would do it myself but I wanna make myself pop and being able to bounce off somebody helps me make sure I look the best that I can!"
"U-u-u-u-uh."
"He's saying he'd love to pick out dresses with you," I wanna kill…and hug Mirio after that.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay," and right back to hugging me.
Nejire's hugs: embarrassing…but pleasant.
Yet no matter what, they always made me happy.
Author's Note: Hope you guys enjoyed it!
Be safe, be good, and have a happy holiday season.
Didn't really have much to say unlike usual, but I'm also really tired and hungry...
Imma...imma just go eat now.
Feel free to leave a review and see ya in the next one!
