Dinners were relatively quiet between the young couple. What first seemed a bit awkward at the start, slowly grew into a comfortable and cordial companionship. They always ate together in silence, both lost in thought yet each grateful for the other's presence in the room, grateful for the sound of someone else breathing, walking, eating, living. Just the simple reminder that they were no longer totally alone.
Once he was done with his dinner, Enjolras would usually head to his study to finish his work while Cosette retired to the library nearby to catch up on her reading. Once the sun set and the hours grew late, Cosette would enter his study to remind Enjolras to go to sleep. He often lost track of the time and, if not for her reminders, would continue working into the early morning.
Eventually, he would start having her proofread his essays for him, knowing how much she liked to read. Cosette turned out to be a significant help, correcting his work or pointing out certain inconsistencies and flaws in his writing. As she asked for clarifications on certain topics, he slowly began to open up about his beliefs, ideas about freedom and justice spilling out of his mouth as easily as they did a year ago. Though hesitant in the beginning, Enjolras began to value her input and opinions over time. And so was their schedule for the first few months of their marriage.
Steady, steady, steady
Your steady touch I love so much I'm sleepless
Oh God, oh God, oh God
God I'm only human and I'm helpless
He was so busy with his work one night that he didn't hear Cosette enter his study, didn't feel her approach him from behind and place her hands on his shoulders, peeking over his head to see what he was working on. It was only when she started massaging his back that he suddenly snapped out of his daze. He furrowed his brows as he felt her deft hands kneading his muscles, adding pressure to his shoulders and neck, her thumbs creating circles, fingers digging into his skin.
Being around Cosette, who was much more comfortable with physical contact than anyone else he knew, made him realize how unused to it he was. Growing up, physical touch was NOT the way his parents showed him affection and care. Occasionally he'd get a few words of praise or affirmation here or there, but hugs, kisses, or anything of the sort were completely foreign to him. He remembered Courfeyrac and the way he liked to slap people on the shoulder when he greeted them or Grantaire, who was always looking to wrestle someone once he had a few drinks in him. Feuilly too would swing his arm around Enjolras' shoulder when they were having a conversation and each time, the young leader had to suppress his discomfort and bear it. Otherwise, the boys would make fun of him for being such a stickler. He knew what they called him when they thought he wasn't listening. The Chief, a conservative, a statue of marble… He didn't really want anymore nicknames added on to the list.
Cosette certainly had a way about her, occasionally brushing his shoulder as she passed by or placing a hand on his arm when she was talking to him, the way she'd reach up to fix his collar before he'd leave on a short trip... It all seemed so natural to her and he still had a hard time getting used to it, each touch jolting and strange. But this time, it felt different. This was not a usual thing for her to do.
"Cosette...darling." He spoke, voice rough from disuse. "What...what are you doing?" She added more pressure, fingers sliding down his back.
"You're incredibly tense." She said seriously. "You've been working too hard, it's been stressing you out." There was only innocence and sweetness in her voice as her hands shaped and formed him like soft clay. He couldn't comprehend the unfamiliar feelings coursing through him, couldn't tell if it was discomfort or something else… Though he'd never admit or even acknowledge it, somewhere deep inside, he felt pleasure at her touch, something relaxing about the patterns she kneaded into his skin.
His quill slipped out of his fingers and he couldn't move a muscle to pick it up, everything within him turned to liquid. He was suddenly acutely aware of the silence in the room, the only sound being Cosette's soft, steady breathing behind him. What sort of spell have you cast over me...
Her hands changed their course, fingers sliding up the nape of his neck, into his hair. A panic gripped his heart and without thinking, he reached behind him and caught her wrist, stopping her. There was a pause as he swallowed and tried to think of an explanation for his action.
"You should go." His voice was deeper than she'd ever heard it, quiet and firm. "I have a lot of work to finish and you're presence is…" He swallowed again as Cosette slid her other hand back down, thumb ghosting over the soft skin behind his ear and he could do nothing to stop the shiver running down his spine.
"A distraction?" She muttered under her breath, finishing the sentence for him. He cleared his throat.
"Yes."
"Okay, I'll go." She seceded, but stayed where she was. He wondered why she wasn't leaving when he realized he still had her wrist in a tight grip. He unclenched his hand and let her go, watching as she exited the room, feeling more tense than when she came in.
