South Park: The PC Pandemic Skankhunt Special
I don't own South Park. Trey Parker and Matt Stone do.
Date: September 25 2021
It was one fine sunny afternoon at Tegridy Farms. It had been two months since the Coronavirus Pandemic had ended and things were slowly returning to normal. Places were. reopening. People were gathered in several areas enacting Mask Burnings and people were hugging and Hi-fiving wherever they went. Stan Marsh walked into the house in a very excited mood. He noticed a small black cat sitting by the barn but it ignored it in favor of his excitement.
"Hi mom! I'm home!" he cried.
Sharon Marsh looked up from her magazine and said. "Hi sweetie how was school?"
"It was awesome!" he cried. "Butters showed everyone his new bear from Build A Bear. It was so cute and he was so happy and I'm so happy!"
"Well I'm glad that things around here are returning to normal." Sharon smiled. "I just got a call from my brother Jimbo and he and Ned are going to throw a 'Post-Pandemic' party next week. I'm sure all your friends are going to be there even that girl Wendy."
Wendy Just thinking of her made Stan throw up.
"Hey Family!" Randy Marsh cried as he raced inside holding a giant jar of money. "I just got $10,000 off of the Post-Pandemic Special." He noticed Stan and Sharon talking about Jimbo and said. "What's this I hear about someone thinking about going to some Fat Alcoholic's party instead of celebrating Tegridy's Official Post-Pandemic Extravaganza?"
Sharon looked up and said "Randy, Jimbo is my brother, and it was very nice of him to invite us to his party after everything. Maybe you could support him by bringing some of your Marijuana to his party."
Randy looked offended "I am not! bringing any of my hard earned Tegridy to that alcoholic's party. This is for me and my special party! Tegridy is the best things that's happened to all of us and there is nothing that will change that!"
Suddenly Shelly Marsh's voice came from the TV room. "Hey guys, you gotta come and look!" Randy, Stan and Sharon all got up and ran to where she was.
The TV was in static making static noise.
The noise was heard all over the house Sharon ran upstairs and came back down saying. "It's on every electronic device," she whimpered. "Even the phones, and computers."
Suddenly the screen flashed to life and funky Chinese music began to play in the background as it showed the image of the Chinese International Airport.
Randy walked into the Chinese airport
"Hello" he said to the TSA as he allowed them to inspect his suitcase.
They opened it to find his Marijuana Stack and called in the police to arrest him.
He was sent to Jail before eventually being brought before the court.
"You could use some Tegridy, China!" he shouted.
"Here's to China, haha!" Cheered Mickey Mouse who smoked some Marijuana with Randy next to him.
"To China!" Randy Cheered.
Then the two of them were hanging out at a restaurant
"You sure know how to party Mick!" Randy laughed.
"Oh my god, look at her!" screamed Mickey as he pointed across the room to a small female bat eating at the table.
"She is so hot!"
"I think that's a bat." Randy said questionably.
"Yeah! It's a mouse with wings!" Mickey cheered.
The scene switched to outside the restaurant as a drunk Randy staggered through the night streets looking for Mickey.
He then found him in a nearby alleyway wrestling with the bat and whooping loudly.
"Hey Randy, you gotta try this, take a turn!"
Randy then took off all of his clothes and had sex with the bat in one hand while smoking marijuana in the other. He was howling with laughter.
The screen flashed white and went to another event
Mickey and Randy were both hungover, and laying back inside a Taxi.
Mickey chuckled. "Dude, I still can't believe you fucked that bat!"
"Okay, Okay, shh!" Randy shushed the mouse loudly as if he didn't want that to be brought up.
"You really let her have it, oh boy!"
"OKAY! I don't want to think about it, that's all."
"I'm just impressed that's all, I mean if you can handle a bat then..."
Randy looked at Mickey, "Then...what?"
"You ever have sex with a pangolin?" asked Mickey.
"The fuck is a pangolin?" responded Randy.
Mickey got up and told the driver driver to pull over.
The Scene switched to a hotel room where Randy was once again naked and was wrestling the Pangolin in both hands howling with laughter. while Mickey danced around the room in a drunk manner.
The screen then flashed white once more to reveal one final scene: One final nail in the coffin for Randy.
Randy was in the hospital with Jimbo. He pulled out a jar of Pandemic Special and took out a strand of weed and walked to another area of the room.
He pulled his pants down and had the strand over his Fireman.
He started to make weird noises as the camera zoomed in onto his upper lip.
Though nobody could see what he was doing they knew exactly what it was.
He walked back over to Jimbo, took the rolled up strand out, lit it and forced it into Jimbo's mouth until he smoked it all down.
The scene changed to inside the Guest room in Tegridy Farms where Sharon and Randy walked over to the bed-bound Jimbo
Sharon spoke "Last Night his fever came back, and them this thing appeared on his face." she pulled down the Mask revealing the mustache similar to Randy's.
"Pandemic...Special" Jimbo wheezed weakly.
The the next scene flashed to the hospital with Gerald Broflovski talking to the doctor.
"Have you put anything toxic in your body?" the doctor asked. "Any drugs or alcohol."
"Well, I've enjoyed a little of the Pandemic Special." was the response.
Then the scene switched to the patients outside the room all with Pandemic Staches.
Then the final scene showed Sharon in bed with a her own mustache before the screen finally flashed white and the TV turned off.
