South Park: The PC Pandemic Skankhunt Special
(Since I watched the Vaccination Special: I had to make some changes including removing Garrison as President in a future chapter and replacing the deceased Mrs. Nelson with him. May she rest in peace along with Ms. Choksondik).
I don't own South Park. Trey Parker and Matt Stone do.
Stan didn't know how long he was in his room for, about 2 hours or more. His alarm clock wasn't plugged in so he couldn't tell. To be honest, a part of him was excited that he was back to his old life, but there was another empty feeling inside, he missed his father. He wanted them to go back home-together-but now that would never be possible.
Getting up he decided to go downstairs to get something to eat from the snack bag they had brought for the car ride home. He opened the door and walked downstairs. To his surprise, he could see all of the appliances were divided in half. The Table, the china cabinet, every piece of furniture they had brought to the farm and now brought back was halved.
Sharon was sitting on the half table in a strangely calm manner.
"Mom?" asked Stan. "Why is everything in half?"
Sharon turned around, "Oh, Stanley, your father and I agreed on half of everything. Half of all the belongings."
"What?" Stan cried.
"Oh, don't worry, it doesn't include any of your personal stuff, thank heavens. But we're going to probably have to adjust to this for a while until Mommy can get some money to buy some new stuff."
"Mom?" asked Stan, "Are you and dad getting divorced again?"
"No, honey." replied Sharon. "We just need some time apart from each other, just need to be aWAY from that no good, SELFISH, PIECE OF SHIT!" she softened up. "Anyways, let's go order some Pizza, it'll be nice to eat something that's not marijuana related for a change right?"
Stan gave her a small smile, but he didn't feel any better.
"Anyways, I'm going to head upstairs and put you and Shelly's beds back in place. You keep an eye out for the Pizza." And with that she kissed Stan and walked upstairs to ask Shelly to help carry their bed frames upstairs.
Stan walked towards the window and looked outside at the dark, nighttime street, but he wasn't looking for the Pizza, he was looking out in the distance...back towards the direction of Tegridy Farms, where his dad was...all alone.
Randy was depressed.
It had been 6 hours since his family had left him and he just felt alone.
Sure, they were justified to be angry with him because he started the COVID-19 Pandemic, but still, they shouldn't have left him alone like this.
He had been drowning his sorrows in over 10 packages of Marujiana, yet he still wasn't feeling any better.
He was then brought to reality when he heard a knock on the door.
He got up and walked slowly over to it. Part of him wanted to believe it was Sharon and the kids but he know it would take more than 6 hours for her to calm down, especially if she was a total bitch about things.
He opened the door and found Gerald Broflovski standing there. He had a suitcase in one hand.
"H-hey Randy," he signed.
"Hi, Gerald." Randy responded in a surprised tone.
"Can I stay here for a while?" he asked.
"S-sure." was the Response.
Gerald threw his suitcase to the side and joined Randy on the half couch.
He grabbed some weirdly colored wine and drank as he spoke with Randy.
"So what happened?" Randy asked him. "I got the broadcast that you were skankhunt42 but what are you doing here"
"Sheila threw me out," responded Gerald dolefully. "She didn't get that I was doing it because it was funny."
"How is harassing innocent women online funny?" Randy asked.
"Because it's NOT fucking funny!" Gerald responded. "Gall!"
"Hey that's my line!" Randy complained.
Gerald ignored this and continued on with the conversation.
"So you started the COVID-19 Pandemic huh?"
"Yup," sighed Randy. "I went to China, got high and fucked a bat AND a pangolin. When the broadcast came out Sharon took the kids and left. Now I'm left to manage this farm all by myself because they don't believe in goddamn Tegridy for Shit's sake!"
"Well, maybe forcing them onto a Marijuana farm and ignoring their problems was a bad idea." responded Gerald.
Randy sighed. "And maybe finding something better to do than harass females online should have been a good idea."
The two of them smiled at each other and continued to drink through the night.
Monday at South Park Elementary
Stan and Kyle walked through the doors of the school. There they could see lots of boys and girls talking to each other and hugging it out. Most of them being recognized as couples that broke up during the gender war. Others were pulling off their facial masks and even throwing them out in the trash or even throwing them at old COVID-19 signs.
However most people stopped hugging and turned to the two boys upon seeing them and their happy expressions turned into angry ones. They started to boo the duo, by throwing paper balls, facial masks, pictures of Skankhunt's photoshopped females and even vocal insults at them.
"Boo!"
"Assholes!"
"Skankhunt42 Jr! and COVID maker Jr!"
"Does your dad create every disease the world has ever faced?"
"Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep because of what your father had done!?"
"Your dumb dad ruined our relationship!"
Stan and Kyle stayed close to each other trying to ignore the insults. However they were face to face with the two people they had least expected to see angry with them.
...
It was Cartman and Kenny.
For a while the four boys stood apart from one another. Stan and Kyle with nervous looks on their faces and Cartman and Kenny with angry ones.
"Uh...hey guys." started Stan.
"How are you guys doing?" asked Kyle.
"Pretty good thank you but not pretty good because of you!" sneered Cartman.
"(Yeah, fuck you!)" responded Kenny.
"Look guys," Stan said. "About what our dads did, we know it was really bad but-"
"Really BAD!?" screamed Cartman. "Your dumb dad cost me two Christmases and a birthday worth of stuff, Kahl! That is a living hell!"
"But at least it got you together with Heidi...for a while." Offered Stan.
"Fuck that!" shouted Cartman, "We broke up! And now everyone else is back together but us!"
"(Not to mention all the times I died from COVID because of the pandemic your dad created, Stan!)" Kenny screamed.
"Wait, you were tested positive for COVID?" cried Stan. "And so many times too!?"
"(No! I died from it like 15 times and one time from getting shot by the police, it hurt like hell!)"
"Look!" pleaded Kyle, "I know it was really bad but that's all in the past, so can we all just go sit down together?"
"Sorry guys, but we're still doing the 3,3,2 regulation so I have Kenny by myself, plus we're already doing it with your replacements." was Cartman's stern response.
"Our what!?" cried Stan.
"(We held an audition last night to find out the two new boys we're going to hang out with and the results were that our new friends are going to be Tweek and Butters.)" was Kenny's reply.
As if on cue Tweek and Butters walked up Behind Cartman and Kenny.
"H-Hey guys!" Tweek screamed.
"Hi fellers!" Butters cheered.
They turned to Stan and Kyle and their faces turned dark.
"Oh...you two." Butters sighed.
"Y-you, MOTHERFUCKER!" Tweek screeched at Stan. "I've been confined to my house for SO LONG I will gut-GUT YOU!"
"Woah, woah, chill it Tweek." Cartman soothed. "They're not worth it."
Tweek seethed but calmed down. The four boys walked off leaving Stan and Kyle behind.
All through the school day people would just sneer or glare at Stan and Kyle, they could hear whispers or straight out insults throughout the day. In class, all of the students had moved their desks away from Stan and Kyle and Mr. Garrison (who was more forgiving) thought they were still doing social distancing. (They were, except instead of avoiding COVID, they were avoiding the two children of the man who caused COVID and the man who caused their school to be divided).
Stan looked around and couldn't see Wendy anywhere. It wasn't enough that they had broken up during the Gender War but now that she likely knew that his father started the COVID-19 Pandemic, she would never want to see or speak to him again.
He started to resent his father now. He never cared for him at all, and only seemed to care about his stupid dreams. But this time he had cost his own son so much. His life, his friends, even his girlfriend. Even though he had some of that stuff back, it was still never going to be the same.
At lunch they took in the surroundings most boys and girls were sitting together, well they did notice Emily Marx sitting alone without her boyfriend: Jason White who had died some time earlier. She never got over his death and now that the Gender War was over with couples reconciling, she was left alone, the tears had started again. So they guessed they did have a hand in her loss (Gerald's trolling that lead to the breakup and Randy's marijuana farm which lead to his own eventual arrest by the police. who accidentally ran Jason over).
Most couples were sitting together close to each other, but were all apart, in an attempt to avoid the two kids.
At the Main table Cartman, Kenny, Tweek, Butters, Craig, Clyde, Token and Jimmy were all speaking to each other.
"So how's life going for you guys?" Cartman asked them.
"It's been going great!" Butters smiled. "I finally got my bear from Build-A-Bear, and even better I got a call from Charlotte, she's been in the hospital for 6 months after Canada got nuked back in 2017 and she said she was ready to restart our relationship again! My life is getting back in track fellas! I guess not all girls are lying snakes in the grass after all."
"I'm taking Lisa Berger out to the movies on Saturday." said Clyde.
"Nichole and I arranged to go Ice Skating tonight." said Token
"M-Millie and I are going to wa-watch The Season Premiere of Cob-Cobra Kai tomorrow." said Jimmy
"(I'm going to take Tammy to the Hockey Game next week. She's wanted to hang out with me for a while now.)" said Kenny.
"Tweek and I are going to play Persona 5 Strikers at my house." Said Craig, "What about you Cartman?"
Cartman sighed. "I'm going to eat snacky smores and yell at mom and Ms. Kitty,"
"I th-thought you were going to do something with Heidi!" Screeched Tweek.
"Dumbass, we broke up remember?" Cartman growled. "Besides, it's not like she'd be doing anything with me sooner." He looked at the table where she usually sat but to his surprise she wasn't there. Also, he didn't see Wendy sitting next to Bebe. Come to think of it...he hadn't seen Wendy all day. Was she so angry with Stan that she decided to ditch 'skewl'? And usually Heidi would avoid or not even acknowledge him since their final breakup but even she would never ditch school as well.
Where in the world were they?
Stan and Kyle sat together in the far end of the cafeteria, everyone else was sitting far away from them.
They never felt so lonely in their entire lives. Sure they had each other but it still felt empty.
"Stan, what are we going to do about this?" asked Kyle. "I can't take this discrimination anymore."
"Well obviously Jacking it in San Diego isn't gonna work." Stan responded. "Both broadcasts were worldwide, everyone knows the truth."
"I know," sighed Kyle. "I wanted things to go back to normal but not like this!"
"And I wanted to go back to my life in town away from the farm, but not like this either!" cried Stan. "We were supposed to go home together!"
"And now everyone in school is against us!" cried Kyle. "They should be blaming our fathers not us!"
Just then they heard two sets of footsteps approaching their table.
"Hey, can we sit here?" came a voice from one of the students.
