I don't own South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone do.

Kyle and the Phantom Thieves scaled through the caves.

Kyle followed them as they took a certain path. They climbed up a rocky ledge, across a waterfall and over an abyss.

He was getting tired, and a bit nervous but this was all so save his father from himself.

They finally stopped in front of two giant stone gates.

The symbol on the front had the album cover of Boston. The same band his dad usually listened to while he was trolling.

"This is it." said Ren.

"Once we change his heart, then he will stop this bullshit." grinned Ryuji.

"Let's...just do this already." sighed Kyle. "I just want my family back."

The stone doors opened and they entered the treasure room.

To Kyle's surprise, it was his father's study. Or rather a stone/cavelike version of it.

In the back of it was a computer, next to it was a distinct glass of wine.

And not so surprisingly, on the computer typing away was Kyle's dad...or rather his shadow.

They could hear him muttering things like "Yeah, in your face you little bitch." or "Fuck you, you ass-whore!" "Burn in a grill, shitty Skank!"

"Dad?" Kyle spoke up in surprise.

Gerald turned around to reveal his appearance.

He wasn't even human!

He was a troll with white fur, Orange hair around his facial follicles, and the top of his fur. The whites of his eyes were yellow with blue irises and red pupils. He wore a dark yellow waistcoat with a blue bowtie.

"Oh, hello Kyle." smiled Gerald as he spoke in a distorted voice. "How nice of you to drop in."

"Dad..." Kyle started. "I'm here with the Phantom Thieves."

"Yeah I See." Gerald rolled his eyes. "I got your calling card earlier, you think you can come in here and fuck me up?"

"We're not trying to fuck you up!" Kyle pleaded. "We're just going to take your treasure and change your heart. We won't fight you."

"Well that's what you're kinda doing!" sneered Gerald. "You're coming in here to make me stop my trolling. Well not a fucking chance!"

"Dad, what you've done is horrible!" Kyle shouted.

"NO, WHAT I'VE DONE IS FUCKING FUNNY, KYLE!" Gerald retorted. "I'M HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR AND LAUGHING!"

"Harassing innocent women online, and causing gender wars is your way of humor?" scolded Yusuke.

"Because it's so not funny! I'm surprised, that you people are teenagers yet you don't understand anything!"

"Dad," Kyle pleased. "What you've done hasn't just affected women, It's affected my friends as well. They've been at each others throats for a long time, even after you've stopped. It's driven Heidi Turner into the hands of a creep, it's gotten Canada nuked, it's allowed a madman to run as our president for four fucking years, that is not right!"

"Driven Heidi Turner into the hands of a creep?" Gerald sneered. "Well that and Canada getting nuked has been all on you!"

"M-me?" Kyle said.

"Yeah, Heidi Turner only went to Eric Cartman because you allowed her to. You were the one who gave President Garrison the incentive to nuke Canada. So don't blame those two events on me. Those were all YOU!"

Kyle wanted to retort but his words were caught in his throat. His father was right. Heidi only stayed with Cartman because of the Gender War still being in effect even after the rise of the New Internet. Yet if he had told the truth to everyone one he learned the truth, then the Gender War might have ended earlier and Heidi would have been comfortable leaving Cartman even before he approached her. Her girlfriends wouldn't have jabbed at her that much for what she did, she wouldn't have returned to Cartman and became his female image, Kyle wouldn't have lead his crusade against Canada, Canada wouldn't have gone nuked and maybe Ike wouldn't have been mad at him.

Kyle started to hang his head in shame after all that DID make sense.

Was everything that happened later on...his fault?


"Goro Akechi." breathed Heidi at her savior

"Yep, that's me." grinned the boy in the dark suit. Apparently his costume got an upgrade. It was now a mixture of the aspects of both his Robin Hood attire AND his Loki Attire.

"Crow Senpai!" Sumire ran forward to him. "You're alive!"

"Let's leave that discussion for another time shall we?" groaned Akechi nervously.

"It's great to have a new addition to the team." Zenkichi smiled.

"Ah, Detective Hasegawa." Akechi turned and have the older cop a small smirk. "I have heard such tales of you. Shame of what happened to you and your kid though."

"Akane is doing better, thank you very much." Zenkichi replied.

"Friends." Sophia piped up, "I do not mean to interrupt but we are wasting valuable time. We must change Eric's heart soon."

"The location of his treasure is in the Statue on top of the palace. But we'll never reach it at this rate." Heidi lamented.

At that moment they were cut off by the sounds of foot steps.

"A guard!" cried Sumire.

"Quickly, in here!" Akechi ordered as he pointed to an open door.

The five of them ran inside and closed the door, carefully listening as the guard passed by.

"Phew" we made it sighed Zenkichi.

Heidi looked up and saw that they were in some sort of TV room. Around then were stacks and stacks of DVD cartridges and in front of them, covering up an entire wall was a giant screen.

She ran over to examine some of the DVDs and picked up a case.

It read 9/25/2016.

Her pulse froze.

They were memories.

Maybe if she could play these videos, she could figure out what happened to Eric and why he changed.

She turned to the others and said.

"Is it OK if I just look at something here, trust me it can help us with Eric and how we can change his heart.

"Sure," smiled Sumire.

"Fine," growled Akechi.

"I guess we've got some time." assured Zenkichi. "Sophie, can you analyze another route to the treasure while we're stuck in here?"

"Sure thing Wolf." said Sophia as she pulled out the phone map and began to analyze another route from the room they were in.

"All right, Eric." Heidi muttered as she searched through the memories. "Let's find out why you stopped liking me all of a sudden."


Back in South Park the crows was fleeing, running around or fighting back against Alejandro.

He was throwing grenades, gas bombs and knives every where.

Emily, The Whites, Tammy, Nichole and Esther ran behind a nearby car for shelter.

"What the fuck is going on?" screamed Emily to Angel.

"We kinda adopted this boy from the ICE shelter to fill the gap left by Jason," she explained. "But he went evil and ran away from us."

"That is so messed up!" cried Tammy. "We need help...where are the cops!"

"I think they were doing a Hula session a few hours ago!" Nichole replied. "So they're no help."

"Well, Who can we call for help?" Emily wailed.

Nichole sighed and pulled out her phone and dialed a number.


Classi was driving through the streets in South Park in her Classimobile.

She preferred her name spelt with an "I" at the end instead of a "Y" and with a little dick hanging off the "C" that bent around and fucked the "L" from the ASS.

Her phone went off and she answered it. "Hello?"

"Miss Classi." said Nichole, "We've got a situation downtown. Mexican Joker is trying to kill us!"

"OH HELL NO!" Classi exclaimed. "HOLD ON TO YO' ASS, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!"

As Alejandro threw shards of glass at the people screaming "Muerte! Muerte! Muerte!" People cowered nervously behind doors while some shards got stabbed into others' body parts and they crumpled to the ground.

"Who was that you called?" Emily cried to Nichole.

"That was Classi!" Nichole cried out loud.

"Classi, the stripper?" Bob exclaimed.

"Yeah, my mom goes out to coffee with her!" Nichole exclaimed. "She sometimes picks me up from my cheerleading practice when she and dad are busy!"

"Wow...that's so messed up." groaned Esther. "That your parents hire a prostitute to pick you up from class."

"Yeah," said Tammy. "Mike and I had better production value on our Castlevania Cosplay!"

"At that moment, Classi drove up in the Classimobile straight towards Alejandro at blinding speed. But unfortunately for her the boy was crafty.

He grabbed a grenade and lobbed it into the passenger seat of the Classimobile.

"FUCK!" screamed Classi. She undid her seatbelt and flipped out of the car before it exploded into tiny bits.

Classi started at the wrecked remains of her car in grief before turning to Alejandro.

"Oh hell no, yo ass just fucked up my car!" she screamed. "Imma break you DICK OFF!"

She lunged at Alejandro at a raging speed but he responded by swinging his bat into her face slamming her against the wall, knocking her out.


For a while Kyle stood in front of his father, staring at the ground processing everything his father had said.

"I...I don't believe it." he whispered silently.

"Ya don't believe it." snarked Gerald. "You forget what I've said to you, you're supposed to just laugh and make fun of shit. You never had a sense of humor. You-"

"Stop that!" Haru cried. "You're making Kyle very uncomfortable."

"Really, because that's what he already is...always have been...and always will."

"You're heart of really twisted," Ren said in a low voice. "And it's ours to take."

"My heart is not twisted!" Gerald boomed. "I am doing funny things for this world and I'll prove it." He turned around and pressed a button on his computer and at that moment the Metaverse Phone flashed to reveal photos of Ann, Makoto, Futaba and Haru with wieners in their mouths.

The female members were clearly seething with anger and rage at Gerald.

Ryuji was holding back some snickers when Ann punched him in the face.

"You...sick...FUCK!" She screeched turning her attention back to Gerald.

"You are worse than vulgar." Haru shook her head.

"Yeah, double...no triple dickhole!" Futaba growled.

"I am going to rip the stuffing out of you!" Makoto screamed.

"Oh, but I'm not the one you want!" Gerald said defensively. "You've got the wrong guy...I'm just a pawn. He's the real Shadow!" he pointed to a space next to him as a shadow materialized.

Kyle's jaw dropped.

It was Ike.

"He's Skankhunt 42." Gerald said obviously faking nervousness. "He's the one who made me troll. You should take it out on him and-"

"Enough." came a low voice.

Everyone looked around expecting such a deep tone to come form someone like Ren or Yusuke, but to their surprise the sound came from Kyle.

"You...I can't believe this is how you treat us." Kyle seethed, "As jokes...toys...Trash! I never told anyone the truth because I was afraid of losing you...I let things go as they were under your mess because I still loved you. I realize now that all of it was a mistake. One that I will fix here and now!"

His head was lifted now, his eyes were purely determined as he stood in an offensive stance.

"Have you finally come to your senses?"

Kyle screamed as his eyes flashed yellow and he collapsed to the ground.

"Having been blinded by your own selfish intentions rather than the love for your family. You finally see the truth as it is. You've finally realized your own consequences from the matter."

Kyle clung both sides of his head as small tears of pain rolled down his cheeks.

"And now...you're going to finally make things right...and fix your mistakes."

"Yes..." Kyle said. "I'm going to fix what I've done."

"Then I'll gladly help you along. I am thou, thou art I. Show this rotten troll that you are willing to cross his bridge."

Kyle stood up and said in a loud voice.

"Come to me...HUMAN KITE!"

He flashed with blue energy which lit up the cave.

When it cleared Kyle was standing dressed in his Human Kite Attire.

He was glaring at his father.

"For too long I've stood by, remained grounded and let chaos run, but now it's time for me to fly out and rein in all the chaos starting with YOU!" He pointed at his father. "We will change your heart!"

Gerald lost all pretense of cowardice and narrows his eyes harshly at his son.
"Oh, so you think you can transform and scare me? Well guess what. I'll be the one scaring youUUUUUUU!" His form began to distort. He took on the similar form of Pennywise's final form from IT 2.

"Now...I'll show you SCARY!"


Heidi continued to read through the memories of her and Cartman until she stopped at one.

It was a memory of him and Kyle talking.

"Cartman," Kyle said "I did some research on the Danish Web site you've been helping out. You do realize that once TrollTrace is online, anybody can use it on anyone, right?"

"Yeah, to Catch Trolls." was Cartman's response.

"So somebody, like Heidi, could use it to see your entire Internet history. Everything you ever said and did on the Internet, even before you were together." replied Kyle.

Cartman actually looked a bit nervous but quickly responded with "Well, Heidi doesn't actually use the Internet. We've sworn off that stuff, so it's kewl."

"Right," said Kyle "But somebody-like me-could look up your entire Internet history, print it out, and give it to Heidi. I would imagine there's some things you've done or said on the Internet you wouldn't want Heidi to know about."

Cartman thought for a moment then his eyes widened in horror. The image then started to change like a tape rewinding as she saw various clips of other past events...including the scene where she showed him her vagina. Finally stopping to sometime before school had started back in 2016.

He was leaving a theater with his mother.

"Did you like the movie, hon?" Liane asked him.

"No, it sucked! I'm gonna send Butters an e-mail right now." He pulled out his phone and began to text Butters. "Dude, don't bother with new Ghostbusters. Totally not funny. Chicks ruined it." He then turned to his mother and growled. "Can we get ice cream now? I wanna get the taste of ass out of my mouth."

Heidi took the CD out and said to herself "So that explains why he was worried about me seeing his internet history."

"He hated the new Ghostbusters?" Sumire asked.

"No, because he thought women were not funny at the time. Yet when he was at school he claimed they were." Heidi replied. "But it's not like I would have cared, I knew that wasn't him anymore and just like me after I dumped him, I was trying to be a better person." She continued to rumage through them until she found "November 6-30" "This was when we went to SpaceEX to go to Mars...I guess he was trying to keep me from seeing his history that way. It was here that he changed." She eagerly placed it in and began to fas forward through the clips until she found one of him talking to Butters.

"What are you doing here calling my girlfriend funny? You better back off! You don't even know her, your just saying it! How do you even know she's funny?!" he sneered at Butters.

"Because you keep on telling everyone she is." was Butters' innocent response.

"Butters, Heidi is everything to me. If you take her, I swear to god..."

"Eric Eric, trust me!" Butters shouted "I want nothing to do with girlfriends! I know what girlfriends do; they make you feel happy like you never felt, then they crawl up inside of you and poop on your heart."

"What are you talking about?" Cartman asked.

"That's how it ends, Eric." Butters sighed "Girls get you to feel for them, make you think they're the best thing in the world, and then they leave, move on to the next thing; and you're left there crying, with your heart covered in poop."

"Not Heidi, she's different. She's really smart, and really funny." Cartman desperately cried.

"Sure buddy...sure" replied Butters.

Heidi narrowed her eyes as she continued to fast forward.

She was staring at the whiteboard in the SpaceEX station still trying to crack it. "Dude, I am so not getting this." she sighed. Unbeknowst to her, Cartman was behind her and he walked to Upper level walkway. Butters was leaning against the railing when he saw Cartman approach him.

The fat kid sighed, "I just don't understand it. She's always been really smart before. And hilarious."

Butters shook his head. "Don't feel bad about getting duped, Eric. Its happened to all of us." Cartman screamed at him. "Nobody's been duped! Stop suggesting that she's being manipulative. Why would she want to trick me?"

"The truth is girls hate us, Eric." Butters sighed. "They're sick of our shit. And one day, they plan to make us obsolete, stick us underground where we just get milked for our semen. Boys' only hope is to start over on Mars."

This seemed to provoke Eric as he turned around and yelled. "That's ridiculous. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Heidi is the smartest, funniest person I've ever met. I'm not being tricked. And I'll prove it to everybody!"

Heidi started to frown nervously as she was starting to suspect that Butters had something to do with this.

She continued to fast forward.

Back in the SpaceX:laboratory. Heidi continued to stares at a large white board filled with charts and equations, with Elon Musk and his staff observing. Cartman walks up to her from behind

Cartman walked up behind her and said nervously "Hey, babe. Uh, how's it going?"

Heidi Stared intently at white board, not paying attention to Cartman "I don't understand what any of these symbols mean, so in my head I'm trying to replace them with something I know to try and see patterns." she frowned.

Cartman Wiped his nose and said "Okay, cool. Uh, babe, you remember that funny thing you were saying about soup the other day. What was that again?"

Heidi continued to focus on thee board "And when I do that, I can see how everything lines up except for one thing." she stared at it intently.

Cartman was getting more desperate. "Do you-you remember that funny voice you did at McDonald's?" He asked "You were like "Could you-Could you hand me my water," or something. I can't-I can't remember."

Heidi didn't seem to focus in what he was saying. "These two don't line up, babe. The only things that are out of order."

"Or the time you said the thing about clouds and I was laughing so hard-What was that again?" he suggested.

Heidi turned to Elon Musk and his staff. "Excuse me." she said "Is it possible that the seventh line from the right and the third one up from the bottom left are out of sequence?"

"I'm sorry?" asked a SpaceX Employee

Heidi pointed to the board. "That stuff there. Its in the wrong place. It needs to come before that." as the employees reviewed their notes again.

Another SpaceX Worker parked up. "Wait a minute. She might be on to something here"

Cartman was panicking "Okay, okay, now could you just do the "my vagina" thing for them? Could you just say "my vagina"?"

Heidi still not listening turned to Elon Musk and exclaimed "They're out of sequence! I'll show you!" She rushed off with him leaving a hurt Eric Behind.

"What the fuck is going on?" he cried to himself.

Now Heidi herself was starting to worry. She knew what was going to happen next but she still wanted to see for herself.

Her thumb shaking over the remote, she pressed the fast forward button once more.

She was in the station talking to Elon Musk. She then looked over to where Cartman was across the room and waved. Cartman half-heartedly waved back. Eventually she waslked off with him oblivious to the glare in Cartman's eyes.

"Conniving, snakes-in-the-grass." He narrowed his eyes "All of them."

"Yep." said Butters who was standing next to him.

Heidi gasped in horror and heartbreak as she finally realized what caused Eric to change.

She dropped the remote not even listening to it clatter to the ground.

The screen flashed off leaving Heidi to face her frozen reflection in it.

"Butters." she whispered.