(A/N: A warning for mild gore (broken bones, blood), panic attacks, mentions of past neglect? And overall just questioning reality.

It mostly follows the manga at first when it comes to the conversations, but it diverges fairly quickly. Also if you've just watched the anime, you probably won't know what's going on. Please make sure you've read up to at least chapter 123, but be warned I may mention spoilers for chapters up to 215 in future updates/in the author's notes. I'll give you a heads up if I do, and I'll also make these notes in bold so you can skip past possible spoilers easily. Also, for anyone reading my other fic I've posted, it is not discontinued! I'll be updating it soon.

Anyway, sorry for rambling, enjoy!)

"They would never…say such things," Iruma panted, his breathing laboured as he looked down at his broken ankle. There was blood, and oh, hehe, that's what an ankle bone looks like, he thought distantly.

"None of them would ever…" he looked at Clara, who was bouncing along behind Azz-kun, prattling on about 'Iruma-chi's lies'. He wanted to reach out, but his arms were too heavy. He sniffled, watching his friends interact with Callego-sensei, his Grandpa and Opera-san. They looked so… so real. Real down to the slight twitch of Opera-san's ears. They looked happy, joyful in a way he hadn't seen before.

"Maybe it's because they finally got rid of you," a soft voice whispered.

Iruma-kun froze, the voice sounded familiar but… no, it was-

"K-Kirio-Senpai? Is that you?" He couldn't turn his head in order to see the demon that had knelt down on the dirt next to him, but he gulped when he felt delicate fingers card through his greasy hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. Iruma felt himself unwillingly relax.

"Heya Iruma-kun." Kirio giggled, "what are we doing here? I was watching a fight in the prison cafeteria a minute ago." He sighed, sounding slightly disappointed, "I guess I'll never see their desperate face." Iruma felt a hand carefully tilt his chin and turn his head in Kirio's direction, he shivered as a finger stroked his cheek, wiping away a tear, "but I suppose it's worth it if I get to see yours."

Kirio smiled as he pointed to the group that resided a little way away, "Look, it's Azu-kun and Clara-chan!" Kirio grinned, "should I call them over? We could get the old group back together."

("Stay away from me, human.")

"N-no." Kirio looked surprised, wanting Iruma to elaborate, "they- they're not real. It must b-be… I'm sure… this is an illusion!" Iruma looked at the group, clenching his fists, "I know it's an illusion, but my body… can't move. It's not because my leg hurts, all this time… I… I was fine with being alone." He took in a great gulp of air, pain shooting through his body, "Being left behind was normal for me. It wasn't much trouble and I could manage by myself. There's no point in despairing because it won't fill your stomach, and that's all I cared about." Kirio resumed running a hand through Iruma's hair, "But now I have a lot of important people, I have a warm and lovely home. But, if everyone were to leave me, and I was left alone again… these words that I've been holding back… I want to say them. I mustn't say them, but… but… I'm lonely."

His friends started walking further away, making their way around boulders and out of his line of sight, his body shook as great crocodile tears dripped onto the ground. He coughed on saliva and snot, "…Uuh… No. Please don't… leave me behind…"

Kirio smiled warmly, "Oh Iruma, this face, your face now. It's beautiful." Then he frowned, "you said they weren't real. Does that mean I'm an illusion as well? I certainly don't feel like one, and it would be weird if I'm the only real one in this situation, after all I'm in - or I was in - prison!" He laughed, "Iruma-kun, you know you can't blame all of your troubles on magic, right?"

"O-of course not! I'm not blaming all my troubles on magic!" Iruma gasped, grinding his teeth in agony as he adjusted his position for a better view of Kirio as they spoke.

"Just this one then?" Kirio grinned, eyes twinkling.

"No! N-no I'm not. I.. That's not t-true. I-"

"Shhh~" Kirio soothed. If Iruma didn't know any better, he would have said he sounded truly sympathetic, "It's fine to be selfish once in a while, to have the opportunity not to feel guilt over someone else's problems. You've never really had the opportunity to think about what you need." Kirio's grin was too sharp, "So, Iruma-kun, what do you want?"

"I- I don't know."

"There must be something. I know there's something."

"I- Just I-"

"Yes?"

"I just want my family back," he cried, "I want my Grandpa and Opera-san, and Azz-kun and Clara and- I w-want-" and he was gone, lost in great heaving sobs that racked his small frame. He lay there, in the shadows of mountainous rock formations, tears streaming until he could cry no more, and he fell into a fitful sleep. As Iruma tossed and turned, he was unaware that the illusions of his family, friends and one former friend, faded away along with his consciousness.