Author's Note:

Hello! Thanks for all your support so far. I've gotten some wonderful reviews and I want to say that they warm my heart. I'm happy that you guys have similar ideas to mine. I hope that I'm executing them well.

I just want to clarify that in this fic, Tokyo doesn't exist. Also, Robin is 18, and Starfire is 17. I always imagined that they'd be a year a part. This fic takes place a year after the end of the series. I also want to remind everyone that this fic contains sexual themes/situations, strong language, and lots of angst and drama.

This chapter is part one of a two-parter. I hope you enjoy!


"What's so funny?" He throws a jab at her side, but not too hard. She blocks it.

"Oh, nothing. Do not worry about it." She goes for his stomach, but he moves just in time.

"You laughing at my moves, Star?" She giggles breathlessly.

"I cannot laugh, dear Robin?" He inches closer to her, nearly nose to nose.

"You can laugh when you got a real reason to." They walk in a circle, unbreaking.

"Hmm."

Their foreheads touch.

"And look. I've got it right here."

He smirks.

"Robin!"

He tickles her in all her weak spots, 'cause he memorized every single one of them, and she's begging him to stop between laughter and tears. But how can he, when she's right beneath him, all breathtakingly beautiful? And adorable? And stunning? And smelling so, so good?

Yeah. He can't. Not really.

They were sparring in the training room with her hair all up in a ponytail and her little outfit that he had never seen before (he thinks for a second it may have been a deliberate form of torture which absolutely works on him). A sports bra and short shorts and lord, he's a step away from saying "fuck it" and kissing her stupid, breathless, dizzy and everything in between, you name it.

She tries squirming away from his attack, but he doesn't let her go. He's quick to straddle her, but careful not to touch in the place he… most definitely wants to touch.

She tries to grab his wrists, but he beats her to it. He pins her arms down to the ground beside her head and straddles either side of her waist. They're both panting and sweating and the tension that had been rising between them recently seemed to be reaching its boiling point, to the point where just her breath hitting chin was sending shocks down, down, down. He can't tell if he's weak for letting himself fall into this position, into this little game they seemed to be playing, or strong for not indulging in the sweet temptation that is her.

Her. All hair and hips and the prettiest damn face he's ever seen in his life.

He smirks. Feigns control like he always does, and leans in, nice and slow. She gasps just slightly. she must think he's finally gonna let himself go. To that, he thinks to himself: Not even for you, Star.

The feather-light touch of his bottom lip to the shell of her ear just sends at least half of his mind six feet under, mostly because he felt her tense underneath him. His self-control was escaping him, and he nearly had no will to get it back. To kill absolute perfection. It was such a shame, that his upbringing brought him here, to both her and the endless ache of this moment. This must be the compromising position in which he dies. He doesn't really mind, though.

He has too much power right now. She's waiting for him, she's been waiting for him all this time, so kind and patiently. It felt cruel to withhold what they were both so eager to receive. But he could give it all, right now. He could give it all and fuck the rest, fuck the problems that'll come along, just fuck it.

He could pull back, look into those gorgeous eyes, and start something new from there. He could end the torture, right here, right now. He breathes her name into her ear. Knows she knows. And then he's staring into sparkling eyes, and just as he's about to —

"Yo, party to-NIGHT with the East Crew!"

"Oh hell yeah, bro, I —-"

In one motion, he pulls both himself and Starfire on their feet. He gives Cyborg and Beast Boy the dirtiest look he could possibly muster. Morons. Morons.

"Oops."

Lifesavers.

They back out of the training room, along with their awful, lifesaving timing.

She's smiling awkwardly and tapping her index fingers together, a deep blush across her cheeks. The way she looked right now was just straight up unfair. He waits for to look at him and not down at her feet. And when she does:

"I won."

She giggles.

"Perhaps this round."

He doesn't know how much longer he could survive without kissing her. Maybe he'll have it figured out, maybe he'll find a way, maybe a year from now.

He places his hand on the small of her back.

"C'mon. We got a party to go to."


A year ago today, she was happier.

So, in some sort of attempt to maintain the little control she has over her emotions, as well as on a whim, Starfire puts makeup on.

It is not much. She used the makeup she bought with Raven in the mall of shopping: some golden eyeshadow that reminded her of the stars, some mascara, a deep rose-colored blush, and a lipstick to match. Rarely did she use cosmetics, but the Fourth of July had grown to become one of her favorite Earth holidays.

She couldn't wait for the fireworks, how they burst in her body and the sky. She always remembered how he smiled that night, and it used to make her heart flutter.

Now, it sunk.

She wore a white dress that flared at the hips, ended just above the knees, and had a neckline that dipped low enough to show a hint of cleavage. She feels pretty in it.

She sits in the ops room, observing the decor that adorned the walls. All she had left to do was wait for the other Titans to get here. She had the blast at last year's party in the Titans East Tower. She laughed so hard that she got dizzy, couldn't even breathe. She misses laughing. Misses the lightheadedness of feeling alive. A year ago, she was floating all day, head in the clouds without the ground in sight. She had felt beautiful.

That was when she thought everything would change. That by the end of the night, she'd be given what she asked for. Even now, she still feels the ghost of his lips at her ear. How sickening.

"Woah, lookin' pretty, little lady."

Starfire looks up, instantly blushing.

"Makeup too?" Cyborg whistles. "Who you dressin' for? Hmmm?" He waggles his eyebrow, and it only makes her turn redder. It was flattering, embarrassingly so, and she didn't know what to say.

"I thank you, friend Cyborg," she says shyly.

"They'll be here soon. Y'know, Star, I've been meaning to ask you…"

She shifts in her seat. "Yes?"

"Do you know what's been going on with Robin?"

For the second time in a row, he catches her off guard. Something has been going on with him for a while, and she had learned nothing in that time. He made sure she didn't know anything. It irritated her soul.

"I… I do not know. He has told me nothing."

"Well, I thought if anyone knew, it'd be you."

She physically recoils from his statement, and a look of sympathy washes over his face. "Damn, he left you in the dark too, Star. I'm sorry."

She forces a small smile, regretting her reaction. "It is the okay. I am just not sure of much these days."

An awkward moment of silence follows, his watchful eye stuck on her. It makes her squirm. How he managed to make her feel so exposed so quickly flew past her. She has never been one to hide her emotions, and she could just barely keep herself from crumbling anymore. She stands to leave, feeling too uncomfortable. Could the party start already? Could she just forget?

"What did that short bastard do to you?"

Starfire looks up at Cyborg with wide eyes, feeling small under his glare.

"Nothing!" she says too quickly, grinning too widely.

"You talkin' 'bout me?" Beast Boy says. She turns in a flash, grateful for the distraction. His eyes widen once he sees her.

"Damn, girl, who you dressing up for?"

"For… freedom?"

"Not everything's about you, pipsqueak."

"Who you callin' pipsqueak?"

"You. Pipsqueak."

The boys growl at each other. She cannot tell if they are playing around or not. She backs away quietly, but Cyborg catches her gaze the second she moves. One that knew she'd been hurt, and he'd find out why.

As much as she loved him, she couldn't stand the thought of being humiliated all over again. She doesn't need anyone else knowing about what happened. X'hal, don't allow her to get there. She doesn't think she could handle it.

She walks away from the boys' arguing, but is stopped by that short bastard walking down the hall. He's stock still and staring at her. Her mouth goes dry.

"Makeup."

She touches her face reflexively. Is it ugly, did she look like a glempork? Despite the fact that she had just gotten complimented twice over, her insecurity still overpowered her. But why else would he stare in such a way?

"Why're you…?"

She bites her lip, hard. Crosses her arms and tries to make her way past him. She had to get away from him. She'd avoided him successfully the last couple of days, pushed the memories of that night out of her mind. She couldn't look at him without it coming back full-force.

She retreats to her room and wipes it all off.


The boys were playing basketball on the roof, and all the girls watched. The sun was beginning to set, a light drizzle falling over everyone. It left her in awe. The air was pleasantly warm. For a second, she is thoughtless.

"So, which team are you betting on?"

An arm loops through hers. She looks up to see Bumblebee's playful smirk. Starfire always thought she was pretty, effortlessly so. She smiles back.

"Whichever team is victorious."

Bumblebee throws her head back and laughs, and it makes her feel warm inside. She has been around too many boys lately, and she has grown tired of them.

"Ain't that the truth. You ever notice how boys don't ever let you forget that they're boys?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, like this: we're heroes. We put ourselves in these life threatening situations probably everyday, and you'd think that'd make these boys act a bit more mature. But no. They still act like a bunch of clowns once they get the chance."

Jinx rolls her eyes. "Clowns? An understatement."

"Tell me about it," Raven says.

Starfire watches the chaos unfold on the court. The boys were growing aggressive and cocky, teasing one another like children. It was endearing, to say the least. Insults were being thrown back and forth, namely between Cyborg and Beast Boy, and it makes her chuckle. It was almost innocent, the way they were so determined to play a simple game.

"I see. They act as though they are children at play," Starfire says.

"It's because they are," Wonder Girl says. "I don't know how you guys do it. Live with them. They'd drive me crazy."

"'Cause sometimes, they're cute. Right, Star?" Bumblebee winks. She thinks that her soul leaves her body. X'hal help her.

"I'm just playing. But that boy of yours… he's something else, isn't he?"

"Oh, no, he is not mine, I-"

"He's been sneaking looks at you this whole time. Must be that dress, which is stunning on you, by the way," Kole says.

"Yeah, what a— mm!" Jinx says before being interrupted with a kiss to the lips.

"Sorry, babe. Just missed ya," Kid Flash winks before speeding off back to the court.

Bumblebee sighs. "Aww, look at Jinx and her man."

"So adorable," Argent says.

"Well, like you said… clowns."

Still, Jinx blushes and looks down at her feet. It fills Starfire with this indescribable feeling. One perhaps of awe, of longing, of… jealousy? Whatever it is, it brews inside of her chest, and it stays.

"The rain's starting to come down. And I don't like it," Raven says.

"Clowns, I mean boys," Jinx yells. "We're leaving you!"

"Babe, a little rain won't hurt anybody!" Kid Flash yells back.

"You girls scared of getting a little wet?" Aqualad says.

His eyes then lock on hers, and he winks. Her eyebrows shoot all the way up. She did not expect that. The basketball comes flying at his head, seemingly from nowhere. He yelps in surprise and whips his head around, searching for the culprit.

"My bad, man," Robin says.

Thunder sounds. Loudly. It makes her jump.

"What a Fourth of July," Raven mumbles before casting her spell and disappearing into her magic.

"Let's go," Bumblebee says before grabbing Starfire's hand and leading her to the staircase, the other girls behind them.

Once they enter the ops room, the boys follow suit, filling the room with even more noise. Cyborg, the honorary cook of the night, heads to the kitchen.

"Yo, Star, you gonna help me or what?"

"Of course." She floats over to him, still on a slight high from her long overdue socialization. "I shall prepare my favorite Tamaranean dessert!"

"Yeah, you can go ahead and do that, but I already made some dessert. Could you do me a favor and pass me the meat in the fridge?"

With a pout, she obliges. She forgets often that her alien cuisine isn't exactly a favorite among her peers. She opens the fridge and spots a beautifully crafted cake, immediately going wide-eyed and hungry. Hungry. She's hungry. She doesn't know what kind of cake it is, with vanilla icing and the cocoa dusting on top. It is simply tantalizing in this very moment.

"Quick, Star, while the grill's hot."

"My apologies!" She springs into action, grabbing the packs of meat and walking over to Cyborg. She places it gently on the counter.

"That cake… did you prepare it yourself?"

Cyborg chuckles. "Yeah. Look good?"

"Delicious. May you please teach me how to make it? I almost could not contain myself at the mere sight of it…" Starfire trails off, nearly drooling.

"Of course, little lady. You're acting more like yourself again. Maybe this party's just what you needed."

She nods. "Perhaps."

"I'll call you when I need you. Go have fun."

She smiles, genuinely. It feels nice. She turns around and begins to walk away.

"And don't let him get in the way," she hears faintly, but she ignores it.

She stands by the couch, where the rest of the Titans did as they pleased, waiting for the storm to pass and for the food that smelled all too good cooking on the grill️. Her stomach grumbled. Her renewed appetite is unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome. She likes having everyone around. It wasn't often that they joined together like this, without some sort of danger present. Maybe it's that she can finally relax a little.

She feels a hand brush against her back, and then she's tense all over again. She turns to meet dark eyes.

"Oh," she huffs.

He raises a brow, teasingly. "Oh?"

"You surprised me," she says breathily. "I trust that you are having the good time?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure I'll have an even better time with you. I mean, if that's alright."


Damn this stupid party. Could you even classify it as a party? It was more of a get-together than anything.

Damn this stupid get-together. Damn this stupid rain and these stupid games and stupid Aqualad hitting on his gi—

Damn his stupid brain.

He's been watching her since the party began, and how Aqualad's goddamn fish eyes would not stop tainting Starfire's body. He knows she looks amazing in that dress, but goddamn, didn't everybody know by now that him and Starfire, they had something?

Had.

God, he knows he's selfish, but he can't help it when some… guy oogles her like she's some exotic piece of meat. It was disgusting to watch him wink at her, and now to watch him chat her up across the room was a new form of torture he never thought he'd be punished with.

But of course, once again, it's his own fault. And he only made it worse earlier today when he froze at the sight of her like an idiot. He vaguely heard the girls talking about how they were clowns or something, and really, from his time at the circus, he wholeheartedly knows that clowns have more charm than he has ever had when it comes to this girl.

That dress looks so good on her. A perfect contrast from her golden skin. He adores the way it fits her body, the way her cleavage peeks out. It must have been made to utterly destroy him. And to his fucking dismay, it's all being displayed right in front of Fish Boy. He is fuming. She's blushing and laughing so prettily over whatever dumbfuck fish thing he has to say. When the hell did he take any interest in her, anyways? He could get him kicked out of the Titans, honestly.

He almost loses it when his hand falls on her waist.

"Robbie, I have an idea to pro— dude. You good?" Kid Flash says.

"I'm fine," Robin says through his teeth.

Kid Flash is silent for a beat, before continuing in that annoying way he does. "Alright. Whatever ya say," he leans in real close, "Dick."

"Shut. Up."

"C'mon, Rob, don't be such a party pooper. Tell Daddy Flash what's wrong." Robin grimaces as Kid Flash wraps his arm around his shoulders. "Don't be shy. You know I don't judge."

Starfire meets his eyes for a split second. She has this unreadable expression on her face, and it makes his gut turn. Aqualad steps a little closer to her, and she seems to welcome it. She glances over at him again, like she's checking. Looking. For what? He clenches his jaw so hard that it hurts. He did this to himself…

"Oooh, I see, I see. You're mad 'cause Aqualad over there's trying to steal your girl."

"She's not my girl."

"Well, everyone thinks otherwise. Except Aqualad, apparently. Not gonna lie, they'd probably have the cutest kids with the sickest powers. All that ocean shit mixed with those bolt stars? What're they called? Anyway…" Kid Flash whistles comically. "Better make a move before —"

"Who said that I even wanted to make a move?"

"Well, man, it's pretty obvious…"

"There's nothing going on between us. She can do whatever the hell she wants."

He regrets saying this instantly.

He feels eyes on him, burning all kinds of holes through his skin. He said it loud enough for some of the other Titans to hear, including her. The look of hurt on her face kills him. God, he's really teetering on the edge. How could Wally's stupid comments get him this fired up? He truly lives up to his name sometimes.

Instead of betraying any more emotion, he pulls his face into his signature stony expression. If he acts like nothing happened, then maybe he can believe that nothing really did. Oh, how he wished it were true.

He looks back up at Kid Flash, who's staring at him with this mixture of concern and confusion. If only he knew. But really, he didn't even know himself.

"I'm sorry dude, I didn't mean to… I don't even know."

"So what idea were you going to propose?"

"Well, uh… truth or dare… sounds kinda lame, I know, but I'm sure we could spice it up. Just like the crazy crime-fighting teens we are."

From the corner of his eye, he watches as Aqualad places a hand firmly on her lower back and guides her away. Away from him.

"I guess we could. If everyone's up for it."

Lightning coats the room with light. That's when the power goes out.


Everyone was situated on and around the sofa, the candles illuminating everyone's faces in an almost, dare she say, romantic way. The rain has begun to die down, and everyone had eaten. Even though they intended to stay on the roof all night, no one was really upset about the rain. Cyborg promised that the power would come back on soon. Truthfully, she didn't want it to. The atmosphere was comforting.

Around the circle, the Titans exchanged scary stories. Starfire always found this tradition odd. What was the joy in instilling fear in both yourself and everyone around you? Every single story made her skin crawl. Aqualad was sitting next to her, and her first instinct was to lean into him as a means of protection. He'd only smile at her.

As pathetic as it made her feel, it was also nice to have somebody by her side. Yeah, she doesn't know him all too well, but he is handsome, and he made her feel as though she was worthwhile in such a short amount of time. Maybe she was wanted by someone, afterall. She believes he may have been flirting with her. She still wasn't used to the idea of being flirted with, but she figured that once she glanced over at Robin and saw that look on his face, that Aqualad was doing just as she suspected.

It gave her a sick thrill to see his reaction. She let Aqualad touch her, let him come closer, just to see if he'd do anything. All she got was insulted from across the room. She didn't know what she expected. It overwhelmed her to hear his words, despite it being the truth. Why couldn't she accept what she already knew?

Perhaps it's not the truth. But she pushes that thought away.

"Are you always this much of a scaredy cat?" Aqualad says with a teasing smirk.

Starfire pouts. "I do not enjoy fearing for my life."

He chuckles and shakes his head.

On the other side of her, Bumblebee pokes her thigh and waggles her brows. As if she hasn't blushed enough tonight, Starfire's cheeks redden once again.

"Yo, Sparky, turn that power back on already!"

"What did I tell you? Gotta wait. Patience, girl."

Bumblebee rolls her eyes. "Boys."

"You got something to say, Bee?"

Starfire giggles as Cyborg and Bumblebee argue. It takes her mind off all these tales of ghosts and monsters and everything in between. She feels a hand at her shoulder and averts her attention back to her companion for the night.

"I've been meaning to tell you how beautiful you look tonight."

Starfire smiles, truly. "I thank you."

"Enough with these lame ass 'scary' stories. Let's get a little freaky, ladies and not-ladies," Kid Flash announces, standing in the middle of the circle.

"You're lame," Jinx says. Everyone laughs.

"Your mom doesn't think so." He winks.

"What did I say about the mom jokes?"

He only blows a kiss in response.

"Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted," he continues, glaring at his girlfriend, who only rolls her eyes, "why don't we play a classic game of truth or dare?"

"Are we in middle school?"

"I wouldn't know. I didn't even go to middle school."

"Why can't we play spin the bottle?"

"Ooo. Why not seven minutes in heaven?"

"'Cause I don't wanna kiss anybody other than my girl!"

"Is there more food?"

"When's the power coming back on?"

"GUYS!" Kid Flash yells abruptly. "We playing truth or dare or what?"

Everyone mumbles, hesitant to agree for whatever reason. Starfire recalls playing this game once at a similar party quite a while ago. She recalls it being fairly innocuous, so she was not against the idea.

"Everyone, get in a circle. Nice and big. Yeah, that's right. Alright. Rules are as follows: be creative, no cheating, and don't be a pussy. Somebody pass me a bottle. Thank you, love. Move those candles for me?"

The group forms a tighter circle around the table. Already, she was growing anxious, and she wasn't sure why. It was all fun and games.

She stares at the candlelight, unsure of what else to do while the other set the game up. She looks up to see him sitting directly across from her at the other end of the circle. The patter of the rain against the windows slows down. She's stuck in time.

"Let's begin." He spins the bottle.