Keep in mind that Craig is slightly different. Craig did cheat on Ashley with Manny, but he is more thoughtful. Ashley broke up with Craig once he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and Craig and Manny hate each other. The relationship led to a conflict between the two, so there's no possibility of a relation between them anymore. Oh yeah, Ellie's POV for the first time. I don't plan on making a lot of chapters based on her though, so don't expect more from her.
Toby's POV
Why now?
Out of all the times in Degrassi history to be noticed by most of the students in the school, why now?
For the past 3-4 years I have been in Degrassi, I've always been laughed at, shunned and shrugged off whenever I wanted a just a bit more popularity. I was stuck under the impression as a nerdy sidekick, hooked onto a much cooler student.
The only times I've ever been respected were whenever I had helped someone with their homework and even then, a friendship never blossomed from that interaction, they would just forget about me.
It was those scenarios that hurt me as a younger me, but it had also helped me learn the true thoughts behind people's actions.
They had never wanted any friendship, they just wanted to reign in on the profits of a gullible child.
Even so, I've experienced strange looks from bystanders everywhere, and for different reasons. Apathy, amusement, disinterest, and most recently, fear.
Whether it be positive or negative views, I could've handled it. Positive views were always nice, and I could handle negative views. The shear amount of times I've been stared at for multiple reasons have made me unfazed to many of the times I've been stared at.
This, however, was different. Complete curiosity. That's it. Neutral emotion was pretty weird. Seeing people look at you, but not in a good or bad way was very weird. On the one hand, you don't know whether or not what they're truly thinking, but on the other, it can either make you relax, or do the complete opposite.
Throughout all of this, I had learned something. People were weird.
I'm not saying that in a bad or good way, more like a neutral. I had spent so much time trying to be in the limelight for a reason outside of being a nerd, or a bad reason, only to have been met with laughter and rejection.
So why now, the one time I want to remain hidden, is when I'm given the attention. Sure, it might've been the altercation between Jay and I at the cafeteria, but I felt it was more.
Walking through the hallways of Degrassi, with my usual wear, baggy hoodie and sweatpants, alongside my black headband and hand wraps, I could hear the sounds of whispers and the feeling of people watching me behind my back.
There have actually been three occasions so far where I've caught a group of people staring at me, shortly turning away once they realized I had seen them.
The first instance came right as soon as I entered the building, filling my water bottle, I noticed Paige and Ashley staring at me from a distance. Once I had filled my water bottle up, I had given them a stare, before turning forwards towards my locker. They quickly looked away.
The next instance came from a group of students in my first class. While I was talking with Craig, he notified me that some students from the other side of the room were eyeing him. Once I had turned my head over to the direction, they quickly turned away.
The last instance was after my class, where as I passed the hallways, a group of girls were murmuring, before eyeing me up, to which I had to quell by sending my own eyes towards them. I think one of the girl's in the group was a new student named Darcy, I don't know, nor do I care.
Despite this, my day within Degrassi remained normal. Aside from a few more stares, from curiosity from the students, or stares of anger from Jay and Spinner, I couldn't care less.
It was lunch yet again, almost 24 hours after the squabble between Jay and I, and instead I had met up with Craig before I went to the cafeteria. I knew that if Jay was giving me stares, he would most definitely retaliate, especially for embarrassing him in front of the school like that.
"Are you okay?" I heard Craig ask me, to which I shrugged.
"I'm alright, as long as Marco's alright," I replied, looking at him.
He seemed unsure, but shrugged, "I just hope they don't beat you up for this," I laughed at him.
"They won't, I'll be prepared," I told him, but he wasn't convinced.
Instead he looked worried, "What happens if they bring a weapon?"
"Why would they?"
But he looked at me, "The glass bottle?"
That was then I realized they could. It was then I realized they really didn't have any remorse for what they did. I mean, they pranked a kid before he was killed.
I shook my head, "If they bring a weapon, well then that happens,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, now can we just eat?" I didn't want this conversation to continue on.
He sighed, "Fine, but we'll sit with Marco and Ellie this time around,"
To which I nodded.
Sitting next to Marco, with Craig and Ellie across, I ate in silence as I watched and listened to the conversations Marco, Ellie and Craig.
Marco asked first, "Do you know how well our single's doing?" To which Craig nodded.
"It's making progress, I mean, 200 copies of our first single on the first day is not bad by any means,"
To which Ellie returned, "How do you know you sold that much?"
"Royalties, Ellie," To which he pulled out around five $50 bills.
Marco seemed interested, "So when do I get my share,"
Craig laughed, "Right now, actually," as he followed by giving one to Marco and Ellie, the latter who seemed confused.
"Wait, why am I getting one?"
Marco giggled too innocently, "Yeah, why Craig?" To which Craig sighed.
"Ellie helped me for the preparations of the single. It wouldn't have come out any sooner if it wasn't for her, so I act least paid her for her part," He shrugged simply.
Marco shot back, "Are you sure? You're being friendly with Ellie,"
I laughed slightly before adding in, "Too friendly,"
Craig and Ellie both blushed, to which Craig replied.
"Are you trying to make everything awkward between us?"
Ellie followed up, "I just helped with the release and pre-recording in the music room,"
I chuckled slightly at the conversation, "It's only awkward if you two make it out to be awkward,"
To which they both shrugged it off.
As I laughed at the interactions between Craig and Ellie, who I really think they should date, my mind shifted to Jay.
While I didn't see them at all in the cafeteria, instead in the halls alongside Spinner and Alex, who both would glare at me, I couldn't care less. Seeing Jay's usual smirk turn into a face of confusion and shock was satisfying to say the least.
It in a way gave him the message that Toby Issacs was not the same vulnerable person he was back then. Now he was a different, more confident, stronger person who wasn't afraid to beat the dirt into anyone. I didn't care about expulsion, because I knew I wasn't going to be slapped with it, the school system wasn't about that. At worst, they'd probably suspend me for a week.
And it seemed to work. Aside from the glares from Jay's group, they seemed to be puzzled at my sudden appearance. While Alex had commented on my appearance, it was mostly from my head wear, rather than my muscle mass.
Now that I thought about it, I looked down to my body, to see that it was easier to notice my muscle mass, which made me nervous. If Jay had seen this, then I would be in trouble. Judging from the looks my peers had given me prior, it would be to no surprise if they also noticed.
I groaned slightly, why is it that when someone works out, they have to make a big deal about it.
"Toby," my mind snapped out when I realized Craig had called my name.
I looked at him, "Yes?"
"You haven't taken a bite of your food, you've just been staring at it," I looked at it, realizing it was still there, in one piece.
I scratched the back of my head, "sorry, just stuff on my mind,"
"You want to talk about it?" I shook my head, but smiled, appreciating the concern
"It's okay, just trying not to let people staring me down get to me,"
"Don't let that get to you,"
I nodded as I understood what he meant, before consuming my lunch meal.
Eventually the bell rang, and most students started heading towards their locker. Saying goodbye to Craig, Ellie and Marco, I went towards my locker, where I was getting my stuff. I eventually realized that the workload for my classes after lunch were not that heavy, and as a result, I could carry my workout and school bag with ease, immediately leaving school once it was done.
Before I could head to my class however, I was stopped by two people: Emma and Manny, the former who mildly shocked me. I gave them a look, before trying to move past him.
But I was stopped by Manny, who put her hand in front of me
"Toby, what were you thinking?" I raised an eyebrow, hoping I could pretend and avoid this.
"What do you mean?" I shrugged, hoping to fool them into what they were talking about.
But Emma spoke up, "Trying to pick a fight with Jay, what were you thinking?"
I resisted the urge to speak up about Emma's hook up with Jay, I almost spoke. Almost did. Instead, I spoke a different mind, "I was thinking that he was being rude to Marco and Ellie, so Craig and I stepped up for him,"
Manny scoffed at the mention of Craig, clearly not forgetting the incident, but spoke.
"What are you doing hanging out with him?" She scoffed, clearly pissed that I was hanging out with Craig.
"Well, we were just talking casually, when we saw Marco getting tormented by Jay, so we stepped up to get him away, that's all," I smoothly replied, which only seemed to infuriate Manny further.
Clearly angry, Manny raised her voice, "Why are you hanging out with Craig?"
While I wasn't the type to get angry at Emma or Manny, the latter was reminding me of Kate, who reprimanded us for hanging out with each other. To this day, Kate and I have been completely silent towards each other, my own father noticing the tense atmosphere build up between us, but ultimately took a blind eye.
Eventually, I got close to Manny's face, which shocked her.
"In case you haven't realized, nobody was there to help me after the incident, not even you or Jt. You were all focusing on Emma and Sean, which I don't mind, but the fact that none of you even called to check up on me, knowing that if I had disappeared from the school scene, you would look for me, but no, you just continued flirting with Spinner,"
I looked at Emma before continuing, "And hooking up with Jay," which clearly dug a hole in Emma's body, as she flinched greatly, taking a step back from Manny and I.
Manny, whose anger was replaced with shock and disbelief, tugged my arm.
"I tried to look for you, but you basically disappeared, when I finally found you, you looked completely different from what I remembered,"
I quickly shoved her off of me, "Nobody noticed because I had no one to talk to, I was on my own! At least Emma and Sean had someone, but I was stuck on my own! I was stuck in my dark room with nothing to do but gaze off and think. Guess who was the first person to talk to me was" I asked her
When she didn't respond, I rose my voice, "Who was the first person to talk to me!"
She started to get teary, getting the message that Craig was the first one to talk to me. She looked at me, her eyes displaying a clear message, filled with sorrow and hopelessness, but I didn't care. When all I heard were Manny sniffing for a minute, I turned my back from her and left. I didn't intend to look back at all, but when Manny called my name, I turned around.
"Please, I'm sorry!" But I wasn't interested. I turned back and walked away, hearing the sounds of Manny's footsteps quieting as I walked.
Instead I started to hear another footstep getting louder.
I turned around to see, Emma, recovered from what I said, confronting me, a stern looks on her face.
"What was that about,"
I shrugged, not really caring for Manny's apology, "I thought that was a weak apology,"
"Why are you doing this?" She asked, a concern in her eyes.
But again, I showed no remorse, instead giving out a cold laugh, "Why shouldn't I? I widened my arms, my fingers pointing towards me, "Look at me, Emma!"
She looked at me, but instead of eyes of sorrow and hopeless like Manny, I saw a serious structured face, or at least a mask put on to hide how she was really feeling. Nonetheless I continued.
"Do you see a nerd? Do you see a geek? Do you see an easy target for Spinner and Jay, who used to always torment me? Bully me? Shove me around?"
When Emma didn't say anything, just like Manny, I raised my voice, "Answer me damnit!"
Unlike Manny she answered, a shaky, "No."
I repositioned myself, "Well then do you think I like it when my friends are flirting with the exact people who tear me down?" Emma proceeded to look down, ashamed of what she had done.
She answered, another "No," which made me scoff silently.
"Don't you think that might be your way of endorsing them to continue their behaviour towards, not just me, but to Marco, Ellie and Craig?"
I expected another no, but this time, she spoke up.
"Do you really think that because I spent one night with Jay, that means I'm on his side? It was a mistake! I wasn't thinking properly, this shooting was still eating me away!"
I stared at her, slightly shocked, but also relieved that she was telling me her mind, something I didn't expect.
But I let her continue, "Not only was I dealing with the shooting, I was dealing with my step-father possibly dying from cancer, Sean leaving Degrassi, and that hook up with Jay!" She ended.
To which I stayed silent. While she ended her sentence, I wasn't sure whether or not she would continue, but continue she did.
"And now, I have to deal with you," Which surprised me.
I asked, "What did I do?" I was feeling a bit insulted, is she blaming me for her breakdown?
"For a lack of a better way to say it, you've completely changed! Toby, not only are you taller than me, but you're no longer wearing your glasses. Instead you have a black headband, you grew your hair out, you have hand wraps on you like you're going to a professional fighting arena, and I can see some muscle through your baggy clothes, which you are clearly trying to hide! Where did you even get all of this muscle?" She ended the last part by touching my arm, feeling my muscle.
I sighed, realizing she had spotted almost everything different with me.
"I'm fine Emma, I just went to the gym to distract myself,"
"Distract yourself from what?" She asked, her eyes pleading for me to explain.
I turned her way, "Distract myself from the fact that I witnessed a shooting, and that no was going to help me, do you know why no one helped me?" I asked her, to which she shook her head.
I continued, "Because I was an acquaintance of that shooter! Jt laughed at my face when I tried to talk to him again, and everyone antagonized me, looked at me in fear, like I would shoot up a school! My social life and mental life were deteriorating. I went home a couple of days after the shooting, and destroyed my room! Tore everything into pieces, destroyed my glasses, everything that reminded me of Degrassi. I had no one to help me, or notice what happened to me!"
She remained quiet again, before looking up with me, "You didn't have to suffer alone,"
"Well guess what, I did, and I'd like to think that I came out pretty well,"
With that being said, I firmly turned around and headed to class, not wanting to be interrupted in the slightest anymore.
Ellie's POV
I was getting sick of it.
After my house had burnt down into rubble, I would have thought that my mom would have realized the dangerous consequences of alcohol abuse, but she didn't.
As much as I wanted to, I ultimately decided to stay with my mom, rather than move with Ashley or Sean, not that the latter would have gotten me anywhere better.
She had promised me she would improve; she had promised me she would enter AA, and beat the addiction she had.
Three months have passed, and nothing had changed. While my mother was still a sweat mom, who tried to encourage me to do what I needed, her alcohol habits were kicking in. If anything, it was getting worse, to the point where she was getting angry, which scared me.
About that AA, it turns out she faked going, instead going out in bars and chugging a few drinks. I was sick of it, I had hoped she would get better, but she hadn't. Her words deceived me into making me stay with her, and my patience was running low.
Entering the house, I noticed that my mom wasn't here. I sighed, not too surprising, she was either out doing her job or drinking. Despite her problems she was still able to function and do her job normally, with many co-workers actually telling me descriptions that made her as normal of a mother I could image.
I eventually concluded that her problems either stemmed with me, or the fact that my dad had left for Afghanistan, though I still didn't know.
Laying in my bed, I sighed, there was no therapy today, though Craig was nice enough to drive me home. Though throughout all of the drives, he's never entered my house alongside my mom, which on the one hand was relieving, but on the other, felt like a cry for help. My mom was a ticking time bomb, but Craig was unaware of the danger I was in.
I decided to finish some work I had left behind recently, as I had nothing to do, and if I went out without notifying my mom, it'd be a repeat of her forcing me out and back in the house.
While I myself was getting treated for my issues, my mom was continuing down the same path she has taken for so long.
A beep on my phone notified me of someone texting me. I picked up the phone to see I had missed texts from Ashley, Alex and Craig, with the last one being the most recent. Smiling, I opened Craig's messages to see what he had to say.
Craig: I don't know if I can handle another day inside with Joey
I laughed before texting.
Ellie: What about Angela?
Craig: She's fine, but gets tiring after a while. I kinda want to do something relaxing.
My face reddened at what he said. Maybe I was implying that he was asking me out, but to be safe, I decided to pretend he didn't.
Ellie: Is that your way of asking me if I want to do something?
Craig: I mean, sure if you are down?
I smiled, replying yes on my phone before putting it down. While I had yet to answer Ashley and Alex's texts, as I was a notorious late texter, my response to Craig's was almost instant, and I didn't know why. Just the thought of him wanting to text me made me smile.
I looked at what he said.
Craig: 7:30, sooner or later? I'll pick you up and we can bug Toby or Marco?
I laughed at his response.
Ellie: I don't know about Toby, he might beat you up, as for Marco, maybe.
Craig: Both of them?
Ellie: Sure, 7:30's fine.
I put my phone down and continued to work, I had no idea how this outing would work, but I shrugged, hopeful it would be a fun experience.
I decided to respond to Ashley and Alex's text, both of whom were just asking for a girl's night out sometime during the weekend. I closed my phone. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, but rather the details were rather cloudy and I didn't want to say anything before it got cancelled.
After about an hour, of work, I heard the front door open. I gulped, looking at my watch, it said 6:24 PM, pretty early, maybe she didn't drink as much if she was home this early.
My hopeful thoughts were crashed as soon as I heard her steps, irregular, the sound of a liquid pouring into a glass, my mind shook.
I decided to stay in my room, it wouldn't be that bad if maybe I just stayed upstairs, while my mom ran her course a floor down.
Shrugging, I continued until I heard nothing, which kind of surprised me. Thinking maybe she went out, I took a cautious step downstairs, only to see my mom knocked out on the couch.
I feared, my mom rarely drank herself to sleep and the few times she did, she would wake up an entirely different person, whether it be scolding me for the smallest things, or blaming me for my father leaving the country. Regardless, I ran down, trying to wake my mom up, before the change could take place.
Eventually, I got her awake, but to my horror, she turned towards me, anger in her eyes. For the first time in my life, my mind was telling me to run from my mom, who was already unstable in general, was now looking like she was going to attack me.
When she lifted a beer bottle, I ran. The glass shattering just behind my back. My mind was racing, as I ran up the stairs, my mom behind me walking up groggily.
I locked the door in my room, scared of what my mom would do. She was never this way; she was never aggressive towards me. While she was occasionally aggressive, it was never directed to me, and at most was just random yelling, but never an attack aimed at me.
"She's going to kill me," I thought before I heard her climbing the stairs.
"I got to call someone," my mind raced before I picked up my phone and called Craig. I quickly remembered him describing the details of his father preparing to beat him, how he'd lock himself in his room.
Eventually he answered.
"Hey Ellie, what's up?"
"Craig! Help me-" I pretty much begged him through my phone.
He quickly seemed to hear my tone, "What's going on?"
"It's my mom, she's-" I couldn't breathe, my mind was racing, my breathes were becoming quicker.
"She's what?" He asked, just before I heard a harsh noise coming through my door, my mom was attempting to break it down. I had hoped he heard what was happening.
To my relief, he did, "Ellie! Jump out your room window, or bathroom window and hide, I'm on my way,"
"Okay," I responded, opening my window, before slowly descending off, trying not to sprain my feet. Judging from the impact from my feet to the grass, and lack of pain, I was content that I got off with no injuries.
But my relief was short lived, as I quickly realized she saw me through the window, wielding a knife in her hand. My mind immediately told me to run, but I didn't want Craig to find me missing and think the worst, so I had an idea.
Running to the front garden, I ducked behind some bushes, hoping she would just look for me, give up and leave, but I remained hidden, fearing for my life as my mom was running around holding a knife. I was too frozen to do anything, not even call the police to tell them a crazy lady with a knife was trying to kill her daughter.
However, the sound of a familiar engine roar made me thaw, and I saw Craig exit out quickly before running to the porch.
"Ellie?" He asked desperately, hoping I was somehow still here. I relaxed slightly, before jumping out of the bush to meet him.
He saw me, giving me a happy smile or relief that I was okay.
"Craig!" I said as I ran into him, putting my arms around his back, holding onto him for dear life.
"What happened," he asked swiftly
"I don't know, it's my mom, she's been-" I was cut off by the sound of an opened door and a chilling voice.
"Eleanor Nash! You've ruined me! Took my stable house away and messed me up mentally!" She said, slowly walking towards Craig and I, still holding each other, with a knife in her hand.
I gasped as she came closer and closer, as none of us moved.
Suddenly, Craig lifted me up, still holding me, he put me behind him, acting as a barrier between my mom and I, before turning around to face my mom. Being much bigger than me, I couldn't see what was happening. As I feared for the safety of Craig, I began to get teary, as the worst scenarios began popping in my head.
"Let me see my daughter!" I heard my mom yell.
To which Craig responded, "Not until you put down the knife,"
She was approaching Craig, as I could hear from her footsteps, getting louder and louder.
Eventually I couldn't hold it anymore, the safety of Craig, my mom trying to kill me, and everything I had to deal with was coming back to me, and I started crying.
Shortly after, I heard the sound of a metal drop, before I saw Craig move out the way. My mom, was still, like a statue, the knife that was originally in her hands, now dropped onto the floor, as I could see her eyes also being filled with water. It seemed that the sound of her daughter crying snapped her out of her trance.
"Ellie, oh my god," She started, realizing what she had done, before dropping to her knees, also crying out.
I couldn't find myself to hug my mom, after what I had witnessed, but to see my mom bawl into tears broke me, and I found myself crying into Craig's arms yet again.
"It's going to be alright," Craig softly spoke to me.
I let it all out, trying to stay strong for my mother clearly had its toll, as my breathing was quick, and my eyes were so watery my vision was blurry.
My mom crying also did not help, especially after almost murdering her daughter, she broke down as well. It was like the sound of a wounded dog sound, it was ugly, but it hurt to hear.
Eventually, everything calmed down, my mom and I stopped crying, my breathing returned to normal, as I wiped the tears off my eyes, and Craig lightened his grip on me, instead putting a hand on my shoulder, as he encouraged me to talk to her.
Slowly, I approached her, who was looking down on the ground, still on her knees, ashamed of what she had done.
"Mom," She looked up at me, still teary eyed.
"I'm sorry Nash, I didn't mean everything I said, and I didn't mean to do that, I don't know what went through me," I sighed.
"Mom, I can't take this anymore, you almost murdered me, what happens if you continue down this road!" I was shaking, trying not to let my tears come out yet again.
She again looked down in shame.
"I'll go to therapy," I shook my head.
"It won't be enough, you have to go through an AA meeting,"
She looked at me in disbelief, but nodded.
"I'll try," I cut her off. A new surge of strength put into me, as I saw Craig beside me, watching everything go on.
"No, you won't. You will go to the meeting and you will get better, what happens when dad comes home to see you like this?" I raised my voice, my tears filled with passion, rather than sadness.
She remained silent, which allowed me to continue, "Go get therapy, go to the meetings, and you'll get better, cause if you don't-" I looked at Craig, who nodded in support.
"You'll never see your daughter again!" I finished, to which she gasped.
"What?"
"I'm moving in with Craig," I looked at him, who, while was shocked, smiled at me, accepting me moving into his place. Even if Joey denied, I knew I could count on Craig to make it possible.
"And I will be staying there. I will visit you once a week to see how you have been doing, and once I see that you've become sober for two months, then I'll move back in with you," I finished.
My mom, while was shocked to hear what I said, slowly nodded.
"Maybe you're right, I've been a monster, I deserve this,"
"You're not a monster, mom, it's just this alcohol almost put you in jail, and me in a grave,"
I looked right in her eyes, "Please mom, please do this, if not for you, do it for Dad and I,"
She smiled, "Alright Ellie, I will,"
"Thank you," I said before hugging her.
Eventually we broke away, her speaking first, "Alright Ellie, grab everything you need right now, I'll talk to Craig to see what kind of people you're staying with,"
I nodded at her before entering my house, for the last time, getting everything, I needed to stay with Craig, even if it will be hard on my mom
It took me 15 minutes to get the stuff I needed, before I saw my mom and Craig chatting.
She smiled, "If you have to come back for anything, feel free to," before turning her eyes to Craig, "Take care of my daughter while I'm gone,"
He nodded, "I will Mrs. Nash, get well soon," He shook her hands, before walking to the car. I hugged my mom.
"I'm sorry I put you through this," I heard my mom say.
I replied, "Everything will be okay once you're cured, take care mom,"
I looked at her, before I grabbed my bag and headed in Craig's car. As the car drove off, I looked back to see my mom looking at me, sad, but determined to get better.
I turned back to Craig, "Thank you so much,"
"It's nothing, I know how hard it is to leave a parent alone in their house, when I moved in with Joey, I left my biological father alone,"
"Do you think she'll get better?" I asked to him, hopefully.
He sighed, "I hope she does, I can't tell what will happen, but let her know you are with her, at least call her daily,"
I smiled at his helpful advice, "I will, thank you so much again Craig, do you think Joey will mind?"
He smiled, "He might, but I can work something out with him, besides it's not like you're staying forever, right?"
I looked back in the direction we came from.
"I hope not, it would be nice to move in with my mother again once she's sober, but living with you may be some fun," I smiled at him.
He returned the gesture before notifying me, "Well trust me, you'll really love Angela, she's amazing"
I laughed at what he had to say, perhaps this wouldn't be too bad.
"I mean, It's not like anything will happen there between us, right?"
