Author's Note: Hello, party people. I want to thank you kindly for every view, favorite, follow, and review. We're about 30k words in, and not even in the middle of the story. Please hold on for the ride lmao.

I've been writing the last couple of chapters on the beach, and let me tell you, it is a lovely experience. My favorite season is summer, which is why I set the original story and this version during summer. It is the PERFECT time for angst and drama and romance, don't you think?

Anyways, this is the shortest chapter I've written so far (excluding "transmission i") but it's pretty loaded. I try to hit at least 4k words each chapter, but if it's finished, it's finished, know what I mean?

This is the longest I've stayed committed to a story, so I'm very proud of this. I hope you're all enjoying the ride so far.

Enjoy! 3


She holds him for the second time that night. She swallows the shame that comes with it.

He is alive. For that, she is grateful. How could she feel so embarrassed by it?

The answer burns in the back of her head.

She is too aware of the fact that he does not move even a fraction. Too aware of his stillness and fast-beating heart and the door closing shut behind her.

With a grimace, he pulls away.

"Did I hurt you?" she says, but it sounds more like a whimper.

"No. My arm. Raven didn't finish healing it."

"Oh." She hugs herself and steps back. "I see."

She can barely make out the discomfort of his expression through her blurring vision. The silence holds her still. Not a tear falls. Not until.

"I was worried about you, Robin," she manages, voice cracking. "I'm glad you are the… okay."

"Why."

"W-what?"

"Why," he repeats monotonously. A statement instead of a question.

"I do not understand." Her eyebrows furrow upwards, her lips pull down into a frown. She is losing control quickly.

"Why were you worried?" He steps forward. "Why did you save me?" Another step. "Why are you here right now?" She backs up against the wall.

His breath ghosts over her face.

"Am I not allowed to?" Her words are of hurt, but anger simmers deep in her stomach.

"I just don't think you really want to."

The anger is quick to boil.

"Are you insinuating I am here purely out of obligation than of concern?"

"Possibly."

"Well, I assure you," she says through gritted teeth, "I would not be here otherwise." Her voice fades to a whisper, and a tear slides down her cheek.

"Hm." He's walking away from her again. "Thank you, Starfire. Maybe you should head to sleep. You look tired." His back is to her, facing the bed instead.

"I am afraid I cannot."

"You had no problem sleeping out there."

She shakes her head, irritation and shame heating her face. The little hold she has on herself is slipping away.

"Robin," she says shakily. Barely concealed rage knocks at the surface.

She does not think she will ever know what it is about him that fills her with fire. Her surest sign of life, this boy was. Is. Always.

The push and pull between them ran hot through her limbs. Why is he being so difficult? As though he was not apologizing to her this very morning?

You could not leave him faster.

Guilt stifles the heat. She squeezes her eyes shut and turns away, cringing at the memory.

Remember what he has done. How he has broken your heart unlike anyone else.

"Robin."

"What more do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"What more do you want?" He whips around, holding his right arm tightly. "I've given you space, I've apologized in more ways than one… and I'm fucking sorry, Star." Each second leaves him looking wilder. He inches close to her once more.

She wants him away. She wants him even closer.

"What the hell it is you want, I can't give it to you."

He has her back against the wall. Neither of them can seem to get enough air. She calls for the heat to come back up so she could spit it out of her mouth.

"And what exactly do I want, Robin?"

"Do I have to say it?" he says from

behind his teeth, nearly slamming his left hand by the side of her head.

"Yes," she says into his open mouth, eyes gleaming and boring into his, "you do."

Then the hand near her face is gripping her jaw and the damaged one is on her lower back, pushing her so that their stomachs touch and so that she can feel…

She gasps.

Everywhere, he surrounds her. Everywhere is where the flames lick, the sparks cover.

He rests his forehead on top of hers, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Their noses brush with each heave of theirs. The hand on her face slides down her neck and then around the back of it, holding her there. He is the only one who knows her weak spot. A knot forms and unravels in her stomach, over and over and over.

The fingers pressing into her back flex, hesitating. Hesitant to let go. She looks at him helplessly. Daring. I dare you. To come closer.

They stay in the burning heat for too long. The world stays still while it turns faster. Spinning. Burning. Hurting. Again, she waits for him.

Closer. Closer. Closer.

She thinks she whines when his bottom lip brushes hers. Just the slight touch runs down her spine like summer sun igniting.

She sighs softly, scared to move. Craving to. Needing.

I need I need I need I need

The lightest shimmy of her hips makes them both stop breathing. They might have died just now.

He brings them back to life with a squeeze on her neck.

She moves her hips again, fearing absolutely everything in the moment. He responds with a dizzying force, pulling her so hard against him that her back arches off the wall. He threads his fingers into the hair at the base of her skull and holds tightly.

X'hal...

With a newfound courage taking over, she lifts her arms and drapes them around his shoulders.

He feels so good.

The tip of her tongue runs up the center of his top lip.

"What do I want?" she whispers languidly, letting it pour achingly slow out of her mouth and into his.

His palm slides down to the middle of her back, the pressure decreasing. He moves his head until they are cheek to cheek, until his words fall right into her ear.

"Not this," he breathes.

She would fall had he not been holding her up.

She grabs at his chest, as if it would erase the second before. She does not know how to take it. She feels abandoned, reckless, desperate for his meaning to change.

But she knows. She knows, she knows, she knows. Knows him better than anyone else.

"Not me."

He withdraws from her, and she is so, so cold.

Thoughtlessly, she grabs his collar and brings him back. She cries despite, and because, of the humiliation. With her eyes she begs him.

Stay.

Stay

stay

His hands encircle her wrists. She is breakable under his hold.

"I can't," he says, defeated. "I can't do this to you."

She shakes her head vigorously, expression contorted in pain.

do not leave me again

He brings her hands up to his lips as if we were about to kiss them, but he stops himself. With a frown, he guides them down to her sides and lets go. She crosses her arms over her chest, seeking any comfort for the nearly unbearable ache in it.

How could he do this to her? Again?

Too hurt to care about how weak her tears make her look, she lets them flow freely.

"Perhaps you are correct," she spits bitterly before tearing open the door and leaving.

She ignores the confusion on her friends' faces. The loud thump and shout behind her.

She does not stop moving.


His whole entire body is fucking aching.

He could run. He could run to her. Find her again, get down on his knees, the only person he might ever do it for, beg for her to stay.

Except he shouldn't go, can't go, wasn't ever ready for this. Whatever it is.

He clings to his reasoning, still. Maybe it'll make sense again soon. Maybe he didn't fuck up irrevocably, maybe this was for the best and one day she'd know just how difficult it was for him to choose this. To push her away. Far, far, far, far away.

But that's not what he wants. Not what she wants, either.

He fucked up.

Bad.

Lost her.

Her scent and her breath and her stare is stuck on him. He can't breathe. Doesn't really want to right now.

He doesn't know he's hitting the wall, doesn't know he's yelling until it rips out of his throat and into the air. He's wild, lost, grieving, uninhibited, losing something he was never sure he actually had to let go of.

So what was it, then? What was it? What was it? He's breaking all over again.

There's no thought in him left; he runs past his friends and out of the room and into the hall and up to her. He's up the stairs and into the humid night. He can barely see the speck she is, barely see how she turns to him and then turns away.

He falls and sits there until the sun rises.


He's quick to sneak behind her once he catches her outside his window.

With the tips of his fingers, he grazes her side. "Boo."

She cranes that pretty neck of hers. He wants to wipe that sad, sad smile off her face.

"Hell— oh."

He tilts his head, furrows his brows. "What's the problem, cutie?"

"Your…" she gestures to his face, eyes growing wider. "Mask," she finishes in a whisper.

Oh shit.

He smiles slowly. "Like what you see?"

She hums, inspecting him like a curious cat. She reaches out to touch him, but hesitates, fingers ghosting over his cheek. "I… wow."

How the fuck did I forget my mask?

He shows her his teeth. "You can touch me, Kor. You know I like it when you do."

It's so easy to make her blush. He likes that about her. A bit too much, probably. He takes her delicate little wrist in his hand before she can drop it. His thumb rubs circles into her palm.

"So… why the pouty face? It's breaking my heart," he says with his own exaggerated pout.

She shakes her head. He tips her chin up.

"You can tell me. I'll keep all your secrets." He places his free hand over his heart. "Promise."

"Jason, I am grateful for your concern. But I would much rather not talk about it."

He stumbles backward, acting like he's been shot straight in the chest, clutching it with his tongue sticking out. It's enough to make her smile, just slightly.

"Understandable, princess. But if you shoot me down again, I don't think I'll be able to take it."

"You may have to. I cannot promise you anything."

He raises his brow. "You tellin' me to suck it up?"

She laughs, and it sounds like light. "I am telling you to hold on."

"Can I hold onto you?"

He steps forward and tucks her hair behind her ear. He runs his hand down the length of it, lets it brush against her lower back. She looks at him like it's all a dream. His eyes linger on her heart-shaped lips before climbing back up to her own. She sighs.

He leans in close enough for his hair to brush her forehead.

"That a yes?"

Instead of speaking, she leans her cheek against his chest and then her body against his and oh, it's better than anything she could've said. Without hesitation he wraps his arms around her, stroking her hair and keeping her melted against him.

He tucks her head underneath his chin and sways her gently back and forth. "It's okay, princess," he murmurs, first into the air and then into her hair. "It's alright…"

He can feel her tears on his shirt, and without any sense of rationality, it pisses him off. Who the fuck made her cry? He thinks he knows.

Before it erupts, he stifles the anger with the sight of her against him. She brings her own arms around his middle now, lacking strength.

Stupid fucking prick. Dumbass little bitch. I'll fuck him up.

"Jason," she mumbles, trying to lift her head.

"Hm?" he says absentmindedly, staring at the sky.

"You are… hurting… me."

He slips his hands to her waist and pulls himself back, keeping a safe distance between them.

"I'm sorry, Kor," he says, rubbing his thumbs along the curves of her, "I didn't mean to hurt you. Y'know, I really hate to see you so sad." He cups her face in his palm and wipes a tear at the corner of her eye. She shuts both, like she's savoring the fact that she's being touched at all.

He'll touch her all she fuckin' wants. All she has to do is say the word.

God, please say it sometime soon.

"You're killin' me, baby. Talk to me," he says low in her ear. He likes the way she shudders. Grabs his shoulders. Breathes so sweet on his neck.

"It is too much to talk about. How could I even begin?" she says so soft, shaking.

"Hey, hey, no rush. You're just starting to scare me a bit. 'Cause usually, when you come out here to see me, you're smiling and giggling and talking my ear off and —"

She smacks his shoulder. Hard.

Damn, he loves a girl who can hit.

"Fuck was that for?" He tries to sound big and mad, but he's grinning from ear to ear like the fool he is.

"You know what." She puts her hands on her lovely hips and smirks. It's borderline evil.

"If you weren't so damn cute," he stalks closer, making sure to remind her how he towers over her, "I'd smack ya right back."

"Is that so?" she whispers. Her eyes are still glassy. Their noses brush.

"Uh huh. But I'd never make you cry."

Her smile wavers. "Is that a promise?"

"It's a given."

She bites her lip, and he swears her skin's glowing. Gently, she reaches up and skims her fingertips by his eye.

"They are green," she breathes, like a little secret between them.

"Yup. Yours are a lot prettier, though."

Her touch runs down to his jaw. "You are too kind."

"Only for you."

When her thumb grazes the bottom of his lip, he places a barely-there kiss on the tip of it, not even a fraction of everything he'd do to her if she let him.

He's a real dumbass for forgetting to put his mask on. But the way she's looking at him now? He doesn't regret not having it.

She glances over his shoulder and sighs wistfully. "The sun is rising."

He doesn't turn away from her. "I've got a better view," he says with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes and chuckles. "I may have to start going."

"Stay? A little longer?"

"I would love to, but I cannot."

"Can't what? Run away?"

Her look says it all.

"No worries." He pecks her hairline. "But I am expecting you tomorrow. Got something I wanna show you."

"A surprise?" she says, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"Mhm." He traces the outline of her ear.

With hesitation, she breaks away from him. "I will be here."

She's already an inch in the air. He grabs her knee. "Come whenever. I'll be waiting," he says, winking.

"Good night, Jason."

"Good morning, Kori."

The sun makes her hair look like fire.


There is no one waiting for her when she returns. No peace of mind she can find, either. There is no reason for her to sleep. She was simply too tired to.

She likes Jason. Undeniably so. She does not want to feel guilty about it anymore, or to deny herself so natural and free-flowing. He reminds her of home, in a way.

She wants him there. Wants him. The thought doesn't scare her as much as it did just the day before.

She has lost count of how many times they've seen each other; the amount she'd stay with him always varied. He knows her without many words, and that comforts her deeply. A little piece of kindness when all else has failed her. With him, she can relax.

With him, it does not hurt.

And after tonight — X'hal, she just wants to forget it all. There is no purpose in remembering. She finally has her answer. There is nothing else, now. She has pulled herself away completely.

Now, what is it that Jason wants to show her?