I want to preference this, but for those who don't understand why Craig didn't want to pursue a relationship with Ellie, I can explain. It goes back to going through so much and essentially not letting go of the past. Craig feels as if his past is hindering him from greatness. This is something I relate to, as I have had my struggles mentally, physically and socially, but I promise Craig and Ellie will get together, no matter what. As for Ellie, I don't know if i want any more point of views from her, as the main characters are Toby and Craig. Anyways enjoy this chapter!
…
Ellie's POV
I don't even know how to feel. On the one hand, I'm glad Craig and I got closure, but on the other it was the type I wasn't hoping for.
While I was glad, he still cared for me, I thought we had something special. Those kisses were so great, and we both enjoyed it. Did he not? What did I do wrong? Did he just not like me?
No, he told me he was crazy for me, so why did he reject me?
All of these thoughts were racing through my mind, before I realized that I woke up in Manning's house. Getting up to see myself, I went to the mirror to observe myself. Everything was alright, besides the red eyes from crying and broken heart.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock on my door.
"Ellie! You awake?" It was Craig, and immediately I felt that hope, which was quickly replaced with sadness and sorrow.
"Yeah, I'm awake!" I yelled back. I had no intentions to get out of the bathroom though.
I was so confused at everything that had processed. I went from kissing him to crying over his rejection.
I had to talk to someone. Grabbing my phone, I knew exactly who to talk to.
"Hey Ellie," I heard Marco's voice through the speaker.
"Hey, can we talk at school early? It's about Craig," I realized how sad and dead my voice sounded, which Marco heard.
He asked concerned, "are you okay?"
I sighed, "we'll talk about it then, see you,"
I ended the call, getting dressed for school. I had no means to dress fashionably, so I wore some black clothing.
Until I realized that the black shirt, I put on was Craig's gift to me after our argument.
"You always find a way, Craig!"
I decided to change it. It was just reminding me of what could've been.
I walked out to see Craig, rushing into the shower I had just resided in.
I went downstairs to see everything. His guitar, couch, even his medication. It was his stuff, and even though I didn't lose him, why did this feel like I was saying goodbye?
I was waiting by his car when I saw him approach me, a smile on his face. Even with everything, I found myself returning it.
"You ready to head out?"
I nodded to him, before he drove to Degrassi.
"Alright Craig, see you," was all I said to him before I went searching for Marco.
However, on the way, I ran into someone who I didn't expect to, but also kind of did.
"Toby," I asked mildly surprised.
He responded after the recoil, "Oh, Ellie what's up?"
I was looking around the school, looking for Marco, "Not much,"
He seemed rather intrigued by how I was acting, "Are you okay?"
I turned back to him, putting my face in the best resting position I could, "Yes, yes I'm fine,"
I saw Toby look at me, "It's about Craig, huh?"
I blinked, "How did you-"
He interrupted, "Remember when I called him out the cafeteria? It was about you."
I wasn't sure how to respond to that, "Uhh,"
He shook his head, "Listen, as much as Marco and I would joke, we genuinely wanted you two to start dating, I'm taking from this he rejected you?"
I nodded solemnly, reminded of that night.
I heard him sigh disapprovingly, "Ellie, I know your hurt, but I want you to know that Craig really loves you,"
"I heard him say he was crazy for me,"
He nodded, "Exactly, he's too afraid to losing you,"
"Then why did he reject me? If he was crazy, he would take the chance!"
"Ellie, Craig's confusing, the kid's been through a lot,"
I snorted, "Yeah, he and I know each other like ying and yang,"
He smiled, "Give him some time,"
I raised my eyebrow, what did he mean give him time. "What do you mean?"
I heard Toby laugh, "By the way Craig describes you, he's bound to regret what he did, I don't know how long it will take him, but I know he'll come back to you,"
I was rather surprised and hopeful, "Don't give me hope,"
I began to leave, when he stood in front of where I was going, "Ellie, if you were me and you heard the way Craig talked about you, you would see how crazy he is for you. He's too afraid to break you like Ashley and Manny. He actually wants it to work."
I looked at him, knowing he wasn't lying. Toby wasn't really the type to lie. "He said we're still best friends,"
He smiled at that, "That's good, he wants to be on good terms with you. Craig's too stuck in the past of his mistakes. Trust me, he should have tried a relationship with you." I smiled at that.
But it quickly turned to a frown, "But what do I do now?"
"Show him you moved on, when he realizes that he'll regret it,"
I looked at him, shocked, "Wouldn't that hurt your friend?"
"Yes, it would, but at this point he's too scared to take the risk. You've kissed, hung out, went out alone. You're going to have to move on. Maybe that will get him to realize what he wants."
I looked at Toby, and his eyes told me everything. While he didn't want to hurt Craig, he knew that the only way he would be courageous enough to risk it is to realize what he had lost in that timeframe.
I gave him a look of acknowledgment before asking him one last question.
"Have you seen Marco?"
He nodded, "Yeah, he was just at his locker,"
"Thanks, see you!"
I ran towards Marco's locker, I knew he would be pissed at what I was about to tell him, but I knew in time everything would work out. We still had each other, unlike Sean, who I despised now.
I despised him for leaving. Even though I was glad he was happy, I was hurt even more than I already was, call me selfish.
"Marco!"
He saw me, grinning, "Hey Ellie!"
I gave him a tight hug before pulling back, my demeanor changing rapidly.
Marco seemed to quickly notice this, as I could tell he went back to the phone call I made early morning.
"What happened?"
I sighed, looking across the hall to make sure he wasn't around.
"It's Craig,"
At first, I saw him grin, but with the tone I mentioned his name in, it quickly faded, and turned to anger, which I didn't want.
"What happened?"
I sighed, "Okay, so you know who you and Toby would always joke about Craig and I dating?"
He nodded, "Oh no..."
"So, you don't know this, but we kissed accidentally,"
"What?!" He said, but I continued like I didn't hear him.
"Multiple times, but there was this one time where he just snapped,"
He looked confused, but then angry.
"How did he snap?"
"He just rejected everything we were doing, he said he wanted to remain best friends," I was almost tearing, but I told myself not to cry.
I looked towards Marco's direction and his face said it all, he hated Craig now.
"How could he do that to you? He led you on!"
"He didn't-"
"What do you mean! He kissed you and made you think you guys had something special!"
"Marco, we both-"
"If I see this piece of shit, I'm going to give him my opinion,"
"Marco, it's alright,"
I was honestly shaking at Marco's unexpected anger. Though I understood that he cared deeply for me, seeing him this angry over me was something I hadn't expected.
I just hoped Craig didn't come to us.
Unfortunately, fate had other plans. I saw Craig walking towards us, smiling in his usual self.
"Hey guys!"
"You!" I heard Marco say shortly after.
I saw Craig recoil in a mix of confusion and fear, "Uhh, I'm Craig?"
He shook his head, "You led Ellie on!"
"What? No, I didn't!"
I saw Marco take a deep breathe, before turning to me. His demeanor didn't change, but his tone did.
"Craig and I are going to have a talk, is that fine?"
I saw Craig nod, before looking at me, confused.
I was nervous for Craig, but I knew he could take care of himself.
"Okay, don't do anything stupid you two,"
They nodded before we went our separate ways.
I looked back hoping they wouldn't kill each other.
Some time went by, with my feelings on edge, hoping the two wouldn't get in a fist brawl. I knew those two were friends, but you never know. I could feel my heart beating erratically, my breathes becoming short and my eyes blurry. Before I could fall to this, I saw them.
I thankfully saw them returning rather unscathed. Marco still looked like he was mad at Craig, but not giving him a parent stern look, which was always a good sign.
"Alright Ellie, I'll let you and Marco talk," was all I heard from Craig before he left, clearly looking upset. I raised my eyebrow at this expression, what did Marco tell him?
I sighed; it was definitely going to be awkward when we went back to Joey's together.
Suddenly a thought came to my mind. I would have to live with Craig through this. It would be awkward.
I was so glad that my mom was recovering surprisingly quickly. She was clearly taken me leaving to heart and actually worked on herself. Her hair actually looked colourful, the house looked clean, with painted walls, she was cooking the last time I saw her.
Though I was hesitant to move back in with my mom, I was surer now.
Maybe it was time I moved back in with my mom. Maybe the timing wouldn't be right, because of Craig and I, but I needed a break from him, which I would not get from me living with him.
With my thoughts certain, I told myself I would leave Joey's and move back in with my mom again. I was happy with her progress
"So, what did you and Craig talk about?" I started.
Marco looked mad, but understanding, "he doesn't know what he wants," was all he said before shaking his head.
"Are you mad at him?"
He sighed, "I am because he hurt you, but I understand his reasonings a bit better."
I breathed out in relief, "we don't want this to make things awkward, just forget about it,"
He looked concerned, but eventually let me go.
Shaking my head as I entered my class, I knew today was going to be a hard day.
…
Today was the first day I decided to walk home since I moved in with Craig, and that's because I was going to my house, to see how my mom was doing.
Looking at the house from the outside, it already looked one with the neighbours. The white colour had been replaced with a slight tan, to make it pop out alongside the rest of the houses, rather than looking like a sour thumb.
Entering inside, the area looked completely different. I could smell some food on the table, even though my mom was not hear. She was at another AA meeting, plus with work, she had a busy schedule.
Waiting an hour, snacking on the guacamole she had made, I heard her enter the door, returning a smile I had sent to her.
"Hey Eleanor," I heard my mom say clearly, which made it certain she hadn't been drinking.
"Hey mom," was all I said before I hugged her.
I broke it, before taking a look at her.
"How've you been?"
She smiled softly, "I'm feeling good, a bit on edge, but recovering,"
"How long have you been off?"
She seemed to be in thought, before I saw her pull out a calendar, "about two months, maybe a bit more."
I gave her a smile, before sighing. Within the course of one day, I went from saddened from rejection to reconciliation with my mom, who was finally sober. I saw her and the condition of the house, everything seemed to shine and stand out, unlike a sort of grey world I had previously.
While deciding on living conditions would take weeks to get used to, heck even a week to decide, I felt certain at what I was about to say.
"I'll move back in." I said confidentially.
My mom looked at me in disbelief briefly, before smiling and hugging me. I could hear slight sobs of joy from her, as she rubbed my back softly, which made me feel more like I belonged here.
I had just hoped that Craig would not be too upset.
Breaking the hug, I looked at my mom, "do you want to come with me by Joey's so I can pack?"
She looked at me, "already? I mean, sure!"
I smiled at her. This felt better than when the house burnt down. I was proud of my mom; she went from near abusing alcohol to becoming a strong woman in two months. While it may seem too quick, she was determined and realized her issues, and accepted the help she needed.
Driving to Joey's I knew Craig would be upset. I took a deep breathe, them becoming louder the closer we got. I didn't expect that I would be moving back in with my mom so soon. It had been two to three months ago where she almost stabbed me when waking up from an alcohol induced slumber. Now, she gave off the aura of an actual caring mother, and that's how I knew it was time to move back in.
Eventually we reached Joey's house, with me giving the directions to my mom, we approached the door. My mom knocked, and I saw Craig answer it.
He clearly looked shocked, "Mrs. Nash! How are you?"
He smiled, my mom returning it, "Feeling great, two months sober,"
"Proud of you,"
I saw my mom nod back. I looked back at Craig, and his eyes said it all. He knew what was happening. Even though we knew this would happen eventually, it was still sad.
He widened the door, "Come in, both of you, I'll let Mrs. Nash get comfortable."
I rolled my eyes as him being a gentleman, but I knew he did care for my wellbeing, so I let it slide.
Walking up to Craig's room, the area he lent me while I was living her, I looked around for all my stuff, my belongings, my clothes. While I was uncertain on whether or not I wanted to take everything or not, I decided to leave some small stuff I don't think I'll need anymore.
I stopped when I heard some footsteps. I turned around to see Craig, looking sad, yet pleased.
"Are you excited?" I heard him start.
I looked at him in the eyes, "of course I am, I'm going back with my mom!"
He smiled at my enthusiasm, "Well, I'm happy,"
We remained quiet around each other after, before I heard Craig cough.
"Umm, I don't want to ruin this, but would us play a role in you leaving?"
I looked at him, knowing too well what he meant by us.
I sighed, "Maybe a bit, but my mom is really better, and I've been wanting to move in with her ever since."
He nodded, "Well, I'm glad you're getting back, are we still cool?"
I rolled my eyes playfully, "Of course, I'll visit for band practice in your garage,"
He laughed quietly. I knew he was hurting, seeing me leave, especially so soon after our talk.
"Craig," He looked up, "thank you for everything."
He smiled, "Of course, you mean so much to me Elle, I'm just glad I can be useful."
I nodded back, seeing that I had everything I needed. I looked back up at Craig, and we stared at each other again, getting locked into each other's eyes.
But instead of us leaning in, we tapped our feet erratically.
Craig broke the silence, "So-"
I laughed, "I'll see you in school tomorrow?"
He nodded, "Yes you will."
Giving him a hug, I left the room.
"Got my stuff, let's go mom," I was happy. My mom was starting her car, but before I could get in the passenger seat, I heard someone call me.
"Ellie!" Craig's voice stopped me and I looked back.
Looking towards my mom, "I'll be right back!"
I ran to Craig, who was staring from his front door.
He looked flushed, "I - if you need to come back to Joey's, feel free to."
I smiled, "Thanks Craig, really."
He smiled, before giving me one final hug. I could've sworn I felt a tear drop on my shoulder, and seeing Craig's eyes being slightly watery, I knew he was slightly upset.
"I'll make sure to visit you a lot, don't worry Craig, it's not like I'm moving across the country."
He laughed at that, "Alright, Ellie, I'll visit you in Vancouver."
I laughed at him, before waving him bye, running to the car, where my mom was waiting.
As the image of Craig and Joey's house disappeared, I smile at what was in front of me. My mom and I were finally reunited, and I couldn't be any happier.
Toby's POV
"Alright, so to show the asymptote, you show that the graph cannot equal 4."
Alex looked rather confused. While after us hanging around at Starbucks or the Dot, we eventually decided to continue whatever we had going. Alex had recently been struggling with her math, so she brought it during the ordeal.
I didn't mind in the slightest, I was always used to people coming to be for help with others, but to say it was weird was an understatement.
Here was a girl who had regularly pushed me off as an easy to bully nerd, know looked at me with respect.
Perhaps it was the increase in height, and muscle mass. Or even the accessories, and lack of eyewear that made me less of a nerd, I didn't know.
But what made me uncomfortable was how close Alex and I were getting. She seemed to be staring at me, and it was beginning to scare me.
While I was aware that my body transformation was a lot more noticeable than I anticipated, I had expected everyone to move on, and more people saw me in the gym more often, so that must've explained everything.
When she wrote down her answer in the math question, I sighed, "I think that's enough."
"Well, I didn't expect Toby Isaacs would be sick of work."
I laughed ironically, "Haha, very funny, even I have my limits."
She smiled, that same smile that made me uncomfortable.
She continued, "well I'd certainly see that, but not for you little friend, muscleman."
I sighed at her referring to my muscle mass again, something she seems inclined to bring up.
I raised my hands in defense, "I'm not a bodybuilder."
"Maybe you're not, but try telling that to the person you almost fought."
I rolled my eyes at her mention of Jay, but I couldn't care. They were expelled and they were coming back.
"Maybe I am, but I don't strictly weightlift," I shrugged after, because it was true. I still ran 5-10 kilometers to school. Even though Jay and Spinner were gone, I still found myself working out, it was enjoyable.
She snorted, "Tell that to your little friends."
I laughed, "These babies are little," I flexed my arm muscle, showing them in front of Alex. It was weird what I was doing, but it was fine.
That was until, I saw her stare at them, clearly surprised, and it made me uncomfortable.
I coughed, "Umm, Alex I'm up here." I pointed my finger in the direction of my face, to which she shook her head.
"Right, sorry." She apologized, which confused me.
It was truly awkward, the girl who once hated me now idolized me in a sort of sense. I wasn't oblivious to the stares she would give me whenever we talked outside of school, or walking past each other during the hallway. While it was nice to have a girl outside of Kendra actually find me likeable, it was actually weird.
My thinking was interrupted when I felt a warm hand entwine on mine, the small frame of fingers rolling across my larger ones. Immediately I felt sparks come out of myself as the feeling of touch was something I hadn't experienced in a long time.
I took deep breathe, as I felt the fingers begin to massage mine. I opened my eyes to see Alex's hand and fingers inside mine.
I huffed before taking them away, "Alex." I started, but she interrupted before I could continue.
"I'm a lesbian."
My mind seemed to stop as I blinked at her response.
"W-What?"
She rolled her eyes, "I'm a lesbian, I'm into girls."
Well that was certainly surprising.
While that did make me more comfortable, I did still have some questions.
"So, what was that about you and Jay?"
"He cheated on me with pretty much every girl in the book, I think you know one of them well."
I grimaced as I thought about Emma, and her actions. Even though she was not in the right state of mind, it was still devastating to know she had done that.
"I know, but when did this change happen?"
I didn't want my sentence to come off as insulting, but I was curious.
She didn't seem to mind in the slightest, "I don't know, I just noticed my preference."
She made it seem so simple. I was tempted to laugh slightly at her simplicity, but I didn't want to so I won't seem insulting.
I smirked, "So what happened with the stuff with Marco?"
She laughed, "Okay, that was ironic."
I laughed slightly, glad to know that Alex's actions weren't intended to make me uncomfortable, and she seemed so calm.
We seemed to talk a bit after that, clearly trying to take our mind off that weird encounter.
"So, I heard Ellie moved back in with her mom."
"Yeah, she moved back after she attended AA and was sober for like 2 months."
"Who was she living with?"
"Criag and Joey, apparently Craig was there for Ellie when her mom woke up a different person after drinking alcohol."
"That's nice of them, I think they'd make a cute couple, if Craig doesn't treat her like Ashley."
Ouch, that hit close. Even though I wasn't that close with Ashley, she was still my step-sister.
"Since when do I care for her?" I shook my head.
"Trust me," I started, "He's too crazy for her, he rejected her."
Alex seemingly blinked, "Craig Manning rejecting a girl? In my dreams."
We laughed out loud at that joke, "Hey, do you want to go to the movies?"
She smiled, in a way I knew was friendly, "Sure."
While today was a nice day and I learned some things about Alex, I was glad that my life was taking a swing up. It was nice to feel accepted and not just be known as the nerd of school. With the expulsion of Jay and Spinner, I actually felt Degrassi being safer. I actually felt happy to be there again. Through the new hobbies of working out, I had become a much better person.
Unfortunately, I knew something would happen. But I didn't know when, but for now, I could enjoy myself.
