This isn't the last appearance of Craig, he'll be back.
Craig's POV
My mind was in a haze. It's been three days since I talked to Leo, the record manager/producer, and I was freaking out.
I was excited, the moment to become the rockstar I desired to be was becoming more realistic, and I knew the time was now. But what about Marco? Jimmy? Ellie...
"I don't want to leave them." I mumbled as I was in the basement of Joey's house, quietly moving my hands on the guitar, making quiet melodies.
It wasn't just those three, what about Joey? Angela? I would possibly lose connection with them, and that was that. What would I do?
As I continued to ponder, even throughout dinner, I failed to realize Joey calling my name. Clearly this whole proposition was on my head.
"Craig!"
"Huh?" I said before I blinked, my eyes widened as if I was aware.
"What's wrong?"
I looked at him nonchalantly, "what's wrong? Nothing."
He gave me that stern look, knowing too well I was lying. "Craig."
I was stuck. I didn't want to lie to Joey, but I also wanted to. Waiting a minute, I sighed. "Can Angela wait upstairs?"
He looked at me, concerned. "Okay, Angela, can you go upstairs in your room?"
She gave a look of dissatisfaction. "Do I have to?"
"Yes, Craig and I have some adult stuff to discuss."
Sighed, she left without saying anything. She was already so responsive, it was crazy. Never underestimate your younger sister.
Once Angela was upstairs, Joey sat right back down. "What's going on Craig?"
Sighing, taking a breather, I began slowly, "I got the attention of a record producer, who wants me to go to Vancouver to record an album."
He looked confused, but eventually smiled, "Craig, that's amazing! What's wrong with that?"
I fidgeted my food, that was cooling slowly, before speaking up, "A lot, what about school? You guys? My friends?"
He sighed, "Craig, you've been wanting to get big since you started this, why are you worried?"
"I failed to mention to him that I was a part of a band, with Marco, Jimmy and Ellie."
At that, he began to understand, "Well, from how I see it, simply tell them and ask them what they think."
I looked at him, as if it could've been that simple. "What do you mean?"
He gave me that seriously facial expression, "If they say no, go alone, if they say yes, then talk to that record producer, what's his name?"
I laughed slightly, "His name's Leo, and what if he doesn't want them?"
At that Joey simply shrugged, "Listen, I don't know, but what I do know is that I want you to do this, even if it means you drop out, as long as you can take care of yourself, we will be fine, alright?"
Sighing, all I could say was, "Alright, I'll do this."
Before I left, Joey yelled at me, to which I turned to face him, "If you ever feel like you're unsure, you can maybe try and negotiate with Leo to come back and complete your senior year next year."
Sighing, I nodded in acknowledgement before I went up in my room. With tomorrow being Monday, and the start of a new week, this may be the last week here in Toronto, at least until next year.
Usual nights would be unpredictable. I would either get a lot of sleep, or not a lot at all. It was a side-effect of medication to treat my bipolar disorder. Insomnia, but for once, I had actually slept well. The stress of what was going on was enough to tire me out, even though the side-effects of the medication.
It was times like those that made me hate taking them, but whether I hated them or not, I took them. If I went against them, I would probably go crazy, or Joey would force them down my throat.
But regardless, I made sure today I took them. Even though they were for mania, anxiety was also a valid reason. Besides, it made me calm and sort of tired, so what was the harm?
Making my way to school, I made it a priority to tell them about this. I had to make sure they wanted to do this, and if they didn't, I'll find a way to manage. Before I could make it to Degrassi, I got a call from Leo.
"Hey Craig, did you get my message?"
Oh yeah, the message regarding the time to move, and everything.
"Yes, I did, I'm just finishing off some issues before I can make it there."
"That's good, I hope to see you by the airport when the flight goes."
"I'll be there for sure."
"Good, so we'll leave on Wednesday, so make sure you get everything done."
Wednesday?! Holy crap, did time fly by.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later."
As I ended the call, I internally slapped myself for failing to notify Leo about my band.
Before I knew it, I was slapping myself in vision, "Damnit Craig."
The thoughts kept popping up, and I failed to stop them. From my classes to Toby, I failed to notice anything outside of my thoughts. It was like I was stuck in a cage of thoughts that prevented me from talking to the outside world.
I needed to do this.
"Toby?"
He saw me looking at him, "yes?"
I gulped, "Can you get Jimmy to our table this lunch, I kind of have an announcement."
He looked interested, but nodded, "Of course, is this announcement game-changing?"
I chuckled, before taking a serious tone, "It's life-changing."
He raised his eyebrow at that remark, and I couldn't blame him, he didn't know anything yet.
Before he could question me further, I put myself looking forward and away from him. I had asked him for what I needed, now I was just waiting for the time.
The bell was what made me snap out, and I quickly went to my next class, where yet again I was distracted from my thoughts, and because I had no one to talk to there, I was alone, and didn't want to communicate.
I just wanted to get this over with, and hopefully everything would go smoothly.
That time came now, as just as I expected, I saw Marco, Ellie, Jimmy and Toby all sitting next to the table, looking at me expectantly.
Jimmy was the first to speak, "So Toby told me to come over here because you had an announcement, what happened?"
Taking a sigh, I saw everyone looking at me, "I caught the attention of a record producer, and he wants to fly me over to Vancouver to record an album."
I looked up to see smiles from everyone. Marco was the first to get up and hug me. "That's amazing, Craig!"
Ellie spoke up, "It really is."
I nodded, "It is, you're not wrong, it's just-" I was struggling to say this next part.
Ellie was the first to notice the tone switch, "It's just what? What's wrong?"
Damnit Ellie, you always sense the smallest changes with me.
"I kind of failed to notify him that I was a part of a band, he made it seem like he only wanted me."
I was expected displeasured looks, and scolds, but to my surprised, they looked understanding.
The quiet atmosphere was cut when Jimmy spoke up, "That's fine by me, this is really a you thing, especially with that performance and single."
I was shocked. They didn't seem mad, was my mind hallucinating? Was I hearing things?
"Are you sure?"
Marco interrupted with a laugh, "Craig, we all have our own interests, we just did this to help you out!"
"So, what about you guys? If I leave for Vancouver, what about you?"
Ellie spoke up, putting a hand on my shoulder, "We'll be fine, we can take care of ourselves, you should worry about you."
This really was surprising. "So, what should I tell Leo about the band?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Toby said, getting all of our attentions, "Don't tell him."
I stared at him, as if he was stupid, "What?"
He rolled his eyes, "It's clear that these three don't want to go, and if he only knows you from your experience from the performance, then you should go alone, I'm sure you'll get through it."
While I was still unsure, it was nice to know that they weren't mad that I failed to mentioned them, or that they didn't want to go. Maybe Toby was right, if they didn't want to go, maybe this was the end of the band.
"Is this it for the band?"
They all shook their heads solemnly, "We're afraid so."
I sighed, at least I had closure with that.
"I thought it was clear when you performed." Jimmy remarked, to which I shrugged.
"I just thought you guys weren't able to."
Marco gave me a chuckle, "We could have, but this was more of a you thing, rather than a us. Just like now, it's a you thing, not us. He wants you, not us."
I understood, but before I could respond, Toby had a question, "What about after your album is released, what about the far future?"
I sighed, I hadn't thought that far, "I'm sure he'll have a contract that'll last longer or something, but I kind of want to return to Degrassi next year."
"What?!"
Marco exclaimed, "Are you crazy?!"
I laughed, "They don't call me Crazy Craig for nothing."
"But you'll be behind by one year!"
I nodded, "I know, but I want to at least finish high school before I got and become a rockstar."
Marco put his hands in defense, "Alright, but remember, Ellie, Jimmy and I will have graduated."
I sent my look to Toby, "Toby's a year younger, so he'll still be here, and what about you Jimmy?"
He sent me a look of confusion, "What do you mean?"
"No offence, but you were out for like two months of school, do you think you'll graduate this year?"
He seemed a bit upset, which I didn't want to do, "To be honest, I don't know. I've been working my ass off this year after the shooting, I just hope it's worth it."
Feeling a bit guilty, I put my hand on Jimmy, "Well even if you can't remember you'll have Craig with you."
He gave me a chuckle before playfully pushing me off of him, "You're such a hassle."
The group laughed alongside us, and I knew that even throughout some news, the ease of the group will never change.
"Craig," I turned to Ellie, "make sure you kill it in Vancouver."
I grinned at her, "Of course I will Ellie, make sure you kill it here in Degrassi."
She rolled her eyes, "I'll be bigger than you." I laughed at her sarcastic attitude, something I hadn't seen in a while, but knew with her home life improving, so was she, and she was reverting back to her normal self, even if that was her being a bit too sarcastic. But either way I was happy for her.
"So, I'll be leaving Wednesday."
And here come the shocked looks.
"What?!" They all said in sync, which made me laugh at their childish behaviour.
I scratched my head, "Yeah, I was kind of given a deadline as to when to submit my application."
They seemed shocked, but Ellie was the first to speak, "Wow, I guess someone's going big soon."
I laughed at her assumption, "Don't worry, I'll be back in a year for September."
I felt a pat on my shoulder, only to see Toby behind me, "Make sure you don't do anything stupid."
I rolled my eyes, "Haha I get it, I'm a bit crazy, but I'm not stupid." I made sure to make a sarcastic tone just to get them on their nerves, which it had the desired effect.
As we continued to laugh, I ultimately decided and was sure of my decisions. While it would definitely be hard to function without the people who've been there for me, I knew I would prosper. I had the chance and I couldn't back down now.
This was it, and the best I could do was spend as much time as I could with them.
And that's what I did.
After school, we went over to the Dot, where we discussed and joked about our goals. It was a nice time especially considering the limited time we had.
We then went over to Marco's where his parents were sad to see me go, but I insisted I'd come visit them next year. Nonetheless, despite the grim future of me not being around everyone, we still had high hopes and made the best of what we had.
Tuesday was no different, we basically spent as much time together as we could. While I had to submit my application to Leo, accepting his terms with the fact that I could finish high school in Degrassi next year.
As for Joey and Angela, they have actually been planning on moving to Calgary, which moderately surprised me as they haven't told me anything new about moving recently. Telling them I was returning to Degrassi next year did surprise them, but they agree for me to return.
"I think it was a smart choice, it's just I don't know where you'll stay during that time, we've planned to go this summer."
I sighed as I had my talk with Joey, "I'll find a way, I think I know somewhere I could stay at."
He didn't look convinced, "Craig."
"I know, it's just I hadn't planned yet, but I'm either someone will let me crash their place, or if I make enough money, I could buy an apartment or something."
While he still unsure, I knew that Joey was just worried about my wellbeing. "Just take care of yourself out there, okay?"
I nodded in response, it would be hard to adapt to the new world outside of the comfort of loved ones, but I knew I would prosper.
"Got it."
Giving me a smile, he mentioned me to my room. "You have everything you need packed?"
I nodded, "My guitar, clothes, water bottle, cellphone, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and my medication, I think I've got everything."
He gave me a look, "Make sure you get a physician for your bipolar disorder, the last thing I want to hear is you missing again."
"Okay, Joey."
We stayed silent for a bit, before Joey gave me a pat on my shoulder.
"Get some sleep, this is your last night, that's crazy to think about."
I sighed, "Your right, holy cow."
"Angela's asleep, you said bye to her?"
"Yep."
He gave me a hug, "well, I'll see you when you come back, make sure you call us."
"I will." I replied inside his arms. I failed to keep a tear from coming out of my eyes, but the thought of leaving Joey and Angela hurt me.
It was crazy to think that I would reach British Columbia after all, even during my harsh times of living with my abusive father, how I would wish I could run away to the west coast. Now, it was becoming a reality.
Making my way up to my room, I took my final rest in the Joey residence. I now knew that everything would change tomorrow. This night was the last normal night I would have.
It was time. Early morning, Leo had waited for me. Nodding my head, I turnt to everyone close to me, giving them a hug. First was Joey and Angela, then came my friends. Marco, Toby, Ellie, Jimmy, and everyone who had been with me.
While I was kind of hoping Ashley would be here to witness this moment, I knew deep within that anything between the two of us were over.
Jimmy came first, "Kind of wished Ashley was here, huh Craig?"
I laughed softly, "Sure, but I know anything between the two of us is negligible, besides, I found someone better." I said as I looked towards Ellie, who was busy talking with Marco.
Jimmy gave me a poke, which made me turn away, "When are you going to tell her?"
I shook my head, "It's no use, I'll just hurt her, especially now with me leaving."
He nodded solemnly, "Make sure you call us." He said finally before going back.
Marco came next, and immediately gave me a tight hug, crying within my arms.
I rubbed his back, "It'll be okay man, just do what you want with your life."
He loosened his grip before looking at me. "Make sure you call us, and I can't wait to see you next year."
I nodded, "Of course I will, I'll never be too busy for my friends.
But the most important farewell, at least for me, was to Ellie. Sweet Ellie, who's been there for me whenever I needed help. The girl I had developed feelings for, but knew it was hopeless, especially know with everything.
"Ellie..." I started, but before I could say anything else, I heard the noise of a girl call me name.
"Craig!" I looked to the source to see the person I hadn't expected to see.
Manny.
"Oh god, why now? Does God want to troll me again?"
Sighing in slight frustration, I could see the face of a disappointed Ellie. "Give me a second, please."
She nodded, but looked upset, and moved towards Marco.
I walked a bit away from the group, to see what Manny wanted. Once I was approaching her, I started. "What?"
She looked at me, "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?!"
I sighed, "I thought everything was sorted out, I didn't think you would care."
She looked flushed, "Of course I still care! Did you think that was it between us?"
I was confused. Between us?! What did she mean by that?
I looked at her, surprised at what she said, "About us?" I repeated.
"Yes." To which she began to step closer to me.
I was skeptical of her choices of words and movements. "What?"
She shook her head before putting a hand on my arm, to which I pushed away, "I still like you Craig, I just hated how you left me after the abortion, and how you treated me throughout it."
I sighed, she's clearly still upset about that, "Manny, again I am so sorry I put you through that, what we did was wrong at the time, and I wished I was smarter."
She looked a bit insulted. "So, you didn't want me?"
I looked at her, a bit wide eyed, "I did at the time, but once I realized the pain, I had caused Ashley; I knew this wasn't right."
She gulped, "So what about now?"
I raised my eyebrows, "What?"
She got closer, began to tip-toe, and bring her lips nearer to my face, "What do you think about me now?"
I pondered, I still saw Manny as a cute girl, but I knew that the damage I had caused to both her and Ashley was unrepairable. How the hell did these girls come back to me? I was literally the worst.
"Craig?" I was pushed out of my thoughts when I noticed her lips were close to mine.
On the one hand, I wanted to close the distance, but I knew, just like Ashley, any chance of Manny and I was hopeless. Besides, I saw someone better. I began to think of Ellie, her luscious black striped red hair, hazel eyes, freckles, and slim but smooth lips that were so kissable.
Immediately knowing what I wanted, I pushed myself back from her.
"I'm sorry, but I don't see you as that anymore." I replied finally in a monotone voice.
She clearly looked hurt, "What?"
I sighed; I had some explaining to do. "I wanted you, I admit it, when I was with Ashley and you brought yourself on to me, I wanted you. But after seeing what I caused Ashley, it made me realize how wrong this was. And then you got pregnant, and I pretty much forced you to keep the baby for a while, and then I reprimanded you once you got the abortion."
She stayed silent, understanding where I was coming from.
I continued, "Somehow, I got back with Ashley, and I thanked the Gods everything worked out, she forgave me, which looking back at it, I don't understand how. When she broke up with me, I was sad, but knew that it wasn't going to work out. I knew once I cheated on her every hope of us at endgame was not happening. Then when I came over to your house with Toby, I realized the damage I did to you as well."
"But you didn-"
"I did," cutting her off, "You were angry, which was understandable. I made that song for you to get closure with you, to ask for forgiveness, to let you know I realized the mistakes I've made. It wasn't me asking you out again, it was me mending the negativity I had created between you and Toby."
She began to understand, "Okay, well, we're still at least friends, right?"
I smiled at her, "Of course, I couldn't forget about you entirely."
She smiled back, "Who's the girl?"
I gave her a look, "What?"
"Who's the girl you like?"
I sighed, Damnit Manny, how do you know? "It's Ellie."
Expecting some sort of yelling, I instead opened my eyes to see her putting her hand on my shoulder, albeit she's tip toeing again, "That's sweet, I hope your happy with her."
I looked at her kind of shocked. For the first time, Manny wasn't showing any jealousy, instead encouragement.
I smiled, "Thanks, really, but we're not dating yet."
She shook her head, "You should tell her before you lose her."
I sighed, "I know, but now? I can't give her any stress and heartbreak. She was dating Sean who left her long distanced, I'd pretty much be repeating it."
She looked at me understanding where I was coming from. "Okay, well, enjoy your life Rockstar Manning."
I laughed at the name she gave me, "Thank you, and I'll be back at school next year to graduate."
She gave me a smile before turning the other way. While I was glad Manny wasn't jealous of my affection for Ellie, or my change in opinion to her, she still respected me and that was all I cared about.
Making my way back to see the one girl I needed to talk to, she was standing there, still with Marco.
"Ellie!" I called her, to which she responded by walking towards me.
"You got what you wanted done with Manny?" She gave me a smirk, and I knew what she was thinking. We did talk for quite a bit.
I nodded, "Yes, she wished me a good luck on my career."
She rolled her eyes, "are you two-"
I laughed at her assumption, "No Ellie, we had our closure, she's nothing more than a friend, besides I know someone closer who I'd rather be with."
She gave me a sad smile, "Well I hope you find her."
While I was mentally slapping myself at her assumption it was anyone other than her, I figured it was best she didn't know, at least until I came back.
"So..." I started. "You'll call me a lot, right?"
She rolled her eyes, "I don't know, I may be busy."
We laughed, this reminding me of when she and I would hang out at Joey's or when she was living with Joey and I.
I sighed giving her a smile, "Really, call me, I know I said that for everyone, but hearing you gives me the courage to continue forwards."
"Aww." She looked a bit flushed which made me laugh.
"I'm serious, if I'm free, I'll call you first and spend the most time on the phone with you, okay?"
She smiled, "Okay."
Pulling her into a hug, I knew this was the end of an era, at least for now.
I could hear Ellie's slight sobs in my chest, which made me hurt for her even more.
She released herself before telling me, "Thanks for everything you've done, for helping me with my mom."
I caressed her cheek, "I'll do anything for you Ellie, you're my best friend." It really hurt to say best friend, because I knew I wanted be more to her than just best friends, but I told myself when I come back, I'll make it clear what I truly think of her.
"Take care of yourself, Craig." Was what Ellie told me before she stood on her toes, and planted a soft kiss to my cheek.
"Chu."
She smiled, blush apparent on her face, before waving goodbye. All I do was touch the spot where her lips were just now. If there was ever a permanent mark or a way to make it everlasting, I would do it.
Jumping into the car, with Leo in the passenger seat, my suitcase in the trunk. I set the GPS towards the airport, and drove off, waving goodbye to everyone who had attended my goodbye ceremony.
After what felt like an hour, but was actually 5 minutes, Leo spoke up, "So are you ready for this?"
I smiled, "Hell yeah."
