It's getting colder.

And by colder, he means that it's a tiny drop less of that nasty type of humid. He's hypersensitive to the weather, somehow, some weird after effect of living twice or maybe practically living on the streets for a hot minute. If he was back home,

it wouldn't be this damn hot.

But he's still walking along the beach. He still hasn't bothered to take off his sneakers. He's stepping on the sand in them with each step. He doesn't enjoy the feeling, but it's not enough to not ignore it. It's so much work, anyway.

Eliza gently stops and turns to face him, her eyes big and pretty in the moonlight. He loves her.

"Liza, I'm kinda hungry."

She tilts her head.

"I know we just ate. That wasn't enough, though."

She keeps staring at him.

"You wanna head back?"

They're pretty far down the beach. It's been empty the whole way through. He wouldn't mind going back now.

She blows air out of her nose and turns abruptly, already walking ahead.

"Oh, what's with the attitude? Damn."

That's not the only girl who gives him an attitude.

It's not like he minds it. Like, yeah, he fuckin'

likes it. What's not to like about it? What's not to like about a pretty girl knowing what she wants?

Even when she doesn't know everything. And she knows she doesn't know everything.

"None of her damn business…" he says under his breath, shoving his hands into his pockets.

He's wearing jeans, like an asshole. Fuck, it's fucking hot.

"Liza," he calls to her, her pace even faster now. "Let's go. Where the hell are you going?"

He can barely see Eliza in the distance, but he can hear her happy little pants.

He doesn't know why he's surprised. Maybe it's 'cause he thought he'd be alone for a good minute or two. She's starting to breathe down his neck.

But that soft cooing of hers does him in. He's drawing in close, faster than he should, sand kicking up behind him, closer until he sees her disarming smile and black cherry hair.

It's not what he expects.

Actually, he's lying. It's everything he does. But anything that should be a dream keeps coming back up, looking exactly like that.

He's talking out of his ass immediately. "Stalkin' me? Couldn't be a bit less obvious?"

She flicks her eyes up to him, only looking a decent amount of surprised. "Oh! No, no, I was merely…"

"Waiting?" he smirks. "I've been walkin' for a bit. Good thing you knew to come here, right?"

She strokes Eliza gently, lovingly, her brow twitching once, twice. "I saw that you were not home, and decided to rest here." She stands, hands on her hips. She looks hot. Especially when she's kinda mad.

He stretches his neck and tilts his head a bit to the side. "Sugar?" he says, poking his cheek, all innocent.

She rolls her eyes, but he sees the smile in them, she's not slick and she never was — she's kissing his cheek and he's smiling stupid when she pulls back.

"Sugar?" He has her hips in his hands and takes her in, kissing down her cheek and pressing a long one into her neck.

I can't fuckin' help myself…

"Jason," she giggles, writhing. She squeals when he blows a raspberry on her neck and then Eliza's on alert, pawing at their legs.

She pushes his face away but he manages to snag her pinky into his mouth and bites down. She gasps and pulls her hand back.

"Hey, I'm hungry," he says, pressing into her back so that she's snug against him.

"So eat the sand! Jaaaason!" she squeals as he tickles her stomach. Wow, he's torturing her. There's already tears in her eyes, her laugh is so loud around them.

Eliza manages to make her way between them but before she can jump back, he grabs her wrist and spins her around, pulling her close and holding her back to his chest. He wraps his arms around her waist and leans in, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear. "You can never stay away, can you, princess?"

"Is there a reason I should do so?" she says, her chest still heaving.

He sways her, but only slightly. "I've been wondering how you haven't found one…"

She raises a brow, her fingertips grazing his shoulder. "What is it that you are waiting for me to find?"

He takes her hand and spins her out of his hold. Then he's pulling her in again and wrapping her arms around his neck. He cups her hips in his palms. "Good question. Should I answer it?"

"Only if it matters." She shakes her hair out of her face, tumbling behind her. The breeze brings it back though, so he tucks in behind her ear.

"Do you want it to?"

She shakes her head. "No," she says, without hesitation.

This is it. This is always it. It's over when she looks at him like this. She's fucking got him.

They could be sinking into the ground for all her cares. Damn, not even quicksand could make him look away.

Isn't that kind of a nightmare? Isn't she one?

She tilts her head.

I wish she was.

Her nails feel nice, scratching his hair. He leans into her. Forehead against hers. His eyes slip shut.

"You look tired. Have you slept?"

"Have you?"

She shakes her head slightly. "Will you ever give me a clear answer?"

"You? Probably not. Like, ever. Why should I? You're letting me starve."

He doesn't need to see her to know she's rolling her eyes. She fists his hair in that way he likes and it feels so fucking good — "It is now my responsibility to feed you?"

He opens his eyes for this one. "I mean… you're supposed to leave me satisfied, no?"

She slaps his chest and he laughs.

"Am I lying?" he smiles, grabbing her arms,

not letting her get away.

"No!" she exclaims, cheeks nice and red. "You… you are so… annoying!"

He cocks his head to the side with a look of mock surprise. She tries to look angry but her mouth twitches, so she gives up and tucks her face into his neck, her body shaking with laughter.

"And you're not? Look at you… all in my space."

He slides a hand through her hair, watching it slip through his fingertips like silk. His other walks lightly up her spine from the bottom of it. She's trying not to react but he feels her body tensing up over and over.

"Jason, stop," she whines, shaking as she tries to leave his grasp.

"Hmm… no."

He's having way too much fun making her squirm. She's back against him in no time, fisting his shirt as he trails his fingers down her sides. She lifts her legs and arches her back, leaving her neck open. So he kisses it, over and over and over, softer each time as she laughs breathlessly.

But then she shoves his face away just as he's really getting somewhere good. That's when he sees the actual tears in her eyes, her chest heaving, face flushed wonderfully. "May you release me now? I am afraid I have had enough."

"All you had to do, princess." He nips her neck,

drawing a nice little sigh out of her as he gently brings her feet to the ground. "But y'know you love it."

She rolls her eyes when he winks, but she doesn't even try to hide her smile. "Has anyone ever told you that you are too much?"

He rubs his chin, acting all deep in thought. "Hm. Can't say. I think you're the only one who has had the pleasure of witnessing me at my absolute best."

For a second, she's serious. Trying to take in exactly what he said, if he's actually telling her the truth. If she asked, he doesn't know what he'd say. Then her hands are flat on his chest, and it's gone. Her eyes are kind, but he's feeling the need to fill in the silence, somehow.

"So what're you here for? Were you really waiting for me?"

She tilts her head in that sexy way she does. "Who else would I be waiting for?" she says, her finger trailing down his sternum and then his stomach, then back up again, setting a rhythm that's leaving him warm.

"I don't know. I figured you were the type of girl

who takes walks on hidden beaches to think about life and avoid other living beings."

She raises a brow. "I believe you may be that girl," she smirks prettily.

He shrugs. "And what if I am?"

Her laugh is slight and her eyes are glimmering. She cups his face in her palm and presses a firm

kiss to his cheek. "Then I am glad that such a living being exists."

Something kinda fucking crashes down inside of him, but he'd be damned if he let it show. He shoots her another wink and bends down to stroke Eliza's head as she places her paw on his foot.

"Liza wants to head back home. Wanna come?"

"I would love to."

The walk back takes longer than it should. They spend it chasing after Eliza and making each other laugh. It's simple and it's easy. It's like hanging out with the girl you've known forever.

Except he's known her for one summer. It's the longest and shortest it's ever felt. He doesn't know how to forget about it when she's the ghost trailing after him. But he may just be beginning to haunt her, he sees that even when her eyes are as bright as this.

They'll keep getting back to square one if he keeps on allowing it — or maybe square two. One was where she was ready to kick his ass.

Two is where she's sitting on his bed, the juice of the black cherries he set out in a bowl running down her chin. He saw her and that's when he began to crave them.

"These are… divine," she says, awestruck, licking her lips and then her hand, her golden skin stained.

"Never had cherries before, huh?" He pops another into his mouth. Damn, these are the absolute best right now.

"No… I have never had anything like them… I love the color!" She sucks her finger into her mouth, and as much as it turns him on, it also makes something spark somewhere in his chest and he swallows it down before it explodes.

"Yeah," he quirks a brow and reaches for her hair. "I like red, too." He tugs at it once, twice, until she smacks his hand away.

"Not nice," she pouts. He leans in and sucks it away, her lips even sweeter than they already are.

"I know."

"And yet…"

"And yet."

Her smile is languid as she shakes her head slowly, almost disbelieving. She looks like she's made of hearts, her lips as rosy as her halo of hair, some shit that reminds him that she's actual royalty.

And god. God, how did he get her here?

"You are truly…" she begins, coming closer, palms on his chest and pushing him back softly. "...unlike anyone I have ever met."

Then there's pressure on his ribcage, and he lets it slide down to his sides. He lets her press into the bruise there, but he betrays nothing. He never looks away from her. Not even when she scrapes her nails right under the hem of his shirt, not even when that feels that good.

"I've been under the impression that you know some pretty interesting people," he says low, pulling at a loose strand of hair before tucking it behind her ear. He liked it when she had his flower there. It's dead by now, definitely.

"I do." She reaches over and brushes her fingers through his hair, through the strand of white. "But I do not know you as well as them."

He furrows his brows, just barely smiling. "Think you don't know me?" he says, tucking his arms behind his head and leaning back against the wall.

"What do you tell me?" She stretches her neck and inches towards him.

"What do I show you?"

His expression goes taut as she walks her first two fingers up the line of his stomach. He's staring at her so intently that the world around her blurs out. Every movement of hers is deliberate, knowing, tantalizing.

She gets onto her knees and leans into him. Her breath is warm over his lips. "What you do show me, Jason, I do not understand."

"Isn't that part of the fun?" he says, his voice soft but face still hard.

Her lips brush against his. A fire flares through him. "Perhaps at first." She kisses him quick.

"So what's the problem, sweetheart?"

Her kiss lingers this time, but he doesn't kiss her back. "I believe I am missing some things."

"Hmm?" he hums as she lays kisses down his cheek, down his neck.

"Show me again, Jason." She's grabbing at his hair again. Fuck.

"Mmm… how're you gonna make me?"

She straddles his hips and takes his face in her hands, lifting his head so that he's looking up at her. He doesn't mean to wrap his hands around her thighs. It's a habit at this point. He can't not touch her, especially when she's like this.

Even when he's ready to bite.

She laces her hand through his hair and keeps it there, her other stroking his face. She trails it down and lifts his chin up higher with the back of her hand.

"Like this?" she says quietly.

When she kisses him again, he kisses her back. He'll play the game.

He cuts his teeth into her bottom lip and pulls. She groans and he chuckles as he lets go. "You could do better."

She kisses him harder, deeper, like she means it. But it's still not enough. It's not where she could go.

She's always so close. She's close right now, as her fingers snake underneath his shirt and run over his stomach. He's daring her with each look, each time he stills.

"C'mon," he breaths hot into her ear. "C'mon, sweetheart."

"Jason…"

He bends his knees, lifting her higher on his lap. She gasps as he grabs her leg and her back and bites into the dip of her waist, leaving her skin red and stained.

"You're too slow," he murmurs before throwing her back onto the bed and climbing on top of her. "This is all you're gonna get tonight…"

"Is it?" she says plainly, but shes sighing again as he kisses her stomach.

"Mhm," he hums, and the vibration on her skin makes her shimmy her hips. That's when he pulls back and sits up.

It kills him that she's surprised he left her cold. He almost wants to laugh.

"Have you ever had a mango?" he says, walking to the kitchen, leaving her stunned and alone.


He doesn't expect to find Raven on the roof, but he's not entirely surprised.

His body is exhausted but his mind hasn't shut off since this morning. He can barely eat because of it, his stomach churning every time he recalls what happened, which has been about every other minute.

"I'm fine," she croaks, her back turned to him.

He smiles awkwardly. "I wasn't gonna ask."

"But you want to know, don't you," she says it like it's a statement. And she's right.

"Yeah… but I swear… I wasn't going to." He shifts from foot to foot, the breeze cooling the heat in his body. "If you wanna be alone, I'll leave."

He waits for her to reply, just in case. Or just out of respect. He's trying not to treat her any differently, but it's a little hard when he feels like shit that she got hurt.

So he stands there, hands in his pockets, wondering if leaving is actually the best option right now. She usually wants to be alone, why would she want his company? Especially when—

"I don't mind," she says, her voice practically carried by the wind. He doesn't think he heard her correctly, but he takes his chance and walks over to her, keeping a safe distance inbetween before sitting down.

"Just tell me if I'm bothering you. And I-I'll leave." Damn, why is he stuttering?

She sighs before pulling her hood down. She looks… tired. "You're not."

"Okay… that's good…" he mumbles.

"Stop talking like that."

He snaps his gaze to her, eyes wide. She doesn't even look his way as she says, "You know how."

She doesn't need this from me right now.

He forces his body to relax, forces his breath to even out. He doesn't let himself speak until his back and shoulders are slouched forward. "You're right," he says. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

That's when he realizes that she's sitting directly on the ground. "Were you meditating?"

"I was trying to," she says, her voice growing soft. "I can't focus for too long."

"That sounds…" he scowls as he searches for a word that could possibly be relevant. "...frustrating."

"Yeah," she sighs. "It is."

"How long have you been trying?"

He watches her shut her eyes, the slightest hint of… pain? Of something sad cross over her face. But it leaves as soon as it comes. "Hours," she states plainly.

"It's almost three now," he says, leaning back onto his hands and facing the sky.

"Is it?" she breathes.

"Allegedly."

He can't help but feel proud that she cracks a smile. It must've been his delivery.

Another breeze sweeps over him, pushing the hair on his forehead back. "I can't sleep either."

"How come?"

Without a beat, he says, "Everything"

He turns back to her, and finds her staring, fascinated by the stars. He hasn't seen her look this young in so long. Right now, they're the age they're supposed to be.

And it doesn't scare him for once. It doesn't make him feel inadequate. It doesn't make him feel small against the world. It just feels… nice.

"But one thing that helped me feel a little better was when Beast Boy came up to me and apologized."

She tenses for a second before looking down, her eyes still wide.

"I mean, I wasn't sure if you knew about our… talk a little while ago," he continues. "But I'm guessing you do?"

Raven nods, almost guiltily. He chuckles at that.

"Did you get it out of him?"

She nods again, and he smiles.

"He was pissed. He's been pissed at me before, but… never like that. And I deserved it." He bends his knees and rests his elbows on top of them, intertwining his fingers together. "I really appreciate his apology. But the fact that he got so mad… for you. I understood it."

He can see the blush creeping onto her cheeks, but he's going to pretend for the rest of his life that he didn't see anything. "I understood it on a visceral level. I already knew I needed to get my shit together, but he made me know. Y'know?"

He takes her silence as is. He's happy that she's even listening.

"'Cause it reminded me that I have great people like you in my life. Who deserve better than what they're getting."

"Robin…" she whispers.

"I know. I'm gonna shut up, I swear. I just wanted you to hear that. And also that I know you don't hold me responsible for what happened today, but I can't help but feel that. So I'm sorry. I failed you in more ways than one."

She looks him in the eye, a grimace in place for all that he imagines she's feeling now. He smiles with gratitude. "Thank you for all that you do."

She furrows her brows upwards and frowns. "Robin…" she says again.

"Yeah?"

"I-I don't…"

"I know. I didn't mean to… make you feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

"No," she says quickly. "No, it's okay."

He tilts his head. "It is?"

She nibbles on her lip and nods. "Yeah. I… thank you for saying that."

He sighs and smiles in relief. "Anytime."

"I'm losing control," she blurts out. "And I'm afraid I'm going to lose myself again."

Dick frowns. "How come?"

"I don't know," she says, clenching her fists. "That's what I've been trying to find out.

The sadness he feels for her almost overwhelms him. He may not know it to her capacity, but he knows the feeling well. He's been helpless against himself too many times.

"Whatever it is… you're not going to be alone."

She looks at him, knowing whatever argument she has, it won't change his mind. She doesn't have to believe right now.

"I'll do my part. I promise. Hell, I think I'm already doing it. It's not much, but… it's somewhere. It's a little better than before."

She nods her head, whether in agreement or encouragement he isn't sure.

"But I've got this feeling that I'm missing something."

She stills at that. It makes his chest twist with the sudden bout of anxiety that bubbles inside of him.

"There's something I'm not seeing, Raven. I need to see it. I need to put the pieces together. I… I need to make everything right."

He stands then, feeling lighter, different. Raven stares at him from her spot on the floor, unmoving, her expression unreadable.

"Thank you for listening to me. Even after everything."

He walks over to the door, turning back once he reaches it. "I'm gonna try to sleep. Good night, Raven."

He hears her faint "good night" and heads to his room.

Things make a bit more sense. Because of this, everything else makes a whole lot less sense. He unlocked one door, only to find another he can't get through. Like some sort of emotional purgatory.

So he doesn't ignore the gnawing at his gut, that something wasn't right. That maybe he wasn't imagining the fear in her eyes.

That there's something he should really, really know.

He lays in bed, his eyes growing heavy despite his racing thoughts. His body is finally giving in.

And as he falls asleep, it's flashes of her that go through his mind.

I promise.

i promise.

i promise