Her body ached and she was tired even after a full quota of sleep. Yawning as the sunlight streamed into the room she winced as she stretched her healing body. Turning around in bed she groaned in annoyance before standing up and stretching her back, all she wanted to do was stretch into outer space and never be seen again. Glancing at her body in the full-length mirror an arrogant Kian had in his room, probably for the sole purpose of looking good and to admire his muscles, she tutted at her thoughts and soon enough she lapsed back into that depressed state she found her mind it. Weird enough it didn't show on the surface but she really did feel low, maybe she was unintentionally trying to hide it from everyone around her. The bruises littered her skin, puce coloured, some fading into yellow and there were some blue ones thrown in there for good measure. It was annoying how she viewed herself as strong and this had happened to her. How did it get this far?
"Jac?" Kian knocks on the door gently, she scrambles back into bed in an attempt to hide her body "You decent?"
"Uh yeah whatever" she mumbles as Kian enters the room, he looked tired causing Jac to feel immediately guilty "Don't worry I'll be out of your hair tonight"
"You don't need to make yourself scarce, you can stay as long as you need" he assures her but Jac just doesn't say anything anyway "You're looking a little pale, are you ok?"
"I don't feel too good" she shakes her head and Kian presses a hand to her head, she didn't feel hot so he walked into the bathroom to grab a thermometer "Ugh I'm not a child Kian"
"But you're carrying one" he points out and she huffs allowing him to take her temperature "You're fine, it might just be-"
"Pregnancy stuff" she gags before shaking her head and rushing into the bathroom, Kian approaches her and takes in her body seeing the bruises "Stop staring and get me some water"
"Yes Naylor" he rolls his eyes before huffing and getting what she requested, "I thought you were only meant to chuck your guts up in like the first three months"
"Maybe it's your presence that is making me hurl" she snaps back at him, he just raises his eyebrows finding it borderline entertaining
"I'm going to get ready for work-"
"You're going into work?" she looks at him, he nods slowly before noting the worry on her face "Ok"
"You can come with me," he says as Jac bites her lip, she didn't really know what she wanted but as soon as Kian bent down in front of her she crumbled and started to cry "Jac, calm down"
"I'm just scared Kian" she cries as Kian brings her in for a hug, she gulps and shakes her head "I don't want him to get to me again, but I do at the same time, I want to help him get better but it's so hard when he does that"
"Then don't help him"
"I feel useless"
"Right get dressed," he says and she shakes her head before storming into the bedroom and shutting the door "Jac, please speak to me"
"I don't want you to leave Kian because Clayton he could be out there, he will want to find me" she frets and Kian just knew stress wasn't good for her right now so he made the executive decision to take out his phone and call in sick "Thank you"
"We can't do that all the time though, we need to get you sorted so we're going to see if I can get you some of your stuff from Clayton's place"
"Yeah ok" she nods slowly, Kian passes her his dressing gown "A bit feminine for someone who's so masculine?"
"Have a bath, just relax and keep calm whilst I make you some food-"
"You can cook?"
"I have many talents far and wide, Naylor" he smirks and she just rolls her eyes at the arrogance dripping off him "Now you have that bath and I will cook you something"
"I'll cook" she narrows her eyes as Kian groans "I won't get food poisoning that way"
"Are you dissing my cooking?" he challenges her and she just scoffs before whacking him playfully, she walks into the kitchen and stretches her back "Is your back ok?"
"I don't know, it just aches" she sighs in annoyance, Kian nods slowly going to massage her back but she flinches away "Get off"
"Sorry, oh Jac, sorry" he frets and she just sighs in annoyance and shakes her head "Sorry"
"Stop apologising I heard you the first time" she snaps taking out a saucepan from the cupboard "You are so unorganised it's like trying to navigate the most unorganised place in the world"
"I'm sorry I don't have the feminine touch" he responds with an irritating smirk, she just glares at him filling the saucepan up with water "Don't get your cast wet"
"Yes I know what I'm doing Kian, please stop hassling me"
"One minute you want me here the next you don't, which one is it"
"It'll be your dead body on the kitchen floor if I have my way with you" she scowls and Kian just nudges her before she sighs tiredly and sits up on the kitchen counter
"I'll leave you to it to cook then we can get some of your stuff or attempt to," Kian says quietly and Jac nods slowly thankful for the support even if Kian was really getting on her nerves, it was weird, almost like old times but even so there was so much hurt on her behalf she was unsure if she would be able to commit to something so soon even if the opportunity was to happen
Nerves heightened as she witnessed Kian drive his car towards the address where she was staying at. Out of reflex and nerves, she gripped onto his knee and he sighed pulling over the car, gently he turned to take her knowing she was so nervous about the possibility of speaking to Clayton or even seeing him. Her eyes were filled to the brim with fear and anxiety and it led her to feel completely different to what she felt once before. Ordering her to stay in the car on the promise he locked it, Jac passed over her keys too nervous to even enter the place she once called home so Kian did it, he had to be strong for her and he was. It was a while since he had gone into the abyss, she shook her head at the thoughts and possibilities that Clayton was actually there but she breathed a sigh of relief when Kian stepped out of the security doors to Clayton's flat armed with numerous bags of clothes and the majority of Jac's belongings, he looked kind of comical and Jac couldn't help but let out a brief giggle of laughter as he loaded the stuff into the car.
"How much stuff do you have?" he groans as Jac smirks at him, it wasn't annoying him as such he just wanted to lift her spirits "I bet none of this even fits you-"
"Oi!" she snaps as Kian looks taken aback by her anger knowing he wasn't really helping the situation "I'll soon fit into it, you did get the maternity-"
"Yes I did, I got the very few maternity clothes you had, yes" he rolls his eyes, he thought of everything and just wanted her to feel comfortable "So what now?"
"You're the one with the answers" she narrows her eyes kind of shocked he hadn't planned ahead "You should go into work Kian-"
"No, I'm staying here with you, you shouldn't be on your own"
"Well I'm not on my own" Jac responds and Kian sighs shaking his head and starting up the car, he drives off "Where are you going?"
"I'm doing what the infamous Jac Naylor would do?"
"And what would she do?"
"Go to work, you're coming with me" he states and Jac opens her mouth to protest but the more she thought about it the more she realised this could be a comfort to her in this crisis, whether or not she would cope would be another matter. She came to a realisation though and an uncomfortable one at that.
"What if Fletch and Sacha see me?" she frets and Kian rolls his eyes at her dramatics, he sympathised with her but they would eventually find out the truth and Kian personally thought it would do her good to talk about everything with the people who cared about her
"Just speak to them, they'll be supportive, they're most likely busy anyway as everywhere seems to be short-staffed so hold on to that" Kian assures her and Jac looked horrified at the thought, the thought of having to admit what had happened to her and how she didn't see the signs
"But what if-"
"Jac trust me, just this once in your icy cold life, trust me"
"I trusted you before" she narrows her eyes and he sighs knowing his promises probably weren't the most concrete but he was damn sure they were probably better than all the promises Clayton had said to her over the past few months
"I know" he replies sadly "But I promise you, they will want to support you"
"Fine" she sighs knowing he was partly right, there was something about coming out of an abusive situation that made you look at things in a new light, in a different way to what you used to before "You're still crap at parking"
"And you could do better?" he challenges her and she smirks swiping the keys off him playfully, he gets out of the car and lets her drive his car, she parks it perfectly "Point proven"
"Hmm I guess there are some things you're crap at" she laughs slightly biting her lip, Kian just helps her out of the car and she smiles at him before raising her eyebrows, she looked taken aback
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah" she gingerly takes his hand and places it across her tummy, his face lights up instantly and Jac smiles softly "We just have to hope your spawn doesn't turn out as arrogant as you with a Canadian accent"
"You're all heart" he responds as Jac grins up at him "You seem happier"
"Yeah" she nods slowly "Happier than I was"
"It's a good thing" he assures her and she raises her eyebrows to challenge his observation "Ok, well, it's almost like a personality transplant I guess"
"Very funny" she rolls her eyes as they enter Holby, she gulps and Kian leads her over to the elevator and they head up to Darwin "I don't want to be sitting around doing nothing"
"You won't be" he rolls his eyes as Jac narrows her eyes "You can do my admin"
"Uh no" she shakes her head in defiance "That's your job, not mine"
"Come on-"
"Well I never, I knew you couldn't keep away from the place"
"You said-" Jac starts glaring at Kian who sighs in response looking at Jac's worried expression, she looks at Fletch then back at Kian before running off into the office, Fletch frowns
"Um..." Kian trails off and Fletch raises his eyebrows with a knowing look "Wash your mind out"
"I'm saying nothing but...is she ok? She seems...different I don't know..." Fletch trails off and Kian sighs knowing it wasn't his place to tell him
"Give her time, it's difficult being back here," he says quietly and before Fletch could say anything else Kian had dipped into the office to console Jac who was rather tearful and panicked
"They're going to know, they all are and they're all going to think I'm weak and stupid for not picking up the phone and calling them, they can't know, no they can't"
"Jac, calm down," Kian says placing his hands gently on her shoulders but she flinches away from him and he immediately scolds himself for being so careless knowing everything she had been through "Sorry"
"No, it's me! It's all me Kian!" she exclaims in annoyance pulling at her hair and shaking her head Kian was so sure it would fall off at some point with the number of times it went back and forth
"Jac it's ok, no one's here, no one's going to hurt you. We want to help you" Kian assures her and Jac narrows her eyes in suspicion before sitting down exhaustedly on the sofa, Kian helps her with her shoes and she puts her feet up on the sofa "Relax, that's it"
"Please make sure no one comes in here" she pleads as Kian smiles slightly and nods, he goes to make sure the door was locked before sitting down beside Jac "What's happened to me?"
"You've been through a lot Jac, its unfair and it's horrible but you have me, I'll help you if you want me to"
"I just want it all to stop" she whispers in disbelief at how exhausted she was "Why did it have to happen?"
"What did he actually do to you?"
"I don't want to talk about it" she shuts him down, her defences were heightening and Kian knew he was pushing it a bit so he called off the interrogation
"I'm sorry-"
"No I'm sorry" she snaps back at him before closing her eyes "It's all my fault-"
"No Jac, this is Clayton's fault"
"No, it's not it's yours"
"Mine?" he exclaims in shock and annoyance at her constant sniping but this was Jac, it's what she does so he let it slide
"Yes yours, if you didn't hurt me like you did if I could have trusted you then I would have stayed and then if I would have stayed then Clayton wouldn't have done the things he did to me. This is your fault"
"Jac, don't do this"
"Shut up Kian" she snipes as Kian approaches her, he gently hooks his arm around her waist and it wasn't long before his lips were on hers but soon after he felt a sharp slap on his cheek "How dare you!"
"Jac-"
"I hate you" she shrieks "I actually didn't think, you know what my words are pointless"
"Jac where are you going? Jac!" he calls as she leaves the room, he sighs in annoyance and soon enough he heard the slow claps of someone near him, turning his head he saw it was Fletch
"What did you do now?"
"You know what the last thing I need is you interrogating me so please just leave it," he says as Fletch raises his eyebrows watching the door to the office shut, Kian sighs knowing it was best to let Jac cool off then attempt to find her, after all, he had all of her stuff didn't he?
