Plans never really worked out, did they? First Jac was happy to follow Kian's plan but with her being so fragile and the memories of Clayton in her head she was working herself up as Kian liked to say, she was panicky and scared of what might happen if she was left alone. Kian tried to compromise, get her to try it but it was excuses all the time and that second where she broke was when he knew he couldn't leave her. Speaking to Jac he decided that during the day she would come into work with him and just laze around in the office whilst he ran Darwin, it made her feel a bit odd and uncomfortable especially with the questions asked by Chloe but even then she was safer than she felt at home. Fletch and Sacha knew about her being there, they had tried to keep it on the down-low and help Kian with distracting Jac but she just wasn't herself and Kian could tell that something was eating her up from the inside out. The only way he could describe the situation was delicate and weird, it was delicate in the sense of Jac feeling internally distressed at the possibility of seeing Clayton just walking around and it was weird because she was just there, not doing anything, not being Jac and it was weirding a lot of people out.
"Let me see?" Jac gestures for Kian to pass her the tablet, he shakes his head and she frowns "Why?"
"Because you don't work here-"
"I used to" she retorts as Kian sighs in annoyance "Fine I'll go and annoy Fletch for a bit then if you won't give me something to do"
"I have something for you to do, I just haven't told you what it is-"
"I don't like surprises" she narrows her eyes full of suspicion and Kian just rolls his eyes passing her a couple of magazines "Seriously?"
"We need to prepare-"
"I haven't even sorted out a place to live yet" she groans in annoyance at the baby magazines he put on the coffee table
"Oh?" he frowns as Jac looks up at him confused all of a sudden "I wanted to ask you something"
"Really?" she deadpans and he sighs sitting beside her, she just looks down at the magazines and skims through them
"Well what are we doing about the baby?" he questions and Jac just pulls a face really confused at what he was going on "Are we co-parenting...do you want me there to help you because you'll be having a c-section, I think we just need to speak about this so I know what you want, you're in complete control"
"Ok well," she starts her heart fluttering at the fact he wanted her to be in control and how he understood she needed it "What do you want?"
"I want access, obviously"
"Right"
"I know we have no chance of getting back together but in those first few weeks I want to be there for you especially as you will be recovering from your surgery"
"Yeah you can be there for the first few weeks," she says quietly kind of disheartened that he didn't think they had a chance, maybe he just didn't want to push it and if she was honest she would hang onto that because neither of them would admit how they felt about each other with the situation being so delicate "It would be a great help"
"So how would we go about doing that?" he asks and Jac just shrugs before her phone goes off, she jumps slightly and stares at it in a trance "Jac?"
"Answer it, please" she begs as Kian sighs seeing it was an unknown number
"It's the midwife," Kian says passing her the phone, Jac breathes out and takes the phone to her ear, Chloe enters the room and Kian shakes his head
"You've got to go, we're due in theatre!" Chloe hisses and Jac ends the call staring into space "We can't cancel this Kian-"
"I'll be there just get it all prepped and stuff like that" Kian says and Chloe rolls her eyes dramatically and shuts the door to the office "What's going on?"
"Uh they want to meet me to discuss the birth plan" she mumbles dropping her gaze, Kian sits beside her and takes her hand "You go and help Chloe, I'll be fine, I just want to have some time to think without you cracking your irritating dad jokes and sarcasm"
"Hey, I thought you liked it!"
"There's a fine line between like and hate Madani" she smirks slightly and Kian just laughs and smiles at her "Go! I'll be fine, I promise"
"Well take it easy, I'll be back as soon as I can"
"Ok" she whispers hearing him leave, she quickly grabs Kian's Holby hoody before leaving the office ignoring the twinges in her back as she went, she got to the elevator feeling agitated, her hands were shaking and her eyes were closed, the door opened on a level she didn't even know, she ran out and gulped at her surroundings before rushing off, she bumps into Sacha unknowingly
"Woah, ok, calm down," he says holding her by her shoulders, she panics and shakes her head before trying to control her breathing "Ok let's get you somewhere safe"
"No I-" she shakes her head and Sacha guides her into the office on Keller, she sits down on one of the seats and Sacha passes her a cup of water
"Drink it nice and slow," he says as Jac picks up the water, she chucks it across the room and Sacha sighs "Ok maybe you didn't want water-"
"Clayton, he's after me" she looks at Sacha and he sighs and shakes his head "Please Sacha, he is after me"
"Ok why don't you just stay here, you're safe no one's going to hurt you or find you here; where's Kian?"
"Surgery," she says quietly as her eyes dart around the room, Sacha nods slowly bending down in front of her "Sorry for bothering you, I won't do it again"
"Jac it's ok" he reassures her and she just shakes her head "Gosh what has he done to you"
"Claytons ruined me, you and I, probably the whole world knows that by now" she responds sadly and Sacha nods with a small smile, Jac gasps and groans slightly at the pain in her back
"Kian said you had a lot of pain" Sacha shakes his head and Jac nods "Do you want any pain relief?"
"They gave me pain relief, it's not strong enough though but because of the baby they're reluctant to give me more in case it affects him-"
"Him?" Sacha smirks and Jac groans before rolling her eyes at him at her slip up "A boy?"
"Yeah Kian conducted a scan, we found out it was a boy," she says quietly and Sacha smiles proudly at her "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm just amazed at how far you've come"
"So sentimental and the last thing I need is sentimentality"
"What do you need then?" Sacha takes her hand and Jac huffs in annoyance, she stands up and rests her hands on the wall causing Sacha to stand by her in case she fell
"No clue" she shakes her head and Sacha raises his eyebrows "I'm serious, I have no clue"
"How's it living with Kian? I bet that's awkward..."
"It's not as bad as you think" she hums thoughtfully and Sacha gasps "What?"
"Are you and him back on?" his eyes widen like an excitable puppy, Jac just laughs at her friend before sniffling as the tears fall "Hey why are you crying?"
"A mixture of pregnancy hormones and dread along with a broken heart" Jac shakes her head at her thoughts, Sacha nods sadly until Kian barges through the door
"There you are!" Kian exclaims as Jac sighs in response going to hug him "You had me worried Jac"
"Sorry I felt like I was being suffocated and I needed to get out" she mumbles into his chest and Sacha raises his eyebrows at the oddness of this situation, seeing the formidable Jac Naylor crumble and melt into someone else's arms was amazing to see and it was new and confusing
"I know," he says softly "But I'm done now so we can go back to the flat"
"Ok" she whispers standing up and gasping, Kian grips onto her body as the tears flow down her face at the amount of pain she was in "Kian"
"I know," he says guiding her over to the seat, he applies pressure onto her back and she just shakes her head "More?"
"It hurts" she pleads with him and Kian sighs knowing that she needed to be on bed rest and this wasn't helping her at all
"Let's just get you home" Kian suggests and Sacha nods leaving the room to collect a wheelchair, Jac glares at his return "It'll relieve the pressure on your back"
"I'm not an invalid"
"You're not going to walk in the amount of pain you're in" Kian tries to reason and as soon as Jac stands she lets out a pain riddled cry before sighing knowing Kian was right so he helps her into the wheelchair "There you go"
"You're both so annoying"
"You wouldn't have it any other way" Sacha tilts his head to the side and he high fives Kian causing them to grin at her
"I'll put that on your gravestone" she mutters and Kian just chuckles before mouthing a thank you to Sacha who nods, he begins to wheel her out of the room and to the elevator "You're such a bad wheelchair driver"
"Would you prefer me or a porter?" he questions and she clenches her jaw and huffs but she doesn't say anything "Thought so"
"Can you tell your son to not kick me because that's what's causing my pain" she comments and snaps at Kian who rolls his eyes knowing she was really annoyed all of a sudden
"Leave him be" Kian responds and pushes her out of the elevator and towards the door of the consultant's office in Darwin, she frowns and hums slightly noticing a bouquet of flowers on the coffee table
"Who are these from?" she questions and Kian frowns watching her get up and have a look in the flowers to see if there was a card, her hands become shaky as she reads it, the card dropping to the floor and that's when it all happened so quick, the anger rising within her body as she threw the flowers onto the floor leaving Kian to console her
"Hey its ok, it's ok Jac"
"No it'll never be ok, he's out there and I can't take it anymore Kian, I just can't take it any longer" she shakes her head and Kian looks at her before picking up the card and reading it "It's him, they're from Clayton. I hate him Kian, I really hate him and he's going to hurt me like I said to you. He won't leave me alone he wants me and won't stop until he's got me"
"Jac I will always be here to protect you," Kian says quietly but Jac continuously shakes her head and closes her eyes before letting out a sob "It'll be ok, I promise you, we need to report this though"
"No Kian, I'm not going through that, I can't go through that, what will they think of me? Everyone will know then"
"Jac if you get another bouquet from him then we need to go to the police, I want you to be safe and I want the baby to be safe"
"I don't feel safe anymore Kian and I haven't in a long time," she says before gasping and bending over in pain again, Kian guides her over to the sofa and sits her down on it, she stares at the messed up bouquet on the floor wishing all of this would stop
"It's going to take time Jac" Kian whispers to her as he sits beside her and she shakes her head "It will but you have so much support behind you, you have me, you have Fletch, you have Sacha and we want to help you come through the end of this-"
Her lips crashed against his and he frowned slightly as he accepted the kiss, her hand moving to his jaw as her thumb caressed the skin of his cheek, he pulled away knowing this was wrong and she was vulnerable; now wasn't the time.
"You and I both know you are not in a position for this," he says gently and Jac just scoffs before standing up again "Jac you need to sit down please"
"Ok fine!" she exclaims "Kian you don't know me, you don't know how I feel-"
"Then speak to me please, I want to help," he says to her and she just looks at him with tears in her eyes
"You can't help me Kian, there's no forgetting some of the things Clayton did to me, no forgetting-"
"I'm not asking you to forget-"
"You don't get it!" she exclaims clearly hurt by this entire situation "You will never get it Kian because you're not me!"
"Then help me understand" he responds softly convinced he was cracking her but she just looks at him and gulps at his appearance but she softened slightly as she looked at him
"I just want to feel like me again" she whispers, it was barely audible and Kian gently took her hand and squeezed it gently causing her to wrap her arms around his body "When will I feel like me again?"
"These things just take time," he says quietly and Jac nods with a small smile "Things will get better Jac, I promise you"
"I hope so," she says into his chest and he just sways her gently in his arms their bodies moving side to side in a gentle soothing rhythm and finally Jac was allowing Kian to calm her for the long road ahead...
