Joffrey's a great guy. What's with all the hating on him, hm?!


Winter. Ey, winter! A cold and sadistic time of year, when the spring trees and the animals are bullied by the lovely frozen frosts. A fair time for a cruel harvest of pain!

Putting his feet up and leaning back(Which resulted in a nasty prick) Joffrey gazed out a window upon King's Landing. 'Heh, more like King's Dying.' Joffrey reflected upon Robert, the last ruler. 'What an incompetent fool. His death was a fortune for all of us'. 'All of us' referring to the Lannisters, of course.

A sly grin spread across Joffrey's face as he recalled something. "Servant!" He barked out to a bewildered man. "Fetch me Sansa! And do it quickly..." The servant rapidly rushed off to preform his task, for disobeying the King was an... unwise mistake, to say the least.

Once again he leaned back (Proving again to be a bad move) and waited. Finally, the servant reentered with Joffrey's betrothed. She stepped forward to face him.

"I've decided to hold an event in the palace~" Joffrey began with glee. "And it is the sort to which you, being a lady, ought not to attend. So~" He paused. "I've decided you shall be staying outside the palace. But you shall not be allowed to stay in any building in King's landing, of course, for this pathetic city is no place for someone as respectable as you."

"Then where shall I stay, your majesty..?" Sansa Stark asked.

"That~" Joffrey began. "Is none of my concern. Remove her from my presence!"

The guards brought Sansa from the room, and Joffrey smiled smugly as he imagined her in the frigid, unbearable cold. If she couldn't handle it, she would die. But Joffrey didn't care for her anyway, so what did it matter?

For the third time, he leaned back. He let out a yelp as one of the blades pierced him. Blood! It was so undignified to bleed. This throne should have learned its manners.

Casting a glare at the crudely-forged blades that lined the back of the Iron Throne, Joffrey muttered, 'Who would make a chair out of swords, anyway?' He touched his cut and glanced back at the red liquid smeared on his fingers.

A crash could be heard nearby. The window was smashed, and by it lay a lamp. A genie lamp! Joffrey had no idea what it was, though.

Despite his high status, Joffrey brought himself to preform the task of getting up and grabbing the item. He sat down again, pricking himself once more.

Looking at a scratch upon his arm, Joffrey spat, "I wish there was a way to deal with all this blood!" A bit of blood was smeared upon the lamp. That could be considered polishing the lamp, right? The genie took the initiative!

"Your wish..." Murmured a voice. "Is granted!" A tall, gaseous, blue figure arose from the brass cup. Joffrey jerked back with surprise, once again receiving several nasty cuts. "W-who are you?" Joffrey blubbered.

"I am... Charlie Ronald Galaxy-boy!" The genie exclaimed enthusiastically.

"You're what?!" Joffrey spat, staring.

The genie winked. "Just kidding; My name is Ronald."

Joffrey, for once, was speechless.

"What you should say," The genie declared. "If you have no other words, is... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

"WHAT?"

"The word to say when you have nothing else to say!" Ronald exclaimed. "But being practically perfect is not my business(I'm all perfect!) so I'm just going to grant your wish!"

"What is going on?! Explain your-!" Joffrey was interrupted as a hole opened in space-time. A worm, momentarily, was visible. A strange wishing sound could be heard, and a man, dressed in black, leapt out of the portal.

"Who is this?" Joffrey shouted with fear. "Guards!"

"They will not hear you!" The genie exclaimed happily. "You are lost, now."

The intruder from the wormhole grabbed Joffrey. "You're coming with me, bae." He whispered. The man leapt with the terrified King back through the portal.

And they landed in the town of Forks.


May I suggest to post some reviews? And tell me if you disagree about what a nice guy Joffrey is. Thanks for reading!