Heh. No reviews, huh? I guess none of you could find anything wrong with our good friend, Jo.

Go right ahead and try. You'll fail.


"Let go of me!" Joffrey wriggled, slipping from the man's grasp. The stranger grinned fangless-ly.

"My, are you a cutie!" He said. "My name is..."

"I couldn't care less who you are!" Joffrey screamed in his face. "All I want you to know is that you shall be killed."

He grinned. "My name is Edward Cullen. And I shan't be killed... for I hath been killed already!"

Joffrey frowned. "What?"

He eyed Joffrey's cuts. "Oooooh~ You look so... delicious!"

Joffrey kicked him and ran. This was the most terrifying moment of his life! Except for when he'd been attacked, unprovoked, by Arya Stark and her stupid direwolf.

Edward followed, licking his lips. "MUST DRINK BLOOD!" He exclaimed. "Must be FRESH!"

Joffrey raced away like a fat rabbit, bounding as fast as he could. Suddenly Ronald flew out of the lamp, which had somehow gotten into Joffrey's pocket.

"Now now now!" He shouted, cheerfully. "Don't go biting Joffrey! You only drink animal blood, remember?"

"MUST BE HUMAN BLOOD!" Edward screeched. His eyes flashed as he turned into a bat-! Except he didn't because he couldn't.

"AAAAHHHH!" Joffrey charged straight into a wall and collapsed.


Later, Joffrey awoke.

"Ooooohhhhh..." Joffrey groaned. He shifted and looked up. Soft eyes were looking into his and- AAAAAAHHHHH!

What was he thinking? EWWW!

"Get away from me, y-you-!" Joffrey writhed in agony. He let out another scream and rose to his feet, eyes boiling with rage as his personality twisted.

He grew taller. His hair grew a little longer, into a more handsome style. His grin flashed. Then he popped back to normal.

"You're doing a good job, Joffrey." A man without a shirt said. "But no man can resist the charms of Bella..."

Joffrey stared with shock at shirtless man.

"They call me Jacob. Jacob Black." He explained. "I'm Bella's boyfriend."

Joffrey gasped. He gasped because he felt jealousy.

Jacob stepped nearer to him. "No man can resist to charms of Bella, Joffrey Baratheon."

Joffrey stumbled backwards. "No- NO! You're- you're- you're LYING TO ME!" He turned away.

"Joffrey." Said Bella. "There is no reason to be ashamed. In my universe, everyone loves me."

Jacob, Edward, and all the others nodded.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Joffrey stumbled backwards.

"Actually," He amended. "You are kind of cute- WAIT A MINUTE HELP!"

His heart fell for her, then climbed back out, then fell again! He was really struggling. Joffrey had never fallen in love before, and he didn't intend to start now!

"Stay away from me, woman!" He screamed. "RONALD, SAVE MEEEEE!"

"Is that your wish?" The genie inquired.

"YES YES JUST SAVE ME FROM THIS FIEND!" His eyes turned to her for a moment, then he tore his gaze away.

"Very well!" Ronald exclaimed. "I HAVE GRANTED YOUR WISH!"

A rumbling could be heard on the horizon.


He he he...