Chapter 1: Reality is hard

Katniss opens her eyes. For a few seconds she's still in the space between sleeping and being awake, where you feel like everything is alright and possibly better.

But then she enters reality and it hits her hard.

Today is the first day of her press tour to honor the winners of the last hunger games. She has to attend every single interview and speech, because she won.

That's her main problem.

All the time in the arena she was just trying to survive and didn't let anything to heart. Every single time she would have been terribly hurt. Sadly she didn't manage to reach that goal.

She let Peeta near her, now he thinks that they have a chance to be together. Like a real couple. Definitely something she regrets. She has to be the star. The one who saved her love and her own life.

Everybody is expecting something from her, but she can't fulfill their wishes.

Today they will start in district 11. Of course there is a logical reason, to work from one district to another, in the reversed order of their numbers, But still she feels like Snow wants her to live through the pain again she felt as she lost Rue.

At least that's what he should think.

Maybe the day would bring some surprises with it...

She stands up and gets into casual clothes. A few small shocks remind her that she's already at the train. On her way to the first speech. And at least three interviews.

She rolls her eyes and sighs. Why does this have to be her fate? Can't she trade it?

Of course she knows that this is not part of the possibilities this world offers, but she would do almost anything to get away from it.

Like never hunt again. That would be a fair sacrifice. But it won't work, so she drifts away, daydreaming about a big deer she would hunt down, as soon as she is home again. Together with Gale…

He is her best friend for as long as she can remember. They always were there for each other and still are. After Katniss' father passed away he was the first to know and one of the only persons that helped her to move on. Thanks to him, she was happy.

He is the big brother, she never got biologically.

But she thinks that he doesn't feel the same towards her. Of course she knows that he saw her as a friend in the beginning. Later as the sister she wanted to be, but now she feels like something has changed.

His feeling.

Towards her.

She sighs again. Another guy who loves her, which she can't love back. She'll disappoint everyone. Why does she have to be like that?

But at least Gale is one of the nice guys. He is one of the most important people in her life, next to her mother and Prim. And next to Haymitch, Effie and Cinna maybe. These three helped her through the hard times at the game, so they now almost felt like family.

Yes, Peeta wasn't on the list.

She needed him to survive. And now she's a target of every single media in whole Panem. She never wanted that. And now she has to cope, even if she doesn't want this either.

And what no one knew, in privacy, without the cameras, he was an asshole. She always wonders how he manages to seem like a nice cute little boy as long as it was useful, but as soon as there was no one around he had to impress, he switched to an arrogant, bossy, and really unsustainable.

And now they had to play the perfect couple again. Every day. For weeks. One last sigh and she shakes her head, putting on her "look how great I am, I won" –face.

Cinna was waiting with a new set of dresses. It would be amazing. And probably her last great moment of today.

With a deep breath she opens and walks to the atelier.