A/N PeetaBkedFinnickF1shed: Thanks a lot! I'll be posting more chapters very soon.
Chapter 4: The responsibility of knowing
Katniss stumbles on the stage. She's still angry at Finnick, but her speech comes first, so she has to cope. She asked to do it alone, because she didn't want Peeta to be with her. But at the moment Katniss stands in front of all the people, she wishes someone were there to hold her hand and give her hope.
But as she looks to the crowd she realizes that she is not alone. Effie blows her a kiss, Haymitch gives her a thumbs up and Cinna smiles bright and bows a little, to remind her that she is the queen of the situation right now. This is her chance to do the right thing.
Her gaze wanders over to the people, waiting for her to speak as the smile comes back to her face. She is the one to give this people hope. Right now, right here. She owns their attention. She see's Finnick at a wall, mocking her with a raised eyebrow. She gives him a look that definitely should have killed him and then concentrates on the words she's about to say.
"Hello, you might expect something big from me right now. You already know how these speeches work, you have heard too many of them already. But I won't tell you what you've always been told. That has already happened too many times."
She smiles at the crowd. They really look like they liked it so far. That gives her the courage she needs to go on.
She doesn't look at her friends, she knows they look surprised. That's not what Effie prepared. She just gave out the speech she promised not to give.
Taking a deep breath, she continues. "I am sorry for you loss, I really am. I was there, I saw them die, and both Rue and Thresh had had saved my life. I went there to save my sister from dying, but they died. I'm sure that's not fair. No child should die under such circumstances. No one should. We left the dark days behind us, but we created new ones."
Looking around it seems like she's using the right words. "These games were special, there were two winners. Why? Because it is impossible to come out of there without any winners. But there are no winners. Not at all. They are survivors, the ones who saw and did bad things to survive.
Some people in the crowd start to cry. "Maybe I'm not supposed to be here right now. Maybe I should have been one of the tributes that dies in the games. I lost in another way. I will always remember every moment of my time in there. I won't forget the sacrifices that were made for me. I won't forget the times I almost died in the games and the people who tried to kill me."
She looks up and raises her voice. "I won't forget. Like you I will never forget the pain and the loss. We will mourn together. But we must live for them! Everyone I saw dying…it's not my life anymore. I owe it to them. Every second, every day. I wouldn't be standing on this stage if it wasn't for them! And I will try my best to be good enough!"
She bows a little and leaves the stage. The crowd was still emotional, captured by the words she had said.
Katniss reaches Effie and takes her arm and pulls her away. Effie protests but she can't do anything. They stop as they reach a quiet corner on the roof.
On their way they had passed Finnick, which annoyed Katniss a little. But right now, Effie is being extremely annoying.
"Katniss Everdeen! Do you know how long it took me to get in that dress? Not to talk about all the makeup! I didn't do that to hide away from everyone who could admire this outfit! And the same is to say about you, you…" She stops and see's Katniss facial expression. Broken.
So she just lays an arm around her and whispers "Come one, please don't cry…that would ruin one of Cinna's masterpieces" Katniss laughs a little. "You were amazing, now take a break. You deserve it." Katniss nods and sits down. Effie turns around to go back to the show.
"Oh look, isn't that the handsome from four?" she asks
Indeed Finnick just entered the roof. He looks around and his eyes meet Katniss's.
He clears his throat and begins to talk.
A/N What can I do to improve it? Please review.
