Chapter 1 Chapter Text
Sirius Cassiopeia Black is quite aware that she is probably the most sought after student in Hogwarts and quite frankly she could pull any student that catches her attention. She's bloody gorgeous and that's just the fact of life. So if someone told Sirius a year ago that she would one day be the one pining over some guy, she would've laughed at their face and tell them to keep dreaming. But right now, she's not so sure.
This is because a certain boy with messy hair and glasses seem to be so keen on twisting her insides and turning it into mush. This boy isn't just some ordinary boy either. It just HAS to be the most sought after guy at Hogwarts, James Potter. He isn't just a good looking athletic guy or a talented student either. He is both of those and a lot more. He's a budding quidditch star with a wicked sense if humor and, regardless of what some people may say, he is also a gentle and selfless friend.
As if Sirius hasn't already established that James is completely out of her league, he is also her best mate so Sirius is also quite aware that her best mate is also quite taken by a certain redhead in their year, Lily Evans. Of course, this doesn't really mean much seeing as Evans seem to think of James as nothing more than an arrogant toe rag. Still, all things considered, regardless of what Remus and Peter like to say about Sirius's non-existent self preservation ability, Sirius decided that admitting her feelings to James and risk rejection would be a stupid idea.
This, obviously, does not mean that she can't fantasize about him and imagine his warm gaze on her the way the boy would often lay his hazel eyes on Evans or how he would protrude his plump lower lip as he pouts after being rejected by Evans for the nth time or how his dark hair is tousled at just the right amount that made him look like he just got off his broom after a sick wronski feint. Oh, how she would LOVE to run her fingers through his soft locks-
No. Sirius shook her head to clear her thoughts as her mind quickly crashes back to reality. She looked around trying to make sure that no one saw the mushy expression that was undoubtedly just on her face a moment ago. Seeing as the common room was mostly empty given that it was a late Tuesday night, she was pretty sure she didn't catch anyone's attention.
Just as she was about to let out a sigh of relief, a voice echoed from the staircase to the boys' dormitories.
"Sirius?"
Sirius turned towards the voice to find Remus Lupin looking at her with one eye brow raised.
"What's up with that dreamy expression of yours? I've been trying to get your attention for a while now. If I didn't know better, I'd say you look quite lovestruck." Remus teased as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.
Sirius, having not expected Remus to notice, said nothing as she felt her face flush.
Remus blinked at the new development because no one in their four years at Hogwarts have ever seen Sirius so much as color from embarrassment. Most would even go as far as to say that Sirius does not have the ability to be embarrassed because she simply couldn't care enough about what people say. Even the horrible howler in first year did nothing but made her eye twitch in annoyance.
"Is there something you want to share with me?" he asked as his expression slowly changed into a teasing smirk.
"I- nothing. It's nothing." Sirius squeaked.
This only made Remus raise his eyebrows even further because the thing is, Sirius DOESN'T squeak. Ever.
"I don't believe that for a second. Come on, you know you can tell me anything." Remus said with an encouraging smile.
Remus continued to stare questioningly at Sirius but when she showed no intention to respond and continued to avoid his eyes, he suddenly gasped.
"Is our little Padfoot finally falling for a guy?" Remus guessed.
Sirius continued to feel her blush creeping up to her face so she turned away and pretended that she hadn't heard him. However, this did nothing to discourage Remus as his eyes widened and his expression slowly changed into a wicked smirk.
"It is, then. I can't believe our little Padfoot is all grown up now" Remus said while pretending to wipe away his fake tears.
"S-Shut it, you tosspot." Sirius glared.
"Aw, you know I'm just messing with you." Remus said in a suspiciously cooing tone.
"So, who's the lucky sod?" He continued with a gleam in his eyes.
"Go away, there's no lucky sod." Sirius tried in a very small and unconvincing voice. Remus merely raised an eye brow in a way that is usually reserved for when he wants people to stop bullshitting him.
"Fine." Sirius sighed. "But promise you won't tell?"
"My lips are sealed." Remus nodded assuringly.
Sirius raised her eyebrows, obviously not believing him.
"I swear! I mean I'm not suicidal." Remus said while raising his arms.
Sirius snorted and rolled her eyes before turning away.
"It's J-James." Sirius muttered.
"Y-you... JAMES?" Remus's eyes widened.
"I know. It's stupid." Sirius looked down to her hands on her lap.
"No, I didn't mean- It's just unexpected." Remus stuttered.
Sirius just sighed.
"So what are you gonna do about it? Will you tell him?" Remus asked cautiously.
"Nah. What good would it do? It's best I just get over it than to risk our friendship. He's my best mate and I don't want my- my feelings to mess that up." Sirius feigned a casual expression as she turned back to face Remus.
"How are you so sure that it would mess up your friendship? You are best mates for a reason. He won't just throw all that away just because you started catching feelings." Remus replied reasonably.
"I still can't risk it." Sirius sighed. "Besides, it's not like it matters. We're already attached to the hip as it is. I'm grateful to be spending time with him already... even if it's not in the way that I would prefer."
It is with that thought that Sirius rose and bid Remus goodnight before heading upstairs to the girls' dormitories.
