Sara- Thank you! I'm posting every Sunday! I plan to keep going for a while :)


I should've known my friends would notice the change, they called my ass out almost immediately lmao. God, they're so smart and I love them so much it hurts. And E… he came out to his insane mom, that's why he said what he did. I forgave him, yeah, because he freaked out so bad while he was apologizing he had a asthma attack. But it makes me wonder, if he can come out to his mom, I can come out to my parents… idk, staying in the closet seems like a GREAT idea if you ask me. Anyways, I'm nervous as all fuck because the choir director wants me to sing at a fundraiser thing and I don't know if I should. Thoughts?


Thursday, November 30, 2017

Richie should've known that changing all of a sudden like that would have been suspicious, so he decided to slow it down some, using the more subtle nicknames, like Bevvie, Stanny, Mike, Billy, Ed, and Benny. Yeah, okay, those were just simple, not as thought out nicknames that everyone else calls each other, and he could hardly stand calling them anything other than his nicknames, but he did. He continued putting gel in his hair, because he did actually like that, and he still wore his band shirts but he didn't wear anything other than a plain jacket or hoodie over them. He kept the mom jokes to a minimum, probably one a day, and tried not to cuss as frequently as usual. He made a small change everyday until their three day (technically five, counting the weekend) break for Thanksgiving, and on the days that they were all together, he still made changes. Usually talking a little less, or saying one less joke, or not saying a mom joke at all.

Besides the subtle changes he made everyday, which was hard to do, he had another thought on his mind. The fundraiser thing Mrs. Gandy was talking about. One day, he'd be all for it, the next he'd be completely against it, and he didn't want to bring it up to the Losers because they'd probably think it was a bad idea, that he'd sounds like an idiot when he talks, let alone when he sings, even though none of them have ever heard him.

He made a decision the Thursday after Thanksgiving, only a couple days before the audition, which was on Saturday. When the bell for lunch rang, he went straight to the choir room, where Mrs. Gandy was sitting at her desk, no student in sight. She looked up when she heard footsteps and smiled as Richie meekly poked his head in.

"Hey, got a minute?" He asked.

"Of course. Come, sit down." She gestured to the chair in front of her desk and he did as he was told, dropping his bag next to him. "What's up?"

"I, um, I want to audition on Saturday." She smiled so wide her teeth showed, which was a rare sight, as she'd told him that she didn't like her teeth either, but that was because they were crooked. He loved her teeth, if you asked him.

"Really?" He nodded.

"But… I don't know what to sing." He said, finally. "I've been having a internal battle whether or not to audition, along with what song I would do if I did."

"Okay, well, what are the songs you want to audition with? It can be anything."

"Um, Chasing Cars is one of them, but I don't know. Um, I was thinking either Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson, Please Don't Go by Joel Adams and Not In That Way by Sam Smith."

"Hmm, I've heard all of those except Please Don't Go. Could you maybe sing a little for me?" She asked.

"Uh…" He rubbed his hands on his jeans and nodded. "Yeah, I can." He stood and went over to the piano, and sang half of the song before stopping, his cheeks bright red, and looked at Mrs. Gandy, who had her hands clasped over her chest.

"Richie, Sweetie, you shouldn't do that song for your audition." He furrowed his brows in confusion. "You should sing that at the fundraiser itself." He grinned a wide grin at her, and she grinned right back. "That was amazing, Richie. Honestly, the humming? Holy shit, excuse my language." He chuckled.

"Thanks." He blushed.

"No, thank you for blessing my ears today. I think you should sing Chasing Cars for your audition. You could sing Cotton Eye Joe," He laughed at that," and still get in, but I loved the way you sang it the other week." She smiled at him, and he nodded.

"Okay, I can do that. Um, how many other people are auditioning?"

"You and another girl." She replied breezily. He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, not many people want to do this kind of thing, so me and the judges decided that, those who wanted to, could sing two or three songs. There's only six people on the list now, and probably eight after Saturday, depending on if she can sing."

"Who is she?" He asked.

"I can't tell you. She doesn't want anyone to know. But you do know her." He raised an eyebrow. "You've talked to her before, if that narrows it down." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh very funny." He replied sarcastically and she laughed. "You're right though."


Friday, December 1, 2017

Richie was nervous as all hell the rest of Thursday and all day today, and couldn't sit still, constantly tapping his fingers or bouncing his knee. At the end of the day, Richie and Eddie were on the way to his truck, after saying goodbye to the rest of the Losers, when Bev ran up to them.

"Hey Rich, can you give me a ride?" She asked. "I forgot that Ben rode with Stan today and they don't have enough room with the other two."

"You could always sit in Ben's lap." Eddie said, raising an eyebrow at her. She flipped him off. Richie chuckled.

"Yeah, come on." He told her, hopping into the truck.

After they dropped Eddie off, Bev climbed into the front instead of getting out and getting back in through the door.

"I can do this because I'm small." She told Richie, when he gave her a weird look. He snorted.

"Just imagine me trying to do that."

"You wouldn't make it, that's for sure." She settled comfortably, putting her seat belt on. "So, I lied."

"Huh?"

"I didn't need a ride home."

Oh shit, is she gonna ask about me acting different? Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck-

"Can I stay the night?" She asked. He blinked and looked at her.

"Oh. Uh, yeah, Alvin giving you trouble?"

"When isn't he?" She muttered. "Yeah. I can't wait until I'm eighteen." She sighed.

"I'm sorry. You know you can stay whenever you want. Mom and dad love you." She smiled at him.

"I know, it's not your fault. He'll get suspicious if I stay for more than a night or two away from the hell house. And I love them too." He bit his lip.

"I wish they could do something." He said. "They probably could, dad knows people." She raised an eyebrow, but shook her head.

"I'd have to go into the system or something if he was to get arrested or something. I'd be able to live with my aunt in Portland but I'm not leaving you guys."

"I'd rather you live farther away than with him."

"I know, but you guys mean too much to me." He gave her a small smile.

Richie's parents were home when they arrived, which surprised Richie as they usually weren't home until around six. Bev noticed too, and looked at him, but he just shrugged and got out. He opened the door.

"Ma! Dad! We're home!" He called as the two yelled,

"Surprise!" He jumped a little at the fact, and his eyes widened when he saw the grand piano between them.

"Holy shit." He whispered. The two were grinning from ear to ear.

"We told you a couple weeks because we wanted it to be a surprise." Went explained.

"Come on, come try it out. We want you to be the first to play." Maggie said, smiling at him. Then she noticed Bev, who looked confused, but was smiling. "Hey, Bev! Are you staying the night?"

"If it's okay with you two." She said, biting her lip.

"Of course, kiddo." Went said. "Richie, get your ass over here and play something for us." Bev pushed Richie towards them and he stumbled a little, sending her a glare, which she snickered at. He ran his hand over the top of the piano as he rounded it, the top smooth and cool against his fingers. He sat on the bench, fingers hovering over the keys.

"He's never been speechless like this before." Maggie whispered to Bev.

"I didn't know he played." She whispered back, her jaw dropping slightly as he began playing. She recognized the song, but couldn't remember the name of it. He played a small bit of it, and stopped, looking at the three.

"Thank you." He said, looking between his parents. "I… I didn't expect it to be this one."

"Like we said, surprise!" Went did jazz hands and Richie laughed.

A few hours later, after the four had had dinner, Richie and Bev were sprawled out on Richie's bed, watching a movie on his computer when Bev said,

"Hey Rich?"

"Hm?" He paused the movie and turned his head slightly so he could look down at her, where she rested her head on his shoulder, looking up at him.

"I, uh…" He swallowed, waiting for her to speak.

Did I do something wrong? I thought everything was going good. I probably called her a nickname without realizing it-

"I just wanted to say thank you, for being you." She said, finally. "For caring and letting me stay here. And… I feel like I don't say it enough, but… I love you, Richie. You're one of the most important people in my life."

"You're gonna make me cry, Bevvie." He said, voice shaking just barely. He swallowed again as she let out a small giggle. "But I love you too. You're the sister I never had, never thought I'd have. You're my best friend. I say that about all of you but... I'm pretty sure it's you." She grinned at him.

"You're my best friend too, Rich."