Mending what has been broken
"The king request your presence in the dining hall my queen."
"Please tell him I am feeling unwell and am unable to attend."
"The king told me you would answer as such, but told me to insist or he would come to drag you himself." I dismissed the guard with a flick of my hand and pondered for a moment if I should let the king drag me to the feast like a mere slave to his every whim or if I should answer to his demand.
Let's just say, things haven't been going so smoothly since the incident in the hall in front of the children and Thranduil has never been as demanding as he is now. He used to call me to his chambers at night simply for sex. Now he demands me earlier in the evening and sits by the fire in silence for a long while reading, sometimes asking me to play the harp for him, before taking me to bed. We barely talk. I still leave when the deed is done and return to my chambers.
I know he wish for forgiveness because he knows deep down he has wronged me but there is just so much you can forgive to someone you do not love and who doesn't love you back. He knows that and hasn't come out of his ways to ask for it. Although the king commands me, I am still the only guardian of my heart and shall give it to whomever I deem worthy.
It's Legolas' birthday today. This is why we are holding a feast. I have missed many of his birthdays in the past decade and I still wasn't counting on attending this one. Unfortunately Thranduil the Great King was requesting, no demanding my presence. I heard Lord Elrond and Celebrian were here for the festivities, couldn't he just leave me be. But then again, impressions on the guest were very important. I don't even know why he bothers, Lord Elrond already knows of my situation, the elf can see whether or not someone is lying, he is even blessed with the gift of sight. He most likely knew before I married Thranduil what my future would be.
Nonetheless, I walked through my wardrobe not entirely sure as what the dress code for the occasion was, for I haven't attended formal diner in a very long time. I decided on a gown from my home. The sapphire blue see through material fell down to the floor and would pool at my feet as I stood. The many layers of fabric made it decent to wear in public as no eyes could actually see through the dress. It was a strapless gown that hugged my figure just under my breasts with mitrhil and pearl embroidered in it while the rest of the dress, was plainly flowing down. I undid my tresses and let my red curly locks fall to the small of my back. I decided on a mithril and sapphire necklace who hugged my neck with little chains loosely here and there. It was from my home as well and made my quite plain dress enhanced by it. I decided to wear the simplest crown Thranduil had offered me, it seemed more like a diadem of leaves than anything else, and at least it would keep my front locks away from my face.
I knew I would mostly stand out at this gathering, not because my look was frivolous, but because it was for elves very simple. They preferred dresses with a lot of embroidery in them, with gold and silver. They would wear very bright color as well and complicated headwear. I gave myself one last look in the mirror and walked toward the great hall.
It was the first time since my arrival and marriage to Thranduil that I was wearing clothes and jewellery from my homeland not because anyone disapproved, but because I was trying very hard to please the people and act as I was one of their own. I don't know what pushed me to dress as such tonight for I hadn't done it in decades, but it made the whole ordeal less painful.
"The Queen!" My announcement was loud and clear as the guest turned toward the grand woodland doors. I had no one to escort me inside so I just fixed my gaze and straightened my back as I walked among the standing guests. I wasn't seeing anyone, as they bowed respectfully on my passing; I could only see his sapphire eyes locked on my figure. I approached him with as much poise as I could gather and curtsy very low in front of him, holding my skirts on one hand so the bow would look more elegant.
"Your highness." He extended his hand for me to take to stabilise myself and this time, I did not dismiss it. With a respective bow of his head to the guest he was currently entertaining he led me to the dance floor. His arm encircled my waist and he pulled me flush against his torso before the song could begin. It was inappropriate to display such closeness but Thranduil knew I couldn't dance his people's way with my current dress as the fabric was too long. He seemed to remember the time he used to court me and I couldn't be more grateful. We were alone on the dance floor as the song began, but after a respectful minute, Elrond and Celebrian joined us and so did lots of couple.
"I am sure you have forgotten to prepare a gift for the prince so I took the liberty to get one ready in your name." This wasn't new, but this time I would be there to give the said false gift to him myself although I have no idea what it is I should be giving the prince.
"And what shall I be giving him my Lord?"
"Our people's horn. It will come in handy as he will leave the castle more frequently now hunting and such. If something ever happens he will be able to call for help."
"It seems that you think very lowly of me my King, but I had indeed prepared a gift for him and was hoping to give it to him later this evening, after the festivities."
"Why would you not give it to him during the party Eveena?" My name seemed foreign coming from his lips. I hadn't heard it in a very long time since we barely even address a word to each other.
"It's a complicated gift."
"It will then be the last gift of the evening, but it will be given during the party and everyone will witness it. Understood?"
"Yes your highness." He probably stiffens or displayed some form of body language at my refusal to address him by his name. Legolas was eyeing me worry written all over his feature and I could really understand why. True he has rarely seen his father and I display affection in public but this could hardly be called affection, it was more like keeping appearances. Elrond wasn't easily fooled though and as the music slowly faded we met up with the said couple.
"My dear Eveena, I have rarely seen the formal gown of your people, it is indeed very lovely."
"Lord Elrond you are kind." I curtsy lightly this time as it is common to show him less respect than to my husband. I would have expected Thranduil to let go of me by now but he was holding my waist possessively.
"We haven't seen much of you in our past visits. Since your elflings have grown up now enough to attend the party, the king couldn't keep you to himself and forbid us of such beauty any longer. Please dance with me." The knowing stare the lord of Rivendell was giving me broke past my entire barriers as I took his hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. He too knew the ways of my people and pulled me against him as we waltz across the room.
"You seem to know more about me than you should lord Elrond."
"I do indeed. How have you been faring these past few years?" I knew lying to him was pointless but honesty wouldn't be good either, so I chose some road of omitting details without creating actual lies.
"Well like you said, with the elflings so young I had my hands full."
"Did it go smoothly with the young prince, the adaptation of a new mother and siblings? We all know he was spoiled by his father."
"Oh do not worry my Lord, Legolas love his two sisters deeply."
"It is good to hear. And what about you, does he love you and treat you kindly?" I had a feeling we weren't talking about Legolas anymore and one look in his gaze confirmed my thoughts.
"It has been more difficult."
"Has? It is better now?" The raised eyebrows and knowing look made me understand he wasn't fooled. As he led me outside to the balcony my resolve in being evasive were slowly weakening.
"Eveena, I know what he did to you and how he treats you. Remember, I have seen his future and yours. Your father came to me before this alliance was made to ensure of his choosing before setting sails to Valinor. I assured him that everything would work out nicely in the end, and it shall. You will have very rough years, but it will brighten somewhere. Try to see the good in him and not just the bad. He is not a man to apology even when his actions or his words deeply hurt others after all, he has been royalty all his life. But he tries to mend what has been broken. I hope with all my heart you will let him."
He left me alone to my own thoughts in the fresh moonlight as the festivities continued. Thranduil chose to appear minutes later and took my hand to escort my through the gardens.
"He tries to mend what has been broken. I hope with all my heart you will let him."
Those words echoed in my head as I let the King guide me toward whichever place we were going. He stopped about a mile away, under the willow tree and pushed me gently against the bark. He took both of my wrists in his and pushed himself against my body whispering with a low growl in my ears.
"What were you thinking, wearing your people's gown to my heir's birthday?" Lord Elrond's words long forgotten, I realised the King was angry of some sort. I didn't thought he wouldn't approve of my dress or my jewellery choice for the evening. I should have worn the deep green one. I couldn't see his face but if the intensity he was holding my wrists was any indicating, I'm sure I would bruise tomorrow. I was about to ask for forgiveness when he brought his forehead against mine and locked eyes with me.
"Do you wish to torment and tempt me all evening Eveena?" It wasn't anger in his eyes, more like lust in the rawest form I had witnessed. He crashed his lips on mine and forcefully demanded entrance which I was too taken by surprise to refuse. My wrists long forgotten, his arms encircled my waist and I went down on the grass floor with him. His hands were roaming my body not gently and in haste, as was his tongue exploring my mouth. My own hands found his long blond locks and took his crown off of his head while his were busy with my necklace. My moaning to the roughness only seemed to please him while his large and strong hand grabbed my thighs with ferocity.
"King Thranduil, we are about to give the presents to prince Legolas." Lord Elrond voice was forceful but not screaming either because he knew, wherever we were, we would hear him with our enhanced senses.
"This elf, I will kill him for sure. He is doing this on purpose." Breathing heavily in my ear he got up from me and extended his hand to help me up. I put the crown back in its place and followed two steps behind him as we were both trying to put our clothing back in order. Elrond had a knowing smile on his face which I wasn't surprised. His words came back to me suddenly. We locked eyes across the room and he raised his glass in my direction.
Legolas was particularly amazed by his first real hunting bow. The weight in the string was much heavier than his previous, but since he was growing into an ellon and wasn't an elfling anymore, he would adapt just fine. His father chose well I guess, it meant that Legolas was growing more independent and that his father would now allow him to roam the wood on his own. I'm sure that meant a great deal to the both of them.
Lord Elrond had given him books about middle earth, much to Thranduil's displeasure. Now he will want to meet dwarves, men and visit the hobbits. Legolas was always one for adventure; hopefully he would keep to the book.
The time for my gift had finally come. Although it would be weird to give it to him in the great hall, Thranduil hadn't given me much of a choice. The king was eyeing me again in his predatory gaze that greatly troubled my internal turmoil. The prince came to me expectantly.
"Mother? Surely you haven't forgotten my birthday right?" I could tell the worry in his gaze. He was now almost as tall as me, and it reminded me how much he had grown without me noticing. A dreadful silence followed and I traced a smile, forgetting the king who was boring a hole through my head from the background.
"No I haven't...althought..." I got closer to him to murmur in his ear so no one would understand "the great hall isn't the place for such a gift, come with me..." We exited together and he followed me down the stairs until we were close to ground level.
"Close your eyes Legolas."
"Awww...come on this is silly, I'm not an infant anymore." I only gave him a raise of my eyebrow, clearly telling him to close them or I would give nothing to him. He finally consent to my request and stood very still, eyes closed.
"Now give me a minute I should be right back" I went into the edge of the forest and whistled very loudly. I have to admit, the noble elves behind Legolas all seemed quite curious of what was going on, and so did his father. Small vibrations could be felt under our feet. And then, two heads emerged from the dense forest, a bay and a beige one. I ignored the lighter one and whispered some words in the ear of the other. The two of them completely walked out of the forest and into the small gardens. Gasps were heard. They followed me, head high parading their glistering mane and tale.
"Alright now you can open them." His face was priceless, he knew it just wasn't any horse, it was two member of the great Mideras horses, blessed with long lives, kings of their kind. He walked slowly towards us eyeing the beautiful beasts warily.
"How? How did you bring them here? Those horses, they cannot belong to anyone, how can they answer to you?" I smiled at his curiosity and started my explanation gently.
"Mideras horses do not belong to anyone for that you are right young one. Although, if you create an everlasting bond with one of them, they will answer your call from anywhere on earth, as any friend of yours would. This, I put my hand on the neck of the darker horse being the cherry bay mare, is Elonidas. We meet before your father and I got married. It is common among my people to create bonds with them when one comes of age; after all we are the elves of the northern plains, we rely on horses mostly." He was listening, eyeing the Palomino with a lot of interest suddenly.
"It is a complicated gift, as it is not quite a gift Legolas. The Mideras do as they please. This, I put my hand on the younger horse and look at the prince, is Edoras, the son of Elonidas. He is also coming of age. If you manage to form an everlasting bond with him in the next few days, he will stay close to you and answer to your call if you ever need his help. He will never be tied to a post, held in a stable or tacked up. That you must understand. They are proud, just like any king and prince are. A Mideras will bond with only one being, for its entire life. Elonidas chose to bond with me. "
"She chose you?"
"Yes, it's not the other way around. You cannot force a bond to create itself, as you cannot force love or friendship from someone else. It has to be wanted by the two of you equally." That thought brought me back to the current situation between Thranduil and me.
"I think I understand. It's sort of like treating him my equal right?" I smiled again. This child was truly a gift. I couldn't have chosen better for him than what I was offering him tonight.
"Yes! It is hard because he doesn't understand words; he understands feelings, body language and intentions. Now you need to greet him properly for a start." I can tell he was eager.
"And how do I do that?" I raised my shoulder indicating I had no idea whatsoever. Truly I knew how, but it was mostly a test, see how he would act. He walked toward Edoras and extended his hand. The horse started to pound impatiently on the ground, rounding its neck to impress the young prince. It did the trick, Legolas backed off sort of surprised from the displeasure the horse was showing him.
"I don't know mother...he doesn't seem to like me."
"Well since petting him won't work, why don't you try something else? I'm sure no one comes to your father and touches his face to show him respect." His eyes widened and he turned back toward Edoras stiff as a tree. He bowed down respectfully like he had rarely done in his life. I laughed, not because he was ridiculous but because he did understood and it brought joy to my heart. The horse bowed back, one knee on the ground. Legolas smiled quite taken with the little accomplishment he had done and turned back towards me, expecting more of my guidance.
"So? What now Legolas?"
"I don't know, I mean I rarely spend lots of times in foreign home with new people on my first day. He probably is tired and has you know, some things to do. Perhaps we should keep it at that for tonight."
"Well? You are just going to let him go back just like that? That's no way to treat a guest. His mother and he have come a long way to greet you." He realised the meaning of my words and turned back once again toward the creatures. He bowed to the mother as she did and turned back towards me.
"How can I ask them to follow me?"
"Well you can't ask as they don't understand language, perhaps you could indicate them."
"Right"
"Picture what you imagine Legolas, they know intentions remember?"
"Yes. Hmmmm...I want them to follow me to..."
"Don't forget, no stables, no fences"
"Ah! A meadow, a sheltered meadow! Okay it is worth a try." He indicated with his hand the path to take to the meadow he had in mind. He then started walking confidently they would follow for he was clear in his intentions. They did, as I did. Legolas called for squire to bring them the finest blankets and to stay outside of their meadow as guardian of the path, should they need anything during the night. I couldn't be more proud of him. He was worthy of such a gift. We had abandoned the crowd on our way to the meadow by the waterfalls, so we wished the Mideras goodnight and went back to the festivities. The prince was portraying the brightest of smile, one I had rarely seen, all the way to the great hall.
"Thank you, it's the most amazing opportunity someone has ever given me. I couldn't be happier that you would trust me to do this." His eyes were bright with satisfaction, but gentle and tender at the same time. He offered me his arm which I gladly took as we entered the hall.
"Prince Legolas escorting the Queen." The guard announced our arrival. I was proud and I could tell the King was as well. He was the first to join us and to put a hand on the shoulder of his son, as a father congratulating his son. Legolas had much to talk about with all the guests, so Thranduil grabbed my waist softly and pulled me away from the prince, to let him have his moment. After all, he was supposed to be the center of attention tonight. We walked across the room toward the wine and the king offered me a cup. My back could feel the heat emanating from his torso.
"It was a wonderful gift Eveena, one that needed much preparation. I shouldn't have doubt you." His cup of wine long forgotten on the table, both of his hands came to rest on my neck and collarbone. I was suddenly very aware of the roughness of his finger tip, years of shooting arrows I guess. My own free hand came to my neck as I realised my necklace was missing. I had forgotten it in the grass earlier, so clumsy of me. Now everyone will surely have noticed this. Elrond's face came back to me. Yes, he definitely noticed. The kings' hand left my collarbone and instead I saw his clothed arms coming from above, with my necklace. He fastened the lock and encircled my body, resting his cheek on the top of my head. We stayed like that for a moment, the picture of ethereal love, although we were not technically in love.
"Be in my chambers within the hour." He removed himself without another word and walked ceremoniously toward Legolas wishing him goodnight, people bowing as he walked in front of them. His personal guards escorted him towards the royal apartments.
I was no fool, I knew what he wanted and the happiness I felt from my present to Legolas gradually faded. I extended my stay as long as I could without making the king too mad. I showed up in his room an hour and a half after his order. I could tell he was slightly upset, sitting in his chair by the fire but didn't let it show. I knew so well his rising temper that I could now read his displeasure just by the stiffness in his shoulder. He was twirling wine in his cup with some form of aggressiveness. I couldn't conceive how it was possible to twirl wine with vicious intension until I met Thranduil. Trust me it was indeed possible.
"Come." I moved from my spot in an instant and walked in front of the chair where my husband was resting. Looking at the empty bottle on the table beside him, I can tell he had been waiting for more than half an hour, perhaps expecting me to come earlier. I was later than his demand but he didn't say a word about it. He was only wearing his trousers and boots, legs crossed gazing into the flames. His cold stare moved to my person appearing to his left. The only light coming from the fire place enhanced his muscles as well as the sharpness of his face. He was quite masculine, and the long locks of silver just made him seem even more. I tempted a hand toward his shoulder but he grabbed the offender with his own before it could make contact. With a flick of his wrist, I was off balanced and thrown on the floor at his feet. He removed my necklace and crown that he gently put on the table where the almost empty bottle rested. I lifted my eyes confused, he uncrossed his legs, merely looked at his trousers and back into my grey ones.
I had pleased him as such in the beginning of our marriage. My mother told me a pleased husband would do anything for me, and I had tried to please mine. I didn't want to do this; I never really liked it in the first place. But Thranduil, he had taken a liking to it and I couldn't really deny him anything. I looked at his belt and busied my trembling hands with it. He spread his knees a bit farther apart to allow me better access and his head hit the backrest of the leather armchair peacefully, quite contempt with what was to come. Sure he had been rough in bed, but this, this was humiliating. I let my mouth cover his erection and sucked his crotch the way I knew he liked it.
"You enjoy defying and torturing me, don't you Eveena." It wasn't a question, merely a statement of my tardiness. I didn't answer. I didn't particularly like defying the king; it's just that I had such a hard time standing Thranduil my husband that either way, I would be standing on burning coal. He stayed silent for a while, appreciating this moment of bliss.
"I like it when you wear those gown, they ignites something in me, memories of our young love, temptation. Wear them more often." It wasn't a request, it was a command. He grabbed my hair and the back of my head in one of his hand, forcing my rhythm and the deepness now hitting the back of my throat. His release came in my mouth but I couldn't remove myself and was forced to swallow. That was the part I hated the most, the taste was awful, and the texture even worse. It gave me nausea. I rested my head against his inner thigh gasping for breath. He didn't seem to mind and he let his hand caress my red locks slowly. He takes the last sip of his wine and button up his trouser. We stay like this for a moment before he grabs my chin and quietly lift my head from its resting place lingering on my neck in a dominant but tender way, feeling my heartbeat. He lifts himself and helps me up at the same time. He slowly leads us toward the bed and sits on it. I remember the way I used to undress him, slowly and lovingly. He seemed to remember as well while he sat on the high mattress waiting for me to do so again. It was a night of memories. I bent down and unclipped the leather boots, removing them in a swift and slow motion. I had done it so often, my body remembered even if my mind couldn't. I gave the same attention to his embroidered long socks and let my hand linger on his thighs up to his pants once more. He halted my hand gently, grabbed my hips and turned me around. He unclipped the back of my dress and let it drown on the floor around me revealing my naked body.
Tears were running down my cheeks, not because of what was happening, but because it made me feel what it was like, at the beginning of our marriage. How tender, yet demanding he was. I was inexperienced back then and he taught me with kindness and patience how to treat and please him as my king or husband. I had forgotten those lessons. I had forgotten them that day in his study, the day he stroked me down with the back of his hand.
"He tries to mend what has been broken. I hope with all my heart you will let him."
He was willing to teach me again but this time, I knew exactly what he wanted. No words were needed. He turned me back to face him. His hand gently cupped the side of my face drying my tears. He had done so on our wedding night, when I was afraid of what was to come. I felt like that little ellyth again in the hand of an experienced king. He kissed me gently this time, testing my boundaries. He didn't demand entrance right away instead he grabbed my naked body and twirled us on the bed his imposing body over mine. He wasn't crushing me though, supporting his weight with his hands and knees. Tears were still pouring out of my eyes but no sound came out of my mouth. His cold gaze wasn't calculating my movements like he had been doing for so long, more like trying to pull my soul from my eyes. He kissed me again but this time, he forced himself in without asking for permission. He knew he didn't need to ask like a lover would, I was bound to grant him whatever he desired anyway. He had just been kind before, testing if it was my body or my soul that was resisting him.
His hands were as I remembered them on that first night. They were experienced, commanding obedience, yet they were kind. I knew he ruled his people like he was touching me, yet I seemed to have forgotten that side of him.
"I know what he did to you and how he treats you." "Try to see the good in him and not just the bad."
Elrond's words now sting me in the deepest of my soul. I know Thranduil has been more than patient with me, even when I secluded myself from him. He allowed me to move my quarters away from his, endured my absence at formal diners, and never commented on my refusal to address him by his name anymore. Even the gossips that were going around, he never blamed any of it on my behavior. I was so lost in thoughts I forgot what was happening around me and gasped when he entered me in a swift motion, trousers long gone.
"Shhhhh..." He was treating me like some animal that would flee from him. I guess in a way that's what I have been doing for the past decades. I wasn't a virgin and he wasn't treating me like one. His thrusts were deep, forceful and almost painful. His eyes were burning a hole in mine. His jaw was intensely shut; I could see the muscles twitch. He knew my body was his to command, but tonight it wasn't my body he was raping, it was my soul. It was barrier he was pushing through, not the one of my past virginity, the one I had built around myself and forbid him access. He was, for the first time, demanding entrance. My wrists were painfully taken and lifted above my head. His forehead against mine, I couldn't pull away from the intensity of his sapphire gaze. The tears had stopped, the thrusts were painful, my wrists were aching. He knew it was the only chance he will have to see me so vulnerable again, like that first night. Emptiness filled me.
"I hope with all my heart you will let him."
And I let him. I let him knock away all the walls guarding my soul and I let him, for the first time rape it, in all his domineering way, he took everything and made it his. For the second time his release came and his body crashed on top of mine making me gasp again.
"Oh my little northern star..." He hadn't called me that in such a long time, I had forgotten the nickname. He pulled us under the covers, my back flush against his torso, his head on mine, his arms forbidding me to leave I had never felt more helpless and protected in my life. For the first time in a long time, he didn't allow me to leave his bed. And for the first time in a long time, I didn't want to.
Let me know so far what you think. It would be mostly appreciated. I'm not one to write TOO graphic but since it's between two adluts, sex seen are bound to happen. Although I let the reader imagine the gestures by themselves. If it's alright with you guys I would keep it that way. Any demands are welcomed. I don't want to spoil anything either, but in some flashbacks later on, another male elf will piss of Thranduil quite a lot endangering the past relationship, you might understand more how the king acted so harshly in his studies that fateful day ;) not telling you more...
