***Alright, so we are back to the prologue in the timeline. It is in italic if you wish to skip it, but for some of you who have read it a long time ago, I left it here.***

The gift of friendship

I was being pulled, more like dragged in front of king Thranduil. He was sitting on his throne, his face devoid of emotions, while his appearance always as clean and shining as ever. He was an intimidating figure to behold. I have no idea what crime I could have committed to be brought in front of said elf by his personal guards. With a flick of his hand, he dismissed them and turned his eyes to my poor figure carelessly thrown on the floor. I lifted my eyes from the tiles to meet his cold stare while debating in my head if I should rise on my feet or simply stay on the ground.

He rose and descended the curving stairs slowly, like a predator eyeing its prey. My heartbeat was gradually increasing as I became aware of his displeasure from which I still did not know the source. He stopped a good 10 feet away from me and paced slowly, antagonised.

"Naneth..." I heard the muffled voice of one of my daughters who looked at us not quite grasping the situation as to why her father would treat me so coldly and menacingly. Legolas was holding them in place, forbidding them to come closer. I gazed back at the figure towering me gathering the courage to inquire as to what was going on.

"Your highness, I do not know why you brought me here like a mere criminal as I have done nothing to wrong you as such."

His pacing suddenly stopped as his gaze lingered on his only son. The cold stare I was ready for it, but the accusatory tone not as much.

"It has come to my attention that you do not treat the prince as the mother you have promised me you would be when we bounded ages ago."

I knew where he was going now. I cannot say realization struck me as I was aware of my current behavior, but it has been going on for so long I have forgotten how to be his mother. The silence continues for a while, my gaze drawing the patterns of the tiles on the floor. I could never hold his cold gaze for so long and I have no idea how Legolas manage to do so. But then again, I am sure Thranduil the Great King of the Woodland Realm would not let harm come to the pearl of his kingdom, even by his own hand.

"What say you? Are you not denying it?"

"I am not my Lord." My voice was quiet, barely a whisper. It was strange hearing it coming from my own mouth. I remember the ellyth I used to be. Before all of this, this marriage, this alliance, this mess, no one would have brought me down on my knees and scolded me as such. Yet he managed to do so in only some decades. I would be an eyesore to my people, and I was not proud of what he had molded me in. I remembered the words my mother used to tell me as an elfling "It is a male's world, not because it should be, but because we let them." Oh mother, she would not be proud of me if she could see me from Valinor.

"You promised you would treat my son as lovingly as you would treat his coming siblings. That you would care for him, raise him, and love him as his mother should have if she had not left so early in his life. Why haven't you done so, do you not love him?" I did not answer for all the accusations were legit. My silence seemed to unsettle him greatly and I could feel his temper rising.

"ANSWER ME WOMAN!" I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned my gaze towards the children.

"As the king commands, though you might not like the answer. Legolas would you be so kind as to escort the girls out of the hall..."

"NO! They will hear this! HE will hear it." Legolas halt in his movement and looked at his father. The eyes of the elflings were watering as they too looked at their father, who had never been so cold in their presence since they were born. So be it.

"I loved him, before the girls were born, and even after. I still love him as we speak. I just...I don't know how..." I paused in my speech as emotions were coming flooding back from that fateful day. "I tried my best to be his mother...as I tried my best to be your wife. But you, you didn't let me." Maybe realization struck him this time. The silence continued for a while as the tension of the room slowly dissipates. He walked slowly towards my figure still on the ground and extended his hand for me to take it. I looked at it, considered mending the bond and letting him win again, but this time my pride came back to me along with the sadness, the helplessness, the anger, the fear I felt on that day. It was quite overwhelming. I realise tears were pouring out because I could feel them hit my hands still folded on my skirts. I grabbed them and lifted myself from the ground on my own, completely dismissing the extended hand.

"You have slapped me so harshly I feel on the floor. And with all the hatred you could gather, YOU have told me that you were MY king, that I was out stepping my boundaries for I was to never address you the way I use to, that if something were to happen to you, that the prince would rule in your stead. YOU said that I was nothing in this kingdom and that I was to treat you and your son with the respective title you behold. I cannot be his mother and his servant at the same time, as I cannot be your wife and your servant at the same time. I chose to be one of the two my king and chose the safest route as to not out step anymore boundaries." His hand extended again, but this time gently toward my cheek to dry the tears from my eyes. I locked my gaze on him and shied away from his touch, taking a step backward. I saw the pain of my withdrawal through his eyes, but his face remained devoid of anymore emotions.

"I know the hands of the king, they are strong and firm, but they haven't been gentle towards me in a very long time. Forgive me for shying away your highness; my body reacts on its own."

He returned to his pacing in front of me, fuming, fidgeting, wary. Finally, he asked Legolas to leave the halls with his two sisters. The prince glanced at me, worry written all over his face. He had such a gentle nature. When the hall was finally deserted, the king's attention turned back to me, halting his back and forth in front of me.

"Are you accusing your King to be and to have been unjust towards you Eveena?" His sneer and emphasis on the word King made me remember once more, which place I held in his heart and in his kingdom. I closed my eyes, I tried to feel the string pulling at my heart, at my soul. The right words would come. Breathing out of relief, I looked at him once more.

"No. I am accusing my husband of not being fair, of not being kind, of not being patient, tolerant, loving, caring and gentle as he promised me to be many years ago. I am accusing him of being short tempered, violent, forceful, and unforgiving." I paused, breathing in as a new strength came to me, or was it my old strength coming back, I do not know. I locked my gaze on his, this time I would not look down. This time, he was not going to win, he could not, I would not let him.

"So no, I will not stand here to be prosecuted like a criminal when I have done my outmost best to stay well out of your way, from fear of trespassing more boundaries you so wished for me to abide by. I will NOT be prosecuted for committing the crime of obeying the demands you made to me on that day, years ago, when you commanded me to act as such!" I paused in my speech, tried to get a hold of my anger, my sadness, my weariness, my fear of him but mostly the loneliness I felt everyday under his watchful eyes. All of it was bundle up together, in a mixture that made me confused. He dared not interfere but gazed at me differently, like I was some wild animal that would bolt. I exhaled slowly, turned my head slightly to the right, breaking eye contact. I had said my truth, I was not going to bolt now. My tone changed to become barely a murmur. He would still hear me with enhanced hearing, he was bound to.

"I was so young Thranduil." It felt funny, saying his name without any honorific attached to it. It must have felt the same in his ears.

"You could have been more tolerant with me. You should have been gentler." Another pause.

"But you were not." I dried my eyes with the back of my hand and did not grace him with anymore of my tears; instead, grabbed my skirts, turned, and left him standing there. I did not wish to hear anymore of his lessons if he had any to give. I wanted to be alone and to smell the fresh morning air in the meadow, the rain last night had successfully cooled the air. I wanted my friend Cassidy. I picked up my pace, forced my legs to hit the paved corridors faster. Eventually I was running blindly out of his palace, out of his tormenting halls, the crown atop my head abandoned in my distress somewhere in the hallway. Perhaps I had given it to a servant, I could not remember. So much for not bolting…

My hands were trembling. Somehow my memories did not wish to remember this day for the only thing I remember was the faces of Legolas and his younger siblings before they exited the hall. Amara and Sariel were barely entering their teenage years. Poor thing. How could they know, how could they have known? Legolas would be of age in a little more than 10 years, he would technically be of age to rule. Surely, he must have seen something was wrong with me and his father. But then again Thranduil protected him to a fault.

The Ellon and Ellyth merely saw a noble woman running, they must have thought me crazy. So, few knew my face. I did not hear the guards behind me tailing me and calling for their queen to halt until I noticed the path I was heading into clearing before my own eyes. Every elf retreating to the sidelines to avoid being pushed or shoved by the guards. Certainly, the elves around us picked up that I was the said Queen. I could hardly outrun them, but then again, they wouldn't just grab me to return me to my husband, would they? They did not try to catch up, they simply shadowed my run.

My little peace haven could hardly be called that now as I was bringing my turmoil's and half the garrison of the ineerkeep with me. I ran into the long herbs and flowers of Cassidy's meadow. Insects and birds jumping out of the way. My dress was completely soaked from the last trails of the rain this early morning lingering on the long herbs. I stopped abruptly and turned back to the trail I had left behind. No guards entered the meadow. They dispersed around it into the trees and lower on the ground. They were encircling me from everywhere.

Cassidy came out of her cottage on her front porch and noticed the commotions of soldiers at the treeline and of myself in the center of the meadow, looking like a deer about to be shot. My eyes could not have shown more horrified emotions. She must have picked up that something was amiss since against all odds, they remained in the shadow and did not set foot on my sacred grounds. They completely disappeared, hiding behind trunks. My friend made her way to my form, still in distress, shaking from exhaustion. I do not know yet if she noticed my teary eyes or my wet cheeks, but she made no mention of it. You could tell she was coming to me with a lot of caution, analyzing my dress, my hair, my dishevel appearance.

"What is the matter Elena? What is happening to you my friend?" I broke down in loud sobs in front of her, hiding my face in my hands and turning my back on her. How could such a simple question make me feel like such? No one has asked me what was wrong in forever, no one had called me a friend in so long I had forgotten the sentiment of reciprocated friendship. And she did not even know my real name!

I let myself fall on the ground, I wanted the tall grass and flowers to hide me from all the guards and their watchful eyes. Even though none of them felt entitled to watch me in such a distressed moment and all turned their eyes and tried to turn off their hearing, I did not know that. Cassidy took me in her arms and rooked my form back and forth, telling me all would be well, that I needed to calm down. It took some time; it is hard to tell how long it took for me to be able to form a sensible sentence.

"My daughters are being taken from me."

"You have daughters?" I nodded. "Is your husband alive?" I nodded. "Tell me, who is taking them away?"

"The King is sending them in Lorien, to learn." Cassidy seemed confused about all this; I cannot blame her.

"Why would the King do such a thing? What interest does he have in sending your daughters to study abroad?"

"To punish me."

"This does not make sense Elena, what terrible thing could you have done to merit the wrath of the King?"

The next words that came out of my mouth next, sealed my fate.

"My name is Eveena." I blurted out the words, to get the poison out of my system once and for all. This masquerade had lasted long enough.

"Eveena." She tasted the name on her lips, as if it were foreign to her. Then she stood slowly, releasing me from her embrace. "You are the Queen Eveena." I nodded ever so slightly.

"And yet you came here disguised as a maid, drank my mead, ate my honey as if we were equals." I stood up abruptly to stand eye to eye with her.

"We are equals. It is still me; I am the same. Can you not see?" I was indicating my figure with my hands up and down, hoping she would come to her senses. But alas, she did not. It was her then that was distressed. She looked around, frightened. The guards were watching, we could not see them, but they were watching. What for, we did not know. She was afraid of a misstep. Instantly, she lowered her head and curtsied. Somehow, I think this hurt me more than any mean or cut words the King ever threw my way. I begged her not to, but it was a lost cause. In another life, in another world, Cassidy and I would have had an everlasting friendship maybe. I comfort myself thinking so. I muster the steadiest voice I possibly could, in the current circumstances.

"I will make sure that you will be well compensated for your trouble lady Cassidy. I will tell the king to replenish the halls with your honey again this year." She never rose to look at me. This was to be my haven no more. This would be a memory of the past. I took the time to smell the aroma around me, to hear the buzzing of the busy bees, the singing of the birds, the vague remanent odor of honey in my friends' hair. The meadow was in full blown, it was at its best surely. A pretty picture to remember.

When I walked out, I felt void, I felt spent. The guards came around me to escort me back to my husband's palace, somehow trying their best to shield my form from curious wandering eyes. I walked steadily. This adventure was over, it had been too short lived, too few afternoons sharing stories of no importance amongst ourselves. Soon even Nathaniel would know of my deceit. Cassidy would tell him herself or her husband would. He will never seek my out again in the market, he will never prank me with stupid presents and share words from our people still in the northern plains. My secret correspondence and confidence would be over, it will go through the traditional triage and be read by strangers before it would even leave King Thranduil's hall.

I took my time to return to the innerkeep, coming through from the eastern gate. I took a detour through the side path leading to the stables. I had no wishes to be seen by the same witnesses that saw me rush through the market. Somehow, I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed of having deceived friends, ashamed of my marriage, ashamed of my lack of choices in every aspect of everyday of my life. It felt like a puppet show, a truly sad and boring one.

Around me, nature was mocking my mood. The fresh rain from yesterday had brought beautiful color to the moss, pearly leaves glistening in the soft summer wind, a smell of pure earth surrounding my senses. It was still morning.

I did not acknowledge the visit from Imladris that came a few days prior. Elrond and his court would be on their way to Erebor in a couple of days anyway and I had no friends in the party. I remained in my room most of the time. I did not interact with any ladies of the court. I waited for the sun to rise and set, repeatedly. I lingered in my gardens with the girls, spending as much time reading, playing, telling stories from Avari land with them, I wished for them to have a little something of my culture, as meager breadcrumbs as it could be. It would still be breadcrumbs and therefore better than nothing at all. The clock was ticking and soon enough Thranduil would set them off to Lorien, somewhere around Legolas' birthday this fall. He had said the end of summer. That left only a few weeks with them. They were excited, of course. I could not burden them with my sadness and loneliness to see them go.

"How is Lorien mother? Father say's it resembles Mirkwood since it is sheltered in the forest as well. He says the trees are high and narrow, unlike here where they are large and tortuous. He said the people from Lothlorien do not climb the trees as we do to hunt or to travel, he says they mostly go on foot."

"I would not know Sariel, the King has never let me accompany him on his voyage to Lorien." I smiled softly reassuringly when she frowned.

"Why did father not take you but sends us there?"

"You will have to ask him yourself dear, I am not privy to his thoughts or his decisions." Amara was not as pleased as her older sister to leave on her own.

"I want you to come with us Mama. I will ask father."

"Oh Amara, please don't."

"But why!?"

"It is better to let it be. You will have a wonderful year with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. They are very knowledgeable and very kind. Plus, it is only a year! You will be back here in no time. I'm sure your father or Legolas will visit you both." Somehow, I hoped it was only going to be a year. I ushered the girls to bed. I did not pledge my case to the King regarding his decision of sending them to Lorien. Maybe I should have. I can not bear to see him; I know I will sob hopelessly.

Tonight, my gardens would be my haven. I had not heard from Cassidy or Nathaniel yet. I doubt I will ever hear from them again. I laid on the ground, starring at the night sky. I remembered doing the same a few nights ago in the meadow when I was inebriated. My memory took me there. Nathaniel was leaning on his elbow, looking at me with a little flush on his cheeks. He was clearly as intoxicated as I was.

"Do you remember how the northern plains are quiet Elena? I can barely, I was on a campaign my whole youth and then I moved here! In Greenwood you hear all the crickets and the night owls, you hear the rustling of the leaves in the trees when a breeze pass by, you hear the branches moan with their slight movement. In the northern plains, it was complete and utter silence." I smiled at the sky, not turning my eyes away from the stars.

"I do remember. Only the wind in your ears or the footsteps of something approaching. But it was hardly silent. The wind would move across the small valley and create a music of its own volition." The silence was serene, this moment was so appreciated.

"Do you like it here Nathaniel? Queen Eveena told me you had sworn allegiance to King Thranduil, you must enjoy these woods, for you decided not to sail to Valinor with most of our people." He dropped on his back once more, gazing at the stars in a position mimicking my own, hands one over the other at the back of the head as a pillow, one leg over the other.

"I do. I want the gift of children. I cannot have that in the undying lands."

"I see. Are you bonded with someone?" We never really asked such personal questions to each other, we simply enjoyed our company, it was a simple and as pure as that.

"No, but I am in love Elena."

I was taken out of my reverie. A song from the birds could be heard. My night starlings were carrying a message. It could not be. I never thought he would contact me so soon. I had to get a quill and parchment to write everything down before they stop singing and decipher his code so I could send an answer back through the birds. We always contacted each other in Avarin, so no one would understand the singing of the night starlings. This time, it was addressed to Queen Eveena and not the handmaiden Elena. Nathaniel knew. Cassidy must already have told him. He knew I was distressed. Cassidy must have told him as well. She probably advised him not to contact me anymore, but he was eager to talk to me. To understand. I would have to send him letters to explain, I would have to ask my handmaidens. But could they be trusted? They had to. I would send it coded, in Avarin. That way, they could not read it.

Tomorrow, when the sun goes down, archery field.

This is the message I intrusted my night starlings with. They would carry it to Nathaniel. I would send a handmaiden with a letter. I needed him. Hopefully, he would understand why I disguised myself, hopefully he would still be there as he promised. I had little time.

Alright everyone, I hope you enjoyed. For those of you who picked it up, it is a scene that takes place in between's Tranduils conversation with Elrond, when he was given advice, it superpose the same timeline. The chapter was called "Starting anew". We are almost back to the present time with Legolas' birthday party.