It was a few days after the latest encounter when McGonagall got in touch with Hermione. She was called to the head mistresses office for a meeting and was irritated to see Malfoy there. It was bad enough she had to share a dorm, share every class and share her bed with him once every few weeks but being called to a meeting with him was just the icing in the cake she had spent the last few days feeling physically much like herself, but mentally, she was... Annoyed.
"I've called you both in for an update. The curse breakers are yet to identify a reversal spell but I can assure you they're working on it" she began. "Mr Malfoy, your mother's curse breakers have been in touch and have shared their progress, which is much the same..." she added. Hermione looked to Malfoy who's face was unreadable. She had no idea that his mother had employed curse breakers.
"Why haven't they consulted with us? Surely there are tests they need to run?" Hermione asked. The question had been burning in her mind for days now. If they were truly running tests, they'd need test subjects.
"They have everything they need, currently. I can assure you they're doing their best" McGonagall said.
Hermione just sat there and crossed her legs, waiting for the meeting to continue.
"The main reason for this meeting is to get an idea of how you're feeling. To make sure you're each coping with this as best you can" McGonagall said.
"You're kidding, right?" Hermione asked.
"No, miss Granger, I am not. I take full responsibility for the time it has taken to do so, but we have assigned a social worker to oversee your situation. She is qualified in counselling and can also be a port of call for updates and advocacy" she said
"So you're done with us and passing the job to some poor woman with a clipboard to deal with" Malfoy asked.
"I can assure you, Jenny is highly qualified. In fact, she studied in both muggle and magical training facilities and has knowledge in both areas. She's young but wise and I urge you to visit with her" McGonagall said. "She can also assist with... Ahem... Protections for different things, as I understand that you're both in agreement as to the treatment of your symptoms" she added.
Hermione sneered at the headmaster in a way that was very Malfoy of her.
"You mean, she can procure abortions or provide contraceptive potions to avoid adding a mud blood to the Malfoy line, all because we are having sex to prevent us dying from a stupid curse that no one can figure out how to stop?" Hermione spat.
"I know you're angry, miss Granger, but I can assure you, we're doing everything we can..." McGonagall said.
"Damn right I'm angry..." she responded, standing up, feeling rage build inside of her while her curse-mate sat quietly in his seat. "I'll see the social worker, I'll sit down and drink tea and talk about how I'm feeling and whether or not I feel violated or abused. She can report back to you everything I tell her so you don't have to bear the thought of asking me yourself" she ranted, before storming out the door.
She fled down the steps of the stone gargoyle and stood at the bottom, catching her breath. She couldn't understand why she was so angry, why she felt so mad. She should be making the most of the time she had when she was feeling like herself and being happy, but she couldn't bring herself to. She couldn't bring herself to smile or be anything other than annoyed.
She did as promised, and met with the social worker the following day. They agreed to meet daily for the first few days, then every second day, then every third and so on. She performed a pregnancy test, which was negative, thanks to Hermione's weak contraceptive charms, but she put her on a long term contraceptive potion regime anyway. It required only one dose and lasted three months, but they had to check her each month because there was no way to know how it would react with the curse.
At the end of the first session, all the practicalities were sorted but she was still feeling angry. The second day she retuned to the social worker to discuss how she was feeling about what was going on. Hermione opened up about everything. About Ron and her having taken charge of her virginity about the fact that she couldn't reconcile what was happening in her mind as being consensual but at the same time, it wasn't rape. By the end of the week, Hermione was feeling a little more at ease. She had been encouraged to keep a journal, where she could write down whatever she was thinking or feeling, write letters to people that she'd never send, write down what made her angry and what made her feel less angry.
The epiphany came in the decline in her physical health, when she was realising it had been just over 2 weeks.
She had begun to discuss the actual sex itself, not being too graphic, but explaining to Jenny how she often wondered if she would ever have good sex, or whether she was destined to be with Malfoy forever. Jenny had asked her something that made her laugh out loud for the first time in 2 weeks.
"Why can't you have good sex and have it be with him?" she had asked.
"Yeah right, we don't need to have good sex, just sex" Hermione said.
"Sounds to me like you may be experiencing sexual frustration" Jenny said.
Hermione scoffed at this.
"You don't think so?" she asked.
"I honestly wouldn't know. I've had sex a handful of times and I don't see the hype. Honestly, it's just something we have to do" she said.
"Tell me this... If you're doing it anyway, why not at least be able to enjoy it? Shouldn't you be entitled to some gratification? Especially considering you've mentioned that he gets gratification from it every time" she asked.
"We have a very complicated history. He spent the first 17 years of his life actually believing my blood consisted of real mud. He can't stand me or anything about me. When we don't need to have sex, I don't exist to him. When we do, we barely touch each other, we get it over and done with and leave. I'm sure he doesn't want to waste time making sure I like it" Hermione said.
"Has he said these things to you? That he thinks less of you? That it shouldn't feel good for you?" jenny asked.
Hermione thought about it she tried to remember everything they had said to each other but couldn't pinpoint a time where he had verbalised his disgust.
"I guess it's a no?" Jenny asked
"I said to him once, one of the rare times that we spoke, that I had always visualised sex to be about lust and passion. He apologised for the fact that this 'couldn't be like that for me'..." she said, using her fingers as air quotes. He's never said that he's disgusted by me but I can just tell... " she said.
"Answer this then Hermione... If only to yourself... does he get an erection in the lead up to sex? Does he have to try hard to form one? Can he sustain it?" she asked, making Hermione blush.
"I... I don't really know, I guess I thought he... Pre-prepares himself" she said.
Jenny didn't speak, but sat back and crossed her legs, raising an eyebrow.
"If I were you, I'd have a rethink about who's putting out what vibe here" she said.
"You're saying I'm the one who appears to be disgusted by him? " she asked.
"Not necessarily, but if he hasn't said it, if his body responds to you, he most definitely isn't as repulsed as you might think he is" she said, looking at the clock.
Hermione looked up as well and noticed that their time was up.
"Don't forget to journal tonight. This has been a big session today and you need to write it down so it doesn't ruminate" Jenny said, getting up from her seat and helping the weak Hermione to her feet.
Hermione left the office, almost running into Malfoy outside of the door, who looked worse off than she was. He was hardly able to get to his feet and he had dark circles under his eyes. She really felt for him, if he was feeling worse than she was. She figured they'd have to do it again, much sooner than she thought.
"10pm?" she asked him.
"9?" he said rubbing his forehead "I need to get some sleep" he added.
"OK" she replied, offering a small unseen smile before she left.
That afternoon, she sat down with her journal, writing down all her thoughts, her feelings.
'...could it be that the source of my anger, of my frustrations, of my complete inability to come close to my normal happy self over the last two weeks simply be lack of sexual gratification? And if so, how do I rectify that? I've never so much as gotten myself across the line, let alone have someone else, someone, especially Malfoy, get me there. Even though it's only been a few times, I feel like we've developed a pattern. I feel like I'm an inactive participant in this. But if I do try... If I do attempt to gain some enjoyment out of it, what does that mean? This is supposed to be a torturous thing. How could I even begin to portray the idea to him? "hey Malfoy, I don't want to be friends, but could you make my eyes roll back in my head next time you're shagging me?" please... It won't happen. He would never touch me for the sole purpose of intentionally making me feel good. And as far as me touching him is concerned... Well, I have no idea. Even if I was shagging someone I liked, I wouldn't know what to do with my hands anyway. Besides, would he even allow me to touch him? So far the touching has been only as necessary. I wouldn't even know what his skin feels like under my fingertips. I wouldn't know what he likes...'
She wrote a further three pages, documenting changes in her health, things she wished she could tell people, someone, anyone. She was becoming more distant with Harry and Ron, despite still writing to them multiple times a week.
By the time she was on her last page, there came a knock on their adjoining door and she realised she had overlooked the time. She put her quil down and made her way to the door, opening it to let him in, worried because she hadn't had a chance to shower or anything yet.
"Sorry, I was caught up in study. Can you give me 5 minutes?" she asked.
"Always the book worm" he said with an eye roll.
"You can sit down, I'll have a quick shower" she said.
He frowned at her and looked at the clock, which read 8:58pm.
"I'm not an animal Malfoy and I do have some self respect. I'll clean myself up and be back in a few minutes" she said, rolling her eyes on the way out the door as he sat at her desk.
She did as promised, showering quickly and returning to her room, wrapped in her towel. It was then that she realised he hadn't actually seen her completely naked. She had intentionally kept her top half clothed to avoid... What? She didn't know.
She stood by her bed, eyeing him as he sat at her desk, one of her books on arithmancy in his hands. She thought she noticed a few things moved and quickly swallowed the fear that he may have read her journal. She would be mortified if he had, particularly at her most recent entry.
She watched as he struggled to get to his feet, swaying as he made his way to the bed.
"Are you feeling OK? We can do this another time if you're not up for it?" she asked.
"No, Granger I'm not OK, but this is the remedy, right?" he said rhetorically.
"Do you want me to... I mean... I've never... But... I seem to have more energy than you. You can lay..." she stumbled over her words as she attempted to offer to be on top.
He looked at her and to the floor as he nodded and removed his pants and boxers before almost collapsing on the bed. It was the first time he had been effectively on display for her and despite his sickly appearance, he looked... Good.
She climbed on the bed, trying and failing to keep her towel wrapped around herself. She retrieved her wand from the beside and flicked it a few times before the torches went out leaving them in relative darkness as she discarded her towel onto the floor. She cast a quick lubricant charm as well, thinking that she ought to ask him what it was he had in his bedside last time.
She straddled him and realised she had no idea what she was doing. She positioned herself at the appropriate place and she felt him almost instantly harden beneath her.
"it's interesting, I always thought you... Sort of... Prepared... In advance" she said, leaning herself forward so she could lean her hands on the bed beside his shoulders.
"Believe it or not Granger, I'm still just a 19 year old lad and you're a good looking female with an appealing figure" he said, reaching his hand between them and helping her straddle him.
She blushed at his off handed compliment as she lowered herself into his erection. It was strange, being in control like this. She felt a strange sense of power and she was interested to see what she could do with it.
She smiled briefly when she heard him hiss through his teeth, something she had come to realise now as a sign that it felt good for him.
She started moving a little, sliding herself up and down his length, feeling the bulge just before the tip, before pressing her body against him, filling herself in a way that felt completely different to when he was on top.
"I'm sorry if it's weird, I... I don't really know what I'm doing at all" she confessed into the darkness.
"It's fine, don't apologise" he said.
She kept moving, noticing that his hands remained on the bed beside him. She wanted to take them and put them on her, have him touch her, feel what it was like for him to touch her in the places that were normally covered when they did this. Her nerves were preventing her from doing anything, so she took a deep breath and in a few seconds of sheer bravery, she sat upright and took his hands in hers, placing one on her hip and the other on her chest.
The feeling was almost electric. His fingers grabbed at her hip as she resumed her motion and the other hand cupped her beast and thumbed her nipple, sending a foreign sensation through her body directly to where they were joined.
His hand on her hip guided her motions, adjusting her into a grinding motion, rather than an in out motion, and it immediately made her release a slight moan as she actually felt something.
Embarrassment flooded through her as she realised she had made a sound. She had no idea why it embarrassed her. This is what she has wanted, wasn't it?
"Stop thinking, Granger, this is supposed to feel good" he said as he pulled her down against his body.
"I, I'm sorry" she said breathlessly.
"Stop being sorry" he said, now with both hands on her hips. He was raising his hips, thrusting into her as her hips ground against his, and she felt a sudden heat begin to build inside of her.
She looked to him and saw him close his eyes, and bite down on his lower lip. The dark circles under his eyes were gone, the curse remedy working instantly. He was fit. He was attractive, the sweat on his brow making him seem more human, more real. She placed her hands on his biceps for balance and felt the muscular bulges there as he held her with his hands.
She felt so feminine, so raw, so in tune with herself, biologically, that as the heat building deep in her abdomen intensified, rather than reject it, rather than be embarrassed by it, she embraced it, encouraged it, closed her eyes and envisioned it as something tangible that she could reach for.
The further she reached, the more she felt pleasure build inside of her. She allowed the small moans to escape from between her lips and she was vaguely aware of Malfoy taking her wand in his hand and casting a spell at the door, a silencing spell, she hoped.
She surprised herself as what she could only describe as explosions, erupted from inside of her, making her body convulse and filling her vision with stars. She was barely aware of Malfoy's tell-tale groan of his own as she felt herself contract around him. She wondered if it hurt him.
Her arms gave way and she collapsed on his chest, feeling the dampness of their combined sweat against her cheek.
She listened to his erratic heart beat as she caught her breath, forgetting for a while where she was.
At first, she closed her eyes just to catch her breath. She had no desire to fall asleep, but her legs were numb and her body was embracing the stillness, and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep on Malfoy's chest.
She woke to the feeling of being too warm. The bed was lumpy underneath her still naked body and she raised her head only to be mortified at the fact that she had fallen asleep on Malfoy.
He was awake, laying there looking at the ceiling. At some point he must have pulled the covers back up over them both because she clearly remembered not having covers over them when she shut her eyes.
"Merlin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... You probably want to go to bed" she said, looking at the clock as she unwrapped herself from his body. It was 11:30pm.
"it's fine" he said, moving over slightly as she shifted herself to his side, holding the blanket against her chest.
"Malfoy... I... I don't really know what to say" she said, feeling embarrassed for some stupid reason.
"There's nothing you need to say. That was good. I feel like my self again" he said.
"It was good?" she asked.
He huffed out a laugh and sat up, grabbing his pants off the floor and standing as he pulled them up.
"Yeah, just like the real thing" he said, turning to look her over. She imagined she looked a complete mess "you look good like that" he said with a rare smile as his eyes looked her up and down.
She didn't know how to respond to that. She felt like some thing had changed between them in the last couple of hours. Like this could be not only bearable but it could be good.
"Till next time then?" she asked.
"Maybe we shouldn't let it get so bad" he said with his hand on the door handle.
"You were a real fright when you walked in here" she said.
"I'll knock" he said, opening both doors and leaving the room.
She hurried to the bathroom, cleaning herself up, before throwing on her pyjamas and getting into her bed.
She would have a lot to tell Jenny in the morning, so she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to take her.
Almost two weeks later, mid way through a particularly gruelling potions class, Hermione was feeling exhausted and was finding her magic lacking.
She initially put it down to feeling flustered but when she turned to look around the room, the only other person who seemed even close to how she was, was Malfoy.
She considered the time and realised they may have left it too long, may have overlooked something.
He did say last time he would be the one to knock, he would attend her room. Perhaps he hadn't realised how bad he had become.
With a half hearted stasis charm placed on her cauldron, she turned to make eye contact with Malfoy before declaring to Professor Slughorn that she had to attend the hospital wing. Slughorn appeared not to be concerned with one of his best students leaving so simply waved her off and returned to assisting the class.
She stood outside the door of a nearby empty classroom, hoping that Malfoy would have gotten the hint. The way he looked, she doubted he'd make it to their dorm to remedy the situation.
It didn't take long at all before his lethargic footsteps echoed in the hallway and as he approached, she opened the door, allowing him to enter first.
She took off her school jumper and kicked her shoes away from her before unzipping her skirt and letting it fall to the ground.
He approached her like she were his prey, only, he looked as though a strong breeze would blow him over. She was intrigued at how worried she was, but at the same time, she still hated so many things about him... About this.
Sometimes she'd find herself laying awake at night, blaming him for their predicament. Putting this whole thing in his head, holding him responsible. It was an easy task, she just had to focus on their past, on how horrible she knew he was how she knew he could be.
She leant against the edge of a desk, feeling like it was the most appropriate place, but when he grabbed her, he pulled her forward and spun her around so her back was to his front.
He held her hips in one hand and pressed down at the top of her back with the other, flattening her across the table with her feet on the floor. He kicked her feet apart and she heard his zipper, followed by the warmth of his skin on her cheeks.
She held her breath, waiting for the intrusion that she knew she'd secretly enjoy, however It was seconds before she heard him let out an exasperated sigh.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing... fucking nothing, just... Shut the fuck up" he said stinging her, mentally.
"Are you joking? You can't speak to me like that while I'm bent over in front of you, Malfoy" she said.
"I can do what I like" he spat.
"You're a real jerk, you know that?"
"Yeah, I know... I don't like you any more than you like me. We both know we wouldn't be here in a million years of not for the curse. Time to stop fucking talking about it and just get on with it" he said.
"I'm here. I'm the one that left the class to get on with it, for your sake, mind you, you look like a strong breeze would blow you down" she spat.
She felt his hand moving behind her and she suddenly realised what the issue was. His body was failing to respond. He needed a dose of adrenalin to give him some energy.
She pushed back against him and stood up, turning around. She pulled open her shirt, sending buttons flying, as she looked him in the face.
"Is this better?" she asked bitterly, standing in nothing but her bra as she glanced down at his soft member.
He narrowed his eyes in the way he used to just before he'd offer her a harsh slur or insult, but as he opened his mouth to speak, she reached up and slapped him hard across the face. His head turned sharply to the side and when she went to slap him again, he caught her hand in his, looking her dead in the eye.
She let her hand relax before attempting to make its way down to his flaccid penis. She had handled Ron a few times and thought she knew what felt good. He let her go when her hand reached its destination, gripping him and coaxing it to life
"You're still the same bully you always were, aren't you?" she said, feeling him come alive in her hand. He rolled his eyes.
"And you're still the same swotty bookworm, only now you get your jollies by secretly enjoying fucking me instead of barking for attention from Potter and his pet Weasel" he said as his hand grabbed her backside firmly.
His energy seemed to return and he grabbed both cheeks and lifted her, carrying her as he walked over to a wall.
"As much as I have always hated you, I had always wondered what you'd feel like around my cock" he said, as he lifted her and brought her back down, impaling her on his length.
"And...?" she asked, wanting to know his thoughts.
"You're tighter...and stronger... than any other witch I've had... When you came...it was like... fucking heaven... and fucking... hell... all at once... I fucking enjoy it... I won't deny... but... I'm still me... and you're still you" he said as he was thrusting into her and against the wall.
His words sent a shiver right through her body and deep into her core, igniting something inside if her that she didn't think she'd feel again after the last time. She almost whimpered when he spun them around, but when he deposited her hard on her back on the nearby table and continued hammering her, she closed her eyes and threw her head back.
She didn't know it could be like this, didn't think he of all people could make her feel this good... like he said, he was still him and she was still her, but somehow, when they were doing this, they were other people completely.
They both came like the thunder, in a mess of cries and moans and groans. He pulled her to her feet and she dressed quickly, now having the energy to wandlessly summon her clothes.
She stood with her back against the wall, having dressed and mended her clothes, eyeing him as he tucked his shirt into his trousers, with a sly smile as she picked up her satchel and slung it over her shoulder.
They didn't exchange further words. They had said enough. He looked her up and down as she leant against the wall collecting herself and gathering her thoughts before he walked out of the room and back to class.
It was surely the most interesting encounter they'd had, but she wasn't entirely sure whether she'd want to repeat it.
It was barely over a week later when Malfoy knocked on her door again. The week had been better than the previous one, with less anger and frustration clouding her ability to function.
She had begun to feel the decline, much sooner than last time and part of her was eager to see if she could repeat her body's reaction during their last two encounters.
She was wearing her nightgown when she opened the door, and before she could let him in, he reached the bottom of it and pulled it up over her head. He held her arms and walked her backwards to the bed, almost throwing her down as he stripped his clothes off, shirt and all.
His hands didn't hesitate before snaking their way over her body, finding her beasts, toying with her nipples, making her gasp. When his hand travelled down her body, beyond her navel, and a finger slid along her slit, she gripped at his back, her fingernails making half moon indents in the skin as he pressed against what she surmised could only be her clitoris.
"Good Godric" she said breathlessly as he toyed with it, pressing it, rubbing his finger back and forth. She felt instant heat building at her core and she closed her eyes, embracing the sensation welcoming the impending orgasm.
Her legs trembled as she cried out her release, panting and desperate for more when he withdrew his touch.
She opened her eyes to find that he was positioning himself between her thighs, ready to have her.
He slid into her with ease, causing her to tremble and her legs to shake. She was caught unawares when a surge of what felt like electricity pulsed through her body, coming to a halt and building in her core. She cried out when an orgasm took hold and her nails dug into his back, tearing into his skin.
"You're going to be the death of me, witch" he groaned as she came down from her high.
"if death feels like this then I welcome it with open arms" she moaned into his neck, now fully aware of what sex was supposed to feel like, and why people fought wars over it and based religions on it.
She moved her body, meeting his thrusts and she threw her head back, moaning into the night as he slammed his body against hers, hitting her somewhere deep inside that felt like heaven.
"Who knew... Gryffindor's... golden girl... loved... being fucked... so hard?" he said with each thrust.
"Who knew the prince... Of Slytherin... Could make the... Golden girl... Feel like this?" she responded as she felt the build of another orgasm.
"I surely wouldn't have wasted those first few times if I knew, that's for sure" he whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine and out of her body with her next orgasm.
He felt him pulse inside of her with his own release before he collapsed onto her, both of them panting and fighting to catch their breaths.
Once she came down from her high she felt an immediate sense of embarrassment at her behaviour. The things she said, the way she clawed, animalistically at his back, the way she had held onto him as she moaned through her release.
When he stood to pull up his pants she gasped at the tracks of blood that marred his back.
"oh, I'm sorry, I... Merlin" she said, covering her face with the blanket.
She heard him laugh and she pulled the blanket off and saw that he was feeling the marks on his back.
"Why are you laughing? This is mortifying" she said.
"It's honestly not. If I was to show the guys they'd high five me" he said.
"You're bleeding" she said, taking her wand with the idea to fix it.
"It's a sign of a job well done" he said, turning his back away from her and putting his shirt on.
"So... An ego boost?" she asked.
"Something like that" he said with a smile that she rarely saw.
She got up and wrapped a bath robe around herself before making her way to the bathroom. This, she could handle. The curse was almost no longer an issue, as long as she continued to have great sex, and ignored him when he was an ass, the curse was hardly a curse.
