My first attempt at writing angst... Enjoy reading!


Remus waits until she falls asleep. Her breathing is even, her hair slowly changing color.

He needs to go. He has to. There is no other choice. He already ruined her life by marrying her and now… now he ruined an innocent child's life before it was even born.

He was so selfish.

Only thinking about himself, he actually believed it would be alright.

He should go now. But he can't. Just a little more time. He can't go right now, not when Dora buries her head in his shoulder and her hand is resting across his chest.

Just a few more moments of this pure bliss. Just a few more moments to enjoy the feeling of having someone next to him, hugging him. Loving him.

Remus had never been loved so fiercely before. And he had never loved so fiercely before.

He has to go. Now.

Slowly, he grabs Dora's hand and gently places it next to him. And even more slowly, reluctantly, he removes her head from his shoulder to the pillow under them.

Her lips brush against his shoulder and arm. Remus feels tears in his eyes.

He has to leave. But it's so hard. But he has to. But he couldn't. But he must.

He takes another moment to breathe and look at his wife's face, dreadfully thinking how this may be the last time he's going to look at that heart-shaped face, those pink lips which were always smiling a little when she slept, the eyelashes he looks at up close every morning. The eyes which were hidden right now. Those damned eyes. So many times full of tears and sadness before, but for the last few weeks so full of love and happiness.

Remus hates what he's about to do. But he has to.

Careful not to wake her up, he gets out of bed. He dresses and with a quick swish of his wand, his suitcase is in his hand.

Tears are falling down his face as he kneels down and presses a lingering kiss on Dora's lips and forehead, brushes a strand of hair out of her face, fully well knowing the now light green hair is soon going to be a depressing brown.

One last look at her over his shoulder as he leaves their bedroom, quietly closes the door and heads towards the kitchen. He leaves a note and leaves the house. His home. The source of his happiness. His family. Dora. Their child. His life.

He doesn't look back as he apparates away.

When Dora wakes up in the morning, she finds her bed empty. She shrugs, thinking Remus is already awake and probably preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

She brushes her teeth, dresses for the day, still oblivious to the fact her husband left her.

She finds the note on the table and falls on her knees to the cold kitchen floor. Tears are spilling down her face, so many of them she thinks she'll drown in them.

One of her hands is placed over her still flat stomach while the other is clutching the note to her heart. The note said;

Dear Dora,

I'm sorry. I have to leave you. This is for the best.

I will never forget you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. But you must forget me. Move on. Find yourself a new husband and a father for your child; make sure they care for you and the child.

You're still so young and have the whole life still in front of you. My life is over now, without you, but I'm still breathing because of the fact this is what's best for you.

I love you. Always did, always will.

-RJL